People Usually Choose Mates with Similar Faces | Girls Chase

People Usually Choose Mates with Similar Faces

Chase Amante

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facial similarity attraction
You may have noticed, but a LOT of couples look really similar to each other, facially. Is there an element of attraction related to facial similarity?

Send this article to anyone you know who thinks "You can't get a good-looking woman unless you're genetically blessed with natural good looks yourself!" to really blow his mind.

There's an interesting phenomenon I've paid some attention to over the years: the phenomenon of romantic couples looking facially quite similar to one another.

I first started paying attention to it when I noticed how different different people's assessments are of what is attractive. There's a thread on our forum where guys post pictures of their dream lays... any man who goes through that list is going to see some women he agrees with, and some women he says, "What? That's your dream shag?!"

Seriously, you should scroll through that list... you'll be surprised. Here's just a sample of what different men from the Boards rate as their dream girls to go to bed with:

facial similarity attraction
The dream lays of various different guys. Which ones are your dream lays?

What I began to notice over the years was oftentimes when a guy told me some girl was really hot, and I looked at her and thought, "Whoa... that girl is not really attractive at all," I could take a look at the girl, then take a look at the guy, and I'd discover they actually had a great deal of facial similarity. Similar eyes, similar nose, similar mouth, similar jawline.

And it would click: "Ahhhh... that's why he likes her. She looks like him."

When I'd look at celebrities, and scratch my head over why a wealthy, famous guy with his pick of nearly any woman he wants would choose as his wife some of the total dogs a lot of male celebrities seem to pick (in my tastes), I'd realize those dogs were, in fact, very facially similar to the male partner himself.

At the same time, from time to time, I'll notice couples whose faces are almost total opposites. This intrigued me too. I see it a lot less than the "dead similar" couples, but I do see it.

And as I saw all this, I started to formulate a theory, that gave me a better understanding of human mate choice matching.

This theory made me even more confident (as if I was confident enough) in my own pickups as well... because it helped me realize a few things about what kinds of girls were likely to be most receptive to me, and what kinds of girls I was likely to get on with best myself.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



James D's picture

Hi Chase,

My girlfriend, who's from Kazakhstan, went to meet 3 of her Kazakh girl friends for coffee, in part to catch up with them but also to announce them that she has been seeing her secret boyfriend for the past 9 months (me).

She told me she was curious about their reactions to her dating a brown Indian/African guy. (Kazakh culture is a bit narrow-minded according to my girlfriend. She herself thought since childhood that she was kinda racist too. At least until she found herself losing her virginity to a brown guy xD)

Anyway, after their initial shock and after concluding that we make a cute couple, all three of them noted how alike my girlfriend and I looked. They compared our faces and drew several similarities, showing how our faces match. It came quite as a shock to me. That article of yours came with the answers.

And for the little game:
8 (with long hair though)

Nick Kotarski's picture

Any advice for someone whose smile is fairly asymmetrical due a birth defect?

Kayne 5150's picture

have you looked into plastic surgery?

James D's picture

Hey Nick,

This worked for me:

Train's picture

3, 4, 2, 7, 8, 6, 5, and 9.

I do recognize that 6, 7, and 8 are objectively good-looking. Especially 8 who is very pretty, but I have little attraction to her. I feel like other guys would think me insane for my bottom preferences.

Noteworthy is that my first preference is a different race. And the only one that makes my "heart race". Then the attraction goes down to "Hot. Would bang somewhat happily." And then "I rather not."

Train's picture

Forgot to place 1:


Ambiance's picture


Dr.X's picture


Bizzy's picture

I wonder who these girls in the chart are? I only recognize Eva Mendes but who is No. 2? She is like the most attractive to me but it's hard to judge from just one pic. Eva Mendes is actually pretty too but in this pic her hair doesn't fit her at all. However, there is no woman that I think is exceptionally attractive but I would for sure sleep with all of them lol

My order: 2, 3, 1, 4, 6, 9, 8, 7, 5

Train's picture

#2 is Troian Bellisario

Bizzy's picture

Oh thanks man!

Kanye 5150's picture

8 (big tits, wide hips, big butt.....Wouldn't touch her now. But she looked good about 5 years ago)

9 (big tits, not sure about rest of idea who she is)

7 (big tits. Is she Sophia Vergara?. Her butt is mediocre).

Not sure about the others. Need to see their bodies.

Will KZ's picture

"People with a bad relationship with their parents/family actively look for people who do not remind them of family."
Makes sense as a theory, but I'd like to suggest an alternative. People looking for dissimilar mates perhaps have much lower self-esteem, and would rather be involved with partners that don't remind them of themselves. The bad relationship with the parents is perhaps a likely cause of the self-esteem issues, but perhaps not the direct effect for dissasortative mating.

On to the list - 7 (is she really a pornstar? She looks like a young Sofia Vergara), 4, 1, 6, 3, 9, 8 (I think she'd be higher with long hair, at least above 9), 2, 5.

Chase Amante's picture

Will KZ-

Oh, interesting. I like that theory, could well be the case.

They have beaten-down self-esteem... start to think of themselves as inferior... start to think of their GENES as inferior... so start to seek out a "superior" (i.e., someone who doesn't look like them) mate to mix genes with.

Whereas the high self-esteem individual considers himself the very tip-top, par excellence, and seeks out mates who resemble him -- because after all, you can't beat what's already perfect.

Very interesting.

#7 is Sofia Vergara (when younger) yeah.

She's very naturally attractive. However the sensuality of the picture is probably inflating her ratings for men higher too. Sexiness works.


Will KZ's picture

Well both theories are quite similar in a genetic context (my genes are bad because of me or because of my parents, let me find something very different).

I realised just after posting that you said bottom right (9) was the pornstar, not bottom left. The lovely Sofia is definitely smouldering in her photo, but I've often been drawn to that Colombian look. Would be interesting to see her instead with a nervous/flirtatious smile like 4, my second choice, or a big smile like 8

Chase Amante's picture


Well both theories are quite similar in a genetic context (my genes are bad because of me or because of my parents, let me find something very different).

This... is an excellent point!

Two paths to the same destination.

Didn't even consider that when I posted. Interesting.


Victor820's picture

I''ve been thinking this for years. Couple like Justin and Hailey Bieber look so alike with their long, thin faces. They both have a long jaw and slim features. I've also noticed myself attracted to women who have a similar head shape as me and I notice those same women are more attracted to me.

1984's picture


I don't bother rating the rest, cause they don't register on my radar.

Farhan's picture

Helps me a lot cause if I am not scared of cute girls why should I be scared of girls I subjectively find very attractive. Even if she fits what would some people call of "objective beauty", it doesn't mean she is drop dead gorgeous to everyone and might be ugly for some guys. My list is as follows : 5, 1, 3, 7, 8, 4, 9, 2, 6. Some have tits a bit out and have makeup or different facial expressions and that can increase the score somewhat unfairly. I search up 5 who is Crystal Reed and she can be a 10/10 in some pics lol.

Robinhood's picture

Hi Chase. I have noticed the same from experience. I like and date girls similar to my face and who look a bit like my mom too. I don’t like my mom but have high self esteem. I like this self esteem theory better from poster above (no offence to your great insights). Currently mutually attracted to a girl who’s facially very smiliar to me.

I never understood this as it doesn’t make sense from evolution psychology pov as we should be looking for partners different to us to have a balance in faces of babies. What are your thoughts on this?

Ken Gates's picture

7, 6, 8, 9, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2

omgroflcopter's picture

1, 7, 5, 4, 9, 2, 8, 3, 6

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