Being Afraid Can Help You | Girls Chase

Being Afraid Can Help You

So you realized something about yourself recently: you realized that life is slipping you by while you sit back afraid to take it by the horns. Well it’s time to turn that new outlook to your advantage!

using fear

Where you were once convinced by all the lines and ideologies that told you it was better to numb yourself from the fear of life and its uncertainty, now you know better and feel differently about things. Hidden in this new struggle is strength, and if you know why it exists and where, you might be able to figure out your own struggle a little faster.

And that’s why this article is here: to give you a start on finding strength in that struggle and your newfound connection with fears you never had before.

For the first time in a long time you feel a twang of fear, and you know it matters, and that makes more difference than you know.

Cody LyansAbout the Author: Cody Lyans

Girls Chase’s resident “man of mystery”, Cody shows shy, quiet guys how to turn these traits into assets. Girls call his style “cool and calibrated”; he’s adept at smoothly meeting girls everywhere from the beach to the dance floor. Cody prides himself on versatility, and specializes in both fast (~20 minute) hookups, and slow, sensual seductions. Book a phone coaching session with Cody today to learn from him directly.


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Anonymous's picture

Great article! Chasee- as always.
I've been struggling with something all my life and the thing is ... overthinking and - some people told me - overreacting. I talked to a girl I wanted to bed and everything went smoothly. She told I drive her crazy. But then something happened. I spoke to her on the phone to set up the meet and arrange logistics. I offered her my place and asked her to come to my city. She said she can do everything for me but not come to this place because she had a thing with a guy last month and the city will bring her memories back. She said she wasn't in love but she cheated her and she dosn't want to see the city and she can't come to my place.
She brought this guy up a couple of times during our conversation and it got me really riled up so I finally told her to go f... herself. I know it was rough.
I HATE when girls bring up other men in OUR conversation just like that.
Do you think I overreact and it's something I should work on? or you have the right to get miffed when and it's a sign she wants you to talk to her not make love to her.
what do you think?

David Riley's picture

Hey Anon,

While is okay to get jealous when a girl brings up another guy out the blue, this scenario is different. She was confiding with you about a painful memory. She felt like she could trust you. She felt a connection to you. Sometimes women tells us things as men that we don't want to hear. Women also don't seem to realize how sometimes their words affect men. Now the problem with getting jealous is it reveals your insecurities. This caused you to overreact. The girl seemed all for you and you had an emotional reaction rather than a logical response. If a girl feels she can't share with you, then she won't feel a connection.

In the future, don't take a girl's words personally. I don't she was genuinely trying to make you jealous. One thing I always suggest to girls who bring up bad memories is, "let's make new memories." It tells them not to live in the past but to embrace the future. Women love men who understand and who they can be open with. Now one thing you don't want to tolerate is girls who want to waste your time. Those are the girls to cut contact with. Invest in girls that are trying to and you in leading them to the bed room.

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

Cody - not Chase, sorry! Great article, still.

Anonymous's picture

and by the way, Cody or Chase can you write an article on the girl's past.
I constantly run into a girl who deals with stuff... either with her current boyfriend or what's worse she's emotionally connected with the past. Is it best to pack your bags in this situation or it simple something wrong I do and I fail to "replace" the emotions.
Is it actually about replacing the ex, making her forget about the past, or it's something else and if the girl is fucked up this way with the past there's usually not much you can do?
I've had a few situations I bedded a girl "with the past" and you can tell that she was not entirely there... it really sucks.

Wolf's picture

Hey cody, chase said you have tips for nonverbals and body language for the night club.
You should make that your next article.

Dave80's picture

Hey Chase,
What an article! I like the idea of fear as a motivational tool, since it takes something as primitive and uncontrollable as fear and uses it to our advantage.

I do have a comment/question, though. Have you thought about an article about how being a sexy male can help or hurt you in the work place?

This is something I've been thinking of more and more since I work in a professional setting and I have one boss who is a female and one who is a male. I play the sexy male role with the female, but does this help or hurt me?

I won't have sex with her because she's my boss so can this hurt me?
If she gets jealous of me being with another woman or if she feels like she needs to control me since she can't have sex with me? On the other hand, being sexy means she may want to please me or may want me to like her, so it may help in the work setting. What do you think?
And what do male superiors think of men who other women want? I would think they could either be jealous or if the boss is a normal, cool guy, he might like that male employee and want to even hang out with him.

I'd really like to hear your response to this. It's been on my mind quite a lot since I got a new job.


Anonymous's picture

Chase and Crew,

Fear is a good thing and I am enjoying it’s trill.

Dave, thank you for your advice and direction towards time management. I plan to use this to it’s fullest.

I have a topic you’ve most likely hadn’t come across.

My housemate is gay. And as I attend my night Salsa/Tango venue; I meet men who are interested in me, as my fundamentals are solid “enough”. My housemate states, “If gay guys don’t notice you, neither will the ladies.” So far, his statement has been true. Homosexual men have expressed their interest. Currently, I let them know I’m hetrosexual and I value their friendship (as most gay men have a pletra of lady friends) and I have a blast meeting new people.

An article, should any of you had the same experience, may help those who are new to this social dynamic one may come across and how to handle such a situation with confidence and savy. I’ve noticed, women find sexually liberated men facinating and tease like no tomorrow. And, maintaining a value with gay men and gay women broaden one’s horizons, there’s a personal line that I will not crossed; yet, this pre-selection is a social circle that can be harvested.

Please consider this topic for a strong, hetro sexual male to use to his advantage. Being a leader who exudes sexuality, confidence and comoraderay while maintaining an air of acceptance is something everyone seeks.

Thanks for the consideration.


Spicedrum – Taking a bite out of life and saviouring it all.

PS To you gentlemen first starting GC, this S*#T’s for real. Be careful.

David Riley's picture

Hey Spicedrum,

No worries, I'm glad the advice helped you out! I will definitely let Chase and the other authors know of your request.

Own Experience: I remember it was the last party of the school year and the movie "Project X" had just come out. I have made friends with a gay guy who I had seem at a couple parties, let's call him Jake. Anyway I remember talking to him when I saw this white girl who had such a nice ass. I told every and he said "Follow my lead." He walked up to her and said.

Jake: You have really pretty hair.
Girl: Thanks Jake!
Jake: Oh no problem, you have a nice ass too. *Said in an extremely fun, friendly way."
Girl: You think so?
Jake: Oh yeah girl, let grab it.
Girl: Okay!
*Me on the walking up after Jake waves me over*
Jake: Can my friend grab your ass too
Girl: Sure
*Just Dave begins squeezing said ass and rubbing it!*

Jake was one of the coolest guys I had met that year. He had also helped me land a couple more girls that night too.

Take care,

Just Dave

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