Tactics Tuesdays

Preselection need not be an accidental boon. You can cultivate it deliberately with women, too… using these two angles to get girls VISIBLY chasing YOU.

Preselection is perhaps the single most powerful attractant there is.

The attraction boost you receive when a woman sees a beautiful girl behaving in an attracted way with you is +25% (study). The effect a beautiful, attracted woman flirting with you has on your attractiveness to other women is larger than looks, dominance, height, money, or confidence.

The one tool I recommend to every single guy who comes to me saying, “I feel like I’ve completely blown it with this girl; what do I do?” is preselection.

Let that girl you’ve blown it with see another good-looking girl blatantly flirting with you, and she’ll be back chasing after you as if you’d never even blown it. Sometimes (even oftentimes) it is the ONLY thing that works.

Today I’ll give you a simple-yet-nefarious tactic for eliciting OBVIOUS preselection from girls who may not even actually be all that into you.

The benefits should be obvious – but just in case they aren’t, I’ll spell them out.

Note that this is an article for intermediate-level playboys and up. You don’t have to be a seduction mastermind, but you do need a little charisma and some social savvy to pull this one off.

Socratic questioning is a powerful rhetorical technique for breaking people out of dogmatic beliefs. Use it to bust bad opinions… and turn girls into fans.

Everybody’s had the experience of being in a conversation with someone and hitting points of resistance every which way.

You’re talking with a girl and she brings up some opinion you don’t agree with… then when you try to get her off the topic she won’t budge, insisting on staying with this disagreeable topic. Maybe it’s a political opinion, or a cultural one, or something else. Whatever it is, it’s grating to your ears, and it’s allll she wants to talk about.

If you express the contrary opinion, you’re certain she’ll blow up. And in any event, debates about opinions aren’t sexy. Not conducive to seduction.

If you just go along with her opinion and feign agreement, you risk looking insincere, especially if it’s an opinion you don’t hold, and especially if it’s one that undermines you (e.g., her: “Men are just so obsessed with sex it’s disgusting. I hope you’re not like that”).

You can agree and amplify, which is going to work in some cases by turning it from a serious debate into a funny bit of banter… but if she’s too deep into ‘rant mode’ (or she’s one of those totally humorless chicks) even this may backfire.

What if there was a way you could defuse all her wound-up energy around this opinion, while allowing her to feel a lot more connected to you, while at the SAME TIME even potentially pointing out some cracks in her thinking that lead her to reconsider her most staunchly-held beliefs?

There is such a way:

Socratic questioning.

Not sure if a girl you’re talking to is into you? Want to find out a quick, fun, and easy way? Use a touch test! It’s like a compliance test – with touch!

All right, let’s have a little fun with this Tactics Tuesdays installment.

Today we’re going to talk about ‘touch tests’ of all sorts, from harmless to risqué.

What is a touch test? It is a kind of compliance test where the compliance you test for is her receptiveness to your touch. These tests run the full gamut from light incidental touches to slapping girls’ butts, manhandling their breasts, and pulling their hair.

See, I told you it went all the way up to ‘risqué’.

To use anything more than very light touch tests, you’re going to need a healthy helping of calibration. But there’s one other thing you need to use ANY kind of touch test, too: congruence.

When you’re in a venue where you cannot easily approach, you have another option: wave her over. By beckoning girls to you, you change the dynamic.

Commenting on my article about how to open a girl who’s moving, TheDude asks about opening in a very particular sort of venue:

There's this one hyper-cool venue, where all the best cool chicks go. The characteristics:
-a lot of hot women, around 50/50 women-men ratio
-the venue is an outdoor bar, ofter very crowded
-people come here in groups, they sit down by the tables - difficult to make a move here because you need to open whole group + often there's no spot to seat (making you an outsider)
-they only moment you can talk to these chicks freely is when they move from point A to B. The window to act is very short, making things even more difficult
-I'm quite known in my city, so I can't spam approach and I need to minimize negative effects of potential rejection

I'm over 30, I've done some crazy women-related shit, but now I prefer sniper game approach - minimal effort, maximum effect. I'm good with women in general, but in this venue I feel blocked.

The tap & beckon sound good for chicks that walk very close to me, are there any tactics for chicks moving outside of my reach? Should I run after them? What should I say to spark enough interest, but make it look low-effort? Or maybe I should wait for her to join her group and open them (yikes)?

This kind of situation – where everyone is seated at tables with their social groups and there really are not many great opportunities to just bump into people – lends itself less well to approaching. However, if you’re willing to be creative, you’ve got options:

• You can post up at the bar or near the bathrooms (or, if the venue has one, in the smoking lounge) and meet women as they drift in.

• You can run super sociable extrovert-style game where you open people at the tables around you, then jump to their tables, then after chatting with them a bit open the tables adjacent to them. All the while you can be introducing the people between tables and creating a real lively time.

• You can do the good ol’ fashioned “hostess, send a drink to that lovely brunette two tables over in the green dress and let her know it’s on me” and give her the sly nod when the hostess delivers the drink and points you out to her. If she seems excited or intrigued, wait a moment, then go open her.

However, for my money, the most Law of Least Effort-abiding way to open girls in situations like these is this: you catch a girl’s eye and wave her over.

It’s a dead simple tactic. It’s supremely confident. And when it works, it starts you off in an ideal frame.

When a girl tells you you’re too old for her, she can really mean it… or it might be a test. How you respond depends on how firm her age gap objection is.

A forum member shared a conversation recently with a girl he met at a party, vibed well with, and took a phone number from… who then protested when he messaged her that he was “kinda too old” for her.

He responded in typical guy fashion, trying to get her to explain her reasoning and then negotiate her out of it. She responded how people typically respond to people trying to convince or persuade them, by sticking to her guns harder. Needless to say, our hero did not get the date.

What can you do if a girl protests you’re “too old” for her?

Are you doomed… or does it depend?

When you talk to a girl, but she gets distracted and points something else out, what’s the best way to respond? There’s a right way – and some wrong ones.

Commenting under last week’s Tactics Tuesdays installment, on “no spirals”, a reader asks:

Hi Chase,

I have a question, you may can help. I noticed in two of my recent flirts, that I was talking to a girl, and in the situation I came in indirect, but I gave a vibe of romantic interest (not direct statement, but some very light flirting). I noticed both times, we were talking and the girl suddenly starts to say „oh, look how cute this dog is“ or „look, this kid is so cute“. I felt this was „off“, and I even felt a bit „platonic“, however it also felt like she is a girlfriend telling her boyfriend that she finds something cute, so its a VERY mixed signal for me. On the one hand, it kind of infuses too much cuteness and platonic feelings for a flirt, on the other hand, it is some kind of a submission. Do you know these situations and know what to make of them?

Thank you

The quick summary is he’s made some approaches on girls where the girls interrupted to comment on something cute nearby (kid, dog). He wasn’t sure how to respond. Agree? Ignore? Tell a story about your own experiences with kids, dogs, or whatever the cute thing is?

Before we discuss the best response, first let’s talk about what you’re feeling and why it FEELS like the conversation is in danger of veering into ‘platonic friend’ territory.