Picking Up Girls: Take Her Number or Take Her Home?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I’ll cover a rarely discussed subject: when to go for numbers or try to seal the deal right there and then. Next week, I will discuss whether you should try to have sex with her that night or try to see her another time. Maybe she is at your place, and you could try to have sex with her, but some resistance is in the air. So when should you “give up” and go for another date?

The goal is to decrease potential pitfalls and increase your chances of sealing the deal, improving your consistency.

I am not going to lie. Whether you should go for it that night and when you should play it more calmly and opt for a day two can be hard to tell as a beginner or even as an intermediate.

I hope this post will help you with these assessments.

 

Instant Pull or Number Closing?

Going for the instant pull is almost ALWAYS preferable. If you are unsure whether you should go for it or not, the best choice is generally to go for it.

Why? Let’s face it. Dealing with texting, setting up dates, and flakes are annoying. From years in this community, I know that flaking and girls who do not respond to texts are major headaches. It’s why Chase has dedicated manyarticles and books on this subject. Yes, you can partly fix the problem and reduce the chances of flakes. And hell yes, you should work on that part of your game.

The truth is, it remains a part of the game where you have the least control. You are not there next to her. Her context and mood are unknown to you. You have no means to calibrate properly and provide short and superficial messages which will have little effect on her and her compliance level. (However, you can become a better texter. It should not be an excuse to not get better at it.)

You may phone her and have more fluidity and display the power of your voice and the anchors it may trigger, but many girls hesitate to pick up phone calls. Phoning is something only grandma and mom do. If she does pick up, the impact of a phone call is minimal compared to the power you bring in person.

Generally, if doable, it is almost always better to ride the wave of emotion and get carried away by the moment and go for the instant pull. She is in the right mood; the vibe is right. Capitalize on this.

Taking her number and opting for a day two opens a can of worms of potential future trouble. She may be amazing in person but horrible over text.

 

When Should You Take the Number?

Take her number when the logistics don’t allow for a pull. That is the only moment going for the number is more legit.

Say she is out in a club with her friend and she has to go home because she has an appointment the next morning. Chances are she won’t go home with you that night. It is still doable, but the chances are low.

Or say you meet her during daygame, and she is on her way to a job interview. It’s unlikely to have an instant date with her (which could translate into an instant pull).

You get the idea.

This is why I believe it is important to screen for logistics. Know what she is up to, where she is going, or what she is up to later. Maybe you bump into a girl in a club about to leave. Go for the number.

In daygame, chances are much higher that you will have to rely on taking numbers since women usually go out for a specific reason, often on their way somewhere.

But numbers from daygame tend to be more solid than nightgame. So this makes up for it. If she is free and the logistics allow, it’s always better to for the instant date and try to pull the same day.

However, same day or night pulls are more likely in nightgame because it is more acceptable at night, and the logistics are better.

And since the numbers in nightgame are shakier than daygame, it is even more important to opt for same night lays.

 

Backups

You should go for numbers whenever you meet a girl you are unsure about, and she is not the prime target of your outing. You have another lead you would like to commit to and try to pull. The other girls you do not opt for are good “number-closing” targets.

Note that even though you may have taken a number, nothing hinders you from making her your prime target later if your initial target is unavailable, left, or turned out to be a bitch.

This applies in daygame when you meet a girl you feel isn’t quite there yet, and think you will meet better girls later. They count as backups, too.

Taking a number is favored in nightgame when you intend to change venues because the current location doesn’t have much to offer. You may have met a few “meh” girls there. Why not at least take their number before leaving?

 

If You Take Her Number

Say you meet your dream girl, but she works the next morning. To make matters worse, it is an important day for her. She is meeting a top client that could change her career. You are unlikely to pull her back to your place that night.

I am emphasizing the importance of her having a key meeting the next day since some of you may claim that it is possible to pull a girl who has to get up early the next morning. I will not disagree. Heck, I even managed to pull a girl back home two and a half hours before her flight and made her friends bring her luggage to the airport to go there straight from my place.

Is this a possible scenario? Yes, it has happened to me. Is it likely? No. It is one of those odd situations that occur once in a while in pickup and seduction, and gladly so since odd stories make this more exciting. But they are not the norm.

So let’s consider a situation where she is unlikely to go home with you the same night. Then you should grab her number.

But if you do so, you should avoid a very common pitfall men face over and over again.

Do not escalate the vibe with her. Do not escalate sexually. Do not get overly sexual with her (a little bit is okay to set a light sexual frame). The point is: do not arouse her and do not try to peak her arousal.

Why? Because what happens the moment she leaves you and is by herself?

She may be at home the next day when it is raining, and her mood goes down. Not only will her arousal for you fade, but she may even regret getting carried away by you.

And there is nothing you can do about it. Your witty text is unlikely to change this.

This is when she is likely to stop responding, turn cold, go silent, or flake. She regrets getting carried away by you. She is not in the mood where she feels being aroused feels good, so she will rationalize that she shouldn’t have allowed herself to get carried away by you.

You are not there to remind her that this was the right thing to do, and her mood is now anti-sexual, which pushes her to think negatively about the experience.

She may also start worrying that you may see her as loose or a slut, and regret showing you this side of her. She doesn’t want to feel judged.

So, what is the safest course of action for her with all that in mind?

Flake. Go cold. Become silent. None of these outcomes are desirable. Keep in mind that women are usually risk-averse by nature.

I realized my numbers had a better conversion rate (converting into dates) with girls I did not escalate with when I took their numbers.

Does this mean it is possible to get a day two with a girl you have aroused and taken her number? Of course.

But we care about are probabilities. It is all about playing your cards with the best outcomes.

That same girl would most likely have met you even if you did not escalate physically or sexually.

So you have:

1. Better odds of meeting her if you do not escalate sexually/physically (arouse her).

2. Better odds by choosing the high-probability option; you are not taking a major risk.

The conclusion is obvious. If you plan to take her number, do not escalate the vibe. Do not spike her arousal.

Sometimes, you will try to go for the same night pull, but something goes south. She is unable to go home with you. You have already escalated the vibe, perhaps aroused her as per the modus operandi for same night/day pulls.

In this case, should you still take her number? Of course!

But since you did escalate the vibe, you increase the odds of facing flakes. It is the way it is. But if you do not take her number, you have little chance of seeing her again. So take her number.

Now, some of you may be tempted to start playing it a bit too safe by not escalating the vibe and going for phone numbers instead of going for same day or night pulls when it is logistically possible.

This is a mistake. If you can go for an instant pull, you should always opt for it since the odds of succeeding at an instant pull are higher than going the slow way and taking her phone number because of the chances of flakes.

 

Conclusion

If logistics allow for it, go for the pull. If they don’t, go for the number.

Make sure you screen for her logistics. Figure out what she is up to later or where she is going. If you have to take her number, do not sexualize too much, and don’t escalate the vibe.

If you did escalate the vibe and go for an instant pull, but it goes south, go for the number, but cross your fingers that she will not flake.

I hope this clarifies a few things.

Best,

Alek