Tactics Tuesdays

Conversation feels flat when it stays impersonal too long. But personalizing conversation can be tricky. These 5 tips let you personalize things SMOOTHLY.

Want to build an emotional connection with someone?

You’re going to need a personal conversation to do that.

Sure, you can debate local politics or the state of Lithuanian culinary arts with your friends and have a nice, stimulating conversation. It won’t create or deepen an emotional bond, though.

Emotional bonds stem from personal topics: those about you, and those about your conversation partner. The more direct and intimate the topic, the deeper the bond you create. Yet even topics that are fairly superficial yet nevertheless still personal to one of the interlocutors do the trick.

This one weird trick (actually, I’ll show you five tricks!) for personalizing your conversations can make such a sea change in the way conversations go for you that you’ll almost never want to talk to people any other way.

The switch from social to intimate vibes with a girl is tricky. It won’t always take. Girls may resist. Yet, switch right, and seduction gets smoother.

Commenting on my article “Girls Don’t WANT You to Move Slow”, James D. references my stages of a successful date and asks about making the transition from a social vibe to a more intimate one. He says

Chase,

Based off this article:

https://www.girlschase.com/article/trajectory-successful-date

My sticking point is skipping step 6.

After the arrival of sexual topics and vibe (step 5) and I go straight for step 7 (extraction)

Could you please advise on ways to move off that sticking point?

This is a common sticking point for intermediate seducers. Once you get good enough at ‘running the game’, you will find you can easily get deep into solid interactions with girls. The girl is clearly attracted to you. She is eating up your conversation. Things are looking great.

There’s just one problem: everything so far has been flirtatious, yes, there’s touch, sure – but the vibe is a conversational one. You need to switch it to a more intimate vibe. How can you do that?

James D. is doing something I did for a while too, where you decide, “Screw it, the vibe isn’t quite intimate, but hey – we’ve got a good thing going. I’m just going to push things forward and see if I can get her alone somewhere.”

It works sometimes. Other times, despite how seemingly into you the girl may be, she balks at this escalation into the more intimate when vibe-wise she wasn’t ready for it.

If you don’t want her balking, you’re going to need to make that transition a little more smoothly.

What do you do when you screw up with a girl? Maybe you looked needy, or you accidentally spurned her. Either way, now it’s time for a little firefighting.

Sometimes you are going to screw up with girls.

Perhaps she told you she loves to paint and you blurted out not to quit her day job. Maybe you were supposed to meet her at 3:30 PM but for some reason you thought it was at 5:30 PM and stood her up. Or it could be she hinted for you to move things forward but you missed her signal entirely and just kept chatting with her normally until she started acting disappointed.

Hey, it happens to the best of us. We all screw up sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up too much.

Assuming you haven’t screwed up so bad that all hope is lost, however, you are going to need to firefight. But the WAY you firefight a romantic screwup is going to depend on what kind of screwup it is… how egregiously you screwed up… and how urgent the turnaround must be.

Not every girl you’ll meet is a lone wolf. Many come with female friends alongside them! How do you handle these friends so you still get your girl?

You’ve approached a girl solo, or perhaps with a wingman. Either way, the girl you want has a friend. Perhaps a couple of friends. The friends are girls too.

Should you game them?

Ignore them?

Just be polite with them?

How much should you touch them, talk to them, or potentially flirt with them?

The way you handle girls’ friends has ripple effects on your seduction of the girl herself, not to mention her friends’ willingness (or not) to let you ask her out or pull her.

When you talk to girls, talk about other girls. It lets you set sexual frames, communicate popularity with women, and inspire girls to chase you.

Here’s a “golden oldie” of seduction community wisdom:

When talking with girls, talk about other girls.

I first encountered this advice in the first seduction manual I ever read, Swinggcat’s book Real World Seduction. In it, Swinggcat recommended telling girls stories that had other girls in them.

It didn’t take long before I heard this same tactic from other seduction community legends. One advocated talking about “my friend blah blah” and then referring to your friend as “she” and “her” – and if a girl asks, “Is she your girlfriend?” you know you have her hooked.

Another talked about how telling stories about other girls you know or knew allowed women to feel more comfortable around you, showing them you’re not some guy women avoid, while allowing you to show the girls you’re talking to that you have girls just like them in your life already (excellent for attainability).

I don’t see this advice so much anymore, so I figured I’d do a little write up on it specifically, just to get it out there again.

Another way to get intimate with women. Rather than just feeling them up and undressing them, you can prompt them to verbalize desire for you instead.

In my article on pussy-centric escalation, a commenter asked me for examples of getting verbal, logical buy-in to your escalation to intimacy. I recommended this for any girl who seemed like she was either on the fence or could cause trouble (e.g., an orange flag girl, etc.).

So let’s talk verbal buy-in during your sex escalations!

Verbal buy-in is anything you are doing to get a girl to affirm that yes, she really wants this next step in the seduction to occur.

You’ve no doubt heard of the social justice / feminist / egalitarian concept of “affirmative consent”, yes? You might’ve thought it a terrible, seduction-killing concept. But believe it or not going for verbal buy-in as you seduce is basically just this: it is the same concept as “affirmative consent”, just gussied up and made sexier.

I’m going to show you how to do this today, and add another powerful tool to your sexual escalation arsenal.

If you’re talking to a girl when someone interjects with poor opinions on your flirtation, that’s a busybody cockblock – and you have to get rid of him.

Everybody’s a critic, amirite?

Over on the forum, a member reported an issue where he was flirting with a girl who was “way into him” when suddenly a person near to both of them interjected to announce that our member was “too old” to be flirting with the girl he was flirting with.

The forum member wasn’t sure what to do. His first idea was

Essentially, take ownership by saying I am flirting, and joking about being old and creepy like Craig Ferguson, or something?

No. No you definitely do not want to do that.

Craig Ferguson is definitely good at being chasey and creepy with women. But if you are painting yourself as “just a chasey, creepy guy, just like Craig Ferguson!” all that is doing is yielding the frame to the cockblock, empowering him to cockblock further, all while making yourself feel creepy, and creeping out the girl.

The last thing you want to do when someone tries to cockblock you is agree with the frame of your cockblocker and give that person encouragement to continue.

Instead, you need to take the frame away from this person – and obliterate his frame so hard he never tries to interfere with your seductions again.