10 Surprising Rules on How to Be a Wingman | Girls Chase

10 Surprising Rules on How to Be a Wingman

Chase Amante

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Mon, 07/25/2011 - 23:32


how to be a wingmanUnless you exclusively meet women by yourself, sooner or later you're going to have a buddy along with you when you meet a new girl or two. And what your buddy does -- and what you do -- can go a long way toward determining the outcome of that encounter.

There are, it seems, as many prescriptions out there on how to be a wingman as there are on how to become a millionaire, or how to get six-pack abs. But, you know me -- I don't tend to agree with too much of the advice that's out there. I usually find it overcomplicated and too "fancy."

Like, if you want great abs, you don't get the Super Ab Roller 3000 and start rubbing lotions on your stomach to melt away the fat. Instead, you just scale down the number of calories you're taking in and cut your carbs to drop the belly that's hiding your abs, and regularly hit the gym, go grab a bar above your head, and start lifting your knees up against your chest until your abs are on fire a couple times a week to build up your abdominals. Presto, great abs without magic machines or mysterious ointments.

Learning how to be a wingman is like that. You'll get all kinds of crazy advice out there -- some of which I'll highlight today, as examples of what not to do, before we get into what to do. But you'll be better off avoiding all that crazy advice, and instead sticking to what works.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Anonymous's picture

Interesting point about the introductions. In the USMC, we're expected to introduce the lower-ranked officer to the senior (e.g. Colonel, I'd like you to meet Lt. So-and-so). Doing otherwise is considered disrespectful. Just goes to show even the military understands some of these social cues!

Chase Amante's picture

Ha, yep! I did some work for the US Navy for a couple of years, and when my Captain would introduce me to folks, I noticed he'd address them first if they were higher-ranked or the same rank as he was, but he'd address me first if it was a lower-ranking officer than himself.

So I'd hear, "General, this is Chase, he's doing some work for me on the XYZ project; Chase, this is General Smith," when it was someone outranking him, or I'd hear, "Chase, this is Commander Jones, he's our liaison for ABC area," when it was someone he outranked. I suppose me not having a rank but being a direct report of his he was treating me as a rank just beneath himself.

Cool insight, and thanks for your service, brother!


Danielle's picture

Full disclosure: I'm a writer who's working on a book about a girl who can't pick up men (highly unlikely, right? But that's the point; she's cursed), and I've spent the better part of the day researching what Google can tell me about being a wingman. This was by far the most useful and thought-out article I've read all day. While I'm still irritated by the very idea of men calculating their approach (I'm a woman, and you're right, we DON'T appreciate the "attraction is like math" method of thinking), I have to admit, nearly everything you wrote got a reluctant "yep, that's absolutely true" from me. Well done, sir.

I think the only addition I'd make is this: if you've engaged your target, and she's flippant or reluctant, after a couple of minutes, tell her it was nice to meet her and move on. She's probably not worth the effort if she's not eager to play with you, and you'll be wasting both her time and your time if you keep trying, and you don't want all the other women in the room to see you as "that guy who that girl keeps scowling at."

I'm hoping this was omitted from the article because it's common knowledge, but if it isn't, please take my advice and save everyone an uncomfortable confrontation. ;)

Dale's picture

You have got how down; if she shows reluctance and scowls at every guy who approaches will work fine. Also, acting surprised when he approaches will often work.

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