Men Style

Why do you never hear from what the Internet’s dubbed ‘alpha providers’ – men who keep the pants on in their relationships, even over the long-term?

The morose tales of men who have become ‘beta providers’, who have gone through the ‘betaization process’... men who’ve lost the drive, strength, and ambition of their youths and become punching bags for their women... these men’s tales are all over the Internet.

Yet, you hear nary a peep from their opposites, those men in provider roles who remain the captains of their ships.

Is it because they’re quiet?

Or, because they do not exist?

A commenter named Insidious Sid, weighing in on Alek’s post on sexual economics, remarks:

“This “lover turned provider” idea is the biggest load of blue-pill nonsense ever to hit the internet. Once she “has you”, no matter how alpha you were, you now have provider status. She “conquered” you, and now she will be sexually attracted to OTHER alpha males who she has yet to conquer. Women like conquest just as much as men do. Men get bored after they conquer the trophy wife and cheat on amazing looking women – and most men think “Wow, I’d never do that.” Well, he’ll never get the chance. Conversely, the female will cheat on even a high value male and people will gasp “But he’s such a high value male, why would she cheat on / divorce / ruin a good man?” Same reason. Once a person, man or woman, has a member of the opposite sex in the “co-committed long-tern relationship (tm)” this is a whole new power dynamic. One part of “red pill theory” I think has it wrong is that you can “game your own wife” and alpha-up and keep the other alphas out the door. It’s a great theory, but my theory is once she gets the ring on your finger and you sign up for the house, mortgage, the full meal family deal, you also sign up for divorce, alimony and child support. Guys, let’s be real. Decent, handsome and successful lawyers, doctors and athletes are going through the divorce and family law meat grinder just like regular men are, albeit likely in smaller numbers. The point is the institution of marriage and being a provider is a sour deal for a man of ANY status. He’s got more to lose than gain regardless of his position in the mating arena.

*REAL* Alphas have nothing to DO with ANY of that crap. They bed the top females and move on. They’re not there to pay, they’re there to play.

There is no such thing as an Alpha Provider. He’s the mythical creature all women want, and they know he *does not exist* so they try to convert Mr. Alpha into Mr. Alpha/Beta hybrid and what happens? She will ultimately fail. She will be the subject of many a rom com – the Cinderella trying to turn the successful handsome worry free aloof guy into the exact same man, but also loyal, sweet, caring... think a shirtless Matthew McConaughey... rocking a swaddled infant in the baby room he just painted. This is the fantasy of every woman alive. Alpha looks, money and prowess with the servitude and commitment and *caring* of the beta provider. This is mother nature’s cruel joke on women – letting them think in their hamster-driven minds that such a feat is possible.

Alpha males can become beta providers. Beta providers can stop *CARING* and *PROVIDING* for women/children, get in shape, get fashionable, get a better crib, get some game... but perhaps they are just physiologically wired to provide. Perhaps they will never *naturally* exude the kind of confidence a real natural-born Alpha does.

Interesting and well written article, but I think it’s got some major blue-pill philosophy in there, stuff that’s already been disproved in the field, so to speak.”

Another way of putting what Sid’s weighed in here with is like so:

You only have two (2) options-

1. Be the single bachelor forever, and forever bounce from girl-to-girl
   
2. Take a girl long-term and become a doormat
   

Sounds depressing. You’re either trapped perpetually in hedonism, which is fun until it gets stale a decade or so in (usually sooner), or... you’re somebody’s doormat.

Well, spoiler, I’m going to tell you that’s a whole lot of hooey... but so are the mainstream ideology of “the man’s REALLY in charge, even if the woman bosses him around a bit” and the pickup ideology of “you have to game your wife”.

Instead, I’m going to tell you about something else. Namely, being a legitimate alpha provider.

Comporting oneself well, removing tics, fidgets, and other nervous gestures, and giving oneself a general bearing of a man of breeding and distinction are some of the foundations of good fundamentals, no matter what identity you strive to embody.

One of the most powerful drives a man has – perhaps, arguably, the most powerful drive he has – is his sex drive.

Your sex drive is a complicated piece of physiological machinery. It’s partly controlled by your hormones (testosterone is its primary driver in men), though also partly controlled by, of all things, your social status and sexual experience (or at least, this is the case in rhesus macaques, not too far distant from us on the primate family tree).

Various things impact your testosterone and can lower it; a messy sleep cycle, certain diets, even emotionally supportive relationships can bring it down (so you may have to choose between a raging sex drive and fulfilling relationships). See my article on the winner effect if you want to read more about testosterone.

However, the male sex drive is good for more than just sex.

Your sex drive also powers your aggression, your ambition, and your motivation.

And the more you tap into and learn to channel it, to access the power of sexual transmutation, the more you can turn yourself into whatever man you aspire to be.

I got to say – I love spring and early autumn. This is the time when it’s really the easiest to look your best: guys with great physiques can still wear thin, tight jackets or coats over a tee to make sure they “put the goods on display”, while skinnier or chubbier guys can use colors and layers to visually compensate for what their physique is lacking.

Some time ago I created a guide to dressing sexy in summer. Today, I’d like to do the same for colder weather – whether that’s late autumn or winter.

In this article we’ll cover the basics of how to dress in colder weather and look attractive and then go into specifics on what to look for in upper body wear, trousers, outerwear, accessories, and shoes to stay warm AND look attractive doing that.

One thing that’s important to remember before we begin is that we all have different tolerances for heat and cold – for someone who’s used to 20-30+ C warmth most of the year, even going as low as 0-10 C can feel stressful and they will be pulling out their sweaters and warm jackets, while I’m sure that most of you seen the joke that Canadians and Scandinavians only stop sunbathing at -10 C (I really hope it’s only a joke…).

Now let’s get going.

In my article “Tactics Tuesdays: Calling Her When Texts Don’t Pan Out”, commenter AnonDude asked the following:

“I found that interesting and it would be great if you could write a post on different styles and goals of seduction, pros and cons of each, combinations of different styles and stuff like that.”

I thought this’d make for a fun article, so decided to write this one next.

Now, this might not necessarily be as practical an article, since, as you’ll see, you are what you are and you like what you like and you don’t have much, if any, conscious control over that.

Nevertheless, this may still be useful for you: we’ll be looking at what you want, why you do what you do, and what things you ought to be focused on (and what things not).

Let’s talk about what the 3 sorts of lady-killer are... and figure out which one you are.

My first “real” job was an entry level position in a contact center – I was one of a few dozen young people who sat in a large office floor taking calls. It was a thankless job but a fun experience overall.

You might be wondering – what does this have to do with first impressions?

You see, I was still rather inexperienced at the time, and after hearing stories from buddies in similar jobs/positions I figured that I might as well use this opportunity to meet women too.

Office romances... great idea right? Well, not really, but that’s another story.

Before my first day I went out shopping for clothes. Because this was my first job with a dress code (no jeans and stuff), I didn’t own anything remotely passable that wasn’t a suit, and this was by no means a job worth wearing a suit for.

Even though my dressing sexy skills were far from what they are today, I was already grasping the basic concepts:

• The clothes need to be cut close to the body to emphasize physique.
• I can subtly use colors to avoid looking boring.
• Showing some skin is a great way to spike sex appeal.
• Grooming matters.

The result,

I got myself slim cut grey dress pants, purple buttoned shirt, black dress shoes, and a black leather belt – solid, professional look. Because I had that ulterior motive of getting with my new sexy coworkers, I wore my buttoned shirt with an extra button open and had my medium length hair styled to something similar to this picture.

Given my agenda, I also tried to have a sexy walk going when passing the floor to get my coffee.

Considering that most other guys did the bare minimum just to pass the dress code requirements, I naturally stood out.

For the first week (or was it two weeks...) we, newbies, were trained separately and only passed the floor where everyone was working a couple of times a day to get coffee and have lunch.

By the end of the training a few funny things happened:

• Most guys who were working there already didn’t like me.

• Some of the female co-workers were already calling “dibs” on me (it was shared with me later in the job).

Both of these things happened despite me saying probably less than five words (“Good morning”, “Hi”) to people who were working there.

Unsurprisingly, by the end of my first week actually working there, a cute co-worker approached me during the break to ask for my number and later asked me out. And during my short time before getting promoted to another department there been a few other pleasurable encounters like that.

I’m sharing this to show you how truly powerful first impression and your image can be. Now, as I got wiser, I usually advise against office romances, but we can reap the benefits of the right first impression in nearly every social situation.

And with this article, I’d like to show you how you can use specifically clothes and grooming to achieve the first impression of a sexy man.

Darius Belejevas joins us today for the fifth installment of the Girls Chase Podcast. Darius is a regular contributor to GirlsChase.com on the subject of fashion and style (you can read his articles here), and today he weighs in with more on these and other topics.

In today’s podcast, Darius and host Varoon Raja discuss: