Relationships | Page 8 | Girls Chase

Relationships

The continuing and ongoing encounters and involvement you maintain with a woman once you've slept together and become intimate -- whether weeks or months or years -- or more.

The Myth of "The One": Is There Really Just One Person Out There for You?

only one the one
The myth of only one The One out there for you comes from hormones and Hollywood. The truth is, there is more than one soul mate for you.

In my article on how women express interest, Bruhaha asked:

"Hey Chase, of recent I was in a heated debate with a religious friend of mine. He holds the view that there is only one girl for every guy in this world and vice versa. I argued that if that were the case, then every widower that remarries is doing a great injustice to the rest of his fellows. This is b'se he would be encroaching on other people's ones. And that the church should actually publicly denounce the holding of such ceremonies in order to be considerate to the rest of the population so that they can have a perfect shot at their ones also. That's when it struck me that you have never actually covered this issue before. I hope sometime to come, when you feel like it, it would really be cool to have your perspective on this issue. I would suggest you entitle it "Debunking the myth of the One", if you don't mind of course. Carpet diem!"

And he's right, I haven't addressed it on here, at least not in article form. I've discussed it a bit in comments over the years... but no standalone article on the subject.

So let's get one up.

Three things we should talk about with 'soul mates' and 'The One':

  1. Are there people you match better with than others?
  2. Is there only one truly perfect match?
  3. Are soul mates drawn toward each other?

All are interesting questions. We'll explore all today.

How to Build a Harem, Pt 5: Phases of Non-Monogamous Relationships

non-monogamous mltr relationship phases
Every relationship has its phases, but non-monogamous setups are often more challenging. Handle each phase well to help things go smoothly and make it last.

Welcome back to the Harem series. In this article, I will continue discussing how to date and manage relationships with many women in an implicitly non-monogamous arrangement. In Parts 3 and 4, we discussed how to compartmentalize your many relationships and structure your lifestyle to balance the number of girls you desire with what’s possible within the system. 

Let’s move on to discuss the life cycle of these relationships, as understanding how they evolve is key to affecting their outcome and longevity. After all, every relationship (even outside this system) has a specific life path. As a man, the dominant force in the relationship, you are in control of where it goes, based on the type of relationship you desire. It’s up to the girl to accept it, or reject it and find another man who wants what she wants.

As the leader in this dating structure, through the whole process, you’ll be guiding the path of these relationships, to protect the woman and create the best outcome for both of you. Ideally, you will structure the relationship so that she understands precisely what it is, how non-monogamy works, and whether it’s something she wants or not.

It’s also important to structure this in a way that makes it easy for her to say yes or no and increases the likelihood of her accepting the implicit non-monogamy model, regardless of her own previous experiences and desires. 

To set up the right path for this system, you must set the correct frames very early, so she understands exactly what it is you do and what she’s getting into. You’ll be conveying most of the information about the relationship through your behavior, not through words, although they will come into play. The life cycle of this relationship type is split into six different parts, and the woman needs to cross all the thresholds to ensure its longevity.

If your girl makes it through all these stages within the first six months or so, you can bet that she’ll be in your life for many years – for as long as you want her to be.

Is It Okay to Use Relationship Drama as a Man?

drama as a man
We men hate drama. But it has its uses. Women use it to test their men, but we can use it to put our foot down and demand respect without harming the relationship.

Men generally have a distaste for drama.

But women love it. They thrive on it. If it didn’t excite them, they wouldn’t create it so much – or at least not in the way they do. Their ambiguous behavior tangles us in a web of seduction and riles us up.

Women enjoy drama, but it also has a function. They use it to test your mettle and how much you care about them – or to express a problem within the relationship.

As men, the only time we should ever start drama is to express an issue we have. We have no need to test women with drama. It is an unnecessary step. We also have no need to test if women care about us – they will show us. We are not women. Unfortunately, many guys act like women in relationships. They start drama all the time and are gossips in their social lives, too.

In my experience, a man only needs to start drama when she crosses a line of respect with you or begins to turn into the kind of woman you no longer want to be with.

Let’s go through those two scenarios and how you should start drama in cases where it can be useful. We will aim for maximum effect and as little drama as necessary. As with everything, the law of least effort applies here. We do not like drama. If you must start it, you probably won’t enjoy it, so make it as simple as possible and easy to end quickly after it’s fulfilled its purpose.

2 Reasons Women Create Drama in Relationships (and How to Fix Things)

relationship drama end fights
Relationship insecurity and loss of respect are common culprits when women create drama. Here’s how to identify the root of the issue and nip it in the bud.

The drama is never done with your girlfriend. There will always be drama, regardless of whether you did anything to annoy her, anger her, or make her feel insecure.

If you’re running the relationship well, drama will be low. You run a relationship well by providing her with good dick and enough adventure to satisfy her. You maintain her respect by being a man with pride and self-respect and by making her feel secure that you won’t randomly leave her without due cause.

Of course, her personality and propensity for anxiety, depression, anger, jealousy, and other drama-causing emotions play a huge role in how often she starts drama. That’s why picking a girl carefully is paramount for a healthy long-term relationship.

Nevertheless, you will eventually do something to upset her or she’ll be upset about something in her life and it will make her over-sensitive to normally acceptable behavior – then she’ll take it out on you.

This is fine. Drama is good. Without drama, we’d get bored. My primary reactions to drama are annoyance or anger – but occasionally, I enjoy it. The ups and downs addict us. Plus, it’s fun to watch her get horny when you win an argument. It’s great when she was mad at you but she’s forgiven you for something – you may be a bastard, but you’re her bastard.

However, you need to know how to finish drama. And one tip that will save you a lot of frustration is this: drama isn’t usually over after one fight – or even one discussion.

If the drama was anything beyond a small misunderstanding, it might take two, three, or even more talks to settle the fire, and days could pass between each discussion. You’ll think everything is fine, that you solved the issue, but then a few days later, you’ll notice she’s in a mood, and you’ll ask yourself, “What did I do now?” You’ll wonder and wonder, then prod and prod, asking her what’s up. You’ll get the infamous “nothing” response. Then you keep nagging.

Yes, keep nagging. Don’t let her get away with answering “nothing” when it’s clearly something. That will show you to be insensitive to her emotions, which makes her feel like you don’t understand her. It’s your job as a boyfriend to take care of her emotions. You’re her lover and, in some ways, her father.

If a girlfriend won’t spit it out, I’ll say to her, “Okay, we’ll I’ve asked multiple times now and you won’t tell me what’s wrong. Later, if you tell me something was wrong, I’m going to be pissed. This is your chance.” Usually, she will tell me at this point. If she doesn’t and complains about something later, I’ll have morally righteous anger on my side, which is very powerful in drama.

“Woman, I told you…”

Works like a charm.

Once you find out what’s wrong, it’s time to deal with the problem. This is done in two steps.

How to Build a Harem, Pt.4: Tiers of Girlfriends and a Man’s Capacity

tiers of girlfriends
When your multiple-relationship lifestyle fills beyond capacity, one or more aspects will suffer. This advice will help you minimize heartbreak and stay on track.

Welcome back to the How to Build a Harem series, aimed at making you proficient in the art of dating several women long term.

  • In Part 1, we talked about Queen Theory and why all the girls you’re dating must always feel like your number-one girl.

  • In Part 2, we talked about some of the differences and issues between monogamous and non-monogamous dating structures.

  • In a supplement to the series, we talked about how to manage the inevitable jealousy that occurs in a harem and the role of discretion.

  • In Part 3, we talked about compartments and the role of precedence in how you treat the girls in your system.

In Part 4, we’re going to talk about the different tiers of girlfriends and how your lifestyle and capacity for girls work together. One of the most important things to understand about creating harems and dating multiple women is your own capacity to do so.

The whole point of the harem system is to be able to date the girls you like in a capacity which suits you, while also maintaining room to meet, sleep with, and date new girls when such opportunities arise. To do this, a man must structure his harem carefully.

Behavioral Shaping: Get Your Girl to Show You Only Her Best Side

behavioral shaping
Wouldn’t it be great if your partner behaved more to your liking? The Pygmalion Effect shows us how to shape the behavior of others in a subtle-yet-profound way.

This week, I’m taking a break from writing about polyamory. Reading my other articles is not a prerequisite to understanding anything in this one.

Though this article isn’t part of my Polyamory series, I’m writing it because I realized some people may be confused by what I wrote in my second article in the series, particularly about finding women with certain qualities. I want to clear up some misconceptions while giving you guys some tools to up your game even more.

What I failed to emphasize in that article was that I’m not just looking for women who already possess certain qualities. Sometimes, I’m also using real, psychological principles to shape their attitudes and behaviors to be more aligned with those qualities. In fact, none of the women I am currently dating identified as polyamorous before meeting me.

Essentially, I converted them, changing their attitudes little by little. In other words, if you want to be polyamorous, you’re not necessarily limited to a small dating pool of women who already identify as polyamorous or possess the qualities I told you to screen for. To an extent, you can “install” those qualities into beautiful women you’re already attracted to.

Many people will read my second Polyamory article and say “Those kinds of women are so rare! It would be so difficult to find those kinds of women in abundance – especially hot ones!” Well, think again. Many of you guys might bemoan that so many hot women you’ve met are selfish, inconsiderate, or otherwise the opposite of what you value in a partner’s personality, but this is just another obstacle you can overcome with the tools I’m about to hand you.

Polyamory, Pt.4: Case Studies of Unsuccessful Attempts

unsuccessful polyamory
All relationships come with obstacles. Inexperience, jealousy, and societal pressure – just to name a few – can make polyamory particularly challenging.

Last time, I gave you some examples of my successful attempts at building polyamorous relationships. As anyone who succeeds at anything knows, however, the failures strewn along the path toward success vastly outnumber the cases in which you see favorable outcomes. It's like what they say about pregnancy – everyone congratulates you if you get pregnant, but nobody knows how many times you got screwed. Though I hate how sex-negative that saying is, it still makes for a funny way to demonstrate the point effectively.

I can't possibly document all the failures I've had. Mostly, when things didn't work out, the women involved had explicitly stated that they couldn't imagine being in a polyamorous relationship and expressed significant resistance to the idea of it. Sure, there were times I tried to make things work anyway, but they pretty much never turned into healthy relationships. In such cases, it's best to simply move on or just keep it casual. I'll leave most of those cases out and focus on a select few.

Polyamory, Pt.3: How I Met My Poly-Partners

meeting poly-partners
Gotta catch ‘em all! But seriously, it does help to have the skills of a Pokémon master to nab girls into your poly-ball. Here’s how I added 4 to my collection.

In my last article, I talked about how you can identify women with a higher proclivity toward polyamory, so you can go out and start building that polyamorous lifestyle you’ve always wanted.

I should also add the disclaimer that you’ll want to get good at “game” before attempting this. It’s a common stereotype that polyamorous couples consist of a girl who sleeps around a lot and a guy who’s clocked up three thousand hours on Dark Souls.

If you’re a guy who has trouble meeting women while your partner has new dates lined up every weekend and you turn to any polyamorous community for advice, they’re probably going to tell you to focus on developing yourself and finding other hobbies.

Well, I’m here to tell you that you should focus on developing yourself and getting good at pickup. If you’re a seduction newbie, practice approaches. Put in the work. Get consistent results. If you’re a straight man, think of polyamory as the next level.

Polyamory, Pt.2: What to Look for in Potential Partners

potential poly-partners
Women who are open to polyamory are few and far between, especially in conservative environments. To find poly-partners, you need to look outside the box.

Let’s start right off with a disclaimer:

If you identify as conservative, you may find a lot of what I say in this article offensive. Bear in mind that I define “conservative” in a very specific way, and you may not have the same definition of it as I do.

In my last article, I talked about polyamory and one of my wonderful experiences within my polyamorous relationships. If that article piqued your interest and you’re interested in starting a polyamorous lifestyle, you probably have some questions. One of the most pressing questions you may have is:

“How can I find attractive, high-value women who would actually agree to being in a polyamorous relationship with me?”