(1) Beginner

Girls will giddily talk up the guys they are (or were) going out with. Yet the actual man is never quite as impressive as the picture girls paint…

Several weeks ago a reader named Jason H. asked the following on my article about the reasons for there being so many single people:

Have you any advise in seeing things from the women's POV and feeling how women feel attracted differently from us men?

I've been reading Girlschase long enough to know that women and men at a GUT level are attracted to and prioritize different things.

The men part I GET at a deep gut/intuitive level when I read the articles. "I'm like yeah that makes sense!". Of course we prioritise youth and beauty. But I experience a cognitive dissonance to some extent when I read about what women prioritise with sexual attraction - because I don't FEEL the same way they do about dominance, humor, confidence & competence. These things don't turn me on at a gut level.

So I'm fighting the part of me that feels women prioritise - looks, height,muscles at low body fat or popularity. Dating apps (I'm not on it) but of men who are on it are competing with the only factor that's assessed on it -looks. So when I hear a female friend say I matched with a 6ft4 guy who is into martial arts he sounds like fun - it irritates me because I'm like well 'I'm pretty sure they value these other traits more' but they match a good looking guy or very tall guy and they are excited to meet him.

I want to be attractive enough so that women feel this same way more instantly. I've had good success by improving fundamentals and bedding women. The difference is it takes me longer to flip attraction triggers. I want it happening quicker and more passively.
I've come to realise is women have various attraction triggers and it's more complex than men.
- A tall man can trigger their attraction switch - which then can be built on
- A popular guy who is preselected can trigger their attraction switch (has happened to me several times)
- Dominance, humour, competence and confidence etc all can trigger it.

What I've come to realise is that men need a BUY-IN. So an average looking guy at average height needs to have excellence in SOME form that women value: showing competence at something they value fitness/sport/music/art or dominance/humour/popularity - whatever it is

Following your article on Tao of Steve I've focused on becoming excellent fitness/physique wise which has led to more attention from women: more stares, smiles,comments which is all positive. While working on fundamentals across the board.

Back to my original question.

I know these things are true. Even objectively I see women with men similar to themselves but less physically attractive.

Yet I'm struggling to overcome this part of me that's obsessed with thinking women's no.1 priority is this. All it takes is a face value comment from a woman saying they like tall guys, or that guy is easy on the eyes/amazing body. Yet I don't hear comments about that guy is so funny he turns me on. Or that guy is sexy (while also not referring to a handsome/tall/ripped guy).

How do I overcome this insecurity/cognitive dissonance?
How am I able to understand or FEEL what women feel at a gut level about attraction without PROJECTING my own feelings?

I really like the concept of talking about understanding female attraction at a gut level.

However, Jason H. brings up another point here, which I think is more important to address FIRST:

Namely, how people work to present an image of themselves as successful by playing up how awesome their dates and lovers are… and how if you aren’t careful you can get totally suckered by it!

Everybody does this… but girls do it more. Girls are the masters at it. Girls will tell you constantly how picky they are, how excellent their ex-boyfriends were, how refined their taste is. And the illusion will hold! … right up until you actually meet the guys these girls are going with (and say to yourself “Huh?!”).

So before we talk about understanding female attraction at an intuitive, gut level (which I still would like to talk about), FIRST let’s make sure we understand this equally important concept, that the way women describe their standards and the men in their lives and the way those men actually are tend to be two very different things.

Turn boring conversation into playful banter and open loops. Just ask her, “Is it true what they say about X girls?” with ‘X’ being something about her.

Let’s give you a simple little banter line you can use with pretty much any girl you talk to.

That is this:

“Is it true what they say about X girls?” / “girls from Y place?” / “girls who Z?”

… with ‘X’ or ‘Y’ or ‘Z’ being anything about her she uses to describe herself:

• Age
• Hobby
• Career
• Star sign
• Place of origin

You can also make it a statement: “You know what they say about X girls…”

For instance, if she tells you she’s Greek, you say:

“Is it true what they say about Greek girls?” / “You know what they say about girls from Greece…”

She, of course, will be curious and want to know what “they say” about Greek girls.

That’s where the real fun begins.

A wingman can be a great asset when you go out to meet girls. But the wrong wingman can play saboteur. Follow this guide & these rules to pick a GOOD one.

Hey, guys. In my last few posts on selecting nightlife companions, I’ve discussed going out with others versus going out solo, a subject discussed often. We’ve gone over selecting the number of people to go out with and choosing the right people to tag along with you.

We briefly mentioned wingmanning, and I decided not to delve too far into this discussion then. Those posts covered going out with people who may not desire to cooperate in your women-hunting endeavors because they are not wingmen but cool people who know many others, look good, and can increase your mood and value.

We concluded that it is best to:

1. Go out solo.

2. Go out in a larger group.

3. Avoid going out in groups of three whenever possible.

4. Avoid going out with one other unless he is your explicit wingman; otherwise, he will be in the way.

So, in this post, we will discuss the basics of wingmanning and the criteria for choosing the right wingmen, then go through different wingmanning rules. In the coming weeks, we will discuss more strategies and techniques to use with your wingman.

What made Brad Pitt the Sexiest Man Alive – twice? It’s his charisma… and in this breakdown of what he does and why, you’ll discover just how he does it.

In light of our special on “Charisma In A Bottle” – the most complete charisma training course on the market – I’m adding another entry to our Charisma Breakdown series, which analyzes the charisma of famous leading men.

Today’s subject: People Magazine’s twice-awarded ‘Sexiest Man Alive’, Brad Pitt. A Charisma Breakdown on Brad Pitt is probably overdue; here in the men’s corner of the Internet, we’ve long used ‘Brad Pitt’ as a stand-in for ‘ridiculously handsome and/or sexy man’. While of course tastes vary and not every woman agrees he’s all that attractive, most can agree he’s a pretty charming guy.

For the purposes of this article, we’ll be looking at the charisma of young Brad Pitt. Many men get better with age (see: Sean Connery, John Wayne), but others decline (see: Errol Flynn). Pitt, unfortunately, is in the ‘decline’ camp (albeit still solidly charismatic; just not as much so as when younger).

So let’s do a review of young, sexiest Brad Pitt – and see just how he worked his charismatic appeal!

Men who resent women miss one key thing: it’s not women they’re competing with for women! But who is it who’s REALLY responsible for making them lose then?

We’ve got a guy over on the forum talking about how he resents women because they have it so easy in life (his words). This is pretty common red pill / incel talk these days.

I get it. Men are frustrated. Frustrated people look for someone to blame. Women are the ones turning these guys down, so women are the ones they saddle with the blame. Is it fair? Is it unfair? Well, this is what humans do.

Normally I would talk about fixer vs. complainer mentalities here (Fixer: “I’m failing, so I need to figure out why and fix it”; Complainer: “I’m failing, and it’s all everyone else’s fault!” Guess which one of those two guys is going to eventually get what he wants, and which one isn’t?). Or I would advise men not to compare themselves to women, because men aren’t women, and comparison to women is getting oneself stuck in mental impotency.

But today I specifically want to discuss this phenomenon of men resenting women, because they blame the women for their predicaments as rejected, dateless, sexless men.

But it is not women who are ultimately to blame for you getting rejected.

I won’t even say it is ‘you’ who is to blame.

Nor is it fair to say ‘society’ is to blame for your rejection.

Instead, there is another culprit – a far more ubiquitous one; one you are doing everything in your power not to look at, to avert your eyes from, because he is threatening, intimidating, and makes you feel weak and small.

But you must know this foe if you ever hope to overcome him.

A girl you have a date with texts that she wants to reschedule. What should you do? How to respond? It depends – on which of the 4 “reschedulers” she is.

Everybody’s been there before. You have a date set up with a girl, everything’s planned, and then out of the blue she wants to reschedule.

She might be really apologetic. She might have a totally understandable reason to postpone.

Or she might not apologize or give a reason for it at all… all you get is a curt “Hey I won’t make it. We’ll have to reschedule,” and that’s it.

How do you handle curveballs like these?

What should you do when a girl asks to reschedule a date?

Many men after age 40 struggle to meet, date, & sleep with younger women. Yet some guys after 40 still find it a breeze. What do you do to make it get easy?

In a few months, I’ll be 46 years old.

I have no kids and have never been married. I’m not extremely rich, tall, or handsome, but I regularly date women 15-25 years younger than myself.

While this article is for men over 40 who want to attract younger women, it applies to any guy who wants to attract women up to 10 years younger than themselves, providing the “women” are of legal age.