Do You Really Need to Know, or Is It Just Mental Masturbation? | Girls Chase

Do You Really Need to Know, or Is It Just Mental Masturbation?

Chase Amante

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mental masturbation
Information is good to have, and plans can be useful. Nevertheless, sometimes it goes too far – into the realm of mental masturbation.

There's a term from the mid-2000-naughts, somewhat less popular now, called 'mental masturbation'. Mental masturbation is any line of thought people spend time on that is, for all intents and purposes, useless. It doesn't help achieve any goals or shed any worthwhile insight. The mind is engaged, but its output is worthless.

I never much liked the term. It's crude, and often dismissive. Most things, at some level, are worth thinking about. When the 'mental masturbation' meme took over mASF (the now-defunct pick up artist community forum) years back, it fast became overused to the point of inanity. New, shy guys would ask some question or other, and veterans would tell them "That question is just mental masturbation!" Which to me always sounded like the natural's retort: "Who cares about those details. Just talk to girls!" Useful for some, but a door shut in the face of others.

Yet there's certainly something to the 'mental masturbation' concept... because there absolutely is a limit beyond which continued focus on the details is pointless:

  • You're worried about getting a girl pregnant, but you haven't been laid in four months? Mental masturbation.

  • You're trying to dream up a new way to hook up with sorority girls, yet you've never hooked up with a sorority girl before? Mental masturbation.

  • You're thinking about how cool it'd be to have a playboy lifestyle, when you mostly stay at home with no social or romantic life? Mental masturbation.

It's important to realize when you've slid into mental masturbation... if only to stop wasting your time (and perhaps others') with go-nowhere fantasies and lines of inquiry.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Peachybro's picture

Great post Chase as I have been extremely guilty of this. A few months ago I used to post in and out on your forum about my life goals and what I want to do but in recent months, I have got to a point of doing them now.

Do not bring any promising news to you about things going real well, in fact they are not. I am actually finding that the more I go out and try game, its like the more questions I do come back with.

Right now I am at a stage where I want my life to be a certain way (playboy lifestyle with a lot of friends) but I am at more of the starting stages of it. My problem is that I see guys who might be where I am at and I wondering what are the steps needed, like everything inbetween for me to get there and what I am doing wrong compared to those guys. At times I cannot help but wonder that they got an easy start in life due to getting into it when they were in high school so their friends just carry over, victim mentality on my end for sure.

Whenever I go back to the drawing board on my end I just end up with that many more questions.

Having an image of where I want my life to be, trying to work backwards but seeing what new ideas I can incorporate in there to get my life to where it needs to be.

Anonymous 's picture

How bad is it that you do both mental and physical masturbation a lot? hahahaha.

I'm being serious tho, damn. I guess it's like a dream world, just dreaming.

You dream so much that it becomes a reality.
Years go by and you're still dreaming, not realizing that you are further than you were yesterday. But that's not enough, you dream even more, but you're also further from your real life goals. The more you dream, the further it is, and the more real it seems. Until you wake up and your dreams and reality combine!!!!!! Then, you will achieve greatness.

How'd you like my little poem or whatever they call it?

Do you think dreaming a lot is a real mental problem ? What would stem for one to actually dream so much that they'd rather dream than work to have it in real life ? I know there's fear, but your article really made me realize that I've been living in a fantasy and it became real to me.

Like it was the opposite; I felt my dreams were real, like honestly real, but I haven't done a thing and am stuck in the same place, literally feeling so good about my dream that I'd rather dream than put the work in for fear my dream wouldn't come true.

Great article, I'll visualize my goals and get right to it to make it a reality.

Benjamin's picture

Wow chase I feel like you made this post just for me. Almost like you read my mind and knew what kind of article I needed. I'm constantly procrastinating approaching girls. I make a ton of excuses to myself. This summer was a perfect time for me to start,but I squandered it away because I keep speculating that approaching girls will lead me to ego depletion and I didn't want to go through that. If I think about approaching a woman I assume it will go bad and it will be pointless for me to do. I constantly feel this inertia holding me down not allowing me to even think about going out just to approach girls without feeling uneasy inside. Part of me wants to be good with girls,but my hunger isnt strong enough usually.However sometimes I think about the girls around me at work who have boyfriends and how attractive they are and how I messed up opportunities to get with several girls who were attracted to me and I could've had and it gets me mad and gets me into this emotional state where I have some temporary motivation to get better,but still fail to do anything differently. I wish I didn't have to constantly fight this cognitive dissonance in me where one part of me doesnt want me to suffer and feel the emotional downs of learning pickup for a long period of time while the other half of me wants to be in a place where women are present in my life so I can have physical and emotional connections with them. Thanks for writing the article. I feel like this one may have the potential to push me over the edge and do what I need to do to change my life.

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

What a coincidence, I wrote an essay about legal rights and definition issues and how western's approach to this is an endless loop of debating over fine details with intent of "making everyone happy", resulting in stagnant progression for developing new laws and policies in face of new technology and crimes. One word, mental masturbation. All talk and thoughts but no action.

It's vital to take some decisions off the plate to avoid endless rumination and make decisions.

Great minds think alike and at the same time ;)
(Nah you're much greater than me XD)

But I admit, I think A LOT.
And that's why I have so many comments as you know well ;)
Although I do try to constantly check myself to make sure I am not just reading tons of things and not doing them, thank you for this reminder :)

Re: Hired guns and when she's around people she knows

So I've had this experience for awhile.

Ross's good ol' article on hired guns. Time your approach, take note of how much time you have to interact with her, get number and go (or talk longer if possible).

However, one of the things that stood in the back of my mind was, "Workplace, she has colleges around".
Cashiers I managed to get away because it's usually loud.

But recently, I went to the doctors' office and they had a new reception. She was adorable.
I didn't notice any particular AI, but I do realize how quiet it is and every word can be heard.

What would you do in this situation? Would you still chat her up a bit and then ask her "when time you off?" just like ross' example in his article or something else?

I notice that girls when in presence of their friends or people they know, they tend to not want to make a scene.
They will still feel uncomfortable and if you persist, they usually give you the bite, but usually the number doesn't lead to anywhere.

Girls under pressure? Usually results against what you want.
Such as when girls are in front of their friends and we approach them. They're not separated from the group or disengaged and looking around bored, so when approaching, their friends will see what's happening.
which seems to be similar thing than the hired gun dilemma.

But it's a dilemma. Not taking the shot at all? Then yeah she doesn't feel uncomfortable, but also will miss all those happy experiences she could have had with a sexy man.


Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Nice HTML editor! :) Now I can finally do the Block quotes you guys all can do. I'm too noob to do those without the code ;)

Re: Condom use

There's a lot of stuff online about how to avoid breaking condom, std and pregnancy.
I heard people say whenever you pull out, always change condom before going back in.
So that means if we switch positions, etc. or going to different moves, change condom?

Or if you go from foreplay to blowjob, change before going in?

Also heard about fingering and oral job
If you finger her during foreplay, and then touch your penis to put on condom when you go in, won't that be risky for STD?

And oral job and STD.

What are your thoughts? Any personal tips you have found that helped you avoid the text "Honey, I'm pregnant" for so long? ;)

Re: You'll notice a pattern if you see your gf and past ex

I remember you saying this tho I can't remember which article.
I think you said how that shows a pattern of a type we like.

On second thoughts, what if that's a type we attract from our fundamentals?
And since they're the type we attract, they are also the type to be more available to us, resulting in more chances of relationships etc.

Not necessarily the type we are into, albeit availability heuristic and history may say so.
And then after seeing most girls who are into us are that type, we convince ourselves that YA, I'M into these types!
and we won't be able to tell if that is true had we not been in the same circumstances...

Just my brain rambles, food for thought ;)


Motiv's picture

Straight from the horse’s mouth

She enters your world… not the other way around.
Tweak your way to the top ;)

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