Nevertheless, I have consistently made my opinion on the topic clear over the years: do not take your ex-girlfriend back. Just don’t do it.
People being what they are, of course, there’ve probably been many more men desperately putting the strategies I share in those articles to use than there are considering the reasons to NOT use them. What can I say… people hate that feeling of “losing stuff.” Ex-girlfriends included.
Commenting on my article about easing your own guilty conscience after you break a girl’s heart, reader yseult asks about what reasons there are to not take an ex-girlfriend back:
Could you write an article on the reasons not to get back with an ex-girlfriend?
I know you've written a lot on the subject already, usually emphasizing that there's always a better girl out there, so there's no need to get back the ex.
But could you explore the bad things that happen when you get back with an ex, other than limiting yourself from more beautiful women?
Like, if you get back together, is it as magical as it was?
How about if she's been with other men in between, does it affect how she perceives you? Does she submit as she used to?
I'm asking from a perspetive of a guy who's wonderful girlfriend broke up with him on the grounds that her mom will never accept a brown guy (kazkahs can be racist)
I agreed and moved on.
But now she contacted me again. She says she misses what we had, the guy she's seeing now is nothing compared to what we had. Basically, I was the best guy she's ever been with (and actually executed all of the points in your article quite naturally)
It was a blast to be with her. I do miss her.
But I also have a gut feeling it won't work.
yseult’s gut feeling is most likely right – it probably won’t work.
But gut feelings can be hard to listen to when powerful primal urges are dragging you back toward something your gut is telling you is best avoided.
To better arm you to listen to your gut – instead of your sex drive, scarcity, or loneliness – I’m going to lay out the nine (9) most important reasons to not take back an ex-girlfriend (or ex-wife, for that matter).