Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Touch and Subcommunication

J.J. Jones's picture

By: J.J. Jones

As I walked into my favorite nighttime venue this past Friday, I was immediately greeted by a couple of girls whom I had seen out a couple of times previously.

I gave the first a big bear hug, picking her up off of the ground for a moment, and then slowly and gently placed her back on to her feet. I then wrapped an arm around the second girl, looked down at her at an angle, then asked her how life’s been treating her.

touch subcommunication

As the evening progressed, I came to a bit of a realization as I noticed the various ways different men interacted physically with the women they were talking to.

You see, most guys pretty much fit into two camps when it comes to touching women:

  1. Guys who are less physical than they need to be, or not at all, and
  2. Creepy, manhandling weirdos

The first type gets flaked on by confused girls who don’t know what they want from them, eventually becoming the shopping partner or texting buddy, and pretty much never get laid.

The second type is the overly-physical guy. This is the guy who touches women in inappropriate ways before generating any level of attraction, hangs all over them, and causes them to become more and more uncomfortable until they find an excuse to slink away from all of the unwanted groping and clutching.

The thing about concepts such as touch compliance and physical escalation is that they get the girl used to you touching her in certain ways, but what do we know about how and what these communicate to a woman via sub-text and undertones?

Well, in addition to compliance and basic escalation, touch (when done correctly) is also an important means to implicitly communicate things to a girl, such as:

  • You are a sexual male who is confident about getting physical with women
  • She turns you on / you’re sexually attracted to her
  • You won’t disappoint her if she allows herself to be isolated with you
  • The pace you set, while fast, won’t be too fast for her
  • It also tells her that you’re just used to this, and that you touch women all the time
  • Finally, different types of touch communicate different things

That last bullet point is crucial, because you want to know what types of thoughts and feelings are being conveyed to a woman when you touch her. I will get into that a bit later in this piece, but first I want to explain how to communicate the right way via physical touch.

Don’t Talk About Fight Club and Take the Red Pill

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

An interesting thread, I noticed, had popped up on our discussion boards the other day, with guys hashing around about the “manosphere” and its various merits or drawbacks.

There were some comments about how a guy started out here on GC but went over to the “manosphere” because it suited him better. There were others from other guys talking about how they started out in the “manosphere” and ended up here and found this site to suit them better. And then there were some rather balanced posts discussing the various similarities and differences and strengths and merits of each.

I, though, would like to take a brief foray into exploring some of the mentality behind much of the most vocal and grating “red pill”-esque thought you will encounter, and that of its predecessor, “Fight Club”-esque thought; if you know what I’m talking about, then you either can’t stand it or you think it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

fight club red pill

If you’re not too familiar with the pickup community or the manosphere, this’ll be new but hopefully still interesting for you, from a “social dynamics within social hierarchies” standpoint. If you are familiar, it might give you something interesting to chew on.

CBT Series Part II: How to Do Behavior Therapy on Yourself

Halvor Jannike's picture

By: Halvor Jannike

An introduction to cognitive therapy (CT) was given in the previous article in this series, and I recommend reading it before reading this article.

A short refresher on the article about cognitive therapy is that your mind is equipped with mechanisms that ensure you don't take on physical or social risks you cannot handle, like things that generate too much anxiety.

Your fears and limiting beliefs will, with regards to seduction, often be irrational or obsolete if you have taken action to improve yourself, and CT is a way to update your mental map with more productive thoughts.

behavior therapy

But sometimes a purely cognitive approach will not work. Maybe you are doing something really wrong and have to integrate new behavior.

Or you might, for example, have absolutely no relevant reference experiences to back up the belief that you will be able to pick up a woman you don't know in advance or a woman who is very hot. And no matter how much you read that this is possible, or are told so by others, you still can not imagine it happening.

Then the pure cognitive approach must be complemented by new behavior and additional reference experiences, and now we are dealing with behavior therapy (BT).

Behavior therapy is a very big topic with many concepts and techniques; this article will go through the most relevant ones for improving your social skills. The main enemy here is social anxiety, which is intimately connected to social hierarchies. So let's have a brief discussion on how these two concepts are related.

Beating Your Girlfriend at Her Own Blame Game

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

blame gameIf you’re at all well-read or attentive on the subject of relationships, I’m sure you’ve noticed a ubiquitous trend: across cultures, across history, in nearly every relationship out there, women wear men down.

This used to be called ‘betaization’ in the seduction community, because it was the process of the male become the beta (#2) in the relationship to the female’s alpha (#1).

Give women time, and they pull this off with just about every guy.

Oh, sure, you see the exceptions – the guy who lords over his domain like a king, with a warm and doting long-term girlfriend or wife (or, sometimes, a submissive and cowering one).

But boy is it ever rare, rare, rare.

What makes it so rare? How is it that women so gradually and steadily work even the mightiest of men under their thumbs?

And if you’d like to remain the king of your castle... the lord of your domain... what can you do to prevent this – and how do you sidestep this taming process that nearly every man in a long-term relationship, given enough time, almost inevitably submits to?

4 Dos and 5 Don'ts for Interracial Dating

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

Interracial dating is a topic on the minds of many people these days, and definitely a social topic that’s come more and more to the forefront of our culture. I predict that most men in the West will have had at least one romantic encounter with a girl of a different race within the next 20 years.

interracial dating

So how does a man go about handling interracial dating the right way? It is this question that I’ll be looking to answer in this post. I’m going to cover the biggest dos and don’ts in terms of your approach and execution of interracial dating.

And I want to preface all of the information that you’ll find in this post by saying that these dos and don’ts are geared toward interracial dating in the West.

Although I’ve done my fair share of interracial dating around the globe, I am focusing on the dynamic in the West because I think it’s the most nuanced.

Moreover, since masculine-feminine roles are more traditional in other parts of the world, as long as you present yourself as gentlemen with strong masculine values and some level of substance, women of nearly any race will welcome your approach and at least give you a chance to show what you have to offer.

Why Societies Impose Sexual Moralism on Their Members

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sexual moralism

Welcome back for more sexual ethics. In this post we won’t be analyzing what is right or wrong, but instead why things are the way they are.

As this website primarily discusses sexuality, relationships, and seduction, this post will cover why certain moral attitudes around these topics are the way they are. We will also try to understand why many religions and societies advocate rather asexual behavior.

In this post we will see that the reasons for why conventional (i.e., the common way of doing things) morals are dogmatic without good justification, and then we will discuss the real justification for those morals.

As a matter of fact, we might say that, conventionally speaking, having a lot of sex is immoral. We might ask the moralist why that is so and they might answer that “it just is” or something along the line of “It’s dirty; it’s important to have some self-respect.”

These are very circular and dogmatic arguments. This is the case for many other conventional moral principles and we must expect similar types of responses when we ask someone why things like polyamory, homosexuality, prostitution, and public sex are bad.

But we are still left with the question: why do people believe these things to be bad; why are people so stuck up and anti sex? Why are the conventional morals around sexuality so restrictive? The main reasons that you never hear of will be laid out in this post.

How to Get Laid in College, Pt. II: The Slowburn

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

Wassup everybody,

This is my second entry into the three part series on The Best College Seduction Styles, a subset of my expansive College Game series.

If you read the first article of the series, detailing my particular style, “Big Man on Campus” (BMOC), and didn’t find its exuberance attractive, then perhaps Slowburn is for you.

If BMOC is Muay-Thai – aggressive and forward – then Slowburn is Ninjutsu – subtle, but deadly when executing precision strikes.

how to get laid in college

How to Be Respected by Men and Women Alike

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

‘Respect’ is a thing we get a lot of questions on around here. Most regularly, how to command it. How do you make others respect you?

The easy answer is, you earn it. But that’s only half of the equation.

The other half is that you demand it.

how to be respected

Some will pay you respect you do not demand. But others will only respect you if you yank the respect out of their gullet with both hands.

And whenever someone has a problem with respect, it’s always because he’s lacking on one (or both) sides of the equation:

  1. He isn’t demanding respect, or
  2. He hasn’t earned it yet

Are You a Dirty Man? Well, You Should Be

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dirty manI slept with a girl recently whose hands I pinned above her head during the act with one of mine. As I did this, she got visibly more excited, and said, “It kind of feels like you’re raping me.”

To which I whispered, with a sly grin, “And you like that, don’t you? That’s because you’re a dirty girl.” She crossed over into a peak of sexual excitement at this, and climaxed shortly after.

I was thinking about this, and about how much girls like being dirty girls (or at least thought of as dirty girls), and then thinking about the fact that women often consider me a dirty man. I won’t go into specifics because I don’t want to freak out readers who are still coming out of their sexual shells, but there’s not much you can do with girls that I won’t get a kick out of. And they always love all it themselves, of course.

Even before we make it to the bedroom I’m dirty though; I say dirty things to women I haven’t slept with yet, and to women I’ve just met. I touch them in inappropriate ways in inappropriate places. I laugh off some hygiene “rules”, and act a little impulsively and don’t know anything about popular culture fixtures they plan their lives around. I don’t remotely fit into their little neat life plans, and they can’t get enough of it.

And it strikes me that one of the subconscious dividing mentalities between men who do well with women and men who do not is this enjoyment at rolling around in the dirt... being at home in it. Because most men want to be clean, organized, and on-point, not loose and dirty. Dirt – and loss of control – frightens and reviles them. Dirty stuff SHOCKS and appalls them.

Yet this is a bigger signal to women about where a man ranks in the sexual hierarchy than you might think... and being uptight about cleanliness and orderliness and maintaining social politeness rules is just one of those things the kinds of guys girls long for aren’t. Mr. Über Sexy of 50 Shades of Grey-ville and Mr. Neat-&-Clean of Tidyville are two very different people, and you get one guess as to which one women want.

Cut the Inner Safety Monologue and Learn to Fly

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

The path to independence and confidence is not safe inner monologues, but your ability to face your anxieties and become strong enough to start cutting those inner monologues off.

You have to expect to move beyond safety and face off against greater anxiety. It is a hard path, but it is a path to forging a stronger identity, and a stronger identity will make everything come a lot more smoothly.

We all start out “feeling safe”, and think things like “improving is for those other guys”, and we grow comfortable feeling superior to them. You might have found yourself after a long day starting to drift into thought patterns where you try to lift yourself up by tearing others down in your mind: “He is just a fool”, “She just is superficial”, “If only they were smarter they would have seen my value.”

safety monologue

Ironically, however, this feeling of safety and superiority doesn’t help you out; it just cements weak behavior patterns and leaves you likely to have poor coping skills in future situations.