Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Get Your Girlfriend Back: 3 Great Strategies

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By: Chase Amante

A little over a year and a half ago, I wrote an article on here called "The Ultimate Guide on How to Get a Girl Back." It fairly quickly became one of the more popular articles on the site, as getting girls back whose interest you've lost tends to be a common thing a great many men are all trying to figure out.

That piece also led to me getting a relatively constant stream of emails and comments and requests to write the post I'd promised, provided there was enough interest, at the end of it - a post on how to get your girlfriend back.

how to get your girlfriend back

Here's the latest request, from longerjt on the article about using scarcity:

“Chase -

So yesterday I layed it out and challenged a girlfriend to get in or out and she slammed me. I said I needed to know where she stood and that I was ready to move on and bam! She said take a hike. Guess I misplayed it.

Hence, can you do the post you promised some time ago, "how to get your girlfriend back" in "how to get a girl back"? I could use it now.

Thanks for the great stuff!

JT”

If you've been reading this site a while, you may have thought I was asleep at the wheel, or that I didn't care to address this question. A lot of people have asked about it.

But in fact, over the past 19 months or so, I've probably written a half dozen versions of this article. It's not that it's technically difficult to write... it's that there are certain moral implications in taking a girlfriend back, under certain conditions, that I feel it's important for men to understand, and it's also that I find most men trying to get their ex-girlfriends back are more concerned with what they want than with what their former girlfriends want (and need).

I think I'm in a place now where I can communicate this right.

So today, let's discuss how to get a girlfriend back - and who you need to be and what you need to be willing to do if you're going to pull this off.

It isn't always hard. Plenty of people get back together every day. But I'll be writing this for the hard cases - the ones where she isn't already knocking down your door for another try. So I'll be giving you some stuff that's tried and tested, that I've used myself multiple times, and that I've watched friends and students and mentees use effectively again and again.

But believe you me, if I find out you've used this irresponsibly and hurt some girl by being selfish, I will come to where you live and demolish you.

That out of the way, let's get on with it.

Brain Hacks: Using Moral Superiority to Turn Arguments

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By: Chase Amante

One of the most annoying, horrible, and downright irritating situations you'll ever run into socially is someone suddenly inveighing against you with emotionally-charged, finger-pointing, judgmental arguments.

moral superiority

These attacks are usually unexpected when you run into them, and they'll frequently catch you off guard. They can be confusing to know how to respond to if you're more accustomed to calm, cool-headed debates about the merits and drawbacks of a specific subject - then suddenly here's someone sandblasting you with hatred and unadulterated emotion. I'm sure you've experienced it at some point or another:

“People like you are the lowest kinds of people there are! You think you can just take whatever you want and not have to suffer the consequences! You think of no one but yourself!”

Suddenly, you're so deeply on the defensive trying to prove these accusations levied against you are untrue, that you end up effectively putting your hands up and saying, "Whoa, hey, stop, that's not true at all!"

Morality attacks also usually have a powerful communal effect, with any bystanders to the argument usually feeling either a) swept up in the argument and equally enraged and emboldened, or b) so afraid of being castigated themselves that they either just agree out of fear, or they remain quiet and let things unfold, not wanting to get in the way of an onrushing freight train.

That means that when someone starts hitting you with moral superiority, you need to be quick on your feet to not get quickly cast out as whatever you're being labeled as - and the way to do that, of course, is fighting fire with fire: you must use moral superiority right back.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 21st Edition

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By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

It's time once more for the Carnival of Dating Advice, this time the 21st Edition. As always, aimed at bringing you the 'Net's latest in thought-provoking pieces from across the spheres of dating, relationships, psychology, and socializing.

We're serving up four choice articles today: a primer/refresher on making a good impression, a primer on fighting and resolving conflicts effectively and well, a theory on approach anxiety and what you can do about it, and a bunch of fun little tricks you can do at bars (to the delight of any and all in eyeshot).

Let's have a look...

Fashion for Men: The Primer on Looking Amazing

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By: Chase Amante

Guys have been asking for a while on here for a piece on fashion for men. So I guess that makes this one a long time coming.

Fashion's important. How important? It's pretty important. It's not make or break always... but you know the saying: clothes make the man.

fashion for men

What you wear doesn't just define you as cool, sexy, or stylish. It also subconsciously affects how other people feel toward you.

Wear clothes that make you look amazing, and people will feel like you're amazing. Wear clothes that make you look different, and people will view you as different (good or bad as that may be).

Wear clothes that make you look ordinary, on the other hand, and people will view you as just that: ordinary. Boring. Not particularly noteworthy.

They'll hardly even notice you.

And thus, we have our focus on fashion: getting noticed, in a positive way. But not like what we discussed in the article on peacocking... the truly fashionable man picks clothes that fit him so well people don't even see the individual clothing items all that much.

Instead, they just look at the man himself and say "wow."

Are We Just Friends? Does She Like Me Back or Not?

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By: Chase Amante

A reader writes in on the article "Staying Out of Auto-Rejection," about asking himself the question of "Are we just friends?" and giving up on a girl he was pursuing - only to have her pull him back in with an expression of her feelings:

are we just friends

“I wrote off a girl (well have tried to anyway with great difficulty) I felt strongly for about a year ago due to the fact that although she expressed strong interested in me, she moved onto another guy due to me moving too slow, being aloof etc.

Since then, as part of bringing closure to the whole episode, I read all these theories about escalation-windows and auto-rejection, and concluded that this was most likely what happened in my case, and thus put the whole thing to rest, reaching acceptance that anything we had was over (well at least trying my best with these steps), and resolving not to make these 'mistakes' again with the next someone special who comes along.

Why to Use Scarcity with Girls You Meet

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By: Chase Amante

scarcity and datingA friend of mine (Ricardus, actually) recently pointed me at a new piece of Internet marketing software called Scarcity Samurai. The design is simple enough; you install it on your site, use it with any sales pages or product launches you're doing, and it attaches a countdown timer to the page, and lets you set up a redirect the instant the timer winds down.

People who don't buy within the time limit miss the sale and the deal is closed.

Why would anyone run a deal that closes? Well, because, on average, these kinds of promotions do around double the sales that promotions without a close date do.

That's exciting news if you sell anything online, but - unless you're selling stuff online - you may be thinking, ah, what's that got to do with me?

Well, what scarcity does for sales, it also does for seduction.

Or, you thought women just throw themselves at rock stars the one time they get the chance to backstage because they figure they can come back and grab the guy whenever they feel like it?

Booty Calling; or, Turning Phone Numbers Into Sex

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By: Chase Amante

booty callOver on the discussion boards, Stratvm discussed a phone number he'd grabbed in Switzerland while just passing through, and wanted to know how he could convert this quick phone number into a real booty call - how does he get this girl coming over for sex. He noted:

“It would be nice to have a blog post on how to convert numbers to same day lays; now I'm just guessing how to proceed.”

This article is going to be about two things:

  1. How to get a girl you've just met to respond to a "booty call"
  2. How to get into a booty call relationship with a girl you've already been with
  3. How to screen for the women who are likely to be open to booty calls

... and that last one's especially important. Not every girl is open to the idea of slinking over to your pad close to the witching hour for a late night slice of lovin'. Some women find the idea offensive to their sensibilities.

But the ones who are open to it... you may well be leaving them feeling a little less excitement in their lives by not going for it.

So here's how to pull a booty call off - and we'll begin with all the wrong ways men go about trying to get women over for some quality between-the-sheets time.

Events vs. Process: What Spectators Don't See

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By: Chase Amante

process versus events“Why don't people just give me money?”

That's what a friend of mine once lamented, frustrated at how hard a time he was having running business and making things work as well as he thought they should.

It stems from a mindset that most people have to some extent: X just happens to people. It's a focus on events.

Events are an easy thing for the human mind to seize on:

  • Climbing Mt. Everest
  • Diving in the Mediterranean
  • Getting married on a hilltop
  • Selling a business for millions of dollars
  • Sleeping with some beautiful girl
  • Becoming famous and getting on TV

Most people look at the people doing these things and say, “God, that person is lucky! Why can't I have that happen to ME?”

The hard thing to do though is the thing that's also the more correct thing, and the thing that actually works: focusing not on events, but on process, instead.

How to Turn a Girl On: 3 Tiers of Sexual Excitement

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By: Chase Amante

We went pretty deep into the metaphysical with yesterday's article, so now let's come back up for some air. Let's talk about how to turn a girl on.

how to turn a girl on

Men who haven't mastered or worked on their sexy side yet have been missing out - you have tremendous power in your ability to make a woman weak in the knees (for you). Once you have the ability to turn girls on at will, you'll find their hearts beating faster, their breaths coming quicker, and their smiles spreading wider, just by being in your presence.

You'll find that sex happens a lot faster, more consistently, and more passionately, too.

When it comes to creating arousal and desire in a woman, we can break this down into three levels, or tiers:

  1. Excitation,
  2. Anticipation, and
  3. Satiation

To create the fullest, richest degree of arousal in a girl, you must make absolutely sure you hit each one of these tiers.

So what do these three tiers - excitation, anticipation, and satiation - entail?

That's what we'll discuss today.

The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View

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By: Chase Amante

Note before you starting reading: This article is almost 10,000 words in length, and dives into a lot of material that goes beyond dating, women, seduction, and relationships. So, you may not want to start in on this one until you're in a more reflective mood, or have a good chunk of time to spend reading.

When talking about getting good with women, or about starting businesses, or learning or mastering just about anything, really, you will frequently see me discuss the importance of purpose.

Purpose drives you; it gives you momentum and wings; it aids you in accomplishing things that men more skilled than you or with more raw natural talent than you or even greater imaginations or intellect or willpower than you could never hope to achieve.

Purpose is the great equalizer.

purpose of life

I don't like going to deep into what purpose is though, because that's a complex topic. Everyone is so certain that he has a - or the - "purpose of life" all figured out, and the people standing on high yelling about purpose can be both some of the most inspiring and some of the most maddeningly frustrating people you will ever see or hear.

It's my belief, though, that the major crisis of the West has been its loss of purpose. With the withdraw of religion back into the inky depths of history, the old religions coming to be viewed as no more than quaint relics of a bygone age, Western man has found himself wondering what it is, exactly, that he's working for.

Without purpose, the good times seem like hollow indulgences, and the bad times well nigh unbearable. With purpose, though, the good times are meaningful, and the bad times more so.

So, since we've had a number of readers on here request it, and since it is a topic that influences you intangibly in everything you do - whether that be dating, relationships, business, some sport or art or hobby, or any and all other endeavors - let's have a look at purpose, and see if we can't boil purpose in life down to a few essential elements, like we like to do with everything else.