(1) Beginner

When getting girls feels like a lot of work, you’re getting the ‘getting’ wrong. The secret is how much work you get HER to put in – not how much YOU do.

I keep hearing this same phrase and variations thereof chanted over and over by men across the Internet:

• “Getting girls is too much work!”

• “Women aren’t worth the effort!”

• “No woman is worth doing this!”

I see guys miming it all over social media anytime anyone talks about getting girls.

I see it parroted randomly on forums and article comment sections online.

It’s repeated so freely and easily, and repeated so verbatim, that it’s clear it’s a gut-level response, bleached deep into men’s psyches, that they’ve absorbed from the red pill Internet and internalized.

But if getting girls is a lot of work, I just have this to say to you, amigo:

The way you’re using to get them is the WRONG way!

The fact that you’re making an effort to look good, not gushing all over girls, and actually trying to be chill & interesting puts you head and shoulders over almost every other man.

This post by DoWhatWorks originally appeared on our forum here.

TLDR: If you're on this site, self-improvement focused and avoid doing stupid things around girls you'll stand out against 99% of guys.

You likely don't give yourself enough credit. Remember there are plenty of cool/attractive girls you can get by putting in numbers and this recent looks obsession/maxxing is an insecurity marketing tactic which if I'm honest I occasionally fall victim too. Goodlooking loser had a great post on this (“Hollywood Loves Your Inferiority Complex, Part 1”) back in the day.

The smart phone era has put us all into our heads. The result has been fewer women signaling men – and fewer men approaching women.

Taking a stroll down a leafy city sidewalk today I connected a few separate factors I hadn’t before connected. Men have had a lot of complaints recently about women not signaling them, even as women have complained about men not approaching them. Many of us in seduction have noticed that women’s signaling frequency has gone down compared to a decade+ ago.

People are more introverted, shier, with poorer social skills overall – and a lot less likely to be in what I call ‘social mode’.

I’ve talked before on Girls Chase about how you’re a lot more likely to elicit signals from women when you’re attuned to women and the environment around you. We’ve also talked about how to elicit approach invitations from women using attention grabs before. We’ve even talked about prompting women to approach you outright!

The dots I connected during today’s sidewalk stroll however connect all these factors into an overall social fabric that makes the ‘signal decline’ make a lot more sense.

Dating is rough for autistic men. Yet, approaching it methodically, focusing on building the right habits, their romantic challenges can be whittled down.

As the founder of the highest traffic men’s dating advice website in history, I’ve fielded comments, questions, and laments from men on the autism spectrum for decades.

I’ve seen many success stories among students of the game who are also on the spectrum. I also have a pretty firm grasp at this point of what the limitations are for such men.

If you’re new to Girls Chase and don’t know who I am, I am a ‘neurotypical’ dating & relationship expert whose stock in trade is breaking down complex social and romantic concepts into their essences. My approach is relentless practicality and understandability in what I teach; to take concepts I and other Don Juans understand at an intuitive level, and break them down them in simple terms accessible to beginners. Due to the nature of my insights and analyses, this site has proven popular with men on the autism spectrum over time.

That said, I realize there are a lot of trained specialists out there who work dedicatedly with men on the autistic spectrum.

I am not an ‘autism specialist’. If part of your requirement for accepting advice is that the advice giver come through an institutional credentialing program, close this page now and contact your nearest autism specialist for a consultation instead.

If, however, you’d like a pathway forward for you in dating, despite the struggles that come from being on the autism spectrum, read on.

If you want to get better at picking up girls, dating girls, and sleeping with girls, there is NO BETTER TOOL at your disposal than writing field reports.

This post by Hector Castillo originally appeared on our forum here.

It's been officially 6 years since I've joined this forum. I recently re-reposted my first ever LR (and post on the forum).

What I remembered from reading this report and a few others on the boards right now, is that there is almost NOTHING that makes you better with women quicker than field reports.

It's almost as good as coaching... almost 😀

Many men in the 2020s are terrified to approach women. They’re paralyzed with fear a girl might shame or insult them. These fears are a male mass hysteria.

Mass hysteria has gripped the minds of millions of Western men as of the mid-2020s. These men are not just hesitant to approach women – they’re terrified of it.

And while approach anxiety has always had at its root overblown fears and paranoia, the latest variant is so wildly inflamed it can’t be called anything other than a mass hysteria.

This modern anti-approaching hysteria goes something like this:

“You’d have to be a fool to approach a woman in the modern age! Women have become so hostile to men approaching them that it’s not worth the risk of being shamed online or charged with harassment. Anyone trying to get men to approach women in this environment is an enemy of men.”

Like other moral panics, those caught up in the hysteria live in self-reinforcing bubbles. Inside these bubbles they repeat their claims and egg on one another’s panic. They seize upon the slimmest proof to reinforce their hysterias, and dismiss all evidence to the contrary.

Feeling threatened and cornered, a purity spiral has taken hold of these men. Anyone who argues against their belief in the vast, lurking, insidious dangers of approaching a woman is cast out as “not with us but against us”, an agent of evil who seeks only to do harm to these pathetic hysterics.

Interacting with them online, I’ve found myself a frequent target of their hostility. It’s obvious they live in a different reality. I and all the other playboys I know, as well as all the beginner playboys in our community and our forum, can walk outside right now and approach as many women as we want without encountering a shred of the hostility or shaming the hysterical men claim lurks just behind every deceptively cute girl.

Average, ordinary, non-super-good-looking-or-rich-or-high-status men all across the United States, Europe, and the rest of the world are approaching multiples of women every day and do not run into any of this behavior the hysterics claim ubiquitous.

What’s caused this hysteria to grip the minds of so many millions of self-isolating modern men?

Why, despite the free online availability of materials on how to approach girls, have men become ever more inward-looking, more fearful of an approach than ever?

And might there be something to these men’s beliefs?

RELATED: Why Are 21st Century Men So Apathetic and Unmotivated?

Turn off the screens, shut out the Matrix, and recall the blood of pioneers, conquerors, nobles, and kings that flows through you.

Women will say they approve of all kinds of things. But if you twist yourself to what women ‘approve’ of, you will never get the girl!

Women approve of a great many things:

• They approve of nice, kind, self-sacrificial ‘doormat’ men

• They applaud empowered, career-focused, celibate women

• They celebrate loose, promiscuous women who leave their families behind

• They praise obese, ostentatious, fabulously unhealthy women

• They champion impoverished, uneducated third world migrants

• They laud men who continue to parent a child they discover is not their own

• They commend men who accept open relationships at the woman’s behest

The credulous man takes this approval of women’s at face value. He assumes women approve of the things they do because they, themselves, want those kinds of men and experiences in their own lives.

But when the credulous man accepts all these things women show their approval of at face value, and works to bring himself in line with the things women claim to approve of, he discovers something else:

Despite bending to women’s whims, women just do not want him!

There’s another kind of man out there, however; different from the credulous man.

This man never takes the things women say at face value.

This man considers women’s approval irrelevant; he laughs at women’s disapproval; and in the end, he gets the girl, again and again and again.