Extended Seductions: Seducing a Woman Over Weeks (or Longer)

Hey guys. In my two previous posts, I discussed whether you should seal the deal now or wait for later, opting for an “extended seduction.”

In the first post, I discussed if you should get her number rather than go for the kill right there. My conclusion is that it is always best to go for the pull if logistics allow. It’s a call beginners and advanced guys alike have to make often.

In the second post, I went over whether you should escalate to sex or opt for another date. This decision is trickier and is best made by advanced guys since the pitfalls of missing an escalation window when she is ready (an opportunity to escalate to sex) may ruin a future chance of having sex with her.

There will always be a higher probability of sealing the deal when going for the instant close. Overall, it is the better strategy. Generally, it is a better call, although going for the extended seduction is favorable in some situations.

The issue is that knowing when those situations occur can be hard to discern and, if misjudged, could cost you the interaction. It’s why I suggest that beginners do not opt for the “extended seduction” strategy.

I’ll be re-emphasizing this today. As you will see, it may seem easy to pull off an extended seduction, but in practice, it is tricky.

• The longer the seduction, the more material and knowledge you need to keep her excited and hooked.

• The longer the seduction, the more opportunities to make mistakes. It’s not an ideal strategy for beginners who may be prone to errors. Intermediate guys may make fewer mistakes; however, the longer the interaction goes, the higher the chance they get nervous and impatient, thus the higher the chance of miscalibrating and making mistakes.

• The more time passes, the higher the chance of wildcards occurring. Factors you did not anticipate often come up and can potentially ruin the seduction. For example, she may get sick between dates, run into an ex, or something stressful comes up at work. Anything can happen. It requires good wildcard management and a great overall game to survive the damage the wildcard causes. (Note that I wrote an important piece on wildcards a while back.)

So you can see why an extended seduction is not easy. I will try to make it easier by providing hints and tips to make it work.

This post is my take on Pureevil’s original concept behind extended seductions. In my opinion, he was the founding father of extended seduction, and most techniques here should be credited to him. Pureevil was a top-tier seducer who had the guts to write posts on this subject when the trend was fast pulls. (A trend I was part of; I was very involved in that school of thought.)

Check out Pureevil’s original posts reposted by veteran seducer Skills.

First, let’s discuss why you would consider going for extended seductions.

 

Why Extended Seductions?

An extended seduction doesn’t mean you will have a long relationship with her. The extended seduction only means you spend more time with her before you eventually seal the deal.

You can have an extended seduction and only have sex with her once, and you can have a quick pull that results in a long-term relationship. Extended seductions have little to do with how long your relationship with her will be.

Extended seductions are about dragging out or “stalling” the seduction process.

But why would you do it?

Pureevil was a big fan of extended seductions. He wasn’t doing it because it was a more efficient or consistent technique. He did it primarily because he enjoyed the process.

• Extended seductions have this “teasing” effect on both you and her. You both know you could have sex, but you choose to drag it out instead of doing it, which eventually will make you both more curious about each other. Over time, this arouses you both even more. It creates a sexual tension that grows and grows, which girls may enjoy—men like this too, especially Pureevil. As I grew older, I have enjoyed this more, even though I am not a true believer like he was.

• This extended sexual tension increases the amount of compliance to the point of insanity sometimes. This means less BS and less last-minute resistance since the sexual tension and compliance will be so high that the compliance level will rise above the resistance level: she won’t be able to control herself.

• Sex tends to be incredible with this method.

Unlike Pureevil, I value “securing the deal” over overcomplicating things for my own pleasure. So, I favor results and advocate going for the instant pull.

In light of my two previous posts, there are times when this strategy is to increase consistency: something Pureevil failed to mention. You may be like Pureevil and enjoy extended seductions, or you may be like me, who may sometimes like it but do not favor it. However, in certain situations, it is required to increase your odds.

It is up to you. Now how do you pull off an extended seduction?

 

How Does It Work?

First, note something important mentioned earlier: “You both know you could have sex, but you choose to drag it out instead of doing it, which eventually will make you both more curious about each other. Over time, this arouses you both even more.”

This is important because it is a deliberate choice on YOUR end to not have sex with her—or at least it seems that way. Either you are like Pureevil, who genuinely chooses to drag it out, or you are more like me, who would prefer to drag it out because of my strategic choice. You assessed that your odds would be better when you drag things out before attempting to escalate to sex. That becomes your choice. Even if you had to choose this option because you felt the situation pushed you to do it, this becomes your strategic choice.

She doesn’t know why you chose to do it. She doesn’t know your assessment of the situation unless you tell her (hint: don’t). So, in her eyes, it is your choice not to escalate.

The frame is in your hands. You are in control.

It’s not the same as when the seduction becomes extended because she keeps resisting. In this case, she is in control. It isn’t your choice (or it doesn’t appear as if it was your choice). It’s her choice, and you comply. Hence, she is controlling the frame and decides the outcome.

What results when she controls the frame? Loss of compliance, and you have less control over the interaction. Bad. Always control the frame.

It’s why I suggest that you shouldn’t try to escalate when you choose to opt for an extended seduction—because it becomes YOUR choice not to escalate.

There is a catch. If you choose not to escalate while she has zero interest in having sex with you, this will have no effect. She needs to have a decent amount of sexual interest in you for this to work. She didn’t care; you did not escalate; hence it will not affect her. However, if she does care and is curious about you AND you do not escalate, she will grow curious.

This is one of many reasons why I (and Purevil) consider this strategy advanced.

 

Anti-Logistics

The idea is not to have logistics. Here logistics can work against you. If you had logistics (the proper setting for sex to happen), then you should have escalated, right? Otherwise, you will fail.

As Purevil says:

“Logistics/Tension Rule": Given good sexual-tension-building game, so long as logistics prevent isolation/escalation, the sexual tension will continue to build. If, however, you fail to act on a blatant isolation opportunity, or fail to escalate once isolated, you risk ending up in LJBF/rejection land.”

So, if you have the logistics and do not escalate, you will lose the escalation window and the sexual frame and be perceived as a non-sexual guy, and wind up in the friend zone (or, as Preevil mentioned, LJBF “let’s just be friends”). See my previous two posts or my series on sexual frames for more details.

So how does one avoid this pitfall?

When you opt for an extended seduction because you have to because of sudden logistic changes (say she has to leave in a bit), the problem solves itself since the logistics aren’t there for an instant pull.

But what if that is not the case? What if you have the possibility to have good logistics. How do you avoid this issue?

You create “anti-logistics.”

 

Creating Anti-Logistics

The idea here is to deliberately screw up your logistics to make sure that it is obvious that the logistics aren’t there for both you and her. In other words, it becomes obvious to her that you cannot have sex despite both wanting to. For example, perhaps there is no room nearby, or perhaps her best friend is in the room. She knows sex is unlikely to happen.

Why is this key? You suddenly have plausible deniability or an “excuse” not to escalate. It isn’t on you anymore. It is not you are being a pussy or too scared to escalate. It isn’t your fault things cannot get sexual between you. So you do not get the blame and avoid the pitfalls of not escalating since not escalating will not be attributed to you.

So, the idea is to screw up your logistics deliberately.

• Take her to an afterparty with no extra room.

• Meet her for coffee or a brief meeting during the day or evening, and make sure you place a time constraint (you have to go in one hour). There will be no way you guys could screw. This was Pureevil’s favorite method.

• Invite people to your place when you have a girl over—anything goes.

Note that not having condoms is a bad excuse. It only shows you are not prepared and not a guy who usually has sex with girls. Bad.

As Pureevil says:

“The two main logistical maneuvers that work here (in my experience) are “you're always in a group of people when together” for social game or “legitimate time constraints” for dating game.”

Time constraints and certain social settings are good ways to create anti-logistics.

 

Anti-Logistics and Sexual Tension

Anti-logistics generate sexual tension. She can feel desire without needing to control herself since the logistics (which you secretly control) will do the job for her: sex will not happen. The result? She allows herself to feel aroused—very powerful stuff. Since you ultimately control the logistics, you will be in full control.

This is the beauty of this technique. Advanced? Yes.

Hard to pull off properly? Yes, it requires good control, especially logistic control, and a certain amount of control over the interaction.

Is it powerful? Yes!

There you have it. Let the anti-logistics do the work. Let them make her feel allowed and build the sexual tension. You generate sexual tension when one is sexually teased, and here the logistics (or rather, the anti-logistics) will tease her desires.

Another factor that plays in is that women want what they cannot have, and the logistics make you a forbidden fruit and, therefore, a desired fruit.

Much playing in your favor. But it is easier said than done.

 

Conclusion

Beware of the risks and avoid them by creating anti-logistics whenever you opt for extended seductions. Failing at escalating when you logistically can will put you in the provider/friend zone, and you may lose your chances of laying her.

You can counteract this by purposely creating unfavorable logistics through unfavorable social settings or time constraints. As a result, you will generate tons of compliance and sexual tension.

This will help you have extended seductions without falling into the usual pitfalls most men fall into, where all excitement between you and her fades and the frame turns non-sexual. Here’s how you should do it to maintain all that juicy stuff while having time to establish more rapport and additional compliance from the sexual tension you create.

Using this technique will be on your terms, not hers, positively affecting the frame and meta-frame. It is in your hands, and you are in control.

Remember that this is easier said than done, and I must stress that this is advanced. I say it is, Pureevil says it is, and the veteran seducerSkills (who reposted Pureevil’s old posts on our forum SkilledSeducer) also claims it is.

That said, it is very powerful.

Next week, I will share more tips and tricks to make this technique even more powerful and easier for you to pull off.

So stay tuned.

Best,
Alek

---

PS: Feel free to check out Skills’ repost of Pureevil’s original posts