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We've all seen him. The sweaty, leering dance floor guy
who circles,
stares and ultimately ends up herding girls towards guys who have the
deftness to come in and 'save' them.
Unfortunately this is how a lot of guys end up being perceived on the dance floor despite their best intentions otherwise. They think it's a good idea to try and get on the dance floor to meet girls, yet they wind up feeling like just another dude in the crowd.
But we're going to learn how to avoid being that guy.
I'm going to take a slightly different tack in this article than
Chase took in his piece on dance floor game; while his
focus there was mostly on why to get girls off the dance floor, I'll talk a
bit more here about what you can do on
it.
If you learn how to approach on the dance floor it can be one of the more fun and sexually charged places to meet women, which can often lead to some very steamy interactions.
There is a relatively large barrier to entry though... so let's cover that first.
Comments
Great article
Thanks for the write-up, I've made a couple of the mistakes that you mentioned in here and now I can focus on doing it right.
Mac
No worries Mac, Glad to have
No worries Mac,
Glad to have been of service.
Pete
Whoops
Nice article, but in typical four-to-the-floor dance / techno / pop stuff kick drum hits every beat (1,2,3,4) and snare hit (or a clap, or whatever) is typically on the 2nd and 4th beat ... Makes it a bit easier to identify the rhythm if you start counting from the right beat :-P
Yep. Thanks for the
Yep.
Thanks for the elucidation. Been a while since I got myself around a drum-kit.
Still, to the people reading you want to be looking for the 4/4 beat signature and the snare-hit (or clap, or whatever) as that's what you'll time your dancing to, whatever configuration it comes in.
Pete
Humbleness On The Dance floor
Hey Pete,
I'm a pretty good dancer (from what I've heard), and I was thinking that if you're a good dancer and the girl that you're approaching knows that you're a good dancer because she noticed you, and then joke to her that you're teaching her how to dance.. Wouldn't that violate the rule of being humble? Or shouldn't you take it that seriously or doesn't it really matter because you're joking?
Great article by the way! I also noticed that just pulling the girl to you to dance or twirl her works pretty good, but now that I've heard it from a more experienced guy I know it's true.
A tip for other people: If you're intermediate at fundamentals I recommend holding your hand out so she has to reach for it (That way she will be investing from the very beginning of the approach.) and then do the twirl and begin dancing.
Sincerely,
Pablo
from Holland
P.S. Sorry if my English was bad
Hi Pablo, I think your
Hi Pablo,
I think your suggestion for holding your hand out is a really good one as you start getting compliance from the word go.
In terms of the 'teaching her how to dance' thing being not humble enough, I think that it something that shouldn't be taken too seriously. It should be said lightly and you should move past it straight away into teaching her your dance moves.
Thanks for the response.
Pete
Puzzled
As a brazilian, this puzzles me a little. Here in Brazil people make out on dance floors at night clubs all the time. It is considered natural and not a big deal to kiss a total stranger you've just met (sometimes even when you haven't ''met'' the person at all). If you're 'good' enough you can easily in some sorts of venues and parties end up kissing more than 50 girls in one night! However, taking any one of those 50 girls to bed is a whole other story.
My point is given that our culture is so open to people kissing each other, if you approach a girl on the dance floor using these steps and you DON'T kiss her, she will be very disappointed because she expects you to 'man up' and kiss her, she'll even probably think that you somehow were joking with her, that you're just teasing her out of pure malice. She is having fun with her friends, she wants to party, and she wants to hook up. If you're taking too long to kiss her and do something, she will excuse herself and go back to her friends.
I understand the concept of not releasing the tension too soon in the interactioin but I'm afraid that in Brazil you are far more likely to send a girl into auto rejection doing this. How do I reconcile this concept?
sorry for my bad english
Carlos from Brazil
Oi Carlos, tudo bem? I've
Oi Carlos, tudo bem?
I've actually been to Brazil so I know what your talkin' about. The kissing culture in Brazil is insane, I can remember jumping off the plane and seeing people public kissing everywhere. Pretty funny.
Hmm... Brazilian dance-floors are kind of a special case because of what you speak of. Unfortunately I don't have the amounts of experience required to suggest a reeeally solid path forward here.
What I would do is get into the interaction with her and try what I suggested. Not kiss her to draw out the tension and otherwise keep it very sexual. Dance on each other and whatnot. Then pull her off the dancefloor for a chat. Be charming.
I think this may differentiate you from other guys. If she gives you any shit tests for not kissing her just laugh them off and maintain your frame. Then when you've done a bit of talking, ask her home.
I was able to bring a Brazilian girl home from a club without kissing. Though that was my only Brazilian dance-floor SNL so I don't have a large sample size to go from. The other I day2ed after meeting her in the club (we did kiss there). The other girls I was with in Brazil were other backpackers, so as I said I don't have a whole heap of experience with Brazilian girls.
Anyway, you'll have to field test this one yourself, though I think my recommendation could work quite well here. If it doesn't then test out different ideas you have to see what works.
Thanks
Pete
Question
"Lift her arm and put it over your shoulder so that's she leaning back on you while facing away from you"
I don't understand this, it sounds like a kinda awkward position. Could you elaborate?
Also:
"...if at any stage that charged vibe wanes, pulling off an in-venue dalliance gets markedly harder... or next to impossible."
When this feeling strikes, what's the best course of action? Is it just an indication to start moving faster and to be a little more pronounced?
Thanks
-Godsninja
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