Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

The “I Have to Get Every Girl” Insecurity

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By: Chase Amante

get every girl
Ever feel bad because random girls don’t like you? This is the “I have to get every girl insecurity” – and it can lose you dates and lays.

Not so long ago, I was out with a girlfriend. I’d just left a café I was working at to meet her, waiting outside. When I got there, I greeted her, and then she pointed me to a girl next to her I hadn’t met before. “This is my friend,” she said.

I glanced at the friend, and she glanced at me, and I saw a half-second automatic expression of displeasure flash across her face, before she forced a smile and said hi. I said hello. And I laughed to myself.

The friend wasn’t particularly attractive (she wasn’t ugly; just ordinary). The reaction could’ve been because she didn’t like my look / something about me, or it could’ve been because I accidentally (instinctively) checked her out quickly upon turning toward her (and she didn’t like my look / something about me). I can’t really help it, it’s just an automatic thing, and it excites girls who like me but turns off the ones who don’t.

Either way, once I excused myself to use the toilet, but before I returned, I thought about this interaction, and realized that while this did not bother me now, four or five years ago I’d have taken it personal and felt hurt. And I thought back and realized I’ve seen plenty of this (girl flashes me a look of distaste; I find it amusing), and it hasn’t bothered me in a good long while.

A girl was rejecting me – right? That’s a negative judgment.

But I got a kick out of it. So what’s changed?

Take Her Side in Interpersonal Conflicts

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By: Chase Amante

take her side
You’ve met a girl and it’s going great. But suddenly, she winds up in a conflict with somebody else. What do you do and how do you behave?

I apologize for the title. I couldn’t think of any way to word it that didn’t sound like some kind of feminist “men need to step up and be supporters of women” piece. It may start off sounding like it’s going to be one of those articles, but bear with me, because you’ll quickly see it isn’t. This is a tactical piece designed to help you put more girls in your bed.

So, what do you do when a girl you’re trying to pick up, date, or sleep with lands herself into an interpersonal conflict?

This is a simple post, but it has the potential to raise some hackles. It shouldn’t though. Let me address those hackles right off the bat:

  • We’re not talking about agreeing with her on political/etc. issues

  • We’re not talking about you pedestalizing her or thinking she’s always right

  • And I will not tell you to not disagree with her (disagreeing can actually boost attraction!)

Instead, what this article is about is the emotional element involved in any kind of interpersonal conflict between her and another group. This will be the case whether actual (there, in the moment; e.g., her versus some snippy chick) or related (a story she tells you about something that happened).

You need to take her side.

If you’re a guy who likes to stay balanced and not get involved in other people’s drama, you will tend to not do this, and instead be the ‘voice of reason’.

But the game of seduction is about you and her, united. If you try being the voice of reason while you’re also trying to get her in bed, most of the time you’re going to shoot your own darn foot off.

16 Ways Sales and Dating Overlap (and 11 Ways They Don’t)

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By: Chase Amante

sales and dating
Sales has a lot in common with dating. If you know one field, it helps you do well in the other. Where do the two fields overlap the most? 16 key places.

In my article “The Beginning is the Hardest Part”, commenter Carver Montana requests an article on where sales and seduction overlap:

“Hey Chase,

Thanks for another great article!

As I was reading the start of it, I got to thinking... I’ve seen you mention your experience in sales a number of times throughout your articles. From what I can gather, it was one of the things that helped you in various ways to ultimately become better with women.

Now, normally when you write about your sales experience, you seem to relate it pick up more or less indirectly. For example, you tell a story about how you went from being looked down upon by your co-workers to eventually gaining their respect, and then you relate that to an article about rising through the social ranks and so on. But I am curious as to why I’ve never seen you write about how sales pertain more directly to pick up.

I know a bit about sales myself (I’m an online marketer) and I know that there is a lot of overlap between the psychology of sales and that of pick up. No doubt you’re keenly aware of this. Hell, I even see you using common sales terminology, such as “closing” and “buying temperature.”

I feel like an article on the similarities between sales and pick up could be a good read. It would be nice to see on the site, if you think it would be appropriate ;)”

Carver is right – I’ve referenced sales repeatedly throughout my writing. Some articles on here directly pull from my sales experience. Much of the terminology in the pickup / seduction world comes from sales terminology as well (though I should that terminology was already in place when I discovered pickup). And I do toss in sales anecdotes and sales analogies pretty often.

So, what exactly is the overlap between seduction and sales? Is there a perfect analogy between the two, or are there places the two don’t connect as well?

Let’s give you some tools to better compare the two. Along the way, if you’re familiar with sales you might find a few extra tools you can apply in your courtships that perhaps you haven’t applied already. And if you’re not familiar with sales, but you are familiar with seduction, you may just find sales less alien territory for you than you might think.

Tactics Tuesdays: Time Management on Dates and in Pickups

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By: Chase Amante

time management on a date
You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or train and have a nice little chat, but before you could take her number, she stood up and said, “This is my stop,” and suddenly rushed out the door?

Or you took a girl on a date, with things going swell, only for you to try to take her home but find out she had somewhere she had to be in 45 minutes?

How you manage your time on your dates and in courtships, conversations, and pickups is key. You already know how crucial it is to move faster, hit escalation windows, and get the girl before attraction expires. But at the micro level, you must be able to manage the details of time management, too.

There are two parts of that battle:

  1. The knowledge of how much time you have with her
  2. The strategy around how best to use that time

The stronger you are on each aspect of courtship time management, the more success your courtships will bring you.

Is It Ever Okay to Date a Feminist?

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By: Chase Amante

date a feminist
Feminism has fast become a dominant ideology. When so many of the girls you meet have feminist leanings, should you ever actually date a feminist?

One of the more unusual phenomena we see in the West right now is that in many cases, men and women operate under divergent belief systems.

It’s quite odd, when you think about it. Most places, at most points in history, men and women operate under the same belief system, and agree on the same tenets. Usually that belief system is a religion, like Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or Shinto.

But in the absence of religion, other causes come to fill this space by inspiring a new form of religious belief or fervor. Any time something has an -ism attached to its name, it stands a reasonable chance of coming to occupy religious-level importance to people.

One such example is feminism.

Feminism has reached a degree in the West where non-believers are immediately ‘othered’ by the more hardcore adherents of the philosophy. It has its own truths, like the wage-gap and ‘rape culture’, that are immune to facts and statistics and have moved beyond scientific falsifiability. And it engenders a particularly combative relationship between the sexes.

The purpose of this site is not to either support or combat feminism; feminism comes and goes through history, and is a perpetual feature of advanced, wealthy, safe societies. The purpose of this site is to give you useful tools to make better life decisions.

And the one we’ll talk about today is this: should you ever date a girl who subscribes to feminism... or any other -ism diametrically opposed to your own beliefs?

Having Sex is Supposed to be Easy

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By: Chase Amante

sex is easy
You’ve no doubt heard it before: “It’s instinct.” So why does it seem like it’s so hard to meet girls and have sex in the world of today?

Yesterday in “How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts””, I mentioned I intended to get an article up titled this. So here it is.

Sex isn’t supposed to be hard. It’s supposed to be easy. And it makes sense, right? The fact that you’re alive right now means every single one of your male ancestors stretching back a billion or so years got not just laid, but managed to knock up at least one chick once, and quite possibly knocked up one chick multiple times, or even multiple chicks multiple times.

It’s easy for men to stress out about sex. If you’re young and inexperienced, you might feel the fear grip you as you imagine becoming a 30-year-old male virgin, still sitting alone in his room playing video games and watching anime, lost in fantasies about fictional characters. If you’re a recent divorcé, you may look at all your nimble competitors in the fast-moving dating world of today and wonder if you’ll ever be as sharp as they are, and if any woman will want you again.

Why does sex seem so difficult to get for so many men? Is it a society-level problem, is it a problem of the women, is it a problem of competition, or is it a problem of men themselves?

I want to dig into that a little bit, and also give you a bit of different perspective you may not have considered before on how fear and instinct play into things here.

How to Take Girls Off Their “Scripts”

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By: Chase Amante

girl off dating script
If a girl wants to hook up, and you do, that’s easy (well, easier). But what if she doesn’t want to hook up – how do you get her then?

I’m a fan of taking girls “off script.” It makes the courtship more personal and more rewarding for me.

If you want to know what this means, here’s all I mean by a script: every girl has a certain thing she’s on the lookout for at any given time.

For instance, her script may be:

  • I want to find a boyfriend
  • I want to find a husband
  • I want to find a guy to hook up with
  • I just want to make a new guy friend
  • I don’t want to meet anybody right now

Most of the time on Girls Chase, the other writers and I suggest you look for girls who are on the lookout for what you’re looking for. So if you want to hook up, you look for girls who are down for that. If you want a new girlfriend, you’ll have an easier time of it with a girl who’s gunning hard for a boyfriend, much of the time.

This makes life easier, and it’s a surer path to you and the girl you want together in bed or in a relationship.

However, it’s also possible to take a girl off her script and provide her with a different kind of experience. If you don’t enjoy the process of seduction and you just want a girl who wants what you want as fast as possible with as little work as possible, this article won’t be of interest to you (and you’ll want to focus on looking for girls who are looking for you).

If you’re a beginner, I recommend you get good at teasing out signs of interest and approach invitations from girls, and not worry about trying to get girls who aren’t that interested in you until you’ve got more experience (and lays and girlfriends) under your belt.

Yet if the idea of taking a girl who wants a boyfriend and hooking up with her fast, or taking a girl who just wants to hook up or doesn’t want to meet anybody and pulling her into a passionate new relationship with you intrigues you at all, then read on.

Loser Mentality, or Why You Can’t Identify with Winners

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By: Chase Amante

loser mentality

The Unicorn Hunter

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By: Chase Amante

unicorn hunter
Perfect 10s, unicorns, what have you – do they even exist? In particular, we look at American girls, and if you can still find a good one.

There’s a special kind of girl out there.

This kind of girl is perfect.

During the Pick Up Artist Era, she was known as the Perfect 10.

Debates raged across the PUA world as to whether ‘perfect 10s’ even really existed. Did they? Some men claimed 10s walked the Earth and were attainable. Other men claimed there were no such things as 10s. 7s, 8s, 9s, okay. But 10s? Perish the thought.

Now, in the Manosphere Era, they call such a girl the Unicorn.

In the Manosphere, now, we see the same debate rage as previously raged among the PUAs: do unicorns exist? Are they obtainable? Or are they but a figment of man’s imagination: the ideal woman, dreamed up yet unrealized? The female human analogue to Plato’s perfect forms, perhaps.

To answer this question of whether these ‘unicorns’ exist and whether they are obtainable, though, first we need to figure out exactly how we’re defining them, and agree on a definition... Because every man defines these ‘perfect girls’ a little bit different.

And before we do that, we should talk about why we’re even talking about unicorns in the first place.

Tactics Tuesday: The “Help Run Some Errands” Date

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By: Chase Amante

errand date
If you’re a busy guy, one of the best productivity hacks out there is to invite girls along with you on errands you otherwise have to run.

I know, how unromantic, right?

Well, not every date is about sweeping her off her feet and being her Prince Charming.

Sometimes, all it’s about is building the most effective path toward getting her into bed with you with as little muss and fuss as possible.

After all, you can charm her all you like once you and her are bedfellows.

Enter the errand date: where a large part of the date is structured around her helping you run some errands you have to run.

This is a super fun date, for a number of reasons... Not the least of which is that it builds in tons of compliance automatically, immediately positions you as the leader, and keeps the two of you moving, which leads to lots of shared experiences in a short amount of time... The very formula of a structured date, one of our three date templates.

But how are you going to get a girl to come run errands with you? And won’t she feel insulted? Or think you’re wasting her time?