Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

When Should You Start? Right NOW

Ross Leon's picture

By: Ross Leon

A reader writes in:

“Hey Girls Chase, I'm finding these articles to be quite eye opening. You guys seem to really get what's happening as opposed to other people out there who try to help guys with this stuff.

I think I'll finally be able to put myself together for a social life with your guidance.

I have a question. I haven't left my family's house, and I'm 27 years old. I have spent a long time in my life struggling with my own self-image and trying to figure out what it takes to have a life where I'm respecting myself. I said I'd be brief. So I'll just get right to it.

Is it possible for me to be attractive to women and get a social life? I'm not looking for sympathy. I just want to know how I should feel about my circumstances. I've always been shunned in school growing up and don't really have a deep positive impression of human beings. I've only ever had one girlfriend and long story short she was ugly and entitled. I know how to be civil and polite. I know how to feel happy, I can empathize with other people, but I don't know how to make people want to be a part of my life. Thankfully, there's more to me than this sob story.

I've been working out and reading a lot of this type of stuff and it's been helping me to be better noticed and better treated by members of the opposite sex. I'm determined to change my life but the girls are looking at me NOW. I'm about more than just “nothing”. Isn't there a way I can dive into sex and relationships?

Does me currently living with my mother and father automatically disqualify me from using the stuff I learn on your website on women and possibly experience the benefits? I've seen some SEXY women eyeing me and drawing close and the battle in my head is always the same. “You don't know what to tell her.” So I say to myself, “I'll learn” but then my head pull out the ol' “mama's boy still lives with his mama and daddy”.

Does it matter? If it does, how much does it matter? I have a feeling I'll find the answer to that soon enough as I read. I tried looking on your site for an article about this and the search turned up empty. So why not tell me what you think? If I still live with my parents will it get in the way of hooking up with or starting something regular with a girl I'd really like?

Thanks for your help

Jonathan”

when should you start

Sounds very familiar.

This is something that I ran into quite often in the past. I thought it’d always be a good idea to put off doing things until later. I’d learn how to get better with women later on. I’d wait until I finally got to the point where I felt “sexy” enough to start approaching women. I’d put off improving my fundamentals so that I could fix something else in my life.

Eventually, I ended up becoming a huge procrastinator, and only ended up working on those things when I finally got so fed up with myself that I had to do something to dull the pain of failure.

It all started with excuses popping into my head, saying that I’d be better off doing things later. But, like most things that I put off until later, they just never got done. I never became better at seduction simply by thinking to myself, “I’ll do it later”. I only got better when I took action.

Dale Carnegie's Most Life-Changing Piece of Advice

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A little while back, when I was in my early 20s, I first read Dale Carnegie’s perennial bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People. Many of the approaches described within it were things I knew, or affirmed what I felt, but sometimes the best kind of advice is this way; you think you’re doing things right, and then someone far more experienced than you comes along and says, “Yep, you’ve got it. In fact, take what you’re doing now and do it more.”

dale carnegie

Because it’s been nearly a decade since I’ve read it, most of its lessons have faded from my mind, and all I remember about it was one key lesson from it. However, that lesson has influenced how I’ve dealt with people in such a profound way that I don’t think I’ll ever forget it no matter how much time passes.

[edit: was rolling Napoleon Hill’s Laws of Success up as one of Carnegie’s works... forgive the brain fart]

Yet, pound-for-pound, the key takeaway from Win Friends and Influence People for me has been one of the best takeaways from any book I’ve yet read period.

Before I tell you what that is, let me tell you what I’ve noticed about how most people communicate with one another.

What to Do When a Girl Won't Go Home with You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl won't come homeA reader named Konstantin writes in:

“Hi Chase and the team!

I have read most of your articles, and especially those on moving fast and inviting her home. I have a question: it happened to me quite a few times now that I invite a girl home with me, and she gets ever so close to coming, but changes her mind at the last moment, and there's nothing I can do to change her mind back. Just tonight, actually, she was giving me some resistance, but got off the subway at the stop next to mine. But when "our" train was arriving, she suddenly said, once again, that she should go home, and after three "no"s I let her go. I knew for a fact that she liked me, but what did I do wrong that prevented that last push from happening? If you can answer that in a post or an email, that would be very much appreciated.”

Few things in seduction are quite as irritating as having a girl you’ve spent an hour or two or more talking to and working with and navigating around countless social obstacles bail on you 2 yards from the goal line.

It feels like you’ve been suckered... that whole night, which you had already checked off as “in the bag”, in an instant goes 180 degrees and becomes a fruitless night.

Most of the time, when you have a girl bail on you like this, you will never, ever hear from her again, either. You switch from being about to become lovers, and possibly entering into each other’s lives for a long time hereafter if you both really get along pretty well and want to keep seeing one another, to being a couple of strangers it didn’t work out with (and you’re some guy she “almost made a big mistake” with).

So what do you do when a girl won’t go home with you?

How to Have Sex with American Girls

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

We’ve written many posts on this site geared toward Western men on how to game and have sex with women from various regions of the world. Such as:

These are all great pieces with loads of information to sink your teeth into courting foreign beauties. But what about guys from other parts of the world who want to game here in the States, or American girls traveling the world or living abroad? What about those who want a taste of lady liberty for themselves?

american girls

This one is for you.

Why is Mainstream Dating Advice So Ineffective?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A few weeks back, in the comments section of “Real Empiricists Test”, a reader asked the following question regarding the gulf between mainstream dating advice and what’s taught on this site:

“Is there an article on this, or maybe someone can answer this outright. But why is it that mainstream dating advice is so contrary to the dating advice given on this site ? Why is it that there is almost no agreement ?”

mainstream dating advice

The short answer, of course, is that what we focus on here is entirely techniques and strategies that:

  1. Achieve efficient, effective, reproducible results

  2. Are tested out and balanced against alternatives and discarded if found ineffective

  3. Are coming from people who’ve devoted a large chunk of time specifically to this field

... whereas most mainstream dating advice is coming from regular folk with limited experience dating and even less time spent studying and analyzing dating and sex and relationships and social dynamics both in the field and with other likeminded folk.

But the fact of that matter is, it goes a lot deeper than this. There’s more to this clash of ideologies than simply field experience vs. non, and it mainly has to do with who’s giving the advice, and what their objectives are in giving it.

How to Be a Good Kisser: 5 Steps to Confident Kissing

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

Something that everyone I coach always wants to know is how to be a good kisser. How do you kiss so well, so luxuriously, so lustily, so confidently, and so well that your partner looks at you after and just says, “Wow”?

how to be a good kisser

Confident kissing is not only the mark of a man who can kiss well, it is the mark of a man who can win over women without need for words. It is little shock then that the way you kiss a woman can make or break her very perception of your character, and effect whether she will hang around or not.

It is a fortunate thing then that I am about to throw you in the deep end and drown you in the techniques that will have her begging for more.

I am going to run you through some aspects of kissing rather quickly, so fasten your seat belts and let your imaginations wander and do work! I will start with mindsets, then move to what is important: techniques to ensure you pull that off, and then advanced. I hope you all don’t mind me forcing you to keep up, but the way I see it, if you really want to kiss right, let us not mess around, let us get stuck in, and get those girls thinking “what a man”!

How to Dispel Lingering Bitterness from an Old Relationship

Ross Leon's picture

By: Ross Leon

Ending a relationship with a loved one is a difficult task for any man to endure. You know you’re supposed to replace them, not chase them. You know that going out and having fun is the better alternative to rumination. But even after learning these things, you may not be able to recreate those feelings you felt in that relationship you look back on with rose-colored glasses.

I know the exact same feeling. In my early days of finding this website, while I was still dealing with approach anxiety and the inability to pull the trigger, I found a girl who ended up taking charge and pulling the trigger herself. Unfortunately for me, when she did this, she was clearly the one in power.

dispel bitterness

Fast-forward a couple of weeks later, and my lack of experience made the relationship go sour. Logically, I was completely fine with the relationship ending, as I knew it would only be a negative influence on my life to attempt to string her along, as I would be in the position of chasing her... but emotionally, things were very different.

The Awesome Power of Tension

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

We’ve talked about building and using tension in several articles on here before:

build tension

... and we’ve also talked about defusing tension, often with humor, as well as why it’s good to not be TOO focused on making girls laugh (and defusing all the tension).

But I want to zero in on the topic of tension specifically, because I see a lot of people still not using it right, or nervously defusing it.

The fact is, tension lies at the foundation of power, and when you wield it correctly, you enable yourself to do all kinds of things socially, sexually, and romantically.

Why "Moving Slow" is the New Moving Fast

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In the ongoing sexual arms race between men and women, the strategies for securing the highest caliber mates the most reliably are under constant evolutionary pressures. What that means for you is that as women get more accustomed to a certain kind of approach, that approach stops working, and certain other approaches must come to the fore.

Of course, as everyone knows, there’s nothing new under the sun, and just as what was new becomes old, what was old becomes new, in the ever-repeating cycle of life and love.

move slow

So it may surprise you to find out that, while the mantra of this site has been “move fast” since its date of conception, the times have changed, and in order to keep up with those changing times, we’re changing our tune too.

Because, you see, moving fast is so 2000s.

These days, moving fast is the old moving slow... and moving slow is the new moving fast.

Why Women Want Multiple Partners

Colt Williams's picture

By: Colt Williams

There have been many articles written on this site about fidelity (or lack thereof) and on unraveling what society has told you in order to reveal the true nature and promiscuity of women. These are articles like:

And lately a lot of men in my life have been realizing that a woman’s relationship status is often tenuous and – even more concerning – actually a poor indicator as to whether or not she would actually sleep with you (even if that status is “married”). It’s definitely an unsettling realization to come to. But, unsettling by whose standards? Certainly not by Mother Nature’s.

multiple partners

Up until this point we have yet to fully cover why women want multiple partners. But believe it or not, it’s actually in a woman’s best interest to sleep with multiple men. So today I’m going to cover why women take on – or desire to take on – multiple partners and how we as men can adapt, understand, and come to terms with that fact.