Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Calibration Series Pt. 5: Making Assumptions and Calibrating on the Fly

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

calibrate assumptions
Before you walk up to a girl, you’re going to make guesses about who she is and how to approach. What signals should you pay attention to, vs. which should you not?

Welcome to the final installment in my Calibration series. If you haven’t caught up on the previous posts, here they are:

Previously, I shared my skepticism regarding different female personalities, types, and archetypes, and their usefulness in pickup and seduction. Many readers assume that calibration is all about analyzing what type of girl you’re dealing with, then proceeding with a certain “method” that fits that exact girl. Well, it isn’t that easy – sorry.

In Part 4, I shared the reasons why I believe such a model is fallible:

  • Recognizing what kind of person she is requires you to spend time with her. This is not possible with cold approach.

  • Recognizing her type and personality is very difficult even if you’ve spent some time with her (through work, school, and other social settings). You don’t really know who she truly is, because you’ve only seen her and interacted with her in one or two settings. I remember back in the day how a particular “Miss Introvert” from class would go nuts when she’s in a club. That was a learning moment for me. I’ve had many similar experiences since.

  • In different settings, you will notice how many sides there are to women. Even if you knew her before, women don’t just experience different emotions more often, they act upon them more than men. In other words, who she is is kind of a fluid concept, especially in a settings that stimulate her a lot (clubs) or social settings that force her to put on a social mask (classrooms).

  • Honestly, when you are in-field trying to seduce, you have higher priorities than trying to perform psychoanalysis and trying to find out who she is. Instead, you have to hook her in, connect, and seduce her. You have limited time, and she has a limited attention span. Pick your tools carefully.

  • Also, this may not be the case for you, but many of us operate in highly-chaotic environments like clubs. As mentioned earlier, such places affect her emotionally, which will have an impact on her presence, but the chaos makes it very difficult for us to judge and discern who she is. And we ourselves will be more stressed, and the chaos will cloud our perceptions.

That said, without contradicting the points above (and the points of my previous posts), I will make a little argument for how using personality types can be a bit useful. However, there are lots of caveats, and the way I personally use them will differ a bit from how others would expect.

After presenting my framework, I will share with you the categories I use. But let’s first lay out the framework of how I would use personality types in calibration.

Using Visualization and Affirmation to Skyrocket Success with Girls

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

pickup affirmations and visualizations
Affirmations and visualizations are more than just New Age mumbo jumbo – they work. And they can help you do better with girls, and get the women you want.

Even if your desire suddenly appears before you, it may just as quickly pass you by if you haven’t prepared your mind to say “yes.”

Most guys are hesitant to try visualization and affirmations, and some think it would be just as helpful to throw a penny in a wishing well. But contrary to popular (skeptical) belief, they work.

For me, these two things were among the biggest factors in my social progress. If it were not for me visualizing my results differently, I probably never would have changed for the better. There is a reason so many successful people tout the effectiveness of these tools. So let me show you how you can use the power of the mind to send your results to the next level.

Tactics Tuesdays: 4 Tips to Handle Conversations in Groups

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

conversation in groups
How do you handle conversation in a group… especially when there’s a girl you like and want to talk to there? With 3-second eye contact, quality face time, and more.

Ideally, you’d like to be able to meet a girl one-on-one, hit it off with her, and run through the courtship free of distractions or interruptions. You know, that’s like meet her on the street... or in the café... or in the bar... or waiting for the train... and she’s allll by herself. All yours, from the moment you walk up.

In reality, you’ll get this some of the time. But if you’re waiting for only girls you can meet in isolation, you’ll pass up a lot of pretty girls who might otherwise have available to you. Girls you did not approach because they were with other people, and you didn’t want to have to deal with a group conversation.

It is a little dicier handling group conversations. However, there are upsides too. The biggest of which is, like the old ‘group theory’ of yesteryear PUA, once she sees you win over her group of friends, suddenly it becomes a lot easier for her to show attraction to you and agree to move forward with you (assuming she does like you). Effectively managing a conversation with multiple people involved, while also showing interest in and proceeding things forward with one specific girl in the group, shows a lot of good, attractive qualities about you. Leadership, confidence, social savvy, influence, ability to build a private world with her even as you charm everyone else... all these are on display as you work your way deftly through a group conversation situation, if you’re doing it right.

In this article, I’m going to give you some tips on doing it right, to better put you in that ‘successful group conversationalist’ bin.

8 Signs Your Friend Is a Psychopath

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

signs of a psychopath
Psychopaths have tremendous social acumen, but can be very harmful to those closest to them. Here are the 8 signs your friend is one.

They are everywhere. They work with you. They’re in your social circle. They might even be a family member.

Hell, you may even be one.

Psychopaths are everywhere.

Okay, they’re not everywhere. There’s no way to know for sure, but current estimates are that 1% of the population are psychopaths.

And psychopaths are people, except they lack sympathy. Sympathy, not empathy. That’s the big distinction I think needs clarification. If they lacked empathy, they would have a very hard time fitting in with people and manipulating them, since they’d have no idea how those people felt. In fact, it’s more accurate to say that people on the autism spectrum lack empathy. A common factor in autistic people is they regularly have no clue how others feel in a conversation, and they cannot read the most basic of social cues (which are communicated via facial expressions, body language, voice tonality, etc.).

By lacking sympathy, however, psychopaths lack the ability to actually be concerned about you. They lack the emotional response necessary to think “I feel scared for him if he makes this bad decision, so I’ll save him from it” or “He’ll be hurt if I do this to him, so I won’t do it to him.” To conceptually understand something is not even in the same universe as emotionally understanding something. The latter is infinitely more clear.

They may be able to conceptually understand that you might not like it if they bone your girlfriend, but they won’t feel the potential of regret when they consider the possibility of you finding out and being heartbroken.

You can see how this might be potentially dangerous to date a psychopath or have one as a friend. They do not have Nature’s control mechanism of sympathy that serves to prevent mass tragedies in the human species.

Their only concern is what they can get from you, how much it will cost them, and... that’s it, really.

They aren’t fundamentally evil or malicious, but they do have the capacity to be more cruel and malicious than the average person. Given the right conditions, they will strike without a second thought.

It’s imperative, then, that you learn how to spot a psychopath so you can make more informed decisions on what role you want them to play in your life.

12 Ways to Spot a Transsexual (Signs She's a He)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

spot a transsexual
Not every transsexual wants you to know all the details. To not get catfished, you need to know how to spot a transsexual – and steer clear of traps.

I just saw the David Cronenberg movie M. Butterfly, about a dude who seduces another dude who doesn’t know he’s a dude, and carries on an affair with him for 20 years and even convinces him they had a child together. All based on a true story (you can read about it on Wikipedia). What a weird movie that was (I’ve always loved both main actors, too – Jeremy Irons and John Lone. Terrific talents. Though this sure was a strange flick). Anyway, got me thinking about this topic.

A while back, I was out with a group of people in a new city. Our group consisted of five guys and four girls. Three of the girls were friends, but one was a little separate from the rest of the group. And this one... something about her triggered my “there’s something weird here” radar.

She was dressed in a sexy teal dress, and went around flirting with all the boys. She had an eye for me in particular. But to me, she looked like the women I’d seen in a cougar club in Del Mar; skin too-tight on the face (obvious sign of a face lift), lips full in an unnatural way (Botox?), dressed too flashy for an average girl. “She must be an older woman hunting for younger guys,” I thought.

At one point though, the guy I knew there leaned in and told me “She used to be a guy.”

Light bulbs went off. Ah... that’s what I was picking up on.

“Her last boyfriend didn’t find out until they’d been sleeping together for a month,” he said.

“Interesting,” I said. “How’d he react to that?”

“He was pretty upset,” my friend said.

This article is about how to not end up like that duped boyfriend, or some of the other men I’ve had transsexuals tell me about from their romantic histories (one, showing me a picture of a boyfriend, about said boyfriend: “He got used to it”). It’s about how to spot a transsexual – because not every transsexual wants you to know the truth.

Calibration Series Pt. 4: Should You Calibrate to Her Personality?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

calibrate to her personality
How should you calibrate your approach to a girl’s personality? Or, more importantly, should you even bother with this at all?

Welcome back, gents!

In this vast series on calibration, we have so far covered 3 key subjects:

Scrawny to Brawny: The Ultimate Guide to Bulking Up for Hard Gainers

Guest Contributor's picture

By: Guest Contributor

scrawny to brawny
If it’s hard for you to build muscle, this is the guide you want. The hard gainer’s approach to going from scrawny to brawny, pretty darn fast.

I remember being in high school – oh, what an awkward time. I had just gone through puberty, my voice was beginning to get deeper, and I had a newfound infatuation with women. I was a pretty attractive kid, and quite a few girls were interested in me, but there was just one problem – I was what’s known as a hard gainer.

Hard gainers are typically guys with a very fast metabolism who, no matter how much they eat, just cannot seem to put on any muscle. You go to the gym, spend HOURS working out, eat as much as you can stomach, and follow all the bodybuilding advice you get from the “experts.” And what do you have to show for it? Some scrawny arms, tiny shoulders, and a flabby little gut.

I’m sure that a lot of guys can relate to this. You see the jacked dudes walking around at your local college campus, nightclubs, etc., and you wonder how in the hell they do it. “How does someone get 22-inch biceps without steroids?”

We know that being strong and in shape is an important factor when it comes to your fundamentals and generating physical attraction, but being able to sport BIG muscles is even better.

Like many reading this, I didn’t have BIG muscles. I weighed a whopping 125 pounds soaking wet when I was 18 years old, and eventually I decided I’d had enough. Fast forward five years, and I’m a bulging behemoth coming in at 185 pounds and 6% body fat. So, whether you want to shred off those pounds of fat, put on some real muscle mass, or even just look a little bit better, it’s all possible if you’re willing to put in the work.

And for hard gainers like you and me, getting big muscles takes focused effort, which is why I’ve put this article together. I’m going to give you the vital information and advice you need to level the playing field on your way to real brawn.

The Pleasure-Loving Man: Bring Out a Woman's Wild Side

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

woman's wild side
All women have a wild side. But they won’t show it except to certain types of men. The pleasure-loving man knows how to bring this side out.

Contents

Tactics Tuesdays: When She Tells You "I'm Just Not Feeling It"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

just not feeling it
Sometimes despite your best efforts, a girl will tell you “the spark isn’t there” or that she “just isn’t feeling it.” When this happens, you have 3 options on how to proceed.

I recently responded to a comment from a reader named Jason about an issue he ran into, where a girl he had a good thing going with (they’d progressed fairly far into intimacy, though hadn’t had penetrative sex yet) told him, about their kisses, that she “didn’t feel a spark.”

There’s a certain category of rejection girls can hit you with, where they object to the potential between you and them. Usually this takes the form of a girl telling you it just doesn’t ‘feel’ right, in this way or that. Examples:

  • “I just don’t feel any chemistry”
  • “The spark just isn’t there”
  • “I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it”
  • “I just don’t feel into it, I don’t know why”

The most maddening thing about this is its vagueness. Vague problems are hard problems to right.

So what do you do? Pack your things and go? Give chase and try to convince her she’s all wrong, and there was a spark? Obviously, neither of those is ideal.

There are a few superior options you can use to deal with objections like this. Those better options are the subject of this post.

How and Why Women Try to Domesticate Their Men

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

relationship domestication
Once you’re in a relationship, the domestication process begins. Why do women do this – and how do you not become totally broken and domestic?

The difference between a serious long-term relationship and a short-term relationship, from the girl’s point of view, is complex in many ways.

She expects more investment from you, emotionally and logistically. You will have to spend more time with her than you would if she was a simple hookup. You will also have to do more than simply shag her then kick her out. You will meet her friends, her parents, and go with her to events and on dates. How much you should do this is up to the precedent you want to set and how often you WANT to see her. If you LIKE doing those things, then do them.

The emotional side of things is a bit more complicated. How much emotion you should show depends on the girl. The harder she is emotionally, that much harder you should be (i.e., the less emotional you should be with her). She should be the one most in love, the most lovey-dovey, and the most cuddly. This is not up to debate. However, if you show no emotion, you can cause her to become too insecure and cause a lot of drama so that you end up proving your love in a small burst (an emotional down payment into the “I won’t suddenly leave you” fund), or she’ll seek that emotional fulfillment elsewhere, in another man (and this might turn into sexual fulfillment, too).

She also expects some level of commitment. Sexual faithfulness is far less important to women than emotional faithfulness. A hookup or having some low-key side chicks doesn’t bother women too much, so long as they know they are your queen. Obviously don’t rub this in her face if you choose to have side chicks. Be discreet and low-key.

All of this, when viewed from the complete freedom of singledom, cannot be described any other way than domestication.