What to Do When a Girl Doesn't Text Back | Page 2 | Girls Chase

What to Do When a Girl Doesn't Text Back

Chase Amante

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girl doesn't text backA reader writes in:

I found something strange. Everytime Im having long interactions with girls in pickups on the streets, I bomb. I mean, she dont text back. It reminds me of Murphies law: If everything cant go wrong, IT WILL. I recently approached 10 women of which gave me attraction signals. They touched me, called me cute, called me the most interesting person, smiled, was high energy, stayd 20 minutes with me, and asked me to text them. I had good interactions with them and was smoothe and confident. I bonded wtih them and made plans to see them. They never texted back and I dont nkwo why.

I did another experiment where I cutted my interaction short about 3 minutes and asked for the number. Most of the shorter ones agreed on dates and texted back, and note, most of them gave me negative signs first. Is it because women use guys that they give fake "attraction signals?" Why do they seem so much into me at first but never bother to actually get into contact again? It happens over and over so much that when a girl give me signals thats too good to be true,I can almost predict that I will never hear from her again and Im alwasy right. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but I think the women who give you immediate signals are maybe time waster"? And what is your thoughts, do you find the same?

Brings back memories.

When I stepped up my activity levels in 2006, I noticed an odd trend: the women I spoke to for longer periods of time, and seemed more into me, ended up being less likely to ever return my phone calls or texts.

How bizarre, I thought to myself. This certainly doesn't make much sense.

But the numbers didn't lie. So, I did the only logical thing I could think to do: I worked to shorten the time I'd spend with girls whose phone number I intended to grab, and only spend a longer time with girls I intended to take home that day or night.

Almost overnight, the problem of girls not texting back and girls not calling back all but disappeared. But it still left me scratching my head a bit... why did spending more time with a girl and having her come to like you more lead to her falling off the face of the Earth and not returning text and calls later?


Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase! Like I mentioned in the subject, I really appreciate your work and dedication. I've read almost all your articles, and I internally feel more confident in myself. I'm totally new at this, so I'm just starting to implement it. What lead me to your articles is that I saw a girl at a rave party.

I saw her getting water and I commented on her costume. Then we parted ways. Twenty mins later, I saw her again and she came up to me. (This was before I read your articles) I started talking to her about her costume. I kind of deep dived but could have done a better job. For example, I asked her about her major and asked why that major.

Near the end, She had to leave with her friends (I should have told her to stay with me instead after I read your article on being persistent). She ASKED ME for my number. Then she left. Couple of hours I texted her.
Here's the conversation:

Me: Hey Katy, it's Cody. You get back safe?

12hrs later:
Her: Yeah we got back fine. Thanks :)

1 hr later:
Me: Good :) How're you?

1 hr later:
Her: I'm decent. How was the rest of the party?

I'm really not trying to sound corny, but it sucked after you left. I was pretty pooped, and my friend was dancing with someone so I waited for him so we could get on the bus together.

No respond:

2 days later (this is when I read your article)
Me: Happy Halloween Katy! Epic plans for the occasion?

No respond:

2 days later:
I called her. No answer....

I was planning to wait 1 week and call her and leave her a text, if she doesn't reply, saying, What's your weekend look like? Let's grab a bite.

Anonymous's picture

My 2 cents: She's just not interested dude, suggest you look for other chicks.

I think that you showed her a little too much interest (not the good kind), and too much detail (waiting for friend to finish dance before boarding the bus?) Either be more direct ex:

Her: I'm decent. How was the rest of the party?
You: It was cool, hey i liked talking to ya, let's talk again, what's your schedule this week?

No need to tell her about your friend or that you take the bus or whatever. Be mysterious and do less (sprezzatura)

Anonymous's picture

have not seen a girl for years got up with her two nights ago and now she does not respond back to me anymore, I do not get it, have I been used? She told me she was going through a divorce but seem pretty into me a few nights ago but not now. Where have I gone wrong?

Anonymous's picture

Hello Chase,

I was into a girl for several months now, long distance, and we text a lot even sexting.

- We played games online
- Dirty talks
- laugh a lot
- got personal in our life.


Now, when sexting becomes too much she became more resistance seeing those pictures - I accidentally sent once, and she got mad with me. So she "blocked" my text message for two weeks which I understood. Then after two weeks.

Then we texted as normal, however, as week progressed she became busy as usual with the word "I am busy" which I totally understand that. I have to keep texting her otherwise she wouldn't text me to begin with - persistence. Eventually, I found out she went elsewhere and decided to fly down so I could see her in person. So with a lot of planning in mind, I asked her if she wanted to see me. The response I got was "I guess it wouldn't hurt.." so I went in deeper, "what restaurant you're interested in going?" She got all excited and picked the expensive restaurant in the city - I accepted. Then she looks forward to see me. Then several days later I texted her and all I got was one worded response:

- yeah
- I guess
- Ah well
- I dunno

It wasn't like that before so I am trying to figure out how to engage her and have her become more interested in me.

Secondly, texting/webcam and seeing in-person is two completely different world? No? And if she found out that I am a different person, in-person, then her perspective might change and find me more attractive?

How do I engage in a lively conversation in-person when I see her, so she can stick with me longer and perhaps.. you know ;).

Coakley's picture

She's growing up and realizing your online relationship is silly. What you're doing is entirely wrong, you said it yourself "how do I make her more interested in me", you cannot make anyone interested in you, you have to appeal to people; if you do not have what appeals, people will not stay interested in you.

Fact is; you're far away and sending her nothing but dirty photos and 'sexting' as you say, that's what you've told this community. Women mature faster than men, she's probably realizing that this is stupid and a waste of time, a sort of 'fling' to get her juices flowing.

I guarantee you at that rate, it lasts 1-week more of texting and it will be absolutely nothing. She'll stop talking to you, responding to texts; she might even change her number or stop using whatever program you talk on.

If you're looking for a female, give yourself a little more potential aka - grow some balls, don't go chase some kid on the internet, go out and find someone, talk to them, don't hide behind your phone/internet. Women want confident men, 99% of the time men are overly confident online, not in person, though. That same overly confident online-man in person could be timid, shy and totally repulsive in confidence. Simply choke up the balls and say hello, I've done it multiple times, gotten multiple numbers. It also depends what women you 'shoot' for, I go for the educated looking, younger looking successful types, because that is exactly what I am. They tend to realize immediately that I am independent, attractive, good sense of humor, I make a good income and can certainly afford to take them out or take care of them if the relationship progressed.

If you're nothing but an 'at home' person that lives with mom and dad and are older than 21, you need to consider getting yourself out into the real world. Move out, get a good job, stop texting women online and asking for online-imaginary girlfriends, get out into the real world.

I mean you have to know.... online-dating like you're doing is a the laughing stock of the dating community... it's pathetic.

camron's picture


Liked the articles. I wanted your opinion on this girl i've been talking to the past 2 months. Started off cool and got a little bit closer so she gave me her number. I called the next day and i got no response. Figured she wasn't interested when i didn't hear back so i let it go. Went back to the restaurant she worked at with some friends and she came up and asked why i didn't call. Told her i did but guess it didn't go through. I asked her out and she agreed but then she flaked. Then the next day she asked me out, and flaked again. So as i am about to say screw it, she sets a time and day to meet up and i don't hear back so threw her a text saying, " i assume tomorrow is a no go, but wish you coulda let me know". She responds with "why don't you decide what you wanna do". I didn't know her side of town and let her know but said how about breakfast at 9 before you go to work.? after that, no texts back or anything. I was just confused because i had asked her once, yet she's asked me twice in the past 2 weeks and still flakes out. Not sure what i should think.

B's picture

Would very much appreciate your opinions and thoughts.

I recently started texting an ex over the past week and things were going very, very well- I was teasing her, accusing her of trying to seduce me, she would laugh and it was just an all out good, fun week.

But two nights ago, I was a lil, tired, bored, and not in my right state of mind and she was texting me and it was fine but, the last text I sent her I commented on a photo she sent me and ended up saying something like- that's cute, you do seem like a nice girl.

My ? is, what would be the proper way to go about either letting her know that I wasn't my textual self that night and 2, if I somehow made her feel less of herself, how can I raise that up so that we're both enjoying our communication again? I think this a very beautiful, fun loving, fun girl and we have a connection together.

Your prompt response would be very much appreciated,

Thank you so much,


MilMan's picture

Would like to get a little insight on this.
There's a girl that I started talking to early in the summer and we hit it off really good and really want to start going out this May once schools over but we can't see each other due to being separated with college. Whenever we go on break we've texted a lot and when we are at school we message each other over Facebook every now and again since i can't use my phone. However for this break I've texted her a few times and she hasn't texted me back at all except once. It's been about three days and I've sent her a few messages asking how her day was, thinking that she was just busy since she responded to one of my messages yesterday morning. However ever since then I haven't gotten a single message back from her. I'm wondering what this means and what I could also do once we actually are able to start dating to make the first date nice and special.


MilMan's picture

Would like to get a little insight on this.
There's a girl that I started talking to early in the summer and we hit it off really good and really want to start going out this May once schools over but we can't see each other due to being separated with college. Whenever we go on break we've texted a lot and when we are at school we message each other over Facebook every now and again since i can't use my phone. However for this break I've texted her a few times and she hasn't texted me back at all except once. It's been about three days and I've sent her a few messages asking how her day was, thinking that she was just busy since she responded to one of my messages yesterday morning. However ever since then I haven't gotten a single message back from her. I'm wondering what this means and what I could also do once we actually are able to start dating to make the first date nice and special.


tyler's picture

So I'm a junior at college and I met a gorgeous freshman girl at one of my house parties. I approached her, talked to her and her friend a little bit here and there making sure she knew it was my house she was at. I gave them both free cups and went on and did my own thing. Danced with other girls in front of her, checked in with her every once in a while making sure she was having a good time. I guess I spent too much time with other people because I turned around and she had left. I eventually got her number through facebook and we started texting right away a LOT. There was an obvious attraction, and we partied together at my house and other parties the whole next weekend. She ended up staying over because she couldn't leave (her friend was puking in my bathroom) and it went really well. We talked and kissed a lot a lot of touching here and there but no sex.

Long story short we've been talking/hooking up the past 2-3 weeks with obvious interest and she's been over a lot and we both stated many times we wanted to get to know each other. (her and her friends absolutely loved my house, my friends, and hanging out with us.. we showed them a great time multiple times). But we recently went on thanksgiving break, and i found out we had met only weeks after she broke up with her long-term boyfriend. The day we go home for break, her ex was having problems: death in best friends family etc. and she told me about how she went to see him and talk it out and they both cried a lot. I tried to comfort her through texts although it was awkward to talk about. For the past 5-6 days she has been so weird with texting. Real short, not very interesting, and a lot of no-answers. Im always the last one to say something even if were in the middle of a conversation. Its confusing me because we hit it off so well and now that we went home for break for the week shes acting different.

Im not sure if shes talking to her ex again, or her being home wants to get away from the 'older college boy' shes been seeing, or if i'm trying to hard and trying to contact her too much. I go back to school soon and im not sure how to approach this situation. I'm very interested in this girl and my whole approach with this girl so far has been so different than any other, I'd usually go for the hook up. Were compatible in many ways and I don't wanna miss this opportunity. I think about her so much that its surprising me.

Any advice would be appreciated, I just wanna win this girl and I may be asking myself too many questions too early. Thanks and get back to me as soon as you can because I'm doing this day by day!!


Anonymous's picture

I study in the same course as this girl in university. We hang out quite often and I think she is kind of into me. We are kind of close and I am almost positive that she enjoys her time conversing with me. She called me on skype the other night asking for help in the work and we messaged back and forth for about 2 hours before talking for about another 3. The thing is, she takes quite sometime to reply my texts but she usually always does and in fact she initiates some texts as well. But when I eventually asked her out just for a casual meet up, she doesn't reply and when I texted something else, she does.. this is really really confusing me because firstly, I don't know how to react to the earlier text which had no reply and secondly, I don't want to end up being in a same class as her feeling awkward all the time. Pls help me. I've never fallen like this before.

Anonymous's picture

This may be hard to hear but in the age of instant connectivity with Skype or facebook or any messaging service it becomes easy to either bullshit or be insincere with someone. Taking things old school is still king in this situation. You say you know her somewhat well then it shouldn't be very hard to approach her in person. Find a time where you "accidentally" happen to bump in to her whether this be at the campus library or a coffee shop, quiet times generally work best. Greet her with a smile and express surprise, then casually ask.how she's been. Then bring up a mutual memory that you both share, either a conversation topic you had earlier or something else but it has to be positive. Talk for a bit and compliment her on something that you really admire about her just no generic ones. Some thing specific. THEN MAKE A REASON TO LEAVE WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT. But before you leave ask her to hook up later be direct. "I really like talking to you. I'd like to take you to lunch next Friday." That's where you wait. If she doesn't follow a no with any other day suggestion, suggest a different day, if no still, ask what day would be best for her. If still no or I don't know... bad news move on. Women want confident men. Someone that knows what they want and goes for it. Sadly most men can't make the decision to either act or move on when you know your wasting your time. Remember its not always in the cards even if you hit it off with someone. If it falls flat then help her with what you can be friendly but don't become her friend. You wont be able to stop your feelings and you'll always have that hope shell change her mind. There's 150 million women in the united states your odds are pretty good.

MatTy's picture

Hey I was wondering if I could get a little advice so I got out of a 8 year relationship about six months ago and as soon as I changed my relationship status on FB my first real girlfriend from about ten years ago messaged me as she had recently become single too. I had kind of stayed in touch with her over the recent years and she seemed excited to meet up so after four months of her kind of avoiding dates but texting me every once in a while to say hi and wish me a good day I finally got her to offer to be my date for my work Christmas party which was last Saturday. We went there and I thought we hit it off I ended up really liking this girl so much then she said I could sleep at her place. But I walked her to her door and said I was gonna catch a cab home, I really like her and didn't want to treat her like a one night stand. So I hugged her goodbye and texted her the next day said I had a great time she said she did too and she would love to meet again soon. Couple days later I messaged her on facebook just to say hi and got no response and she hasn't messaged me back in two days. Should i text her or Will that scare her off? Advice?

Anonymous's picture

You didn't go in for the kill when you could. Girls WILL stay interested for awhile long as you can remain nonchalant about it. But they will steadily lose interest if all you do is text them/whimper about like hamlet. My advice is to call her or find her if possible (in a totally socially acceptable situation of course).

Jogi's picture

Hi Chase

I really like your blog keep it up!! Well, I have this girl in mind. We became close at the end of our high school year and before that we didn't really talk and know much of each other. Well, she promissed me that we would go to the arcade and have a blast time during the summer but this didn't happen. Well, one day I was in a mall alone and I saw her working. So instead of going up to her and talk, I texted her and said I saw you and bla.. bla.. bla... Then she told me to wait for her so she could finish her work. I said no problem and I wait for her for a couple of minutes. Then we actually met, we talked but it was small talk. I couldn't go for like the serious talk your talking about. After that, I accompanied her to her house and we left from there with a hug and a kiss to the cheeks. Then later on, she texted me that it was really nice seeing you. I said me too and we should hang out some more and she said of course. Well, I've asked her out many times but she couldn't because she had so much homeworks and bs. But, one friday night I was able to bring her out and we ate for dinner. I personnaly think that she enjoyed being with me by the way she was talking to me and all. Well, a couple of days later I texted her saying that I really enjoyed hanging out with her and if she could hang out some more, but I didn't get any reply. Well, I texted her earlier asking how are you blaa.. blaa.. bla.. and she was texting me fast. Then she didn't reply after I said that I enjoyed with her. I obviously didn't get to crazy about it. Well, what are your thoughts about this girl? Do you think she likes me or is she just being nice to me? I mean I remember talking to her once and she said: Oh I can't wait to see you!! and bla.. bla.. bla..
But I didn't really get it why she said that. Anyways I'm planning on making a move, do you know what I could do also?


Anonymous's picture

I recently moved and I have a girl that lives around the corner. I got her number and we texted a for a while then we met up, because we live near each other, she came to my house. We was in my bedroom watching a movie then we started talking, she told me about her ex's then after I went down her pants. That's about it, I walked her home after this and she was holding my hand. When we got near her house she kissed me and I asked her what does this mean? she replied 'I will see you again'. So I thought I was 'in there' Normally Its easy from here right? but things didn't go that way. After like two days I started noticing she wasn't texting me like before. She was but like not as before, I think we texted a bit to much? I think I was trying to carry on the conversation through texts too much. I didn't think after that night I'll still be trying and you know the more I felt rejected the more I panicked and texted random stuff. Now it has got to the point that she replies like 10-15mins late and today she blanked two of texts and she gave me the 'I didn't get the text' I know it's a lie and I did get mad, but I didn't react because I am a bit experienced but I'm not used to being in this position, you can say I got attached and this girl is one of them that always has boys after her. What to do?

Anonymous's picture

So there is this girl that i just met in class, she has noticed me before and I towards her. There was a group project that needed to be done, so me being bold goes and ask her to be my partner and she happily accepts. Everything was going uphill from there. A few days later i asked if she had a facebook and I added her. That same day when I added her she gave me her number without me asking. I was happy, but nervous; we ended up texting that that,but i noticed a flaw that when i text her she takes a while to respond. I didnt really pay attention towards it as we will text almost every day for the past 2 weeks. I thought everything was going great,but then i started to notice her barley coming to class and her not texting me back on the same day probably like 2 days later or so she will respond. So I started to investigate by going on her facebook and saw some dude she recently added and pics of them together. I was shocked, but i didnt give up and keep texting her till this day, but no responses.
What do I do?

Jim's picture

Hi chase

I was with this girl at schoolies that was for one week ,the whole time she was touching me , seemed the she was into me.
We did "it"most nights and talked a lot during the day. Whilst there I added her on Facebook same as with other people I had met.
She said that the last night that she would like to catch up
I left early and she stayed behind for a few more days
When I was certain she was back from schoolies and in the city I facebooked her
Asking how she was and how where the rest of the schoolies . It's been about three days since then and no reply she's been online but I don't want to seem pushy but also don't want to wait anymore what should I do?

Tx5johndoe's picture

So I met this girl via Internet, she seemed interested as was I, so we talked for I while over email then I got her number. We talked for a few hours, getting to know each other (yes, txting is not the beat way to do that) but I didn't wanna call right off the bat, the conversation was very high powered and things were going great, I finally asked if she any free time soon where we could meet up in person and get to know each other a little more,(maybe to soon, you tell me). I had to meet with a friend so I said that she could call later if she wanted, she says "how bout you just text me later:), I say alright will do. After the meeting I text her and her mood seemed to have changed, just shorter answers, I say well I'll let you go (it was late) hit me up sometime, she say's "I'll hit you up tomorrow:)" I say "sounds good" then she sent a :). This is day two and still no txt back, what should I do??

Keith Brown's picture

Two weeks of great texting and phone calls led up to a great Saturday night dinner. We texted funny things back and forth to eacher other at least every other day. We seemed to get along well and both have minor daughters around the same age. We discussed were we might go next, and texted each other what a nice time we had. Then silence....Left a voicemail Monday and Wednesday, followed by two short funny texts and have not heard anything back. She has a very busy job, however, she has alsways returned text messages. Wondering what my next step is...Don't want to blow it with this lady...

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

So I met this girl a couple of weeks ago at a small party. I spent all night hanging out with her and we had a great time. I don't usually have any trouble getting girls to come home with me. That's not the issue here, I actually like this girl, but I've spent so much time getting girls to sleep with me, I've forgotten how to get one to actually like me ha. One of the main issues here I think is that we had sex twice that night. Later on she said she was sorry we did, that she doesn't usually do things like that but that she liked me, then I took her home. I got her number and texted her for a day or two, and then I took her to dinner 3 days after we first met. We had a good time. I text her the next day and we talked for a bit. Then I figured I'd giver he some down time, so i didn't text her for two days. then yesterday we were talking for about an hour on Facebook Chat, and during the conversation I made a lighthearted, friendly request to see her again for a second date. But she never answered. It's been almost 24 hours and I'm not sure how to go about asking her why she didn't answer. I like her, a lot actually, but I still don't want to waste my time if she's not interested.... thoughts???

Anonymous's picture

So i met up this girls when i traveling alone at Korea. She's really nice to me and i feel, i have the connection with her with many similarities between us while we traveling. So i try to ask for her contact and want hang with her in jkt several days later. For several times, she is like go hangout with me at the row everyday. I know, i really sometimes talk passively but she is always make my day cheerful, even just a dinner. But suddenly, she's like keeping a distance with me by not calling back, take some times to reply my message, and often not replies my message. I just wonder if she has another guy to choose in between or she's really not interested with me. It change the situation 180 degrees. i know the girl is pretty and rich, but somehow it keeps come into my mind about negative thoughts.

Andrew Kamal's picture

There is this girl who's my girlfriend, we dated for a week but during that time she hasn't texted me back. I think she deleted me from facebook, even though we haven't officially broke up. She used to say she loves me even before she became my girlfriend, I don't wanna lose her, because I really like this girl alot, what shoud I do? Did I lose her forever? PLEASE HELP

Anonymous's picture

So there is this girl that I have known for a little more than a year now. She came over the other night and we had a couple drinks and got to talking blah blah blah...anyways I've had a thing for this girl for a while now and it just happened to be that she's been single for about a month. I told her how much I valued our friendship and wanted to take things to the next level. She got kind of quiet but responded that she needed some time to think about it, I said I understood but would appreciate knowing either way her decision went. Right after I said that we were interrupted by my roommate coming home and didn't get a chance to talk alone from there. It's been a couple of days and I haven't heard anything. I want to hear from her but don't want to seem like I'm rushing her so I've kept silent. Do I keep playing the waiting game or is she testing me?

Steven's picture

Here's my problem: I work as a security guard in a mall and I saw this really hot girl that works in a watch store. So I go inside browse at some watches. She comes over to me and asks if I need anything. I tell her that I wanna take a look at a certain brand. While I'm looking at it, she says that she'll give me a discount. She gives me her card and writes down the discount percentage and we talk a little bit and joke around. So the next day I go to the store off duty and I buy the watch. While I'm making the payment I ask her if she would want to go out for a drink sometime. She gives me her number (GREAT!). And this was December 14th. So, I gave her a txt the next day saying "how are you". She replys after 5 hours saying, "hey, hows it going blah blah". Txting was going good but after 8 o'clock she stops. I was thinking I said something wrong. So the next morning she txt me back saying, "hey I wasn't feeling too well so i went to sleep early". Then I respond saying, "that's no problem. how you feeling now?". Guess what? No reply. Then I see her at work the same day. I walk into her store and ask her how shes doing this and that. After about 5 minutes of talking I tell her that I have to get back to work and I'll call her later on. She says ok. So I get home from work and I thought Id call her at around 11pm. She doesn't pick up. See her again at work she said she was out and left her phone in her car. Ok fine I thought. Then I ask her, what are you doing tonight? She says I have plans tonight. Sounds reasonable I thought since I didn't make any plans with her. Then she says, just txt me and I'll let you know when I'm free. Sounds good I said. So on Sunday at work, I see she's not working. So I txt her saying, "hey how are ya?". No respond. Nothing. Even today I still didn't get a respond. Did she lose interest because I was visiting her? Even if I was why would she tell me to txt her to know when she's free? Or is she really playing hard-to-get? Is it my turn to be like that too?

ANONYMOUS's picture

This is because women are emotional.

Women are VERY emotional. If you are talking to them and they feel like the conversation is drying up or becoming 'chit chat' then they will often walk away or you will feel the energy drop. Second best choice you should be saying to yourself, so fuck!!! I don't care if the energy has dropped, but primarily you shouldn't let it happen. Go in and be confident.


You are initially talking to a girl on the street and she will be in shock. This will NEVER change. At least not for the first 2-3 seconds of interaction since people just don't talk to them on the street. So get used to them reacting this way.

What you need to show is that you don't match her shock. Be relaxed and confident. Body language, speed of speech, direction of conversation, none of the high energy camp stuff. I mean you never see James Bond jumping around trying to impress women. Instead he's a bit cheaky, sly, smooth and the woman knows exactly what he wants. Normally by, not WHAT he says, but HOW he says it. Looking into her eyes, mouth movements, etc.
Many people walk with their head down staring at the pavement, occasionally moving their eyes balls only to glance at whats ahead. This is bad. Instead make eye contact with people in the street. Smile, be happy. IF YOU ARE TOTALLY CONFIDENT WITH YOUR LIFE - YOU ARE HAPPY!

View women in a sexual way. Also understand that they are sexual creatures themselves - those are sounds of pleasure they make. Have lots and lots of conversations with women. Think to yourself afterwards - did that conversation have the direction that I wanted it to?? If yes then could you have got to the end result faster? If no then try saying something like
'Looking at your lips I think it would be a beautiful thing for us to kiss right now'. Look at her lips, talk slowly, be cheeky and presumptuous. Women are seldom going to lead the conversation so you have to do it.

The best way to not care what she thinks is to have lots of women. This will happen over time and when you enjoy the freedom that you've provided for yourself and confidence in your choice of women, it will get easier and easier.

Jogi - from reading your msg on 30/11/2011 it seems like you're being too much of a nice guy. Be a bit more judgemental of her. Tease her, push her arm when you make a joke. If you're meeting her then grab her arm and lead, be decisive. Women like this.

I could talk all day. Hasta luego!!

Ferozi's picture


Where i am doing a job, there is girl. We have a lot of time eyes interaction. But i still did not talk with her.I get her cell number from her friend, and i wana friendship with her. So please tell me how i text him what i should tell her first time via. Plz plz help me


Arthur's picture

Well ferozi in my opinion what you need to do is talk to her first and ask her personally for her number tell her you would like to get to know her better. But if you just want to go a head and text her is fine but your risking a good possibility. Since you didn't ask her for the number she can think of you as weird and totally decide not to give you a chance.

Josh's picture

Ok, so I have a girlfriend. And we talk a lot. But recently the other day her text replies came very slow or none at all. I can she she's doing stuff like on facebook. I texted her last night asking if I did something wrong, and/or if she was mad at me. She then replied later about an hour later saying, that shes sorry and and her phone died. Then she just stopped texting me. So today I texted her and she didnt answer. But she was on facebook again doing stuff. if shes on facebook she has to see my texts. I dont know what to do or say to her. I really like her, and I know she really likes me. I dont wanna keep texting her over and over again asking what shes doing and why she wont answer. Any advice will be very helpful. Please respond A.S.A.P. Thank you, Josh.

Anonymous's picture

I met this girl in the summer in france on holiday and i really got the feeling she liked me, so i went over to her and she turned out to be french. My french is ok and her english was pretty good so we managed. Nothing happened between us though cause of a storm on the last few days, but had said to add her on facebook, which i did. I have been on, off messaging her since but fairly recently all these feelings have come back and i cant stop thinking about her. The other night we were talking and i just said "heya", and she replied with this giant really exited reply saying how she is getting on and what shes doing and asking me about what im doing. We then chatted for the rest of the evening and it was great. The next evening i went on and said hi, but i didnt get a reply? How has this happened and what should i do?

Good advice up top,

thurein 's picture


OliverNorth's picture

So a 3 weeks back, i met this girl at a sort of dinner party, and we made out a bit (the scene wasn't really set to do anything more, as we both had responsibilities toward the other guests at the dinner) She texted me as she got home saying she had a good time.. i replied later the next day, trying to arrange another meet. yet i got no reply, so i left it for a day, then tried to call her, which she also ignored. she added me on facebook though, yet after a few more tries at texting and calling her, she has yet to reply. the only thing she has replied to was a facebook inbox, indicating her willingness to meet up, yet nothing in her behaviour indicates this. Normally this would be the point i'd shift focus, but there's something special about this girl. Advice?

ricks's picture

hi, chase, there is the girl i really like and she knows, but if i call her she doesnt pick, or whenever i send her a text msg, its either she replies after three days or she never replies. FOR INSTANCE, I CALLED THREE TIMES ABOUT TWO DAYS AGO, SHE DIDNT PICK, THE NEXT DAY I SENT HER A TEXT MSG, SHE NEVER REPLIED. EVEN NOW, I HAVE PINGED HER IN BBM, SHE HASNT READ AND REPLIED MY PINGS. though for now, we are far from each other, because am doing my masters in the uk, but am dawn already with studies and am thinking of going back to my country to meet her. what do i do, plssss, i really like this girl?

Jordathan 's picture

Thank you for your post sir, very helpful, I almost made my normal mistake again.. Asking the girl why she won't respond back! It started like this. My roommate recently broke up w/ his GF of a year, he came home from work the other day, and said "dude, I met the most amazing girl at work today.. She's so freaking hot! Will you come to dinner with her friend and I so I feel more comfortable?" I said for sure and we went to dinner.
Dinner went well, and the friend of the girl was so amazing!! The whole time at dinner I would catch her staring at me, I was rather nervous, but when I caught her I just smiled and went back to eating.. This happend all night. Later we go back to my house, we were sitting in the room watching videos together when she scoots next to me and gives me puppy dog eyes, and puts her head on my shoulder.. It made me smile, she then brushes my hand with hers, and again, she gives me the eyes, so I leave my hand there, and next thing I know she grabs it and starts holding my hand, I smiled at her, she smiled back and started to cuddle closer
at this point I was a happy panda, and I was content. Before she left she gave me her number, and before I passed out I text her with " it was lovely meeting you tonight, we should do this again soon" an hour went by and she responded with " you just want to use me for my harddrive" (she told me about this 3terabite external drive she just got for an amazing price) I don't need one nor have interest in buying one, just part of the friendly conversation earlier in the evening. I responded with "I'm not sure how to respond to that Lol. :) And thats not at all what I want! If anything, I'd love to take you to dinner sometime. You seem like a genuinely amazing person with a kind heart, and beautiful to boot!!" she then text back with haha, for sure let's plan on it, goodnight" the next day after work I asked her what she thought about the 49er game she was so stoked to watch that day. No response, then as I'm lying in bed, my roommate comes home, and brings the girl he likes along with the 1 I do, I came out of my room and said hello, she gave me this huge smile and said hello, they were all going clubbing, and we're super dolled up. A short while after she left I realized how dumb I was for not telling her how amazing she looked so I text her and told her that she looked beautiful tonight.. Again, no response... She seems kinda shy, but I'm not really sure, I'm confident, but not as confident as I would like, and part of me wants to know why she won't reply.. I wanted to ask her.. But feel retarded doing so. I want a chance with this girl, but I don't want to be the needy guy expecting a response moments after I call or text.. All I have going for me is we were completely sober when the cuddling took place, so it wasn't the booze.. What would be the next best step.. Give her a few days and ask about dinner... I cook rather well, should I cook or take her somewhere nice.. Both are doable, and I'm open for either.. Problem is I want to know more about her, what she likes etc. but if she won't respond, that makes things rather hard. Do you think she regrets the attention she gave me, or maybe she's nervous? I know these are hard questions to ask when you don't know her, but I'm slightly stumped.. Maybe I'm just expecting to much to soon.. In all honestly I think I may have come up with my own solution, but would love some insight from you. Thank you again for your posts.


Dave's picture

Ok, i'll cut a long story short.

Was out shopping, saw a beautiful Chinese girl (I'm british, and this is in england BTW) - decided "what the hell" and gave her my number.

A week passes, hear nothing - assume worst and put it down to practice.
Anyway, Christmas comes, and get a text from her saying "Merry Christmas"

Anyway, that starts a series of texts back and forth - her taking ages to reply to some. Turns out she's in the middle of busy exam time... so acting on advice of a chinese friend - send her encouraging texts about the exam, not expecting a response as she's busy. Anyway, recently she text me thanking me for the support, so we start texting again. Her replies are pretty short, and giving lots of mixed signals. I decide to cut to the chase and try to arrange a meet up for a coffee, even offer that she could bring a friend if it makes her feel more comfortable (on advice of female chinese friend).
No response since that...

Now, she's been hot and cold, and is clearly in a busy time of life.
I'm now currently doing radio silence for a few days, maybe a week, to see what happens.

However, not sure if I should give up, or if you could offer some advice to help get to the next stage of a date - so i can use my fantastic charm to win her over. I know that when we meet up i can blow her socks off... because i'm normally pretty good with women.

Calling is kind of out of the questions, as I realise that someone who's second language is English may not be so comfortable talking on the phone.

Any advice is appreciated... but the hot and cold approach is sending me crazy, and I hate the feeling of chasing a girl (although apparently it's more expected in Asian culture).


mikal101's picture

hey i have a few ?s to ask,

i have met this girl online on plentyoffish about a month ago... she came off as shy and curious but was still interesting. well we have not met up yet and all we do is txt. i told her im more into phone conversations but she says she is too nervous . so one day we are texting back n fourth and i set up a time to meet . well it happened to be the same time she was leaving for wisconsin for her trade show in the hospital field.

i texted her a few but minimal times while she was there nothing to needy or nething and it was fine. well while she was there with her mother in wisconsin she got on the topic that her MOther said i seem really nice and that her daughter should meet me.

now this gets me wondering is this woman ive been texting actually interested in me , i mean she talking to her own mom about a guy who she hasnt even talked on the phone. she says she feels comfy arpund me shareing information, that my thoughtfulness never ceases to amaze her. she even mentions that me not pushing to get a date with her or phone callss or sex actually draws her closer to me what am i to do

Yo bx's picture

I met this nice girl on a dating site and we were chatting for about a month. Convo was really good and we spent hours on the phone/text and on the webcam. She told me I was very goodlooking and was her type blah blah blah..We spoke about feelings and she told me stuff. at this point we are texting and calling eachother like we are already a couple. she was telling me she was never going letting me go and would never break my heart blah blah blah.. So we set a date to meet, this past weekend. She didn't live far. She was super crazy nervous and was freaking out before the date. So we meet and we hug and she gives me a kiss on the lips. Sounds good so far. We go to dinner and we are talking alot and laughing. We both ask the normal internet meeting questions.. "Do I look like my pic's/webcam".. Dinner went great. Then we decided to go to the movies, we flirted in the theather. The movie ends and we go to a bar to have a drink and talk some more. Again we are laughing and having a blast. So before I say goodnight we hug and kiss again on the lips and I ask her when would you like to do this again? She gives me this unsure answer and says she hasn't dated in a while and this is all new to her blah blah blah. So i say goodnight and go home. I get home and text her I got home and hope she got home safe, she didn't reply. So about an hour later I text her again to please text me to let me know she got home, again no reply. I call her the next day in the morning she picks up and says she just woke up. We didn't talk long. We didn't text eachother all day, ok. She texts me in the evening that she's sorry for not calling me for the day and she was having a really bad day and she sorry if she upset me. I text back i'm not upset at all just wanted to know if she got home safe that night. So its the 2nd day and she didn't even text/call me. So i called and left a normal message saying hope everything is ok and to call me,no a reply nor a call back. I did see her online at Facebook but we didn't message eachother. I don't know what's the next move on this?

Amit's picture

Hello folks,
I am facing a situation right now where I needed some good advise. I met this girl online (for the record, she is a Sagittarius), about 2 months ago. Since then we have talked over the phone and exchanged texts quite frequently. We haven't actually met yet, although we are in the same city. She did mention a couple times earlier that we should hook up. I brought that up too and she seemed fine with meeting up but wasn't available the couple times I tried to setup the date. I have been travelling for work quite a bit lately and she was sick for the last 2 weeks so it was a little tough to meet up. Something to remember is that we are of East Indian origin so dating and going out right after meeting someone does not work exactly the same way in our world as it does in the Western world (e.g. its not very common to sleep with the girl on the 3rd date).

Overall, we have shared quite a bunch about each other, our families, our view on important things in life. These conversations have been over the phone mostly as I don't prefer doing these discussions over text. Her and I have seen a few of each others pictures so we know what we both look like. Last couple of weeks she was quite sick so we didnt talk over the phone but we did exchange a whole bunch of text messages (Atleast connected once a day). At the minimum, we generally start our day by greeting each other and the night by wishing a good night. Although I must say I initiate that 7 out of 10 times.

What is confusing me is that 3 days ago is the last time we talked (it was her who called me) and our conversation went really smooth and lasted about 20 minutes. The last thing that we talked was that I mentioned to her jokingly that I would like to say that I miss you but we haven't really met so can't really say that. She laughed at that genuinely and said "yes we gotta hook up soon", then said I am at a shoe store (which mentioned earlier on in our conversation), but she will call me back. She hasn't called me back since. Also, I stepped back a little to see her take. She hasn't messaged me since then either. Messaged her once day before yesterday to ask how its going and she replied back that there are a few bitchy customers at the store where she works, but that's it. I tried calling her once after that, no response or acknowledgement of missing the call.

I am curious what my next step should be. I gave it a lot of thought and decided that I will wait for a full week since we last talked, and to close this off, I was planning to message her if everything's ok since I hadn't heard from her for a week. And if she isn't interested, I was thinking to ask her if it was something I said or is it a personality difference, etc. Would that be a good idea? How should I handle this situation? I really liked this girl but I am not sure how she feels, or if she is just being shy temporarily (which some Sagittarians are based on my research).

Sorry for the long background but I wanted to put some context for those of you who wanted to assess before giving advise.

Thank you in advance for the time you took to read and comment.


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

Great article. I have a situation where I would appreciate your advice. I got this girls number the other night at the bar. I texted her the next night just saying hey its me and it was nice to meet you last night. I also said "maybe we can go out sometime during the week" She didn't get back to me until the next day when I said, so is that a "yes, no or maybe" which after reading this I probably shouldn't of done. She said "I guess its a maybe, I just started my spring semester at school so I am busy and stuff". I said "I hear ya, and no rush".

So of course I text her the next day saying "you know it was really nice to meet you and I'd like to take you out for dinner or some drinks, I really think this could be a good thing". (I know I shouldn't of said this). She didn't respond initially and I said a few more things similar to that and she said " hey sorry I was out to dinner". Basically she said "She appreciates the compliments, but just got out of a really serious realtionship with a guy and not looking for that."

I know for a fact I was coming on way to strong and texting her to much for just getting her number a few days ago. Do you have any advice for me on how I can fix this? I know she goes out to some of the same places I go to during the weekend, should I maybe just keep it cool and talk to her there, or avoid seeing her and getting back to her in a week or two?

My whole thing is why did she give me her phone number if she wasn't interested. And it seemed like she was putting out an excuse right away with going out with me sometime from her first responses. Hey if you got any advice, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

Anonymous's picture

Hey there,
So I met this awesome girl in the bookstore, we both has the same subject and we just started talking.
Yeah I thought she was cute and we did have the same subject together, we didn't have the same class though as I asked her. We were talking back and fourth debating about this book and if we should buy it or not. At one moment, I didn't say anything and neither did she. So we were jut standing there which amazed me because we were there for awhile and she didn't want to go or anything. This is of course a complete stranger, after into the conversation, I introduced myself and we shook hands. Talking some more, our conversation was obviously coming to an end. So I took out my phone which was out since we were looking for books online. I gave it to her and asked for her number. She joking said to talk about books right. And I jokingly said yes, she gave it to me and I called her cellphone. Then we both went on our way.
I waited a whole day and text her with a greeting, a question, smiley, and a something else. This was at night so I'm tripping out why she hasn't responded yet. I knew I should've called but I know she might be sleeping so I will wait. What was I to do if she doesn't respond... wait for her like you say?
Like I would love to know her more. Please help!

Anonymous's picture

There is a girl I really like. I had her number before but I stopped talking to her and erased the number cause she would rarely respond to my text. Then recently I seen her where she works and I was friendly with her cause I wanted to talk to her again but I did not tell her and she was busy there and said she would text me later. She ended up texting me later that night "It was really good to see you." I told her it was awesome to see her too and I want us to hang out cause I honestly like her. We did hang out like a week later had a good date I thought went to a movie talked and made her laugh a bit. Then at the end of the night we were kissing which I was surprised caused I just leaned in for a hug and she kissed me. Then I kissed her back of course and we said good night.
After that night we were suppose to hang out the next week which was this past week and she cancelled on me 2 days before. I told her."I was looking forward to seeing her all week but it's cool. She text ":( i know." Since then i text her two nights in a row a day after and she has not responded to me at all. What should do I or just chalk it up as a loss?

Billy Ray's picture

Met a girl on New Year's in a friends apartment block. She was having a party next door and saw me and my friends in the lobby and invited us all in. It was fun, and there was attraction. Got her number, and she walked out to the elevator as I left and kissed me goodbye.

The next day she called me and we talked and made some plan to meet later in the week.

Then I texted but no answer, so the next day I called her. She answered but said she was sick (she was coughing down the phone) and said she would call back another time. She didn't, so I texted her a few days later - nearly a week later - hey you better how are things? etc. She texted back, asked me what I was doing which I took as a good sign, so I told her and asked her what she was doing. She texted back "been in bed all day".

To be honest, I got annoyed at that as she made no effort to really communicate so being a wiseguy, I texted back "don't be do lazy, let's go out and get something to eat". She never texted back.

Well six week later, on Valentine's night, she texted me some message saying "I will call you back shortly". I texted her "that's what you said six weeks ago! Happy Valentines".

She then called me! She said the message was a Blackberry message service which must have contacted her contact list. She seemed interested to talk to me and asked what I was up to and wondered would I come see her out at a coffee shop she was sitting in that moment. I told her I couldn't as I was going on a trip for a couple of nights to a beach resort, and then she said, "I would join you but it's not the weekend and I have to work".

So I suggested we talk later in the week and maybe meet up etc.

Long story short, my trip was cancelled the last minute the following morning so I never got to go so I texted her that it was cancelled last minute, that I was relaxing by my pool, and what was she doing later? Six hours later (8pm)... nothing. Where did I go wrong?

jake's picture

Hi Chase, can i get some advice!?!? I met this girl at a bar and really hit it off with her, she gave me her number and said we should do something. So I texted her the next day, said the usual stuff "nice meeting you, blah blah, blah".....then I texted her 3 days later and asked her out within 2 texts. She said yes that would be great, but then I sent her a text trying to confirm a location and time and she never replied! Whats up with that???
how should I proceed????

Anonymous's picture

Met a girl at a college a few days ago. She was the first one to approach me and that's where things started. We've had a conversation face to face 2-3 times now. During the last one (which went on for like 3 hours), she seemed pretty happy and laughed plenty. We joked around here and there too. However, the next day I text her asking if she's going to be around campus long the following day. It's been 2-3 days now and no word from her. What should I do? I'm trying to stay positive but it's difficult when you feel suddenly cut off.

Anonymous's picture


I met an amazing girl, had 2 amazing dates, we were all over each other, nearly got kicked out of a bar and told to get a room. Met a second time, same deal, she says she really likes me and fancies me quite a lot, I replied with similar remarks. She was going to come around mine and stay on Valentines day but she said it was too soon, you see, the first time we met and got on like a house on fire she just wanted sex and that was it, I kind of said no, I want more than that, and I do. She didn't mention anything on the 2nd date and it felt like she changed her angle to my way of thinking because we get on so well.

So, Valentines Day, 14th went by, she sent a txt saying Happy Valentines Day in the morning, I replied with the same. Later that day I sent a txt saying enjoy the run (she's training for the London Marathon in April '12), she said she isn't going to run tonight because he Grandmother is in hospital and probably won't last the night. I of course send I'm sorry to hear and a big hug etc. Wednesday I didn't hear from her, thought I'd leave it. Thursday morning I sent a txt saying Morning. She replied saying sorry she hadn't txt me on Wednesday (15th) because her Grandmother passed away, I sent my sorry to hear and all, I was sincere and stated I understand she needed to be with family (as we had a date on Thursday (16th). She also txt me Thursday night while I was still at work, said she was busy clearing her Grans flat, booked the funeral etc. When I said I was still at work she said I'll leave you to it, don't work too late, in which I replied, it's ok, I'm about to leave anyway, shall I give you a quick call when I get home, understand if not. I put that on the end as she was at her parents and with family and it might not be a good time at all really.

I left it Friday also, and then txt on Saturday morning around 10am (18th) saying morning, how are you? No reply.... So I thought I'd leave it, she is probably with family most likely. I told a female friend of mine the txts and she said I must call and make it a normal one, call once, then call again but leave a message, so I did around 10pm Saturday night, I left a voicemail saying, just a quick call to see how you are, I'm not sure whether to txt or call, I know it's an extremely stressful and difficult time for you and your family, just want you to know I'm here if you need ok. About 45 minutes later I got a txt saying "hwy", obviously supposed to be "hey", I replied 10 minutes later with "? Are you ok?" to which I got no reply.

So..now I've left it Sunday (19th) and Monday (20th), it's now Tuesday (21st) still nothing. I suppose the funeral will be this week, it could've been yesterday or today, I didn't want to ask when.

What should I do?
I was thinking of leaving it till Thursday night and trying to call, call again then leave a message, see what happens.

She clearly likes me a lot, but this has hit her pretty hard, at a guess she has a close family and was quite close to her Grandmother.

Oh, I'm 30, she's 32 by the way.

aeron's picture

I dont know what to do anymore there is this girl i really like well she acts like she really likes me tellibg me im cute and giving me attractive signals but she texts me rearlybut whenshe does she is always adding smileyfaces hearts acts likes she really likes me but when i text her she always acts like she doesnt want to talkmaking everything short like i textedher yesterday hay and she responded eyy and ireplyed whats upand got noresponse every girl i meet acts this way twoards me andat this point im soconfusei dont know what to do i feel like giving up the last girlfriendihad we lasted a week and she told me she was onlyusing me for the attention now every girk imeet ifeel this way =\just seems like there is no hope for me

Anonymous's picture

Well I met this girl a few years ago in highschool and I think she legit liked me. I liked her too. What messed things up is a spur of the moment thing when I went to get her number but never hugged her. After that she kind of stopped talking to me and I think she took me for a player. Is it possible to revive this spark even though it's been 4 years?

David's picture

Good day Chase. I would really appreciate your advice. Here is my story. I met a girl a couple of days ago, everything went well and we liked each other alot. She invited me for drinks at her place after a late shift as a waiter, but I declined because i was feeling sick that day. So then we organised that we meet up at her place after her shift on Tuesday. We spoke to each other on the phone and everything was perfect. But now she don’t reply to my messages, and i made the mistake to ask why she doesn’t reply and said i want to speak to her the whole time. At the moment I am chasing her, which i should not do and I think i scared her of. I am getting that feeling that she won’t speak to me again or something. What should I do? Everything was perfect exept for the fact that i made a fool of myself? Really need your advice, how can i fix this. ASAP

Anonymous's picture

I met this girl at the club a friend of my friend, I talked to her, hooked up with her several times, and got her number, but she did not text me back. After I texted her saying it was nice meeting her last night.

Rand McNally 's picture

Hey, I met this girl through my friends girlfriend. We started of at her place, had a few drinks, then went to a club. At the club, we started dancing, and it seemed like she was really into me, all was well. I made the mistake of getting too drunk, so on the walk back to her place, I don't remember what we talked about, and forgot to ask her for her number. But I knew her name, so I added her to facebook a day later, she accepted. A day after that I sent her a private message saying I had a good time, and would like go out with her to a place where we could talk and actually hear eachother with yelling into eachothers ears (I worded it better than that though), and gave her my number. 2 days later, and she hasn't replied. I was wondering if it is appropriate to take her number off Facebook, and text her, or just keep sending private messages via facebook. She has logged onto Facebook since, because she updated her status.

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