(1) Beginner

Families can get very nosy about your love life at Thanksgiving. What do you say to these probing questions? How do you avoid rocking the holiday boat?

Figured I’d do a quick little timely piece for the holidays here.

Every year (if you’re American) family gets together and you get the most prying personal questions about your love life during Thanksgiving.

I’ve seen various people give advice on how to reply to inquisitive family members. Most of what I’ve seen comes across prickly or hostile. I don’t know why so many people recommend prickly responses to inquisitive family members… poor relationships with family? Extremely nosy family members who don’t take a gentle ‘no’ for an answer?

Anyway, this site is about socializing EFFECTIVELY, and an effective socializer makes use of grace and charm to achieve his social ends, not prickly hostility.

Thus, we are going to have a look at how to deal, in adroit and charming ways, with those inquisitive family members who dare pry into the dusty secrets of your covert love life.

Why do people get jealous about FWBs? It’s only casual, right? So… why get jealous feelings? There are two reasons why this happens: abundance and control.

A little while ago, I came across a forum thread where the poster discussed pangs of jealousy about what his promiscuous friend-with-benefits was up to in the two months he’s been out-of-town. He says:

I met a hot girl while traveling abroad a couple of months ago. We slept together 15-20 times. All the signs tell me she's the promiscuous type. We've kept in daily contact since I returned home 8 weeks ago and I'm due to travel to where she lives again in two weeks. I've had STD tests done and nothing showed up gladly, but that negative test says nothing about how promiscuous she is or isn't.

Anyway, given that this isn't even an official relationship, why do I keep having jealous pangs and urges to know what she's getting up to? She says she's waiting for me but I'm not naive enough to believe that a promiscuous person by nature would go two months without sex. So given the obvious fact she's slept with at least one person over the last few weeks (perhaps a local FB in her location), what's up with my weird obsessiveness over what she's doing?

I suspect this stems from my lack of an abundance mindset. In in my early 30s but I don't have a high body count at all. I've spent 12 years of my adult life in long-term relationships. I thought though by this point in life you learn not to give so much of a **** about these things. I guess I'm posting for advice on just letting go and not really caring what women I have casual flings with are getting up to, no matter how much I like them. It doesn't even feel fair of me to get jealous over what she's up to seeing as I didn't ask her to be in a relationship.

The forum poster got a number of replies, essentially boiling down to either “just stop caring” or “sounds like you’re not cut out for this type of relationship.” At one point he even stated that “I don’t know why I act like this.”

But all along a part of the explanation for his behavior was right there in his original post:

I suspect this stems from my lack of an abundance mindset. In in my early 30s but I don't have a high body count at all. I've spent 12 years of my adult life in long-term relationships. I thought though by this point in life you learn not to give so much of a **** about these things.

He’s probably right about why he’s feeling insecure about this girl – although there’s another possible explanation too.

Use this simple process to take the compliments others pay you and springboard off them into a deep dive.

Commenting on a recent article of mine, reader Cian requests “tips on how to gracefully reply to compliments and leverage them to further the conversation/Deep Dive process.”

His first request is simple enough. The way to reply to a compliment is, “Thank you.”

You don’t launch into a story (makes you look self-satisfied). You don’t engage in self-deprecation (makes you look uncomfortable taking a compliment). You don’t compliment back, usually – at least not instantly (makes you look reactive and lessens the impact of any compliments you do pay).

You just say thanks.

Can you use compliments as deep dive fuel though?

If so, how does that work? How do you use someone else’s compliment about you as an excuse to get to know more about your interlocuter?

Cold approach pickup – where you pick up a woman you didn’t previously know – can be tough. Who’s it right for… and are you a man who can learn to use it?

Commenting on my recent article about dumb moves guys make on dates (which itself is unrelated to cold approach, except that if you cold approach a girl you might need to take her on a date), a reader named Mr. Loco declares his unequivocal rejection of cold approach pickup, along with his feelings on who cold approach CAN be for:

I think I've had to come into a realization that I just came into. And it's a big one since I've been taught it since day.

COLD APPROACHING IS INEFFECTIVE

Here's my philosophy on cold approach. As a guy. You shouldn't cold approach women romantically at all unless you can answer these 4 questions. And Three of these questions relate to yourself. And answer honestly. If you can't say yes to at least 1 of these questions. Then you shouldn't cold approach.

Are you very physically attractive. And don't lie to yourself. Do you get alot of likes on social media on your personal pics? Do you get alot of matches on OLD? Do women often stop in their tracks when you show up? Do alot of women compliment you?

Do you have a shit ton of game? Are women always laughing your jokes? Can you smoothly transition from topic to topic? Can you easily find great conversation to talk about? Do you know how to easily emotional connect with the girl? Are you remaining somewhat mysterious? Can you get her to open up to you? Do you use very useful pickup lines? Are you smoothly flirtatious? Can you seductively talk to her that's sexy? Can you turn her own with your words? Can you easily overcome alot of logistical issues? Can you tease her in the right way? Do you know how to keep her guessing? Do you not how to be unavailable?

Is the woman that you want to be approach giving you heavy signals that she wants you to Approach. I guess this is kinda cheating because that would technically be warm approach. But if the women is giving you signals and not just her just being friendly signals. Do approach women if they trying to be super subtle. Because they are usually hard to read anyway. Don't waste your time.

Are you a glutton for punishment? Can you approach 100 women and not feel shit if every women rejects you? Can you go on 20 interviews not get the job and not give a damn?

If you said yes to one of these questions than yeah cold approach. However if you said no to all these questions.... Then no.. you should never cold approach. Its a gigantic waste of time.

I used to buy the whole stick on cold approach but Frankly. NO MORE. I think this is a VERY outdating concept that just makes men hate themselves even more and more with each passing minute. It's just a way for the only attractive men to improve their chances. It's not for most men. Because most men are not one of the four things. I think the new age of dating coaches should actually stop teaching this to young men. It's harmful more than anything.

The simple fact is that the vast majority of men who attempt cold approach pickup are going to wash out of it, like Mr. Loco here. It is not an ‘easy’ way to meet women as a beginner unless a guy already has a number of traits and skillsets developed coming in. Most men lack these; they enter cold approach like fresh babes, naked and screaming. Like fresh babes naked and screaming is also how most of them exit, too, often rather promptly.

I like Mr. Loco’s idea of a set of questions for determining “who should vs. should not try cold approaching women.” His are not the questions I would recommend though – so I will give my own take here.

Thus let’s talk about who cold approach IS for… and who it is NOT.

In so doing, we will answer the question, “Is cold approach right for me?”

Guys do a lot of dumb stuff with girls. But the worst is when guys think dumb things they’re doing are smart! Don’t be guilty of these 7 bonehead moves.

Over on the forum we had a member post how a wingman of his told him it’s a bad move to let girls drive you around on dates. It leads to a “loss of frame”, the wing claimed, because then you are not in control of the car. You are under her power. His wingman further claimed that:

Also, anything can happen when a girl is in the driving seat, such as she can go to any place she wants that is not within my seduction plan. A girl's mind is emotional so her plans can change anytime, and we would like to reduce the chances of this.

This is some real dumb, keyboard jockey thinking on the wingman’s part here. As a guy who never, ever has liked to drive women around if he can avoid it – and hasn’t driven at all in many years now; in fact, my driver’s license is nine years expired, likely to never be renewed – let me just tell you: having women chauffeur you around is the best thing in the world.

And yes, you are more likely to end up in bed with them when they do the driving than you do when you do it.

But this article isn’t just about driving.

It’s about all the dumb moves guys make on dates (plus the initial approach too), which they think improve their positions with girls, that actually make things worse.

These unconventional science- and experienced-based tips from a skilled seducer will take your libido to the stratosphere… assuming you follow them.

Last week I talked to someone who’d just tried testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). He’s actively dating and bedding new girls, but he wanted an extra edge to boost his sex drive up even higher.

The result of his TRT experiment was not good: while on the therapy he found himself beset with anxiety until he finally quit and went back to normal.

If you’re living in the West right now, you’ve likely been trained to believe something like “the solution to any problem is to pump more laboratory chemicals into your body!” Pills, supplements, hormones, fortified foods, inoculations, patches, vapes, you name it. The only thing I’m not seeing pushed much these days is suppositories (maybe they’ll make a comeback though). Just find the right elixir and eat/drink/inject it in, and voila! Miracle cure!

A few hundred years ago, alchemy was all the rage in Europe, with people busily concocting mixtures and potions hoping to solve all kinds of biological problems, often resulting in injury or even death of the imbiber of said concoctions. We laugh at that now, then we turn right around and load ourselves up with pharmaceuticals that every year more and more get revealed to have some sort of disastrous (or even mortal) effect upon the body… and often the promised result is marginal, fleeting, illusory, or none.

This article ignores all the witches’ brews, alchemical formulae, miracle jungle plants, multicolored sea slug compounds, and Big Pharma-produced Wonder Drugs™ to give you tips to raise your libido by as much as you want using nothing more than your lifestyle.

Because, as we’re about to discuss, the problem men are having with testosterone and libido is NOT a “chemical imbalance” problem that needs fixin’ with yet more chemicals and hormones… it is a LIFESTYLE problem.

Five new GirlsChase.TV videos await. Also in this article: an opportunity to join GC.TV as a creator… PLUS a preview of some of our latest creators to join.

We’re up and running again with a solid batch of new GirlsChase.TV content (after a stretch of buggy tech problems not being able to upload videos for a while… running your own in-house YouTube is hard!).

But first, before I get into the latest videos – are you a seasoned seducer who’d like to build his own brand and become a GirlsChase.TV star? Come join the GirlsChase.TV team. Build a following, promote your offers, and make a little pocket change on the site while you’re at it. See this forum post for the full details on how you can become a GC TV star.

That exciting news out of the way, here’s the latest.