Stranger Sex vs. Relationship Sex: A Sex Talk Gambit

Sex with strangers is different from sex within relationships. The distinction isn’t just academic – it’s useful fuel for a seduction, too.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I want to share my perspective on a gambit that has brought me much success.

In mid-2023, veteran poster Tominho on skilledseducer.com shared a sex talk gambit called “Strangers versus Lovers.” This concept highlights the differences between sexual experiences in a relationship and those with a stranger. His take differs from mine, so if you like what you read below, check out his version as well.

I like this gambit because it accomplishes many things, ranging from the obvious: setting a sexual frame.

This gambit also accomplishes these:

• Connects with her pacing – You show that you understand her point of view regarding sex. (Most women share the point of view presented in this gambit.)

• Creates comfort – As you discuss comfort, her comfort increases. (I think my version emphasizes comfort more than Tominho’s, which focuses more on arousal by emphasizing the magic of having sex with a mysterious stranger.)

• Stimulates her – Tominho’s version emphasizes arousal more, but one can spice up the version I present here, and I do that often, too.

More importantly:

• Sexual prizing occurs – As you share knowledge about sexual subjects (linked to pacing).

• You increase frame control – This gambit is great at flipping the script and reframing objections women have about casual sex and why they tend to prefer sex in relationships.

Next, I’ll run through the gambit. This gambit is safe to use and suitable for the early game (but also works great in mid-to-late-game). I will also discuss Tominho’s version, which works better as a mid-to-late-game gambit.