Girl Types: Shy Excited Girls | Girls Chase

Girl Types: Shy Excited Girls

Ah, one of my favorites – the Shy Excited Girl. She’s the one who acts demure and conservative, but she’s bursting at the seams with excitement and exuberance underneath (hopefully for you, although quite often just in general about life). I love these kinds of women personally because they have a kind of innocent enthusiasm about life that’s just contagious, and they tend to be very self-improvement oriented, which means that as you continue to grow and change and evolve, they’re the most likely of any woman out there to keep pace.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Anonymous's picture

Wow...this is exactly describing a girl I simply loved. She, however, wanting nothing to do with me, lol. I gave up eventually, but I could not for the life of me understand this girl. This post helps a lot, because even though I know that girl will never be mine, I still wanted to know what made her tick so that the next time I find one like here I will know what to do. Thanks a lot!

Al from London's picture

This is incredibly spot on. Just discovered this site and cant stop reading at half 3 in the morning... !

Anonymous's picture

I too had the huge pleasure of discovering this breed of girl.

This girl had a fire of passion burning on the inside, well hidden away just like her emotions.
She was sincere and determined and I wonder if her shyness was more of an social awkwardness.. I found her vivid in bed and no matter what she did, she remained dorky!

I lost this one eventually as I didn't grasp what I was dealing with back then.

They are lurking around here and there and thanks to this article I hope to be able to keep the next one!

Kyle's picture

Hi Chase,

I wish I found this article a year ago! So this girl I've known for over a year is exactly the type you just described as non-sexually liberated. She is a very cute good christian type who I don't expect to be sexually liberated until.....well you know. And I am totally fine with this and don't see it as an issue.

I have never been able to figure this girl out since we met back in January of last year when we had a college class together. We studied a lot together that whole semester just at the library and such nowhere intimate like our rooms or anything and yeah she is a smart one for sure. I studied her more than the math that she pretty much had to teach me the whole time since I could hardly compute anything around her. So basically we got to know each other a little I wanted to make a move really bad, but it was like she had this wall around her. I never got any "looks" from her giving me an indication I had a chance. I'm a more quiet type kinda reserved in my communication so I felt sorta boring around her energetic self. I am usually pretty confident with girls, but she honestly scared the shit out of me. She always made it a point to talk to me after class and still texts me often out of the blue.

We spent some time together just casually toward the end of the semester. After finals were over and we went back to living at our homes(we grew up 20 min from eachother aparently) one monday I decided to ask her to go to Stone mtn park with me saturday and get some dinner afterwords. She said it sounded like fun and she would like to but didn't know how the rest of her week would turn out so she said she'd tell me when she knew. I said ok cool just lemme know, but i was thinking oh crap she's flaking on me so I didn't expect a yes much less a response. 2 long days later she told me she could go and so i was pretty happy but played it cool. So we went and had a good time just sitting and talking at the top of the mtn with a sweet view. She being the shy-excited girl did most of the talking but stayed on harmless topics like her family, work, stuff going on in her life etc. She never went into any deep personal stuff and I didn't pry either. i kind of expected that but somehow relationships got brought up and she briefly said she didn't want another relationship anytime soon because she was focused on god and her relationship with him. I kinda got and had been getting the vibe that she was too busy for anyone. I was pretty shocked though that she brought that up and put it away so fast and easily. The rest of the date went alright. We ate at chili's and talked some more and nothing was awkward. She texted me afterward and told me she had fun and that we should do something again sometime.

The rest of the year was the most confused I have ever been about a girl in my life. I didn't text her a lot after our "date" since I figured she said what she said because either she didn't like me as more than a friend or she wasn't going to be available anytime soon. Either way I saw no point. That was all fine and understandable. I expected our friendship to just fade away into just an acquaintanceship where we never really texted anymore. I was wrong. She started texting me randomly every few days or so over the summer and throughout the fall semester. I didn't know how to take all the positive attention I was getting from her. I thought maybe she decided she likes me and does want more than friendship. Or maybe she is storing me and keeping me around until she feels ready. Or maybe she just texts me when she is bored and I don't mean anything to her and I'm stuck in her friend zone. I bounced around each possibility a lot and asked her out a few more times but she was always too busy or something. Once she said she didn't have much to do and she was bored so was texting me so I gave her a funny idea and made her laugh and told her I was busy and had to go. I didn't want to be her solution to boredom when she won't even make time to see me in person.

I wrote her off multiple times but I kept falling for her charm and innocence. She kept up the regular communication, god only knows why. I didn't make any moves and very very seldom would I text her. She would text me all the time asking how my day was going and that she just thought she'd say hi *smilyface* and things like that. One day she was out with her friends and she texted me and said we need to get together and do something fun soon. So I thought "hey awesome my dreams just may come true!" So I asked her sometime after to have dinner with me, but every time i asked her she was too busy and didn't seem too eager. What I thought was weird was that she never invited me over to her place yet I saw pictures of her friends(guys and girls) hanging out there. I just didn't know where I stood with her.

then one day at the end of the semester she told me she wanted to hang out sometime during the week. I guess she felt bad for never giving me the time of day. She didn't have a plan or anything so I suggested we cook dinner at her place since I'd never been there. She agreed and so I picked a recipe and grabbed some ingredients on my way, and we had fun cooking and catching up since we hardly ever saw each other. We had good chemistry but I could see by her body language there was a part of her trying to tell me not to make a move. Like her words were warm and fun and inviting but her body was staying a safe distance away. She did briefly mention a boyfriend she used to have in high school which i was surprised about knowing how secretive she is about anything dealing with her heart. She also mentioned a movie she was excited about that was coming out soon so I asked her if I could take her and she said yes.

Over winter break we texted as usual and I asked her out AGAIN and she said no because she was busy with work or plans or something.

After the spring semester started, that movie came out in theaters so I asked her if she still wanted to go see it with me. She said she definately did, but that she had to let me know something. She had a boyfriend and she didn't want to give me the wrong idea and she didn't want me to think of it as a date or anything. I was beyond pissed. I didn't know what to say at first. So I told her that I'd try to pretend like I didn't wish you told me that a long time ago and that I was ok with it not being a date yada yada. So we went to the movies and i asked her who the lucky guy who's her best kept secret was and he ended up being her bf she had in high school. Apparently they started to get back together over the summer. I was pretty hurt when I thought of how she said she wasn't wanting a relationship the past summer and how she turned me down so many times, but didn't show it. How did a guy she hardly ever saw from a far away school steal her right under my nose?! And WHY didn't she ever tell me about him when I was clearly making many moves on her?!

I was so confused. So I pretty much gave up since, well she wasn't single afterall. She told me sorry and that she is really oblivious to guys liking her and that she never really knew if I was interested in her. I didn't believe a word of it. I asked if she didn't get a hint of anything when I asked her out back in may. I didn't know what to say to her.

So a few weeks ago after more of her regular texting she told me she wanted me to teach her to drive stick just so she would know. So of course I said sure and so I gave her some lessons which she picked up pretty quickly and it was fun. I teased her a little when she messed up but was very patient the entire time since she wasn't too confident and was a little nervous. When I got her on the main roads and she was cruising along confidently I casually asked her how her boyfriend was doing. She changed her tone and kinda sadly told me they weren't together anymore. The long distance and his busy life was the reason she said. It was mutual as I understood it. I told her I was sorry to hear that, and that I understand what it's like to have to end it because of distance. We didn't talk anymore about it after that. When we were done we grabbed some fast food before class and chatted about stuff. She mentioned she was trying to watch what she ate so I laughed and told her yeah she sure looks like she needs to. she just laughed and smiled and rolled her eyes. She actually has the body of a model pretty much. Somewhere in the conversation she asked me about the military ball that she heard was coming up just before finals. So I said "you know, it's funny you should bring that up" she said "oh? why?" I said "I was gunna ask you!" "ask me? ask me what?.....OH!! ASK ME TO THE BALL!!" like she didn't know what I meant by that lol. so she said," sorry I didn't mean to ruin it! pretend I didn't say anything! ok go ahead..." so I laughed and then in my best impression of a super-nervous guy just to be funny I asked her "if she would sorta maybe go the the ball with me?". So she played right along and said she "wasn't sure and might have plans with friends instead" then she laughed and said smiling "of course I'll go with you". so I said alright and didn't celebrate until I was by myself! That pretty much made my week!

So since that fun time with her that day we havn't texted a whole lot and when I have texted her she seems to have a different texting tone or something. She doesn't really use emoticons or exclamation points anymore and doesn't seem to be all that excited about talking to me. So once again I am left confused. I have seen her between classes and she seems fine. I talked to her close friend who I have gotten to know a little lately and who I know understands my situation, and inquired as to how she was doing lately since the breakup. I probably shouldn't have, but I couldn't help but ask her if I have a chance at all with this girl. She hesitated a little to think and my heart sank. Then she said not right now. I asked her if that really meant never or if it was because of the breakup and she said partly the breakup but mainly because she wants to focus on her relationship with god right now. pretty much the same reason she gave me back in may. So I mentioned how I want to understand her better but she is so hard to read. She told me that since she has only ever had one boyfriend that she is sort of immature in her communication skills when it comes to romance. She told me if I asked this girl how she felt about dating me that she would definately tell me the truth. I think her friend is kind of rooting for me since she is always so happy to see me.

So tomorrow is the miliary ball and I don't really know what she is feeling or thinking in regards to me. I am just going to do my best to be my calm cool confident self and make her feel special but not push her away by acting too into her. I want tomorrow night to be ground breaking in our communication. Like I want to make her feel comfortable opening up more to me so we can finally be on the same page for once. I wish I wrote this in time to get a response and maybe some advice before tomorrow evening. She is just such a mystery to me and I have accepted that I most likely will never hold her, but as long as we are friends I will always want her.

Please tell me what I need to do to win this shy excited girl!

Anonymous's picture

super late but whatever

you should just kiss her and move on. if she's not interested tough, but there's other fish in the sea.

LOOVIN''s picture

This is my girl. Im never losing her. Shes the best person in my life and I've been with 9 other women. Im 23 years old and I really cant picture myself with anyone else. You say guys are idiots for getting hitched? not with a woman like this! Ill take care of her until the day I die and never let her heart down.

Steven R's picture

If I were to tell a SEG that I loved her, how would she respond if she felt the same towards me?

tina's picture

With a big smile, and an immediate and enthusiastic YES!! :)

If she's on the fence, you'll know right away, because she's not likely to hide it (hesitates, looks unsure, might say something along the lines of "I think I need more time"... which is a good thing, by the way, since it means she's still considering it, because she wouldn't be around if she wasn't.)

Anonymous's picture

I am 99% sure that I am this type of girl. This describes almost exactly what I want and how I am in terms of personality. Excellent and a job well done to the person who wrote this.

a SEG's picture

Me too! So happy to have found this. It seems to describe me really well :D

@Kyle (confused, frustrated)

Thanks for writing out your long and confusing story with your SEG. I feel like I can understand how some guys feel around us better.
In my experience, we usually don't like to have any pressure on us. We are kind of sensitive, you see. Things like advances and obvious flirting would not feel like much pressure to regular folks but to us, they look like big steps that since we need to carefully think through things first. We usually prefer to *choose* what to do (if that makes sense), and we need to go through certain small steps before we can take a leap. Once we do decide, we're very sure of the decision.

I noticed that some men tend to think in dichotomies: she likes me or she doesn't like me. There is nothing in between. With us, we warm up to people slowly and there is a lot of "in-between" area. We want to get to know you very well, see what you're made of, and how that overlaps with what we want in a relationship. That could be the reason why she keeps on texting you while seemingly "turning you down." Don't stress it if she doesn't seem to be making moves (or at least play it cool), it doesn't mean much.
If I am anything like your SEG, then she may also prefer moving into a relationship from a solid friendship. Usually when I seem unsure about someone, it's because that someone is trying to jump the steps that I need to carefully walk through. And if they get hurt by that "rejection" (I wasn't necessarily "rejecting"), it makes matters more complicated and the process longer than necessary because of the misunderstanding.

When it comes to romantic relationships, we want to be very sure that we want to date you, so we look for certain elements "checked off" our wanted list and "click." Example of the "wanted list:" works on self-improvement, confident, etc. As for the "click," it's that moment when we feel our hearts swayed by you. In my case it's when that special someone is caring for my inner self, and gently gets me to open up. This rarely happens and if someone can do that in a supportive and loving manner - you've got my heart.

If any of it made sense, I'd advice you to just be your usual cool self and don't ponder about whether she likes you or not. It sure takes time. And if you distort the image of yourself with insecurities, the process will take even longer too. Do your thing, plunge into your passions and let her see you fully as the awesome person that you are :) We LOVE people who work on self-improvement, and who have a grounded sense of self-confidence. You let your feelings known already. So keep being friends and continue being supportive but let her do her thing. Let her warm up to you herself. We need time to figure out we like someone. And soon enough, she might come to you. If not, you'll have a close friend. But the best part is, you'll have already developed yourself and there will be some other awesome SEGs around you in no time :) Good luck!

If you know she loves you back, why not make it known? Hope you told her!

Anonymous's picture

Wow... this article blew me away. Just when I start to question Chase's philosophy I read something like this. This kind of girl is the personality of all my good ex relationships. I didn't know I had a type but dang what he has written is bottom line. This girl really needs to be allowed chase, just as this whole vibe to the site. Definitely a reason to keep up with the authors writing. I feel like I should stop bothering my time with women who don't meet this personality. Thanks Chase, big time!

Anonymous's picture

Wow... this is spot on to this girl at my school.
this article represents her exactly. as far as i can tell, shes the only type of girl like that at my school, I'm a smart guy and all but i don't understand girls. At ALL... but thanks to this random website i randomly decided to click on, i finally understand her. We use to go out before, but now i think i know how to win her back!
Thanks a lot Chase! Really!

fabienjessy's picture

Hi Kyle,
sorry for my english but I am french. Your story is pretty common, even though you think that girl is special...because you're falling for keep thinking about that girl you cant have, just because she doesnt want to give herself to you, so you should look for the many good articles on this site to check out the solution, " how to make women fall in love", and so on...I had this same experience with my first girl and still today I meet this kind of girl sometimes...the first thing I had noticed is that a relationship is always about " who is in control? " and " who has the power"...and obviously you are the one-down... like 99% of reading you, I had noticed you always respond positive when she chases after you, you are the one who always asks her out, you never wait her to ask you out... and that might kill her desire to chase you ( see the great article above.)
Just before to go on, let me ask you to check out certain " things" about her ex- current "boyfriend", try to get more info about your opponent, .. I am 99.99% sure, you will learn that he doesn't treat her very well, he might have flirt and banged other girls during their relationship, he might have abused her a little bit like her buying him gifts, food, alcohol,...
Nice little shy girls often date this kind of jerk, macho guys she complains about!!! I am sure you get what I mean!!!
Now as for her relationship with God, let me tell you, I had knewn several girls that were involved with their religion and had that " special" relationship with God... Let me tell you the last girl I banged had a Christian icône picture, on top of her bed while I was banging her hard and having my cock sucked... not really stimulating?...Uh?...anyway, you might call mine a bitch and yours an angel...but believe me even the most angelic ones have a "dark" side...anyway, we're all humans...with sexual desires...and you know what I's not different for girls...I know we have a mother..a sister... but....
Sorry to be rude for people reading me but it's the raw truth, and I mean it so you guys wake up!!!!.... we call them " sainte nitouche" in french, so I let you guys make a research about this expression....this girl, who I believed the first time I met, was not virgin as she tried to appear..she asserted me she only had one boyfriend in her life and that she had slept with him after a 7 year relationship....but after a while, I started to noticed she was contradicting a lot about her past ( check the arcticle in this site about why women dont brag about the number of their partners and why they cheat us about the real number of their past boyfriends-they want you to think them as a potential long term mate not a cheap slut you can bang on a one night stand), I can tell you she had at least 20 boyfriends before me!!! Then I had found out that this little innocent ingenue girl was flirting on the internet with some other guys and so on ( and as she said" I am only making game with them, it's not serious )..but still sex doesnt matter, she is too pure and virginal to feel these low instincts!!! I had numerous experiences with these kind of "mysterious" women, and believe me when a woman smells " mysterious" odour, there's a bunch of cocks that come in all shapes and size under her skirt..... and believe me they love hot sex, animal, wild and dirty...the more dirty...the better it works with them!!!
The more conservative, shy the girl, the more repressed are her sexual BAM!!!!!! Imagine when she releases the dont be impress by any " devouted to God" girl and her special relationship with God!!!!! Because she ' s either toying you (---shit test---gives you bull shit to test if you eat it...).or a nunn...and I guess you didnt meet her at the church right?!!!
To be sure, open your eyes, check out the way she she sexy or does she look like a tomboy to you?? Remember check out facts and what you see, not what you hear.....mostly with girls!!!!!
Remember that we humans wear a social mask..and the more perfect it looks, the lower the instincts you'll find out... so I know you wont believe what I say, because I was that way too with my first girls, but only experience will teach you..and believe me after 700 different girls banged , you start to get the rules of the game, if I had all the tips that this site is giving us earlier, I wouldnt have made so many mistakes due to my naîvety and innocence on the woman subject... I can still remember my friends laughing behind my back and in front of me when I was talking about this " special" girl that was different....Actually, those kind of women play games with the innocent , lack of experience guys like us (me before), they love to be pursued but never give themselves to nice guys like us... they always go for the bad boyfriend that abuse her psychologically and often " physically"... those kind of women can drive you nuts and obsessed, I mean thats what she is after...making you think about her by not giving herself ( see the " one itis" syndrome in google).. they are dangerous for the sensitive guys and will probably make you lose more opportunities and waste your time, weeks, months and even years for the most perverted ones!!! so be careful, protect yourself... the problem is you had already given away your power, and she knows it, plus she pretends like she didnt know you were after her??? that sounds pretty manipulative and dishonest from her.
The point is that she tries like most " heiffers" and immature girls to use you, may be to get some attention from her badboyfriend, or because she needs the affection that he doesnt give her, he might only give her some hard sex and being blew by her .... think about it twice, my friend..there are many chances that she eats his semen, even if she seems innocent, you dont what s going on behind the curtains.... YOU' RE NOT THE ONE THAT SLEEPS WITH HER, and remember she is never available when you ask her out, I mean most of time..
When you talk with this kind of girl, she will, most of time, have a story about a nice boyfriend she had, that really loved her, but...she didnt treat him that nice and now...sob..she regrets...then finally she cheated him....and ditched him for her bad boyfriend...
Remind you that someone else is banging her, a jerk that is not giving her half you do, I am pretty sure she is the one that " pays" for her boyfriend, I am sure he is like a macho, undependable, rude guy...and she doesnt want to ruin your " nice friendship" only for sex, she doesnt want you to change...stay nice... I am sure you heard it before...
This kind of women, ( not to say all women) use the nice guys as a doormate, or to pay the bills...but for the sex matter, that 's another story...but still you have the internet and your faithful right hand....).
Anyway, have you ever heard the expression :
Neither do I !!!
So here's the problem:
- YOU DIDNT CREATE ATTRACTION WITH HER!!!! read the subject on this site!!!
to : -why you are so much attracted to her and you feel her being the ONE and perfect girl for you, is because she plays push-pull game with you !!!
When you ask her, she pushes you away, when you ignore her, she calls or text you back.... seduction is a game, and it s like you fell on a very keen player....
If you start to show some little disrespect with her, ending first calls,not responding her text or calls all the time, not apoligizing even when you are wrong, forgetting about her birthday and happy new year, being distracted while you're with her..scoping and flirting other girls around her..even her best girlfriend.., cheat her, lie to her ( I am sure she can read you like an opened book, women are very good at it!!!!), being a little bit selfish and arrogant,dont show so much interest to her,dont tell much about you, be fun and lighthearted, create more conflict and tension, being less predictible, being more sexual ..not will become more sexy in her eyes... and you will create the attraction she craves for....its not all about beauty for women as I used to think... its about your male characteristics and personality....even if society promotes the metrosexual image, women crave the old fashion macho man and the bad boy, jerk, SOB asshole...!!!!
May be it s too early to apply now, may be you will need to be ditched once, twice,... 18 times ....or 100 times...but if you really want her, forget about what she asks and her bullshit, and apply the remedy..even if its is efficiency...and that s what it's all about!!!! so if you are really into her, dont think and dont judge...just apply ...simply and silly!!!! there is no other average solution or half-way remedy.... YOUR GIRL SAYS SHE DREAMS OF THE PERFECT NICE GENTLEMAN.....BUT SHE WANTS TO BE BANGED BY THE SOB JERK OR RANDOM BADBOY!!!!! AND THAT S THE CRUEL REALITY!!!! I know it sounds unbelievable and extreme but you 'll see the poor choice she dates and you will soon realize you didnt get into her pants because you werent enough confident and you didnt think you were good enough for her and that s what it shows to her!!!
Become that sexy dude she wants, dont hide your sexual desire, instead create tension by creating conflict, dating other girls, dont be afraid to make her jealous....because that s the way it really works....I was a nice guy before, and each time I behave "nice" to girls, I never get the girl...each time I act...even though at the beginning, you feel awkward and " not really yourself" a SOB, arrogant macho, jerk, bad boy... it works...mostly if the girl is beautiful...


Write this on a paper and re-read it every morning in front of your mirror, to never forget that LINE!!!
I know it sounds cruel and hypocrite, but we've all been through!!!! there is no other solution..if you have one, let me know....
The problem is when you invite her, respond her text or calls all the time, being "nice" to kill the attraction process, the seduction game, the sexual tension, she knows already she can have you whenever she become like an old Ford taurus wreck...thats all!!! instead of being the brand new beautiful Lamborghini, she craves for but she cant far!!! Your price is falling down ..instead of skyrocketting!!!!
So when you try to " connect" with her all the time by giving her your full attention whenever she become ( in her eyes...) like a toy...or more reallistic a DOORMATE!!!... so try to disconnect as often as you can...even if its agaisnt your true inner self or nature( the good mamma boy son)!!!
you have to create suspense and tension...remember women dont read playgirls, they read and watch romance novels and films....and it's always about a wild, untamed guy that they deeply love in secret...or an abusive boyfriend that beats her up sometimes....remember ...tension...conflict....
I know its hard to behave like a SOB when you have this beautiful smile and innocent eyes on you..but you have no other way... me too sometimes I can be hypnotized and I am acting back like the old " nice" guy pattern...and guess, the result comes very fast..... but when I decide to wear my bad boy "shoes" comes back the sex and fun again!!!!
But each time I fail and think of my mother good eduction.....becoming the perfect nice faithful right hand!!!! I've been on the subject for many years and still I am making the nice guys mistakes sometimes...because when she starts to please you and act nice, you might fall back to the nice guy yes I admit it happens sometimes...but the result doesnt I give myself a big slap, and become back the guy she is attracted to....and then it becomes a second nature of yourself..the thing is to express your inner wild , untamed and dangerous"bad" side....everyone has it so dont pretend to be an!!!!
Just dont be shy when you are with her (alone or outside).. dont be scared of the other dudes in the street...there will always be competition...and girls will test you on that matter too...but we arent going to ask too much for today.....dont be jealous if she "flirts" with some other dudes, instead push her away and flirt with other chicks in front of I told you before it's all a game of POWER!!!!!
Remember its ok if you dont look like a model...but pay attention to your looks....what kind of girl do you want to date? what kind of men she might be attracted? so dont wear your mummy's chosen clothes...instead try to create yourself your own style....what is your model? who do you admire the most?...stay in the fashion...dont be classic...just find your style ie what you like...but still fashionable!!!! it doesnt matter if your nose is big, if you are short, or fat, just make yourself the best out of you!!! that s what it will give you more condidence and allure...and you will see the difference when you walk the street!!!!
When you date her, dont fall in the trap of becoming the nice guy back, even though you had sex...because then she might ditch you for some other.......... you cant tell us you didnt get warned!!!
so keep reading about his subject on the internet.....and you will soon realize that there are " patterns" that repeat themselves, even though each story is unique, there will always be some basic steps in love relationship and you will soon recognize this patterns stories as you will read the other guys what I am giving you is really personal...and I know that I might have negative feedback from girls because I am killing their games...but remember your little sister buying those girl magazines, secrets how to capture a man, secret dating tips while you were shaking Popol reading chic or playboy magazines??? that s why girls are far ahead better in the dating games than the average guys!!!! the only guys who score a lot (and most women) are the bad boys...even the alpha male is still a nice guy to me......
The thing is that you act nice by responding her messages, calls, inviting her, paying her ( her boyfriend doesnt make 5% of what you're doing...remember the article of " doing the least"), because you think that if you become her good special friend, you're going to the next "level" that means becoming her new boyfriend...but thats will never occur most of time...remember dont let her know too much about you....become directly her boyfriend on the first or the second date ( second means you had already fucked up something if you didnt kiss her), if you're lucky enough to have a third date... dont forget to become a sexual human...not her eunnuch or gay friend...remember when she 's already your girlfriend (that means you already banged her), you get to know her better not the reverse, otherwise you go ass-backwards!!!!
And when she talks about God, think of her current boyfriend getting sucked and laid (think of her acts , not her blah blah).... and that he might not be as good choice as you friend....instead make fun of her if she tries to be serious...tease her, be sexual...dont talk about serious matters, politics,economics or religion....remember you have to be physical, not spiritual or intellectual,...its about emotion not logic....
do you really think his current boyfriend seduced her with these serious boring topics??
Instead disconnect with her, play hard to get, dont respond immediately to her texting, dont answer when she calls you...remember you have to game too!!! because it's all a game....she plays too with your feelings...remember when it the pain you feel when she is in control....mostly do not apologize if she is mad at's a sure sign she starts to fall after you...and that's what you want....Right?!
When it starts to work...dont release the tension..even if she begs you to stop...keep being selfish even if she begs... DONT GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS ( write this sentence also in your mirror and read it every day like a mantra...dont ask me will see the benefits of my non-sense talking)...dont buy her drinks, gifts,restaurants, perfumes, phone ...
My attitude is if she buys first...then I will pay her back, ...a little less...and less often...that's my rule...remember dont let her dominate you or take control of you..cause one day, you ll wake up and she ll be gone with this famous dude...the bad boy that didnt give her 5% you did!!!
Seduction is not a fair game..remember how much pain, how much you have dont let her crush you back or burned you again.....keep it up...even though you think she would never talk to you again....because she will come back in the we say: " LOVE NEVER DIES OF STARVATION BUT INDIGESTION".
So try to find deep inside of you this little devilish rebellious side, you've been conditioned to hide by your family, your mother, the society....mostly in the dating game....because you might find yourself too often game over before even entering the game....
its all about power, if you dont control, she s the one in control, if you want to control the relationship, control yourself lighthearted, be sexual, be mysterious( dont talk or brag about you)...move fast to have sex with her...because you will commit more mistakes when you a fast mover--see the article
Remember never treat a woman nice, dont offer services like helping her moving her furniture, repair her car, buying gifts or restaurants,dont pay for any date, dont hold door, dont be the golden crying shoulder or her psychologist listening to her bad boy stories.... I am sure you know what I mean...
In the seduction process, people game or parade like animal..c'mon dont think you're better than an animal because because you can talk...
Use disconnection with your body language, instead of facing her when you talk...give her some space...turn your body at 45 degree angle, dont peck attention to her body she trying to draw your attention? Be ready to walk away to create some " disconnection"...dont excuse yourself...become a little bit...moody.. rude....unpredicitble.....believe me... those kind of tricks work... just think it's manipulation...yes...but women use it on you too...even if you dont realize it...why do you always think about her every day? why do you always check out your text? your phone calls? why, my friend....Yes, because you've been manipulated also!!!!!
Remember it's all about a game of power..and if you behave like a nice gentleman, you wont even bang the old fat, hairy next door dont believe me...just because you look better and she looks uglier, you think she is going to sleep with you...try ...and let me know.....she 'd rather be raped by a random dog or tramp... it's all about frame and make you understand in WHAT KIND OF FRAME you must be, act, to conquere your lady.....
have you ever heard stories about this beautiful nice girl that seems so innocent and virginal, getting banged in a party by a random guy in the toilet???
Why do you think it has happened?
she was drunk? on drugs?
Do you think this man had a nice guy and shy attitude?
Or was he more like over confident, sexual and arrogant?
Dont fall in the nice guy trap syndrome!!! except if you want to be only a friend.......

Anonymous's picture

This is exactly the girl I'm after. I was in love with her since the day I saw her and I still love her but I don't know if she is interested in me. Reading this article helped me a lot in knowing this girl and I think now that I know more about this girl. Thanks Chase. If you have anymore advice I have given my email above so if you have anymore advice about how to get this type of girl please email me and help me as I'm in love with this girl and I want to try my luck with this girl. Thank you one again.

The Girl who is a hopeless Romantic's picture

That totally describes me :D This article is well written. Now i have find myself a fellow :P

Anonymous's picture

This is spot on. I've dated a girl like this and she kept it so fresh. She turned the chase into a rumba style dance where the outside observer would have to watch fast to know who's after who.

Out of all the types of girls I've met she had the keenest sense for spotting fakeness. And it was refreshing.

It's a big game of red light/green light. I'll ask her to do something small and she'll stop me, I'll so okay and change the subject. Then she'll press me to get back on that subject later. Then I'll tease her for being so zealous.

Lol. I'm even using present tense it was so engaging. Since we don't date now.

She prized sincerity, irony, enthusiasm, thick skin and a mixture of world weary reticence/wisdom/vulnerability. She came out and told me this. Admitted to being both turned on and intimidated by it and thanked me for being myself.

I asked a girl like this in my class for her email and she said no, but about 4 days later she gave it to me. Same thing with her aim and then her phone number. Her nos were never outright. She'd say "No. Are you kidding. I barely know you." I'd say "okay, thats cool while studying her face with interest and then she paused got self conscious and said that's cool maybe once you get to know me :) " She paused and laughed and said "okay I'll think about it."

We both chatted each other up randomly for 2 weeks after that. I made no mention of the phone but in the middle of one of her thoughts she came back to the phone thing out of nowhere and said here "I don't do this often with classmates but you can have my phone number." This showed me she had been giving it a serious consideration. This girl combined heartfelt deliberation with heartfelt spontaneity.

The whole courting phase went like this. Where I would try to escalate she would give me a tenous no only to escalate herself in her own sincere and personal ways.

I'll leave the rest out but suffice to say she was my most sincere, loyal, compassionate and communicative lover ever.

Anonymous's picture

Actually, this sounds like Asperger's girl. She looks shy because she doesn't get social cues and she has a negative self image. She also can't express her emotions well and has much more to offer than what it looks like. And while some Asperger's girls are asexual, others are hypersexual. So I think a great deal of those girls are on the spectrum.

Anonymous's picture

This is me. Such a great observational study.

"They’re the girls who were filled with boyish energy when they were young, but society pushed back against them and they learned to control themselves and appear more “ladylike” on the outside."

Anonymous's picture

Ok, its not my shyness, but due to thought-fullness.??? Any way i like it. But sometimes it hurts when people like myself becomes too excite to society. I think its a problem of empathy to almost on anything, may be not visible, but i feel few minutes sometimes hours, when ever i watch something. And still, i wondered myself, how i changed my characters within, 1st as a fighter of martial arts (still in my thoughts, and one day i will fulfill it lol), as a veterinary, as Army girl, as Pilot, as scientist, as lecturer, as adviser in politics, or as environmentalist,..lists go's on. Still i don't know what i am doing and wanted to do, and at present i completed my graduation in Electrical department, and next job, or PG, not guaranty, so this caused me so much problem, even to choose a boyfriend lol !! as i myself, degraded many times, many guys approached me but indirectly most of times, may be i looked like a Dracula or killer, don't know ! but sometimes i feel, why we live only 100 or below 100 years!... For everything, mind control really helped me manytimes. So i suggest who are after these type of crazy girls, just be honest yourself, and approach with some subject directly, before making any relationship,..ha ha just my mind... anyway i understood my problem and now i am working to approach 1st from myself too, before any guy get scared of my silence,.. lol!!! just cheers, really this blog helped me honestly, how to be extrovert, according to the situation and place

The Butterfly's picture

This overall descibes me very well, not in all fields, but I imagined myself being displayed like this in the eyes of others.
Although, as said in the other comment, I also struggle when making a desicion. I am never quite sure of what I EXACTLY want, making me partly confused about my self, really xP
I mean, I do know what I DO NOT want, but when it comes at declaring something I desire, problems may occur cx

But, yeah, when I finally decided to want something to happen, I simply go for it, after carefuly thinking about it and the concequences.

I know couple of guys around where I live who likes me, and honestly I am quite aware of that, even though I don't show them much interest coming from my part towards them. I know that one guy who used to buy me chocolates and flowers (plastic xD but still) with no special occaission. He also used to compliment me a lot as well. He even said that "Remember when I sat with your father in your balcony, and told him that I want to marry you? But he said I should wait until you grow up," <-- He was joking, I can tell xP but I just kept revising this sentence all over. (I am currently 15 years old xp he is bigger than me for about 3,4 years. Going to reach twenty, according to what my brothers has told me). I honestly did not like him at first, but over time, my feelings developed, and I started to like him, although, I never really showed him that directly.

I did smile to him, and laugh at his jokes. Also, I used to run away and let him chase me. Those all could have told him how much I like him, although, there were other times when I don't look at him at all. Once, we were at a birthday party (of my semi-friend, a girl that she also likes him) we havent talked through the whole party, but when they were blowing off the candles, I saw the guy looking at me, with I cannot even describe it till now, but I felt passion from his eyes, or something like love? I really dont know, but there just so emotiones behind his eyes that he was trying to show me. As a reaction, I simply looked away from him. Now after that, we havent talked almost from a very long time, and he started to ignore me briefly. I think he thought that I rejected him that night, I might have showed him that, also there were slight feelings in me that I didnt show. Also, I do think that he tried to capture me again, since I recently heard that he greeted my mother once again (after months of ignorance!).

I dont know, I always automatically put all the guys in friendzone (once I have known that they have feelings for me). Maybe I am afriad of getting close to one due to the heartbreaks and the exprience I had with people. I dont think I ever do trust anyone since I am always ready if they sold me out. Although, I am very romantic, and I love the love itself. And yes, when I like someone, as a normal person- I show them that indirectly, but when I capture myself giving in too much signals that is when I try to walk away from a time to time.

Anonymous's picture

The article perfectly describes me...

Anonymous's picture

I am empathy and may be my honesty and as an observant made some people good in attitude. And if a person is introvert, remember they are just curious and very wise people who can understand others feelings as theirs like 6th sense but still due to not knowing purpose of life and their works or ambitions to help our planet become very much helpless or alone wolves. But its a good sign. I am one of these people and now i understood not to search of someone perfect, but to be that one. And i knew i will get my like-minded soul mate one day who loves life & service than just individually. Many still likes me even if i don't talk, cause its my humble nature and recognizing their real good hearts no matter how bad is their minds. After all we are one universally yet uniquely to realize and have the best of life which is totally different from money and materialistic things. One have to wake up by heart with an open minds. Those who think as hetrosexual or blah blah, remember its just a name not ones identity. Cause we have to think beyond our perceptions, these girls or boys knew their inner famine and masculine or call it as "feeling" and "reasoning' characteristics balanced and it is in every male and females with fearless yet humble natures. Just like Einstein, Michel Jackson who shown and felt all equal and peace keepers, who just love life, so have main purposes of helping many needed and being like warriors of Earth yet in polite way.
And this is what a spiritual woman is and a spiritual man is.

By the way i am "awaken" to multi-dimension reality as light and love of universe. and hoping who are seeking for someone remember to be the one of self. Have good thoughts and feelings, rest of the life will manifest as it is. No matter how hard to search a right soul mate, but boys(specially) and girls never loose your own identity of goodness, positive mind and only an open heart will understand what i mean. We have much life and an every soul mate have rights of freedom of one-selves, same time full trust on their soul-mates from both sides and never forget to be in PATIENCE as everybody wll have a right time and a choice to choose.

Anonymous's picture

I just read this, and I was very happy. I am exactly as this article describes! And here I was thinking I was crazy...

I always played with boys when I was a kid, and now I'm completely reserved. I can spot fake people from a mile away and I avoid them like a plague. If someone wrongs me, they're cut out of my life, if however someone affects my life positively I keep them close.

I am dorky on my own, and with very very close friends- but all my relationships take a while to develop.

I HATE being chased. One guy asked me out 5 times, and I ended up blocking him on social media, and never replying to calls/texts.

Another guy asked me what my favorite show was, and then proceeded to watch the entirety of it to have something to discuss with me. Another time, recently (occasionally he comes back to trying with me) he asked the same question, and I told him that I love Sherlock and he compared himself to him. That got me immensely angry, because this guy sent me his resume to look over and it was horrendous. I would never hire him for sure. Then another time, he asked me for a friendly get together with our mutual friends. Essentially he tricked me into a date, that killed me on the inside.

Then another guy, we started talking and I liked him, but then we "hung out" and he got me a necklace for the first date. WHAT? And when I asked him what his interests are, he told me he has none! He does nothing in his free time besides watch tv. No thank you.

The one guy that I really really liked, and still can't get over is the one I can't have. He's incredibly smart, and so driven. He's always busy like me, maybe even busier if that's even possible. We talked a lot, and we have a lot in common, and he said he loved talking to me too, and I would love it when he texted me first (which is a first because that never happens). I asked him to tutor me in calculus even though I've never needed tutoring before. He was so patient, and his eyes have so much life in them. They're always smiling if that makes sense. This guy is genuinely a nice person.

Anyway, I was ready to get into a relationship with him, but then he got a girlfriend, and completely dismissed me for months. We barely talked. I was angry and hurt, until I found out what the situation really was. I backed off, but I still can't get him out of my head. Every time I see him, or a Facebook post by him, my head spins.

I truly believe that if he had not gotten a girlfriend, I would have trusted him with my heart.

I've never had a boyfriend before, and hook ups make me feel absolutely uncomfortable. I'm really terrible at communicating my feelings, I hide them. I especially hate being hit on. I need to be friends with a guy before I develop feelings for him. I also can't ever tell when a guy likes me, unless they pursue me a lot- but then I turn them away. I used to feel like a loser for not having had a boyfriend or having been kissed (I'm 19, and I got my first kiss a month before my birthday, and I have regretted it since).

I feel hopeless about the guy, but at the same time I know that I don't NEED him. I don't need anyone in my life, I am independent, and I love the fact that I know that I can rely on myself. I always keep a cool head, and I love solving problems. I also love watching people, because I feel like you can tell so much about a person by their body language.

Anonymous's picture

Ha ha ha.. :D you know what humans lives are like roller castle falling and raising, again falling, finally again raising. In between relations, marriages, hate, love, etc are play what we do while living. Some do just being single, some by mating. You call yourself as weird well i call these women & men as a bit too wise, and the person you lost is actually not your match, i mean he is not in your path but in something else or something of little. Well i cannot make one person small or another as special but god always have plans for right mats in right time, sometimes its us who have to come forward, well depends. If a person go on after someone excitedly will settle as stupid.

I can only give you my opinion as, god or this nature is telling you that you may be having a "purpose" which is beyond your thinking, may be something for which you born here. Remember your birth is not an accident. For every effect there is a cause behind may be unseen, but you know how to feel. When you unlock your secret for what you are here today like (("social working", something of your "creativity as an artist" or something more than that like "to understand the mysteries about this "world", or the Dalai Lama's path, or for the search of long-lasting mate?? or as innovative technically .so on...)). Only you can understand about your-self. As our life is like a wave where god teach us lessons by hurdles, sometimes as gifted, everything is a blessing and an adventure of life. When you found of your talent or unique gift for what you are here to show the world directly or indirectly,.. finally reveals your most important part of life it-self.

I already understood my heart-desired path finally, i am here as an empath & world consciousness, now living a most positive-minded life. Became pure Vegan, meditate, already helping many as counselor, same time working on new green & clean technology. :) I knew that my future soul-mate searching for me on other side of road, similar to that path, all i have to do is explore self well keeping an identity too...its my faith.
Apologize for long comment.. have great life & i pray for your future & all fellow mates of this blog with right mate.. :)

& thanks to Administrator for giving me this opportunity & hoping,. my views will help someone.. That's all... /!\.. amen, namastey....

slinky71's picture

Hello Chase and other fellas. I have a problem about this as i made a topic in our forums but got only one answer. Here is the link:

After reading this article i realised that she almost fits the definition perfectly. By the way i forgot to tell, the night i told her how i felt, i gave her a necklace as a gift from the place i've been beforehand. Maybe sent bad signals, she said she liked it but i dont know. Now she flakes me by saying she's busy. She IS, i know, but for example we could totally meet this weekend and she was home dicking around on Facebook. It's been more than a week. I neither texted nor called her. Is pulling back and being with other women are my only options so far? Can't i do something more to make it right? I'm aware that i should sleep with her first, but how? Before this, i always bitched about whole staying friends thing, but now i even don't have that and it hurts my pride. Anyway i'd really appreciate your help, friend.

ME's picture

I've never read/seen anything that has described me as well as this. I'm surprised xD. My best friend is actually the same way, I'll have to show her this haha. Even though this is old, thanks for the post!

Anonymous's picture

Okay so I met my lady at a barnes and nobles and its had its ups and downs with us, but we never get too physical. Like I love spending time with her and she fulfills the best friend part, but the most I get is a kiss on the lips. We havent made out, 2nd,3rd base or all the way, yet she likes me alot. I havent pressured her into anything, but dammit its getting old.

Ina's picture

I just found this article and ] I'm completely astonished by it.
This article describs me detail-on-detail :OOO

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