Relationships | Page 2 | Girls Chase

Relationships

The continuing and ongoing encounters and involvement you maintain with a woman once you've slept together and become intimate -- whether weeks or months or years -- or more.

Considerate Ultimatums for Romantic Relationships

considerate ultimatums
At times you'll hit an impasse with a long-term partner. You could breakup. You could submit to her desires. Or… you could give her an ultimatum, in a considerate way.

In relationship advice world, there is little more poorly regarded than the ultimatum.

Ultimatums are alternately floated as tools of heartless controllers, and of desperate weaklings clutching at straws. They are both tools of the too-strong and of the too-weak.

No healthy relationship could ever include such things, the experts say.

What the experts really mean is no equal relationship could contain such things.

What they rarely ever tell you is no relationship is ever 'equal'. There is always a party in the lead role -- it might be you, or it might be your gal.

The ultimatum, frankly, gets a bad rap.

While I agree you should compromise on what you reasonably can, there are indeed deal breaker issues you will encounter in every relationship.

And regardless what the experts say about compromise, sometimes compromise can't cut it. There simply is no compromise on some issues -- either things go how you want them to or they go how she does.

Perhaps you ought to just split up when that happens. Many couples do -- it's why the breakup rate and divorce rate are so sky high. Those who divorce their first spouses have an even higher chance of divorcing their second; and those who divorce their second a still higher chance of divorcing their third.

Perhaps there's another way to deal with deal breaker situations.

One in which you present an ultimatum, that is not a heartless ultimatum, but instead one where you get what you want, while trying your best to help her also get as close as possible to what she does too -- which often isn't always what she insists upon at first.

A Little Vulnerability Is Okay, but How Much Should You Reveal?

how to show vulnerability
Insecurity and vulnerability are not the same thing. Women run from insecurity but find a little vulnerability endearing. So how much should you show her?

As I discussed in my last article, anxiety is very bad for your endeavors with women. End of story!

Unfortunately, women perceive anxiety as a weakness, and often revealing the anxiety to women can cause them to lose all attraction for you. Now the key here is in revealing anxiety. Everyone feels anxious once in a while, some more than others. Sometimes anxiety is genetic, and it’s within a person’s persona to feel anxious periodically.

However, just because you feel anxiety doesn’t mean you have to reveal it to anyone. More importantly, even when women see you’re feeling anxious, it doesn’t mean you have to reveal the true source of your anxiety to them!

Notice I said when. Women are naturally super sensitive to a guy’s vibe; by instinct, women are fully sensitive to human vibes. Think of the bond and senses women have to take care of and raise babies, even before the age of technology, farming, and civilization. It’s important to note that women can transmute another human’s emotions. You can transfer a sexual state from yourself to a woman if you let her feel allowed and if she actively follows your lead and dominance!

If you feel anxiety in the presence of a woman, she’s going to feel it. If you’re prone to frequent anxiety, you’ll inevitably feel anxiety at some point with a woman. For some guys, it’s feeling anxious on the approach, and this can mess up their approach vibe every time! Some get nervous about the first date. And for other guys, it can be about what to do with her when they get her home. For the longest time, I struggled with last-minute resistance and got anxious in the moment right before sex.

No matter what, if you feel anxiety, you can bet that she’ll feel it, too.

The good news is that you can change the source of anxiety over time. What makes you anxious can go away with concerted effort and practice by putting yourself in front of the anxiety-inducing situation and succeeding over and over. This is sure to change your body’s perception of what was previously a threat. And I can attest that it works. Unlike before, these days, I get super excited and horny when I have a girl at home.

In the meantime, you need to figure out how to be vulnerable in the right way when your anxiety comes up.

How to Train Your Girlfriend: Long-Term Expectation Setting

how to train your girlfriend
How do you train your girlfriend into the kind of partner you need? The secret is in the expectations you set with her.

We've talked about the importance of establishing expectations before you even begin a relationship with a woman in the past before.

We've also talked about establishing precedent within your relationships, and why this is so vital.

Today I'll be giving you a tactic you can use within already existing relationships to 'train your girlfriend' by setting her expectations of a relationship with you for the long-term.

Once you're able to do this, you'll be able to avoid both minor and major speed bumps later on down the line in relationships that you'd otherwise crash into.

A Girl's Commitment Is Honest, but Not a Promise

commitment in relationships
The vast majority of relationships don’t last, though they begin with sincere commitments. Let’s take a look at why that is and your options for dealing with it.

A good friend of mine is experiencing a 7-year drop with his girlfriend after living together for many years, even supporting her as a performing artist in an expensive west coast city. My friend had discovered Girls Chase after struggling somewhat through high school and college. While he didn’t have it as bad as some, he still missed many opportunities with girls who were interested in him.

Soon after discovering Girls Chase and working out his system of cold approaching by night on weekends, he started to develop a decent pickup and close rate. Once guys find a working system AND good momentum, they generally have a quick period of extreme success and many wins all at once. Often, a guy’s attractiveness and vibe are SO high and SO good at this time, that girls WILL want to rope them into relationships.

My friend is quite careful and picky, though. He enjoyed being single and picking up women. Then one night, he met a REALLY attractive woman. Instead of picking her up that evening, she gave him her number and they went on several dates before having sex. This soon blossomed into a monogamous relationship that would last seven years.

As with most monogamous relationships, girls want increasing investment from a man from the first moment until the day things end, whether by choice, mutual consent, or death do they part. After being together several years, she moved in with him on the premise of wanting to be together forever. The couple also agreed that they didn’t want kids.

While my friend was in this relationship, he didn’t stop studying Girls Chase and other materials about women and relationships. With an extremely inquisitive and process-driven mind, he learned MORE about dating and pickup after getting into this relationship. However, he was prevented from using his knowledge for self-benefit; his relationship wouldn’t allow for it. My friend felt trapped. He wanted to date other women (at least for sexual satisfaction), but he couldn’t.

As with every relationship, women want more investment over time, so the pressure increased with my friend, especially at the 4–5 year mark. His girlfriend wanted to take their relationship to the next level, to formal marriage (that's what her friends were doing). She talked to several friends in open relationships and proposed opening her relationship with my friend to help increase the spark they felt with each other. As I noted, my friend already felt trapped, so he was on board with this idea.

This opened up room for his girlfriend to “explore” as well. Women and men mostly desire different things, of course. Men (even very emotional ones) are more driven by physical appearance, and women (even very practical ones) by emotional connection and social dynamics. My friend was allowed to have extra sexual partners but no emotionally involved relationships. His girlfriend was allowed to go on dates with men but not have sex with them.

This setup only stalled the underlying issue: forward progress in their relationship. Girls always want more than they have, and a relationship either keeps progressing through growth (usually led by the woman’s paradigm), or one gets trapped with the other (leading them to support or resent each other), or it ends.

This is how relationships transpire.

Coping with a Breakup (Without Breaking Down)

cope with a breakup
The longer you’ve been together, the harder it is to cope with a breakup. The key is to distract yourself until your emotions settle, and do things that move you forward.

Have you ever had to cope with a breakup?

Unless you’re a virgin, or you’ve never had a girlfriend, then you know that no matter which side you’re on, breaking up is never pleasant. At the worst, it’s highly traumatic; at best, it's an uncomfortable chore.

Even if you don’t really like the person that much, you probably liked them enough to have sex at least once. This means there’s a certain degree of trust and a shared experience (sex). If you’ve slept together many times, then emotional bonds exist, like it or not.

Even when a breakup is a good thing for you in the long term, the process still sucks donkey balls. Humans are wired to have empathy. If you see someone bleed, you feel yourself bleed; if you see someone laughing or crying, you laugh or cry with them. We feel what other people feel. These are mirror neurons at work.

Breakups hurt no matter what.

Relationship Communication: The Olive Rule

relationship communication
Fights and resentment in a relationship can resolve... but not without the right communication. The Olive Rule gives you the ultimate tool to bust relationship roadblocks.

Jesus of Nazareth taught his followers one Golden Rule by which to live their lives, if they wanted to live harmonious, heavenly lives: do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.

It is a rule that appears in many of the world's great religions.

The dhama of Hinduism and Buddhism instructs not to do to others that which you would not want done to you.

Confucius instructs that what you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.

Among the Yoruba, a Nigerian tribe, there is a proverb that says, "One who is going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts."

While the Golden Rule governs actions toward another individual, there is a Rule like this that governs relationship communication, too.

This rule permits those who follow it to have happier, healthier, less stressful, more productive, closer, better relationships.

It removes the worst obstacles out of the way of relationship happiness between any two people.

And it makes both parties of a relationship view each other with a far more caring, understanding light.

It is a rule I've taken to calling the Olive Rule, and following it will change how you run your relationships.

4 Things Long-Distance Relationships Need to Not Fail

long distance relationship
A long-distance relationship can work if it’s well-managed. Heed these four requirements and it could turn out to be the best relationship of your life.

My first ever serious relationship had a pretty standard beginning. But, as I was soon to go off to college, this relatively new relationship became a long-distance relationship. Trying to maintain it was a monumentally stupid decision for many reasons.

I had only just begun my journey into the world of dating. I also had not done such a good job creating a good precedent for the relationship. Many good things came out of the relationship, but so did many bad things. Like I say, pretty standard.

But a large part of my suffering resulted because I did not know how to have a healthy long-distance relationship.

It was not something of beauty that would one day blossom into something even more beautiful. It was a leash that spanned several hundred miles. After this relationship ended, I swore off long-distance relationships. Of course, I've since entered into a few more. As a result, I finally learned how to do them properly.

Yes, long-distance relationships can work, but I would not recommend them for the vast majority of men. But sometimes they just happen. You are traveling and meet a woman who absolutely blows your mind. She is a gem. An angel. And also your sexy little minx.

You must return home to real life (or she to hers), but she is worth the effort to keep. You see a future with her. If only a long-distance relationship could work!

Well, it can... IF these four necessities are met. Without them, a long-distance relationship will surely fail. But with them, you've got a fighting chance.

You Should Never Hook Up with an Ex

hooking up with an ex
You broke up with her for good reasons, but all of a sudden the prospect of hooking up with an ex is staring you right in the dick. Here’s why you should take a pass.

“Maybe you should head home. I think she wants to be alone tonight.”

I was in college at the time, and the girl telling me this was a high school friend. She didn’t know my ex-girlfriend that well and had only just found out about us at the party that night, and she was playing Mother Hen a bit too zealously.

It probably had something to do with her having had a crush on me back in high school.

I immediately saw through her BS.

I stood up, walked past her, and looked for my ex-girlfriend. I found her sitting on a bed in one of the bedrooms (at a friend’s house). As she saw me enter, she smiled and asked me how I was. A few minutes earlier, we were in one of the bathrooms fooling around, and some things were said, the gist being that I was not going to get back together with her.

Now she was telling me how I’d been leading her on, making her think we were going to get back together. I had no idea what she was talking about. I was utterly confused. Stupefied. How did I lead her along? We’ve just been having sex and occasionally hanging out.

It was a crucial moment in my life. I was about to learn how women link sex to love.

She explained to me that it wasn’t just about sex and hanging out. She still had feelings for me and felt that I must also have similar feelings for her, because why else would I continue to sleep with her?

To me, this again seemed strange. In truth, we slept together a few times after breaking up. We broke up a week after our anniversary because she had started some needless drama for the last time, and I told her I wanted to break up.

She quietly cried a little, and then we had sex — because she told me we could still be friends and have sex. So I naturally agreed. Duh. What I didn’t fully grasp was that this was her way of getting me back, and she expected it to work despite having just agreed we could still be friends and have sex. She was using pussy, jealousy, and sweetness to keep me lured in.

9 Ways to Be Romantic Without Being Cheesy

how to be romantic
We all know that trying too hard turns women off, but you still need to show her you care, right? How do you be romantic without going overboard?

It’s a hilarious irony that although romance is the most talked about subject in human history, how to be romantic is a largely misunderstood subject, by both men and women. Keeping a woman happy is a lot easier than the literature would have you believe.

This simplicity is your liberation from the idea of sacrifice as love.

Romance is a simple combination of:

  1. Her being appreciated and noticed

  2. Her being well sexed

She wants to be noticed for both her physical qualities and her personality. She wants to feel sexy and beautiful but also smart, courageous, funny, etc. If you show her and tell her, with earnest sincerity, she will feel these ways because of you.

That’s one half of romance.

She also wants to be desired sexually and ravished. There is no higher compliment to a woman than your hard dick enjoying itself inside of her. But men complicate this, usually in an attempt to not treat her like a sexual being, out of fear or “respect,” which is another cute irony.

The truth is, women want to be objectified sexually, even sometimes without romance. Or, in a serious relationship with romance, or at least moving in that direction, you then add appreciation for her personality to the base of your sexual desire. However, sexual desire is still the foundation and the way of expressing your love.

This is what separates the creepy guy at the bar objectifying her and her adoring, masculine lover, boyfriend, or husband. The creepy guy, or any guy she doesn’t see as dominant, is insulting her by desiring her sexually.

“How could this guy think he has a shot with me?”

Sure, a hundred loser guys liking her photo on Instagram will make her smile and feel validated, but it’s worth one-sixteenth of a sixteenth of a second of her lover’s appreciation for her.

And she has no problem with the sexual objectification, as I said, even if he’s a random HOT stranger. That’s because, for X or Y hot characteristic he has (fashion, charisma, tall, handsome, status, money, devil-may-care attitude, etc.), his sexual attraction is welcomed.

He’s “allowed” to objectify her because she ALSO positively objectifies him (I want to have sex with him, or “I want his babies”).

And this is romance.

It's a combination of appreciation and lust. The question that inevitably follows from any man who knows the nature of women is how to achieve a balance.

Jealous Women Can Be a Good Thing, If You're a Guy

jealous women
Jealous women aren’t always a bad thing, because there’s good jealousy and bad jealousy. The key is to understand the difference and make the good kind work for you.

My first girlfriend (let's call her Sarah) was this perky-breasted firecracker of a love muffin. I was 21, and she was 17 (legal in Canada). We were together for nearly three and a half tumultuous years. At the time I met her, I thought she was the most awesome girl ever. She was cute, smart, and into the same music as me (Indie/Punk). So we got on great, for about a year. Then, from her, I had my first lesson in jealous women.

When I think of jealous women, I think of two types of jealousy: good and bad. These two types have subcategories for inside and outside of a relationship.

Inside: A long-term monogamous relationship (LTR). This involves managing jealousy from your girlfriend or wife. Jealousy inside is mostly negative but can be used to re-establish waning attraction.

For example, you go to a party and have a conversation with an attractive woman. Your girlfriend becomes a little jealous. She knows she’s not your only option and you could get another girl if you broke up. So that night she makes sure to give you really hot sex, and that’s the extent of the consequences you'll face. This is good jealousy inside a relationship.

Or she could become an insanely jealous woman and light your apartment on fire because you smiled at your waitress. That is bad inside jealousy.

Outside: An impending, casual pickup, or non-monogamous relationship. This is dealing with jealousy from a girl who isn’t your girlfriend or wife.

For example, you approach a girl at the bar. She’s sort of interested but not enough to hook up with you. Then, because you’re talking to this attractive girl, another attractive girl notices and hovers near you (preselection). So you start talking to this second girl, which makes the first girl jealous. Now, when you return to her, she’s suddenly very interested in you.

However, if you’re doing really well with a girl and then you switch to another one, you might piss off the first girl, and that’s the end of your seduction. Pitting two jealous women against each other is a powerful tool, with a small chance of backfiring.

Good Jealousy: Used to either create attraction or increase it. It can be utilized both inside or outside of a relationship.

A good jealous woman is one who becomes more attracted to you because of the jealousy. It’s a signifier of your value to other women, which makes you more valuable in her eyes. It doesn’t make her crazy, violent, or depressed.

Bad Jealousy: Jealousy inside a relationship can turn toxic, destroying trust. Outside of it can lead to hurt feelings, and occasionally, violence. Bad jealousy is the cause of destroyed relationships, divorce, sometimes murder, and even suicide.