Articles by Author: All | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: All

The 5 Ways to Answer a Challenge in Social Situations

Chase Amante's picture

In Sunday's article on how to be smooth, Walls made the following comment:

I truly appreciate all the work you do breaking this down, Chase. It would be so easy to just own this info you learned from years of trial and error and just monopolize it. I was thinking about smoothness in conflict due to this life-changing post and it got me thinking: when do you let comments/threats/faux paus/annoyances roll down your back, and when do you actually put opposers in their place? And what is the best way to ignore when people make fauxpas, such as the ones in your article "Faux Pas of the Social Neveaux." (maybe more faux pas listed too?)

He's talking about two things here, but the two are in many ways one and the same:

  1. When someone is standing in opposition to you, accusing you, or insulting you

  2. When someone is making social mistakes around you and creating awkward or disadvantageous situations for you

That is, in other words, when someone is making things challenging for you. And he is asking the question "How do you answer a challenge?"

answer a challenge

It's a good question, because it has an answer that can go a variety of ways. Do you remain unreactive to it - and potentially let the challenge eat your chances alive? Or do you challenge your challenger back, and potentially lose your cool - and the girl you were most interested in?

This is a question without a readily apparent simple answer... and sometimes those are the questions we like most on this site. How do you answer a challenge, anyway?

Carnival of Dating Advice, 12th Edition

Chase Amante's picture

carnival of dating advice

Welcome once again, to this, the 12th Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. Featuring articles on pickup, seduction, relationships, self-improvement, and more, we seek to bring you some of the best of the Internet every two weeks, and this week is no exception.

This week's articles include two on break ups and exes, two on managing your internals, and one on falling in love - essentially covering the entire range of relationships, from approaching to getting into a relationship to getting out of it and staying out of it. This week's carnival might almost be considered a short-and-sweet Relationship 101 (with a little self-improvement thrown in for flavor).

And with that said, on with the carnival...

How to Be Smooth with Girls Every Time

Chase Amante's picture

About 3 weeks ago on the post announcing the site's new forum, a reader named "D" asked about escalating things with women, being seductive, and cool – essentially, how to be smooth.

how to be smooth

Here's the gist of D's comment:

Brother, I can initiate with no problems and create that instant attraction. But I seem to hit a wall at some point shortly after. I tend to have difficulty escalating to physicality. Granted I'm not very experienced in my endeavors but have been reading, studying, and trying to better myself; both in my body language and self image.

I need to know how to ignite the spark that I create and squirt a little gas on it.

I can create an opener from nothing and sometimes get 1 or 2 dates. Then something goes south. I try to be funny and witty, which works with openers, but I need to flip the switch to escalation and being SMOOTH to seal the deal! I feel like I have read almost everything out there so please my brother, let me know if you have any advice. I appreciate all that you've done and anything you can do to help me. Thank you!

And just a week ago, another commenter, xChaser, this time on the post about anxiety in men, asked about something very similar, saying:

Hi Chase,

I again want to let you know you blog is impacting lot of guys lives. I have improved a lot from implementing what's discussed here. I have one request on a topic that pretty much helps the new guys not end up wasting lot of time.

Basically what I noticed is as we gain in knowledge, we get more succesful at dealing with girls, but after moving quite forward in the interaction sometimes [after] a small mistake the girl drops you like a ball, never to recover.

Could you cover a topic around this major critical point where you up the ante and at least during initial days avoid those traps rather getting dropped flat after spending so much time on the girl.

I guess you got my point.

Thanks in advance,
xChaser

Both commenters are asking about something I call "transition points" – those moments in an interaction with a woman where it's time for you to take things to the next level... if you can only figure out how.

Most guys can't, and drop the ball, as xChaser put it.

But what if you didn't drop the ball?

What if you could handle transition points like a pro every time?

What I'm asking is... what if you knew how to be smooth?

Because that's what I'm going to teach you to be today.

Weight Loss for Men: 23 Tips to Blow Your Mind

Eric Reeves's picture

weight loss for menNote from Chase: this is our second article from Eric, who wrote last week's fantastic piece "Making Your Seductions EFFICIENT;" his article  this time around is on weight loss. I've shed some pounds myself, mainly by tracking every last calorie I ate and cutting caloric intakes and portion sizes, but Eric's got far more info on this subject than I've ever come across in one place, and he's pared himself down from a pretty substantial body weight, too. Second article straight Eric's mustered up some roundly impressive stuff. Without further ado, here he is.


As I’m laying here writing this article I’m really feeling one main thing: elation. I really love my life right now. The french use a phrase to describe this ethereal feeling; they call it joie de vivre (zhwä duh veev-ruh), and there’s really only a few things that make me feel this way:

  • Women,
  • Self-growth,
  • Diet, and
  • Exercise.

I didn’t used to be this way... in fact I used to be quite overweight. And I don’t mean just a little extra here or there, I genuinely was fat. My body mass index (BMI) was close to obese (28.5) and I hadn’t exercised in 2-3 years.

I just sat on my butt every day and played video games, eating potato chips and drinking sprite all day long.

What little social life I had was gone, or took place over the Internet. My life went to shit, and while I wasn’t necessarily depressed... I certainly wasn’t happy.

So one day, I decided to change.

Today’s article is all about weight loss for men, and how you can shave all the extra pounds you’re carrying around off (not just a few of them), whether it’s a lot (like me before) or even just a little too much around your waistline.

Because today, I want to tell you how I went from almost-obese to mean, lean, and trim instead, and why today I get women telling me how great my body is.

Threats and Opportunities: The Difference These Make in Seduction

Chase Amante's picture

We've talked a bit on here about threats and opportunities in the past already, but I wanted to take some time today and really dive into the differences between these two mentalities and how they affect your success in pickup, dating, seduction, and relationships, because they're of great importance.

threats and opportunities

On the article about anxiety in men, JFav comments:

Hey chase! After reading thru a lot of these comments one theme I think keeps reoccurring is the guys who have improved have all embraced one thing. And I believe one of the many things you and some other guys have embraced is your "inexperience." More specifically you guys embrace mistakes not as bad things but as learning tools. I could almost see some of you doing things you KNOW were "wrong" just to CHECK if it could be right.

I've gotten that sense from a lot of your post Chase because I know you are a guy that likes to decode and really get to the core of things. So, I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on my epiphany moment that "mistakes are just learning experiences."

I'd love to see a post where you talk about the time when you were learning pick up and seduction and how you questioned things asking yourself "could this really work" or "there's NO WAY that could work" And I'd love to hear some stories about how you said "F it I'm gonna try it anyways just in case he could be right"

At the core of J's realization here is the opportunity he'd been missing in situations with women before, when he'd been blinded by the threat present in those situations. As he notes, I went through a similar transformation in my approach to women and dating, as have every guy who's reached a point where he's broken through to the site where learning is fun and no longer scary.

How do you break through, defeat timidity and apprehension, and free yourself from the feeling of "threats?" It's partly experience and exposure... but it's also partly something else.

20 Ways to Talk to Women and Make It AMAZING

Chase Amante's picture

Lately we've had a number of readers asking about more ways to talk to women and keep the conversation going. Here's JFav, answering the question of what he'd like to see in the new forum's bonus book:

Love to see something on keeping the conversation going. Some strategies a newbie could possibly use to deep dive.

Wanting to know more about conversation, particularly for newer guys.

talk to women

And on the recent article about how to pick up girls shopping, Maxz commented:

Hey Chase, another rocking article.

Question for you man, I have been having problems on the conversational aspect of the game lately. When you talk about deep diving and all, is it all about asking girls qestions about themselves? I can't seem to truly crack this nut. Some of the girls I have talked to lately, we usually just end up in strange silences at some point in the conversation. What kind of easy probing questions will you suggest to carry on these conversations?

Thanks Chase, love every single lessons on here.

I referred Maxz to a few articles to help him get his bearings, but I realize that a lot of guys need a more basic layout of how to talk to women properly than is laid out in the article on deep diving or being a conversationalist.

So, today's article has been put together to be exactly that: talking to women for beginners (with a few neat tips thrown in here and there to spice things up for the old pros), broken down into four lessons with five points each - a total of 20 ways to talk to women and make it go swimmingly.

Let's dive in.

How to Pick Up Girls Shopping for Gifts or Groceries

Chase Amante's picture

pick up girls shoppingIt's the holiday season, and that means one thing: time to pick up girls out shopping!

If you don't have much experience picking up women who are out shopping for shoes or shellfish, you might think this is rather hard... I mean, walking up to some girl in the middle of a well-lit store and just... hitting on her? Isn't that obvious?

Actually, there are a number of more-or-less smooth ways of going about running pickups in shopping areas, whether malls or shops or grocery stores. A bit of a sense of humor and a good handle on indirect game helps; while you can use direct openers out shopping, they often come off a bit too strong.

Mostly, what you'll be focused on creating in a shopping environment is a feeling of fate, fortune, or destiny... you and the girl met because you simply had to meet. It was written in the stars.

Today, we'll talk about how you go about creating that feeling, and help you bring some holiday cheer into the lives of some beautiful, lonely women out in the wide world.

Making Your Seductions EFFICIENT

Eric Reeves's picture

efficient seductionNote from Chase: Eric is one of the members of the new Girls Chase forum who showed up on the scene with a bang. Offering sage advice to many of the beginner and intermediate-level members, he's quickly demonstrated both an intuitive grasp of a lot of the more advanced concepts in seduction, and a solid and developing ability to break down those concepts into understandable chunks. He asked me if I might be interested in letting him write a few things for the site - I told him I'd be honored. Here's Eric, with his debut article.


In case you aren't quite acquainted with me, I'm a frequent member of the site as well as on the new forum (which is doing quite well - we have a great community thus far). You've probably seen me replying to posts on the blog here in the comments section as "Anon."

Earlier this week I went through a few questions on our forums, and I stumbled across one in particular from a student of the game. I was about to go more in-depth, but I realized to properly explain it, it was going to take a proper write-up, and I thought the answer I had to give would benefit a lot more guys than just whoever reads that forum post.

I wanted to put it on the blog.

I briefly explained the concept a little on the forums, in a response that focused on getting your conversation into "automatic," and the reception was, essentially, this:

Wow, the insights here are incredible. All the things you said, just these behavioral changes seem so simple, but I can see it working. Is there a certain guide to doing just that? How to make normal conversation or “autopilot” conversation be able to turn on a girl?

I sent a message to Chase wondering if I should write some stuff up, if that'd be something he'd be open to and something he'd have, and he gave me the go ahead.

Thus, this post - on the other side of effort: efficiency in seduction.

Anxiety in Men: Where It Comes From and How to Stop It

Chase Amante's picture

There've been a handful of commenters recently asking about an article on anxiety in men, including this one, the first of these more recent requests:

Hi Chase,

A slight digression from the post, hope you can add your two cents to this. You mentioned avoid being the guy who's "racked with anxiety". Throughout most of my life, I have been plagued with anxiety. My mother suffers from anxiety and I believe it has significantly influenced my development. In high school, though I was part of the cool crowd, i knew at the very core, I was extremely uncomfortable around other people. To hide my weakness, I would put on a facade that consisted of being a loud, obnoxious, "bad-ass" person.

I have matured from this and instead of living through a mask, i want to tackle my anxiety head-on. My belief is that, just like anything, gradual exposure will ultimately desensitize. I have been forcing myself to approach strangers and make conversations on a daily basis with this belief in mind. It's been a difficult journey though. Correct me if I'm wrong but through reading your ebook and blog posts, I take it you've gone through a phase of social anxiety/general anxiety yourself as well. If you could be so kind to share with me how you tackled your social anxiety, specific "exercises" that you found extremely helpful, anything you think is worth mentioning, it would truly be a boon to my development.

Many thanks,
Jack

Jack, sure, I can go through this a bit. It's a little off topic from what we normally talk about, but I think it ties in well to being more successful with women and dating, so let's have a look.

anxiety in men

This'll be a more personal post for me, similar to the one on how to overcome depression, simply because it's one I've had a lot of experience with and spent a long time stuck in. Anxiety and depression are quite often part-and-parcel to one another, so you might even think of this as the sequel to that post: defeating anxiety.

Why Chasing Women Doesn’t Work and Why Persistence Does

Chase Amante's picture

We've had a few questions on here lately about the difference between chasing women vs. persisting with women. A few weeks back William B. raised the point when I asked for ideas on what the new forum's bonus book should be on:

I'd like to see something fleshing out the nuances between chasing and persistence.

And more recently, a commenter on the article on how to find the woman you want asked:

I guess what i want to know is how does all this play in with not chasing her...if you leave enough time between your proposals it doesn't count as chasing?

I've seen a few other people ask about it on other articles as well.

What's the difference between chasing women and persisting with them, anyway? Aren't they one and the same?

chasing women

Actually, the two are VERY different - and women are right for desiring persistent men to a point... and fleeing from men who chase after that point.

Let's have a look at why that is, and how you can better walk the line between chasing and persistence.