What to Do When Women Resist Your Charms

Ok I will break it all down and comment as good as I can.

"I have had an ongoing saga with a girl who I am really into for about a month now... things moved really quickly at first...within a week of getting her number we were hanging out at my place and did three nights in a row with her sleeping over the last night. She is a pretty innocent girl so I didn't pressure her too much into sex (she is a freshmen and I am a senior - college)... one of the reasons I am really into her"

- First mistake. Every women loves sex and seeks it, even "innocent girls" (do they actually exist?). How do you want:
1) women to behave sexually toward you if you don't threat them like sexual beings?
2) women to feel at ease with being sexually around you if you don't accept her as a sexual being (from how I see it, you seem to show interest in her because she is innocent aka a-sexual)
3) women to look at you like a lover and have crazy sex with you if you don't act like one (by being sexual toward her?)

- Women love sex and they like dominant men who make sex happen. Threat women like sexual being and be sexual with them. Also show apprecuiation for their sexuality (i.e. love the fact that they love sex).

- Ok I am being strict here, but I want you to succeed. I need to bitchslap those fucked up beliefs so that you can get a succesful dating life. Here is your slap. Now you learned from your mistakes and next time you will do much better :)

"Clearly this girl was into me and I was/am very into her...like I said, things moved quickly but after about two weeks there was a sudden drop off."

- The reasons are elaborated right above :) lesson learned ! (that's how you get good with women btw)

"She ended up having to leave to take care of her friend who was sick at a party and thought I was mad that she was leaving me... "

- Might be true or not, doesn't matter. However she used to occasion to shittest you. BE VERY CAREFUL NOW. Do not commit to any relationships with her before you'v had sex with her. From what it looks, she is trying to make you into a provider. You do not what to be in this position. She makes you into a provider by making you commit to a relationship (bullshit relationship, because no real relationships starts without sex) or any other bullshit (the most dangerous scenario is when she makes you feel closer and closer to getting sex, while in reality she won't have sex with you ever, but she keeps making you believe you can get her because she wants you to provide her stuff). Women works that way. You wouldn't be in such a position if you came across as a lover (which would have required you to fuck her right away during the first meets). It is still possible to do some damage control, but honestly this case looks lost and even if you get to fuck her it will require a lot of work and you will have to face a lot of bullshit.

- We all fuck it up. I actually fucked it up last week (got drunk and forgot to fuck my target.... yeah that made me feel stupid). Lesson learned for me.

" I showed a little discontent via text the next day but nothing too "needy" or desperate that would have been a huge turnoff. "

- Once women puts you in a shitty situation, be non-reactive and somehwat move on and wait till they re-engage. It is also a good move when women give you serious shit like in your situation.

- Don't be affected because that communicates that she has too much influence over you. It also communicates neediness.

"Regardless, we texted a bit that next day but her responses were spaced out and it seemed a little off."

- That's a bullshit indicator, she is flaking. I think she has lost attraction completly to you. But again lesson learned :)

" I hit her up about two days later asking her when I could play guitar for her again/ or take her out. She was clearly flattered ("haha aww :)") but let me know she had a busy week and was going out of town that weekend."

- And you reward her for bad behaviour. Very unwise move. This communicates that you are accepting her bullshit, which can motivate her to give you even more bullshit.

- Further this is supplication. This is not attractive. You are giving her positive attention when she is giving you shit man. Not good.

- Reward only women with such positive attention once they behave positively toward you (like if she just cooked you a dinner).

"but let me know she had a busy week and was going out of town that weekend. I suggested a day later in the week and she said, "yeah maybe! etc, etc". I never followed up but texted her on Friday letting her I know I had a busy week but to have fun while she was out of town... no text back for 6 hours - saying, "so drunk didn't end up going last minute""

- She is flaking because she doesn't see you as a potential lover anymore, just a provider. You make her feel good (by receiving attention from you) and she sees potentials in getting stuff from you.

- My advice is now clear: move on, read what I write, avoid doing the same mistakes and a promise you will enjoy some wet pussy :)

"On Thursday, 5 days later, I texted her making small talk with the purpose of asking her to hangout. Unfortunately she had some family issues going on and it didn't work out. She never replied to my last text but I didn't sweat it too much because she said she was dealing with family stuff. I texted her again the next day to no avail... really hurt my ego and was honestly quite frustrating."

- Now you are just being needy, This is the biggest attraction killer. This is lost. But again we all fuck up (and we have all been in your situation). Learn from it and move on. Now you have more experience and you will avoid making the same mistakes again. You fucked it up, but the good news it: you are now on the right path my friend)

"I let it go for about a week and I couldn't stop thinking about her so I just said fuck it and called her and asked her on a date... she said yes and seemed pretty excited about it. I followed up with her early afternoon before we were supposed to go out to dinner and she texted me saying she had to babysit (legitimate excuse - conflicted with us hanging out once before)... rather than text her back I waited about an hour and called her to let her know it was okay and I understood - not to reschedule but to just play it cool. She didn't answer this time so I left a message.

Anyway, I didn't hear back from her until the next day at about 4pm with a long text saying, "hey got your message yesterday, sorry it didn't work out."

- Why is she behaving that way? well there are two potential explanations:

1) she is trying to be nice and not reject you harshly. She wants to keep her status as a good girl. She wants a good reputation. Further women doesn't want to hurt men because they feel bad about. She just tried to be nice, but yeah this is over.
2) she isn't into you, but once to keep you as a provider (a low rank provider called orbiter - a man who just gives her attention and social goods without receiving a shit in return). The way it works is that she makes you think she is into you while slowly pulling back and constantly flake and reject you.

"I know it's just dinner but I just got out of a kind of weird relationship and I just wanna chill for awhile. Nothing personal, you seriously are great! Just not right now""

- OK now we see that she is rejecting but trying to be nice. Further weird type of relationships means that she has found a lover. A lover never really commits but makes women fall deeply in love. Complicated relationships (from the get go) are always will lovers. sorry for the bad news, but I feel you deserve to know the truth.

"I was worried that u didn't think I had good intentions and didn't want u to think I was using you or anything because I think you're awesome. Really"

- She used you! heck she even mentions it and protects herself without you even bringing it up. She used you as provider. Next that girl and never talk to her again. This is for your own best. She is in a position to completly fuck you over.

"then she says, "Thanks. Truly honestly not a personal thing at all. You're seriously so chill and totally the kind of guy I would go after but with all the new adjustments and everything it's been like an overload. Definitely still want to keep in touch though. Definitely can party together and what not but personal stuff is just not what I want right now"

- Translated into: I want to keep you as just a friend (i.e. a provider) while I fuck other guys. Get out man! don't talk to her anymore!

"me: "You don't need to explain yourself. I know what it's like to be in your situation. But I do want to let u know that I haven't really been interested in a girl like I was with you for awhile. I've only liked 3 girls in my entire life...for what it's worth. So I hope that's at least flattering in some way" "and I bet you probably won't believe me when I say this but you're the first girl I've ever called and asked out"

her, "damn haha thanks. Well that's really sweet and definitely noted. We'll keep in touch."

me, "you can let me know if you ever want to do something" (implying idk wtf you mean by 'stay in touch')

her "haha okay! thanks for understand" "

- And you suplicate even more! man stop it! She is now out of your life!

Anyway my advice for now is... read what I wrote, and try to udnerstand it and get a lesson from it.

When it coems to her: move on!

Good luck man

Alek

Hi and good questions.

First of all I would like to say: women shittest, that's the way they are, simply accept it.

Now to the interest question :)

"So, my question is: is there a chance that really hot women get "fast escalation" a lot by men to the point where you would be different if you slowed down with them and romanced them instead?"

Hot women scare of most average men. Hot women doesn't have more sex than average looking women.

Secondly, when men are with hot women, they tend to play it carefully because they are affraid to "fuck it up"... a little bit like you are planning to do. Well guess what most men actually escalates slowly on hot women, so by going all romantic won't change anything. Also keep in mind that only a minority of men are alpha males (be one!) which means that most men will be chasing hot women by committing into relationships or making themselves perceived as relationship material. This of course is less attractive than being a purely sexual man, because a man who seeks romance is in women's eyes a desperate man.

It's the mans job to convince a woman to fuck him. however it is the womans job to chase the man and force him into a relationship. Do not change the natural course of things.

I suggest you stay sexually agressive. It's not only turns them on so much more, but it also makes you perceived as a sexual man (read my posts on sex talk and escalation) which means that 1) you will be perceived as a more attractive man because you are a provider of sex, which is an important human need, 2) most men are providers not lovers,and the lover is more attractive because you fulfill a biological need and not a social need, 3) by being a lover, sex becomes something expected from you, which will lower the potential resistance drastically.

"From the very first moments of our date she complained that men are too aggressive with her and that no one actually stays around. Anyway, I made out with her and touched her under her clothes, but I got LMR and I dropped it after my second make out."

Ok, this is a typical Anti-slut defence kick. She is trying to tone the interaction down because she is affraid of comming across as easy (or as someone who loves sex) because women gets judged from comming accross that way.

WOMEN, most of them will always fool you and try to make you believe they are A-sexual beings. This is bullshit, they love it when make are bold and sexual. However remember, women also seek betamales - aka providers, men who can provide them welfare (i.e. become their lameass boyfriend) and therefore sex is not a priority (because sex is better with a lover).

Women are sexually open toward lovers. In order to come across as a lover you need to:
- Be sexually confident.
- Not apologize for being a sexual man
- Show awareness about women loving sex (i.e. telling her "hey you little tease, stop bullshitting me, you love sex... but guess what, it is completly natural and I respect that). Trust me this will losen her up so much.
- Be a sexual man (and understand that has ASD - to which you can use some of the tools covered in this post to handle).

basically your problem is ASD. She is both testing you and protecting her rep. She is protecting herself from being labelled as a slut while at the same time checking wether you are a provider or a lover. You need to come across as a lvoer and handle that ASD.

Good luck. Let me know if anything was unclear.

Hi Doobie.

As I can see you are directing this question to chase. This is one of my threads, which means that i am the one keeping the watch over it. If you have any questions direct to chase I suggest the following:

1) Send him an email
2) post the question in one of his threads.

I would gladly answer your questions but I do not feel that I am in a position to do so. I have been to asia, but my knowledge remains very limited.

Sorry for that.

Either way, I will send an email to Chase and notify him about your question. This way he might chim in and answer it personally. This is the only thing I am in a position to do.

Good luck

-Alek

It is ok to fail, you cannot always succeed.

My suggestion is that you first of all try to figure out why you failed? what went wrong? what do you need to work on. This way, you can at least get a learning outcome from that failure.

Further you nexted her (broke contact with her) and met other girls and made her re-initiate contact. This was a very good move.

However understand this - you stole the frame as oyu broke contact with her. You are now in the power of the interaction. Women who has an agenda of making you into a fidele boyfriend, will try to get control over you (this process is called betafication/betaization). This means that she will at all cost try to win the frame back.

In fact, from what you are saying, she is desperatly trying to win the frame back.

"Anyway, I just arranged a date with her in a months time because she is really busy".

She is probably not busy, she is just trying to make you wait for her and make you invest in her. If you buy into this, she will get the frame. The problem is that whenver woman gets the frame and you start chasing, they lose attraction and they start perceiving you as a boyfriend potential, making you wait for sex (read my post on frames and sex talk).

I suggest you escalate normally because as it looks right now, she is desperate to get the frame back. This means that she will most likely hold back sex and give you shitloads of resistance.

I have two suggestions for you:
1) this case is a difficult case that will require a lot of work. You can always move on an meet other girls
2) if you are willing to put in a lot of work, you can always go for it, but expect a lot of resistance, flakes and other bullshit. If you choose this option, you need to be patient and unaffected by her bullshit. You must be willing to let her go anything and not invest too much in her. Give her as little attention as possible (because that will give her back the frame and you will lose).Also as she might flake and resist a lot, it will take some time before you finally reach your goal, therefore i suggest you keep meeting other girls in the meantime (this will also help you out, because it will remove possible neediness in you and make sure you don't chase her). You need to make her chase so much that you have full control over her. Only then you might have a chance to stick your dick inside her.

But again this is a tricky case. Do not get disapointed if you manage to fuck it up, because guess what, I believe she is a difficult women and difficult women remains difficult.

I would have dumped honestly.

-Alek

Nice move on breaking up with that girl. things would probably just become even worse over time.

"should you let a girl who allowed you to escalate physically with her but didn't give you sex to go then still try to have sex with her later?"

..... it..... depends....

It depends what the reasons are - why didn't you have sex with her. If it was because she wanted to just hold back sex just for getting your attention or making you chase just to validate her own ego, then yes do not talk to her again.

If she wants to hold back sex because she just wants to wait (or you sense she has an agenda), this means the wants you to become her boyfriend. In this case, you need to dump her. If a woman holds back sex because she wants you to commit, you need to leave her asap. The reason is because 1) she won't have sex with you unless you commit, 2) you do not want to commit on her terms, such relationships because a living hell (believe me, please I don't want anyone here to fall into that trap)

If she wants to have sex with you, but cannot right now for a good reason, then it is ok to give her a second chance. Good reasons can be:
- She iso n her periods
- She is actually tired (like how late is it..?)
- She feels bad
- Logistical issues (her friend came home, she has to get to work...)
- ETC

If she doesn't want to have sex because she is affraid of being judged (in form of ASD) then you can either leave her an not see her again, or you can break contact until she re-engages.

But most of the time, rely on your gut feeling. Ask yourself the question "does she actually deserve to see me again?" and no, just because she is hot doesn't make her worthy.

In cases you are willing to do multiple tries, I suggested you to follow my 3 attempt rules. If on the third meet up she still isn't having sex with you, she is out of your life.

But honestly, you are asking the wrong guy because I usually don't want to waste my time on difficult women. I never do dates. Women fuck me the same night, or they never see me again. I value my time and I don't want to waste my time on a girl with too many fucked up beliefs or who is just a difficult lady with an agenda. I move on, not worth my time. also I have getting blue balls (which tend to happen when you lay down with a girl and don't get any fun).

Hope this helps

Alek