Knowing When to Break Up with a Girl | Girls Chase

Knowing When to Break Up with a Girl

Chase Amante

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break up with a girlBreaking up with a girl is quite often one of the toughest things you'll do. It involves cleaving yourself from someone else you've likely grown quite close to, and have quite possibly been with for a long time and shared a lot of experiences with.

It's often said that the end of a long-term relationship can have the same emotional impact on someone as the death of a loved one. It can be that strong.

So it's no wonder that most people have a really hard time breaking up -- and that relationships frequently limp on long after they should've finished. Instead, people wait, and put the decision off, hoping that somehow, it'll just take care of itself.

It never does, of course. What I'm going to talk about with you today, then, is how you recognize the signs that it's time for you to break up with a girl.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, great job on this blog and everything you write on here. It is some of the most insightful, honest, and detailed work on social relations with women that I have ever seen. I didn't know that knowledge to this degree could ever be available, and I wish I had found this information years ago.

What I want to know is, how does one decide, when they have the means to support such a relationship, move into a marriage relationship and prevent these same two things from occurring? For indeed, many marriages follow this same pattern. First bliss, and then either the man becomes tame (and the woman loses respect for the man), or he refuses to be tamed (and she resents him). Thus.....we observe the divorce rate, and are not surprised.

Is a permanent, positive relationship of this nature with a woman even possible? And how would one discover a way to go about doing that?

MT's picture

I'll answer this question as Chase hasn't.
Even though it's from 2011, perhaps I can still add some value here.

I think at some point you will discover that you can't truly love a person and then suddenly hate them with a flick of a switch.

When she goes all in to "tame" you, manipulate you into her personal teddy who's not allowed to have a will of its own, then when you refuse becomes incredibly angry and vengeful.... that is not love. It is attachment.
True love can not go from 100 to 0 in an instant, and back to 100 later. It doesn't work like that.
Attachment, however, certainly can.

So if your relationships go like that all of the time, then you may want to consider to stop confusing such a dynamic with love. By doing so, you will then raise your own level of consciousness and find out for yourself what true love means to you. And coming from that place you can then pick women who are on or close to that level. Women who have learned just like you how true love operates, and how it differs completely from your run-of-the-mill - and sadly quite mainstream - attachment dynamic.

People with highly successful marriages know this truth, but not all know how to explain it.
What's for sure is that is has something greatly spiritual to it. Love require spirit.
And with that I do not mean that you have to be religious.
You can be a materialist and still experience spirit.
Although religions can certainly act as a stepping stone to get there.

This is how teacher Eckhart Tolle explained it a while ago:

All the best.

Anonymous's picture

preach it. my girl partied without me without me knowing where she was. then she slept at his house.

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

Love your work, Ive been reading many of your posts the last 2 days.
Your eye for detail and insights are very valuable, and I thank you for sharing them.
There is this girl I have been with for a year and a half now
she really tried to domesticate me hard after the 3rd week already.
I complied and we started the relationship.
Now I broke up the relationship in december, because I was having doubts about how long we should still stay together, and felt like I had to make a decision.
I guess I felt trapped in the relationship somehow. For a week or 2 after the breakup I was a complete mess.

Now in January we agreed to try again slowly, but she was pushing for exclusivity between us, to which I never really complied.

Now she wants a decision on my part, either to commit to her exclusively or to break up. (Also I forgot most of the reasons I had when I broke up with her in december.)

Now that she's ready to walk away I'm more drawn towards her and thinking like I maybe should not give up on her (she is very pretty, she is in love with me, I like her, and feel some kind of love for her) i'm feeling like im stuck in a dilemma. To give up my freedom, or to give her up.

This is my first long term relationship, and this is the hardest decision I ever had to make in my life.

Anyways im stuck and cannot decide.

Anonymous's picture

Break up with her man, she's already giving you ultimatums and thats reason enough to tell her to hit the road. If you give in to her and become exclusive she will continue to give you ultimatums to get what she wants. Before you know it you'll be on a leash. Plus the fact that she is forcing you to choose means your not really that into it, I mean if you really were wouldn't you have chosen to date her on your own? You know what you have to do, good luck man.

smax's picture


My girl who I was with for over a year now, often says to me she wants to go on girl nights out which invole drinking and going night clubs.if all her friends are going and no guys what am I supposed to say, not let her go out with friends?
Like I hate when she goes out, I know guys on the dancefloor come over to her but I guess been in a relationship is all about trust and I just got to believe she won't cheat, right?

Jimbo's picture

In theory, yes. But do you really want to take that chance? The chastity record of girls partying away from their boyfriends isn't that good.

Transcendant's picture

So I followed ur advice and it seems she still has it in for her EX. Yet she still wants us to be friends... Is that advisable cause it sounds ridiculous -_-

Anonymous's picture

Hi, the story is, is that me and this girl I've been seeing for 6 months have ended up apart because I've moved away to attain a better career oppurtunity, the result of this being that even though we still see each other once a month and are in contact with each other every day I feel like its unfair on her for us to pursue this relationship when she has the oppurtunity to be in a happy relationship with someone who she can see everyday .. I just want to know if I should break up with her, thanks

Wally's picture

I will stick to untamed because the one that really is down for you wont leave you for doing what you want. This blog was incredibly insightful, i would like to thank you for this very clear knowledge that i now have.

Jimbo's picture

Great breakdown, Chase. That's really how it comes down in every relationship. And the thing is, some of them start with that taming very early on, like a week in or so. And I gotta admit, that sweet spot between giving in and resisting the taming can be just too damn hard to find. I guess one way to do it is by pulling that fuckboy trick described in Hector's article, where you just apologize when you're resisting too much and starts going into auto-reject, so you pull her back in, only to go back to untamed ways right afterwards.

Kris's picture

this article is Bull! People partying without eachother is a sign of Breaking up? How paranoid are you?

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