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How do you sleep with a girl when you have a roommate? There are
two
(2) scenarios: housemates, and roommates… And there exist strategies
for each.
This is a question we get a lot on these parts: how do I sleep with girls when I have a roommate?
I’ve done enough hooking up with girls in places where I’ve had housemates, or even full-on roommates (i.e., someone who sleeps in the same room as you). While I usually prefer to have my own place or go to the girl’s place, it’s been my experience that roommates can actually make it easier for you to sleep with new women... I’ll tell you the reasons why in just a minute.
Caveat: this entire article is predicated on you not having totally lame cockblock roommates. If your roommates are lame pricks who don’t get laid and want to do everything in their power to make sure you don’t get laid either, then either change your living situation, or get good at going back to girls’ places or sleeping with girls in less conventional settings.
Assuming your roommates are at least marginally cool people whom we can get to play along with helping their bro get a new girl in the sack (or at least, they’re folks we can get to not interfere), let’s examine some strategies to help you bed babes in spite of your living situation.
Comments
Jealous/Bitter Roommate
Excellent article Chase. I've gotten a ton out of your writing and you reliably continue to crank out more and more quality, high caliber content. This particular piece helped me figure out something that had really bugged me not too long ago...
I had a roommate first semester of my freshman year who grew substantially colder towards me over the course of the year, though I didn't know why. I just couldn't figure out what I was doing to him. I was considerate and cool with him, but to no avail. The guy increasingly made it clear that he was not on my side, especially with girls. Word for word, he had used every single objection you listed more times than I can count when I tried to get the room. Only now do I realize that he was being such a dick because he was jealous of all the success I was having. Pretty hilarious now that I know. (Though I wish I had figured it out sooner! I thought I had done something to really insult him. The guy was the epitome of passive-aggressive, and I later learned was always trashing me behind my back.) He must have hated me so much.
Anyway, I got out and haven't seen him since. It's quite a shame because I like getting my friends laid almost as much as I like getting myself laid, and instead this totally uncool roommate decided to be a constant thorn in my side. If he had been a slayer he would have had the best roommate he could have hoped to get. Plus I had a really cool room. Good riddance.
Goes to show how crucial it is to associate with the right people. Very glad to be able to forget about that. Terrific topic. Pristine insight. Thank you Chase.
Re: Jealous/Bitter Roommate
Ambiance-
Victim mentality in action on that roommate, eh?
Crazy when you run into stuff like that, too. Where you know you'd be throwing bones to this guy, but he just has no idea, and sabotages both of you out of bitterness or spite.
The sad part is self-destructive people don't realize they're self-destructive. They just think the world's against them.
Someday, one hopes, that roommate will wake up, reflect on everything in a new light, and say, "Wow. I shitcanned an awesome opportunity when I was roommates with Ambiance, didn't I? That was dumb."
Not much you can do yourself in the moment when someone's mind is closed, though, other than get away from them and exit the situation. Happy thing you're out of there.
Chase
Time
1.How did you manage your time with picking up girls,your full-time corporate job, social life , and working on your business, Chase after you graduated college?
Maybe I can use what you did to help me. I just have school added to the list, but it's mostly online, so it shouldn't be too hard to do these things.
2. When you didn't have your job, how did you survive and make money while making girls chase?
Also, how did you continue to focus on getting better with girls and social life while you were working hard on your business? I know you had to work very hard on both at that time?
3. Lastly, I know now you say you work 12 hours days and stuff, so how do you still have time to pick up? I know you don't do as much because you know who to go for, but you still have to go out, date, and have a social life as well.
4. You think it's possible to get excellent with girls by just going out on weekends and working during the week?
Thanks Chase
Questions
SZ-
Going out to meet girls was 3 to 4 nights a week for me after college. During the day on weekdays I was at work. The rest of my nights / weekend days were spent either with friends/social circle, with girlfriends, or doing something on my own.
I did do any running of businesses until 2009, at which point I was off my project and riding the bench, as they say in consulting (i.e., you still get paid, but they have no work for you). Once they had more projects for me and I was out of town all the time again, I had to stop offering the classes Mateo and I were offering back then.
When I did not have my job, fortunately I'd had good pay / savings for four years, plus plenty of belongings to sell (like my old Mercedes), and a lot of credit. So I was okay. Even still, I lost a lot of money betting big on one business, and was in pretty desperate straits at one point. I shut down every other business and was close to pulling the plug on GC in summer 2012 and going back to the 9-to-5 world, until I managed to double the site's revenues and finally start to pay myself from it. That was also the point I dabbled with freelancing a bit, and realized I'd learned enough in 1.5 years of copyrwriting and digital marketing and conversions that my skills were already fairly in-demand, and I could easily freelanc for good money in a worst-case scenario. Caused me to chill out about money a lot more (backup plan).
Once I was working hard on business, the most active part of my learning curve with girls and social was done. Girls moved from a focus to a recreation, and social life I mostly cut. I don't know very many entrepreneurs who have much of a social life to speak of. That's something you go back to later once you're flush with cash and don't need to work all the time.
Picking up is organic and efficient for me at this point. I live in big cities, ride trains, and work in cafes, and choose to work in places with ample cute girls. Very easy to talk to girls waiting for the train with you or seated next to you in the cafe, and then you either pull straightaway... I had a cafe pull two nights ago; girl came over, sat near me, and spent hours glancing at me and brushing her hair back while we both worked on our computers, finally at closing time they told everyone to leave, just the girl and I were left, I leaned over and opened her, we traded maybe 20 words, left together, she asked where I lived, I told her, I asked where she lived, she told me "I live 5 minutes away - just over here," pointed, and we went. It's not always that easy, but I don't bother with hard stuff anymore, and girls seem to sense it and make it easier (there's a kind of time/scarcity pinging girls seem to do if they think you might be high status that makes it much easier to move fast if you are legitimately very busy; I always saw busy/successful friends benefit from this but could never replicate it myself until I was legitimately busy and successful enough myself)... or you just chat for a few minutes, take her number, then have her come somewhere super convenient for you on a date and pull her after 20 to 40 minutes. It's time efficient. It's quite nice, too. I don't miss spending hours in nightclubs (well, occasionally I miss it... very rarely still go), though that was my bread and butter for years.
If you are disciplined about it, yes.
One of my teachers, Vin DiCarlo, lived far outside of Boston and had a 9-to-5 when he wanted to learn seduction. So one day a week he would drive into Boston and spend 12 hours running day game. That was the only time he practiced pick up. He would run day game for 12 hours on Saturday, collect phone numbers, then set up 1 or 2 dates for Sunday I believe was his routine.
Have to be disciplined though. Very easy to slack off and say, "I'm tired, it was a long week, I'll go out next weekend," and before you know it the whole year's gone by and you're not any better.
Chase
Positive Thoughts
Chase, do you happen to know on how to get rid of fear of failure in anything or fear of losing, and replacing them with positive thoughts of courage?
Or is that just another form of depression?
I want to stop paying attention to these fears that I have and replace them with courage.
Re: Positive Thoughts
SZ-
Did you read my article on the topic? It went up a week ago:
Skip down to "Be the Lightbringer", there is a list of resources there on doing this.
Chase
Reply
This is a reply to your comment earlier today.
I was thinking money was more important too.
I'm kinda lost on how much focus you have to have to get good with girls though.
I know no one focuses on it on purpose, I'm sure people have a lot of stuff that they focus on more, but when deciding between focusing on girls or money I'm kinda lost on how girls can take so much time, that you can't make a lot of money while doing it. I know most people have jobs, school, and other things going on in their life at all times, so I know for most people girls are always second in some way and some guys do really good with women who have other things that take up their time.
Could you give me an example of focusing getting better with girls going 100% and getting more money 100%? Like a weekly schedule or something?
Is giving a 100% focus on girls, like going out everyday or something to approach women? I have an idea about working, that would be working a lot of hours, but I'm not sure how much is an ideal time or how many days one is supposed to give girls 100% of their focus.
I think an example schedule would help me understand better with the time it would take to get better with girls because I was thinking the weekends were enough, maybe I'm wrong.
Getting 20 year old girls as late 30s early 40s. I know you don't like the age questions, but this one is more of a surprised reaction and I'm honestly curious about it lol.
You make it sound so simple to me haha, get your money now and focus on women when you're in your 40s, I imagine you saying that like it's the most normal thing in the world haha. I'm over here like, won't I look odd If I'm out here hollerin at 20 something year old girls when I'm twice they age? Even if I'm exceptional, I'll feel like that old man who thinks he still got it, like I'm old, but tryna be young, I don't want to feel like that though, I want to smash 20s somethings forever.
I just wanted to let you know I ask a lot of questions because I'm general very curious and I want to make sure I'm understanding everything 100 % completely, that why I don't have to ask questions super later.
I do put the advice you have to use though, maybe I should write it down more, but with girls I haven't been going out as much, but when I did I tried different things to see if they worked, didn't work for me so I ain't speak on it, I have been focusing on myself now and not getting girls much, but I'll be back on the grind.
I have also tried a few side hustle that haven't worked yet, but I'll get back into that and make a business while in finishing up school.
Anyway, when you mention focusing on getting 20 something girls as late 30s and 40s, you mean even a complete beginner could still do well? Because I still do pretty well for myself when it comes to attraction and numbers at least, I just got to work on getting more girls on dates, my house, and I gottaa do some fuckin day game too.
But the way you made it sound so simple, it sounds like any late 30s to 40s guy can start from there and be successful with 20 something chicks.
Is it that simple to start at that age?
And how do I adopt the mindset of focusing on girls at those later ages as normal, instead of an old man trying to fuck these young girls playing catch up, cause if I put this on hold in going to be going hard to fuck many girls and don't want to sound like im some old creep or something while I'm approaching and fuckin all these 20 something year old girls.
Thanks my man
Schedule, Elite Men, Older Guy Mindsets
SZ-
I don't know like a detailed example schedule, man, everyone is very different. People approach their learning in very different ways. I mean, for old Chase it was 3 or 4 nights a week in bars and nightclubs, salsa night, etc., a few other nights on dates or girlfriends, and any left over time I was writing on seduction forums. I was on it 100%. Only time I wasn't on girls was while at work or at the gym.
Men who maintain themselves and are elite men are at the peak of their attractiveness from perhaps 35 to 45 and are insanely attractive to 20-something girls at this age. So yes, it's the most natural thing in the world, working under the assumption you will devote yourself to improving with women at some point and will get your game and fundamentals inline. If not, then yes, 20-something girls will be out of your reach and you'll have to settle for older broads. Do not expect to do well as a beginner, unless your fundamentals are in great shape. Then you might score some lucky wins from time to time while your game catches up.
Mindset thing... if you're worried about coming off as a creep you are probably not ready for it. What will happen is you'll be talking to girls, flirting with girls, hitting on girls, then one day you'll take a number from a girl or take her on an instant date and suddenly be like, "Wait a minute, this chick is like 22! I don't usually date girls this young!" and then you'll realize younger girls are liking you more now and you're doing better with them and the floodgates start to open.
Chase
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