One of the great differences between an experienced seducer and an ordinary man is what we might call the “depersonalization” of seduction.
For Joe Average, each encounter with an attractive woman is a deeply personal affair. He experiences a range of powerful positive and negative emotions whenever a woman he desires (and often even one he doesn’t) seems to approve of or reject him.
Happy interactions with women sending him over the moon, beaming with hope, pride, and victory; rejections, on the other hand, crumple him, turning him sour, beaten, resentful.
Yet for the experienced seducer, women’s reactions to him are not personal. The experience he creates for women feels more personal for the women than what they experience with Joe Average, by far… Nevertheless for the seducer himself, the seduction is merely a process he’s run many times before. The outcome of any individual interaction carries little emotional weight for him – often none at all.
It’s not that his emotions have “vanished”; rather, it is that they have moved… Instead of being affected by the slings and arrows of courtship that elevate or sink more ordinary men, the seducer’s emotions are focused somewhere else. The seduction process itself for him has become depersonalized.
This depersonalization offers enormous benefits to the experienced seducer… not the least of which are far higher success rates with women (due to him being able to act unclouded by emotion), plus far lower rates of the heartache, bitterness, and disappointment ordinary men so often experience in their dealings with women.
Depersonalizing seduction is thus a very worthwhile aim for novice and intermediate seducers. But can you do that, any way other than just putting in enough approaches to get there?