Dating App Gurus vs. Pick Up Artists: What's the Difference? | Girls Chase

Dating App Gurus vs. Pick Up Artists: What's the Difference?

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating app gurus
More and more, guys who succeed with women on dating apps are claiming their way is the 'best way.' But do these guys have superior seduction skills – or are they full of hot air?

When I was a seduction neophyte, cutting my teeth on game, everyone agreed: online dating was good for a few easy lays and a little momentum. Nevertheless it wasn't where you wanted to hang your hat.

There were guys then who specialized in it. But the rule of thumb was, the more into online a guy was, and the less 'real world', the more of an introverted, and frequently kind of odd, guy he was. Online was its own unique niche... but nobody went around equating it with pickup. The two were different things.

Online and pickup/seduction overlapped in some ways. But online always only ever covered a subsection of the skills and tool sets a man learned in cold approach pickup.

Recently, however, there's been a sort of ideological schism.

With the normalization of dating apps, the number of men whose lays come mostly or entirely from dating apps has skyrocketed.

And, increasingly, these online dating guys are getting some rather large egos.


Pink's picture

Very interesting piece. I have found myself thinking about this subject quite frequently lately, especially with dating apps being the only avenue to connect with women during quarantine. While there’s no doubt you can get lays through apps, often with little effort, the experience never quite compares with real life. I draw this distinction: cold approach requires great masculine energy while dating app game requires little masculine energy.

Why cold approach requires masculine energy should be pretty obvious. Cold approach requires courage, strategy, aggression, and often the ability to compete with other men.

On first glance, dating app game seems to require masculine energy as well. Having meaningless sex with strangers has traditionally been a male pursuit. It should follow that dating app game requires masculine energy.

Unfortunately, I believe the premise to be invalid. At its core, I don’t think interest in meaningless sex with strangers is particularly masculine or feminine. The main reason women haven’t pursued meaningless sex in times past derives from the attached risks and stigmas.

Now, what other traits does dating app game require? Definitely not the ability to compete with other men or aggression. There’s a little courage and strategy but not much. To get laid on date set up with an app, you must convince the girl that, despite meeting on the internet, she will feel safe going home with you. While often this isn’t too hard, it requires little or no masculine energy. In many cases, men utilize feminine energy to drive home this point.

This post reminds me a bit of Alek’s post last year on changing nightlife. Honestly, if you know what you’re doing, getting laid in 2020 (pre-quarantine) is not too hard. I think it may actually be easier than five or ten years ago. But, there is something wrong.

“I think about my father. He never reached the heights like me. In a lot of ways he had it better. He had his people, they had their standards, they had pride.” -Tony Soprano

Horniness only explains part of the reason guys became PUAs. As the West became increasingly feminized, men needed an outlet. PUA provided a space for men to be men by learning and mastering the skills to attract women. Most of the time, the easiest way was the right way.

We’re entering an era where the easiest way to attract women i.e. dating apps no longer utilizes masculine energy. The harder way to attract women i.e. real life still serves this purpose. This is strange territory but I’m optimistic.

Anonymous 's picture

Hey Chase,

What's your app game like? Like opener, messages, date location, how soon to set up the date, etc.?


BST80's picture

So - I've been doing the dating thing now for 3.5 years - love this site... first and best resource I go to. You're comments about Apps are spot on and something I have noticed. The girls are rarely hot hot hot - and the ones that are - are nuts. I just had one last weekend - nuts - my first cluster B likely. Went from wanting to marry me to out the door in 5 days. Anyways - the thing that is often a miss is energy. You can't feel her energy like you can in a cold approach. The playful banter in person when the approach is made, her thinking about you... because guys don't do this and so on makes it more fun. Also - I find flake rates are WAAAAAY lower. Plus you already know what she looks like. My spiciest seductions have been from cold approach. I feel I can sense her energy and just know what to do its odd. Starting from ground zero on an app kills that. Also - the app - at least here in Toronto - is full of "time wasters" - girls who will go on the odd date but are not in the mental place to receive the D. So you run your thing and things go well... lots of energy... keno... venue change only to get the "I don't feel it" or "lets be friends" text - but the truth is she isn't sexual or mentally ready or willing to be sexual. You can filter that out in a cold approach.

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