Girls Chase author William Gupta (read his articles here) talks race and dating with Varoon Raja. Namely, how big a role does race play, what are the stumbling blocks different racial minorities run into, and how can men of minority backgrounds succeed with all types of women?
Topics covered in this podcast include:
Being cheated on sucks. It’s emasculating. It can feel like you’ve been judged somehow inadequate as a man.
Thinking of her off texting some man to meet up so she can let his big, hairy cock fill her up when she could’ve spent the night with you… it’s enough to drive a man loony.
As you mull the situation over more, you begin to wonder if she wasn’t faking it with you the whole time. She never appreciated you. You aren’t deserving of love. That despite your best efforts, you still aren’t good enough. You don’t, per say, know what you aren’t good enough at. All you know is that the state of “good-enough” is forever and deplorably outside your grasp.
If you were to happen across a Freudian at this time, you may start to think that this all ties back to some oedipal attachment to one of your parents. Why didn’t mommy love me! Etc. etc.
After a nap, you dismiss that curious early-20th century fancy and return to more sensible fuming about the matter at hand. The image of her happily embracing that devil of a man crosses your mind. You refuse to hate him though. She wants you to butt heads with this laughably inferior man-child over her!? What a joke…
“But why would she do this at all? From a neutral, objective perspective, I’m clearly a better lover/boyfriend/etc. than that guy…”
When she cheats on you, you may feel something like what I’ve been describing. Most of us have felt this way at some point or another. I surely have. It’s an unfortunate situation – and it’s even more unfortunate because in most cases it could have easily been prevented.
The
vapid
stares, the uninteresting conversation, the constant
references to celebrity doings and pop culture happenings you haven’t
the slightest inkling of.
She’s cute, and you’d like to sleep with her, but she’s just so... dumb.
It’s simply impossible to connect with her.
For a long time, the moment I realized a girl I was talking to was ‘dumb’ was the moment I gave up any hopes of bedding her.
I knew we had nothing in common. No shared interests. No mutual conversation topics. We could talk past each other, but we’d both merely bore one another with our respectively boring topics.
Eventually, however, I realized I was being kind of dumb myself; if there’s attraction there, it shouldn’t matter how many common interests you share... you only need one common interest: an interest in each other.
Realistically, if you want to go to bed with her, and she wants to go to bed with you, how much more ‘in common’ do you actually need?
It turns out, not much.
This is Part 3 of my series on why relationships fall
apart. Part 1
was on game-personality disconnect,
when the approach you use for getting her clashes unfavorably with the
version of ‘you’ she gets to know while actually dating you. Part 2 was
on the problem of your long-term value to her being unclear,
when she doesn’t see the value there from you she wants or expects in a
long-term mate.
Our topic for today is stability issues; basically, when she feels insecure in the relationship.
If you’re a veteran of long-term relationships (or even had your fair share of short-term ones with as-yet hopeful girls), you’ve no doubt heard the following common refrains:
“What are we?”
“Where is this going?”
“I need to know this is headed somewhere.”
“I just need to know I’m not wasting my time.”
What a woman’s telling you when she utters one of these phrases is that the stability of the relationship is lacking, and she needs you to calm the rocky seas.
These are just the surface of the ocean, however. There’s a whole body of seawater and a thousand leagues beneath it you must grasp if you’re to prevent stability issues capsizing your relationship.
In a PM, one of our readers asked the following question:
“I know there is a lot of material out there that covers this stuff. However I also know you must do things differently. For example you're probably the only seducer I've read who says you don't care about social proof. To me this makes it clear that you have incredible seduction skills, as you actually overcame this barrier. This is insane to me because so often in bars I feel like girls aren't responding to me well because I don't have social proof. And when I have girls with me they're much warmer.”
This is a an important thing to take note of, because a lot of pick-up and seduction material out there, especially when it comes to club game, emphasizes how status plays a huge role. The reader is right: I do not care that much about social proof or social status in the club. Still, I believe social proof can be an incredible tool of seduction.
So without any further ado, allow me to break this all down.
In my opinion there are two kinds of jealousy:
A lot of men feel jealous superficially and confuse it for something genuine. That is easy to fix, you just have to learn to move on. But occasionally some of us who are familiar with moving on get swept into a situation where genuine loss is felt, and no matter how hard we try we just can’t let it go.
In this article I’m going to talk about the second kind of jealousy and getting past the grief that comes with it.
Comporting oneself well, removing tics, fidgets, and other nervous gestures, and giving oneself a general bearing of a man of breeding and distinction are some of the foundations of good fundamentals, no matter what identity you strive to embody.
This is Part 2 of my series on why relationships fall apart. You can read Part 1, on what I called ‘game-personality disconnect’ (where you use one persona to get her, then adopt a different persona in the relationship) here.
Part 2 is on your long-term value proposition. That is to say, if she’s going to stick around with you, there must be a clear value proposition there over the long-term.
If you have an easy time sleeping with new women but a hard time keeping them around, it’s likely this issue is your bugbear.
The biggest part of this issue, of course, is understanding the answer to this question: what does this girl require of a man for her to stick with him long-term?
Unless you can answer that, it’s luck you rely on that she stays with you.
Today, let’s talk about how you rely on something more than luck.
Hi there. I hope you are still
rockin.
Today we will get back to
basics – because basics are so awesome!
A few days ago I received a message from a reader. It went like this:
“Hey man, I’m a big fan of your writing on Girls Chase. Your stories are legendary and they fit the mold of what I’d like to achieve. You’ve written extensively about intermediate and advanced topics. But I thought I’d write you and see if you would consider posting some more beginner material.”
[....]
“It seems to me like when you go to a club, with friends or all by yourself, you have a very clear idea of what you’re doing all the time. I would love to hear more thoughts on how you do it. What are you looking for when you first get to a bar? What’s your first priority? Are you relaxed when you get there or are you a little nervous? Do you use canned material or go with the flow? What is your intention when you first start talking to a girl?
[....]
“Think about it! And thanks for all your work... it has changed my life on a deep level.”
I cut out some parts of the message as not everything was relevant for this exact post. Now the message covered a lot of amazing topic suggestions. I might not cover them all but I will cover quite a few of them in my upcoming posts.
So the questions asked in this message were about my mindsets and intentions – so I will respond to them directly so that those of you who are curious about how I think can understand where I come from. A lot of seducers think like I do.
Let us begin.
One of the major problems I see with the men going out to meet women is that many do not set themselves up for success. They are more preoccupied with trying to impress their friends, getting validation, or simply trying to avoid negative feedback, instead of going out for the right reasons... like to get laid! This article is going to be shallow and to the point. Please sheathe your pitchforks and extinguish your torches. I am about to hit you with some knowledge.
This article is about going to a night club and getting laid. Maybe later, I will write something with more fluff-and-love but for now let me cater to those who love the hunt. Those warriors that refuse to settle and whom flourish from competition. With that being said, here are some common sense closing tactics I know the majority of you are not following through on.
I see this day in and day out with my students here in Vegas and it makes me sick. People are so focused on so many advanced tactics and tricks that they miss out on fixing the simple things that could easily increase their results tenfold with just a little effort. Do I have your attention? Good, let’s go!
