7 Reasons Why All Girls are Naughty Girls | Girls Chase

7 Reasons Why All Girls are Naughty Girls

naughty girlsFew things capture the mind’s attention as much as naughty girls do. Those female celebrities we deem “naughty” get more press than anybody else in Hollywood. The girls in your social circle who come with the “naughty girl” label attached get talked about, competed for and with, and debated more than any other male or female. And everyone has a strong opinion on them – love them, hate them, or both at the same time.

What you may not realize, though, is why people are so obsessed with the naughty girls around them and in their media. Why is that saucy, spicy, naughty women command us to pay attention so?

The reason – the real, core reason – is because ALL girls are naughty girls... and deep down each of us knows this.

Some men hope that by sharing opinions unfavorable toward naughty behavior, they’ll encourage girls to keep a lid on it and be the “good wives”, as it were; other men hope that by praising naughtiness, they’ll open up a world of naughty, slutty, sexually liberated women for their own enjoyment.

And women? Women are a constant mess of trying to decide if they should banish their naughty side to the hinterlands, or switch it on full throttle and enjoy the ride.

What’s this mean for you? Well, if you’re a man, and you’re trying to act like that cute, sweet little angel you’re dating doesn’t have a nasty, naughty nymph lurking deep within her, you’re doing her a great disservice by leaving an important part of her unsatisfied. And failing to satisfy women creates problems for you, both in sleeping with new women, and in hanging onto the ones you’ve already got.

If you’re a woman, and you’ve been keeping your naughty side under lock-and-key, even with your boyfriends, well... you should probably think about reconsidering that... before you explode. There is great seductive power in naughtiness, and a woman who knows how to tap into her naughty, steer it, and control it is one who knows how to work men with the best of them, and consistently get what she wants.

Yet, in case you are not yet convinced, I’ve compiled a list of the seven (7) key reasons why all girls are naughty girls... and you should find each of these seven reasons every part fun, and informative. Here’s each reason, in no particular order.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Sam2's picture


Good job reminding us women's naughty side.

Personally, I would not lament their naughtiness, but I have been several times in situations with women where I lamented the non-linear, rocky, and unpredictable way to unlock this...naughtiness.

Many times it is ridiculous that you have to deal with resistance even as a sexy man, even when the woman admits openly her attraction to you, even if you are the guy who receives comments about his "penetrative gaze", his "sexy expressive talk", his skill in "fucking a woman's brain"; not to mention, even if you touch her, kiss her or even undress her.

So, yes, their naughtiness is very much welcome, but the amount of work you have to put to see it sometimes feels annoying.

Is social conditioning and ASD (Anti-Slut Defense to blame? When you encounter it, should you give the woman a break and show "patience"?

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, I think that's more or less entirely social conditioning.

When you meet women in major party environments, for instance, where they're completely socially anonymous (I'm thinking women partying on vacation outside their home countries here mostly), and especially if they're from cultures that don't teach their members to internalize shame and guilt, and those environments are otherwise safe environments too, they drop all pretenses, all efforts to act like they are "not like that", and simply indulge in going after purely what they want.

All the defenses women put up are there to protect their social reputations... but when those reputations get tossed aside, the defenses go with them, too.

As for dealing with it - the best way to deal with it is to create an environment that poses zero risk to her defenses. If you are an anonymous guy with no ties to her socially whom she has no chance to lock down into a relationship, but she feels attraction for, you frequently won't encounter resistance at all if she's genuinely interested in you, because there's no point - she's not going to hang onto you, and you're no risk to her, and she's fully comfortable with you - so, like that anonymous party environment, she will choose to simply indulge. If you can't remove all risk - e.g., you know her socially - then your best bet is just working through her objections and getting her to the point where they've all been overcome and she's primed and ready for the next step with you.


bigfan's picture

Hey Chase,

I've been reading on this site for a while now and it's the #1 Internet-Site I'm glad to have discovered.
Especially your articles are very insightful and most of the time just common sense with the right perspective and mindset.

I don't know if it's the right place for this but I have some suggestion for articles which I would love to read.

1. A List of Books you find inspirational/every man should read
2. How do exercise to have more stamina in the sack?

Kind regards from Germany

Chase Amante's picture


Happy to hear it! The book article I've got covered here:

Recommended Reading

... and as for stamina, if you haven't seen this article yet, this position should solve most of those concerns:

Make Her Orgasm Hard from Sex in 8 Minutes or Less

... but, just in case you want an extra edge, I've been doing pushups to failure every weekday morning and evening for some time now, and I've found this has helped a good deal with how much stamina I have for remaining in a "normal" missionary position with body propped up on straightened arms. I do them slowly, with hands close to my body / elbows touching my ribs, for a harder workout and fewer reps (also do them on my knuckles on a hard floor to toughen my knuckles - pretty tough the first week or two, but your knuckles harden up fast).

I always used to hate pushups, but it only takes a few minutes to do these, and you feel great and clearheaded afterwards too - nice way to wake up fast in the morning, and clear the fog from your head after sitting down for dinner.


destropie's picture

Chase, in one of your articles you recommended a book "talent is overrated" and I'd like to say thank you! I don't know why this book is not popular in my country and I don't even think it got to be translated which is such a shame as it's undoubtedly an invaluable read.

I'd like to share my observations on a little different topic though and wonder what yours are in the area. What do you think is the correlation between intelectual powers and the level of arrogance? I've noticed people who hold above average intelligence level tend to be arrogant at times. I can see it both in friends and in my professional life. A couple of years ago I met a guy who was in business I was not yet but I was aspiring to be at that stage. It was an accidental meeting on a sports ground and we continued to be sport buddies while I asked him questions and we talked a lot about his business. I felt I was learning a lot from this guy and we shared our observations and opinions on a given area. After a year or so we started hanging out more often as I got into the field and started doing things on my own. I thought highly of him, he was very intelligent and nice, well mannered person. Then we started hanging out more often and it was he who started calling me up let's go and grab some lunch. In the course of time my picture of him changed. I've noticed he was extremely dominant. From different stories and situations from his life I gathered he treated his girlfriend as nothing and she was doing everything under his command. At first, I was happy we started hanging out because I was learning a lot from him and he kinda of had someone to talk to about the area of his work. It looked as if we were both interested in the what we did and in sharing our works. But then I realized he had actually tons of acquaintances but a few friends who really spend a considerable amount of time in his presence. It was a very strange experience and I didn't know how to handle this guy. On the one hand he taught me a lot, oftentimes strongly encouraged me to do what I did and was a huge motivating factor to keep up my work. On the other hand - and came as a huge problem - he started snapping at me at one point. We would be out somewhere and talking but all of a sudden he would casually toss a comment like "fuck, you don't know anything" or "start thinking man" and countinued a conversation up to the topic. He even started critisizing me while I was driving even though I'm a very good driver. He would snap with things like" man concentrate!" and so on. It was kinda hard to go back at him with similar comments because he was really smart and the truth is the was always the fastest to pick up on things, connect them and put all the pieces together. However, I couldn't go on with the snaps even though he came up with things like that once or two times in a meeting. I sat down one day after a meeting and thought that our hanging out became stressful to me not fun anymore. Last time I saw him was when we were out and grabbed beer. We both drank a lot and I told him I found him arrogant and too dominant as a person. He accepted what I said and talked and laughed and everything was cool. But the next day, I concluded I put myslef out too much and I decided to cut him out anyway. A couple of days ago I finished one of my first projects and sent it to him as his opinion was always helpful. He came back with a very short feedback like: there are some moments your work is great, looks like you've made progress". I said thank you but asked for more details about what he didn't like because I wanted to correct things. He then went on with things which I knew wasn't there. I told him to give me exact examples in which points A, B, C it happens to back up his examples. He didn't and he said that he just dosn't like this work it's not to his taste. And then he followed that up with unecessary rude comment what it looks like.
At this point I decided to cut him out completely. Not because I can't stand criticism but the latest example simply shows who he was. First - attempt to be a nice guy, but later - went on the frank side all the way.

I described this example because I sometimes run into such people and it's kind of hard to handle them. I DON'T UNDERSTAND the mechanism behind such a behaviour. These are people who will once get out of their ways to show you something and teach you a lot and then they will snap at you - here is what I heard form one guy lately: "most of you will never reach my level."

Personally, I'm able to accept somebody's arrogance when it's a result of them not having people skills and simply not feeling something sounds "out of tone". But people I know and I know they are very linguistically intelligent and articulate, and I'm sure they do realize something they want to say or say sounds tactless and rude I can't stop but wonder why they say things like that? The only reason I could come up is that maybe they are so fast at things that they get irritated when they see people try and not being able to come up to their line so they get edgy and have to let the steam off at times. Can it be the reason for the arrogance?

Anyways, I'm not happy with myself because I haven't figured out how to handle such people and only cut out those I could, like this friend, and try to avoid those I must be exposed to one way or another somewhat.

Another question I wanted to ask is do you think we should give people the same treatment? Even if we don't feel like? Just give you a short example. I try to call one of my friends and can't get through for two weeks. I text him finally - man are you alive? He texts back with "yeah man, i'm on holiday". It makes me feel like an idiot, when I'm on holiday I shoot a text immediately "can't talk now will call you back". What I'm saying is I always try to call back to people or inform them I can't talk. I can't imagine I ignore somebody's calls for like 3 weeks and then act like nothing happened. To me, it's like coming up to somebody and asking a question and the person turns his back at you and walks away without saying a word like" sorry can't talk now".

In the dating life I immediately write off girls who don't respond. I don't even switch up on them with text, call, text. No.
But I don't know what to do with people I'm already in touch with. Should I give them the same treatment? This friend comes back from holiday and calls me. Should I rush to answer his call or call back if I can't? Or give him 3 weeks or radio silence when everybody knows it's a phone. You simply see somebody called you. Somebody wanted to talk to you, ask you something or had a problem with something.

What do you think? I ask such questions because I generally like people and I respect people. However, I also noticed that people respect you a lot more when you show them you don't need them. And it's sadly true especially with friends.

Chase Amante's picture


Arrogance seems to be a result from continually pulling off victories, more than it is a side effect of intelligence directly. However, you will meet plenty of people who use their intellects to dominate others, as with that friend of yours, so you’ll meet plenty of intelligent, arrogant people (you’ll also meet some really smart folks who are the nice, most genuinely humble people in the world, because, while smart, they just aren’t all that interested in *winning*).

When you’re winning at a consistently high level, the world starts to look different. I had a few friends like this when I was NOT like this, and it was jarring. One of my business-owner friends like this about 5 years ago, when I was still an employee working a 9-to-5, spoke with another friend of his, who’d recently just met me, and the other guy had said, “You know, Chase is a really smart, capable guy, but he’s just not at our level yet.” I was a little annoyed at this, but kind of understood what he meant - there was something there I could feel was accurate about the statement, but I couldn’t really describe what it was because I wasn’t in a place to know it yet.

These days, I know exactly what it is, and if I met that friend’s friend again I’m pretty certain he’d tell you I’m at his level or over it. The common thread usually seems to be that the people who are this way are the ones who feel completely in command of their lives - their women, their income streams, everything. They can dial things up or dial them down whenever they want; they NEVER walk on eggshells around others out of fear of losing a relationship, friendship, or job (though they may sometimes filter themselves to better meet their objectives - but there’s zero fear or anxiety there). Essentially, it’s being able to just speak frankly without a filter. They are free in ways that most people are not and cannot be and will not ever be.

When you feel in full control of your life and free from fear, it allows you to easily point things out to others that those others may not even be aware of, because they’re operating at a lower level of awareness. You come off as much more perceptive, because you are - mainly because all the mental energy that most people spend to worrying and filtering you do not. You simply just point out things that seem silly, ridiculous, or wrong, and assume others will either correct their behavior or challenge you back if what you’ve pointed out is inaccurate.

In the case of your friend, he knew you brushed him off, and then came back and asked him to do you a favor. That’s something that anyone who’s socially aware picks up on instantly and finds insulting… it’s an obvious attempt to gain an upper hand in a relationship from a weaker position (e.g., the girl who’s failing at friend zoning you, so she brushes you off, then comes back a week or two later and asks you to help her write her paper). His response was to basically be a dick back, which was his way of saying, “I know what you’re doing; it’s insulting, and F-that!” I did this for a long time; the higher level way of dealing with this sort of thing is to just ignore the request and say, “Hey, I’m really busy, but if you want to grab a beer sometime we can do that.”

You do need to treat people differently - just as you can’t chase women and expect them to like you, nor can you chase friends. You have to match their interest levels and go a bit below. When someone goes ghost on you for a while and then shoots a “yeah man I’m on holiday” text, he’s basically telling you you’re a Tier II or Tier III friend to him… cool to hang out with sometimes, but not that important. Treat accordingly.


Flamingo's picture


I've recently discovered that there is a tremendous amount of pick up material for women out there.
Some of it from the men and quite legit.

Can you post an article on how to detect that the girl is 'gaming' you while in reality she is chasing ?
Or post a report if you have personally encountered it.


Chase Amante's picture


Sure, I can write about that - this is something you'll see from time to time. Much of girl game is more centered on collecting orbiters than anything else - see the article on flirty girls for more on that - but there's a specific flavor of girl game focused on steering men they like into committed relationships... you'll most often see this with women in their upper 20s and beyond.

I'll do a post on it.


Anonymous's picture

WOW CHASE, WOW. I was going to ask you a question about this right now and saw this article. Great minds think alike!

I too noticed that a lot of good girls who appear innocent or the very soft, motherly types have this naughty side to them. It's like when you look at their pictures they'll seem soft and everything and then all of a sudden you'll see one or two where they either look naughty or confident in a dominant way. I thought this was really strange. It begs the question though, do they want to feel naughty or do they want to feel like the good girl (or is it just a natural cycle where they need both?) I wonder if it has to do with biological instincts and her "time of the month."

Secondly, about the desire thing. Would you say that all women want to feel this? I'm asking because there are different styles of "game" and to desire a girl is more on the direct side of game where a man knows what he wants and goes for it. But doesn't this require a man to invest all his desire even before talking to the girl? The attraction can be off the wall when I'm in this mode but I notice that A) it only works when you think a girl is super hot (in a way where you haven't seen a super hot girl in a long time or she just happens to be what you're craving), and B) it puts all your cards on the table (which isn't a bad thing if you're super confident, but it's almost as if you've decided, purely based on her looks/way she carries herself, that you want to fck her and only her, even before having met her). How does this theory apply when we look at cases where dominant, confident women like submissive men, and when women are the ones chasing (say, when a guy is playing hard to get)

Chase Amante's picture


So long as their social reputations are protected, women LOVE feeling naughty, yes. The only ones who don't are the ones who are so repressed that they have mental walls built up around feeling naughty (but their subconsciouses long for this more deeply than any other women's do), and the ones with zero sex drive (asexuals). Women just love feeling desired and desirous.

The women who pursue submissive men tend to do it because they enjoy the thrill of "discovering" a man who's a diamond in the rough - they want to find that special guy that all the other girls haven't noticed because they're "too stupid." For them, this is a special kind of desirability - they're going to find a hidden gem of a man, and then unlock his love and sex potential so that he is ALL theirs and they will command ALL of his attentions. It's a way of finding one guy who is laser-focused in his desire, channeled directly to them.


Anonymous's picture

Chase, some gurus talk about body positioning and how you should or shouldn't face women when talking to them. How important is that stuff?


Chase Amante's picture


Body positioning is extremely important. How much of your body you give a woman indicates how interested in her you are. What you're essentially looking for is how much of your body you give her vs. how much of hers she gives you. You want to start off aloof, usually (speaking to her over your shoulder), and then turn more and more of yourself to her as she opens up to you and turns herself more and more toward you.

When you're in control of an interaction, you typically want to be giving a girl slightly more of your body than she is giving you of hers, since you are pacing things and want to pace things so that they are moving forward. When you are not yet in control, you want to give her slightly less of your body than she gives you, since she is pacing things and you want to resist her pacing rather than submit to it.


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

I've come across a few shy girls in my social circle/work place recently and they are the hardest to bed!

I know you've covered this before and basically having good fundamentals is the only way to ensure a smooth experience with these girls. Admittedly I'm far from perfecting my fundamentals and am very inexperienced myself, not the smoothest guy (perhaps a bit blunt), though I am very confident/social around people.

As a confident, loud and outgoing guy, I find that shy girls get extremely nervous around me, and often put their walls up compared to other "friendly" guys.

Too direct/too much sexual vibe and I've already scared them away.
Too much sexual tension and they get very uncomfortable and shut down before long.
A bit too much teasing and they end up feeling insulted.
Casual flirting (mostly unintentional) with other girls (or even just talking to other guys) and they turned cold, probably feeling unwanted/undesired, not being treated as a "special" girl.

Acting aloof around them and they think I don't really like them after all, and end up ignoring me rather than chasing me.
And yet when I pay them a bit too much attention (chasing them a bit), they get scared because they don't like to be put under the spotlight.

Admittedly I've missed a few escalation windows from these girls (very brief) but these only occur when the timing is right and the vibe gets very sexy, which I find difficult to induce with them as they often put the barriers up as soon as things turn sexy/uncomfortable to them.

However from what I've gathered they'd rather date the "friendly/harmless" guys who are just as insecure as them, and prefer doing "friends" stuff with those guys. They're the kind of girls who seem like they'd want to take it slow (possibly with friends that they are very comfortable with), although I never doubt that they are every bit as naughty as you have described in this article.

Now, what would be the best way to seduce these girls then (apart from keep improving my fundamentals)?

Do I propose doing "friends" stuffs (rather than dates), being nice and friendly while ramping up the sexual undertones to subtly announce my intention?

Or do I announce my intention directly, make the hard push and risk scaring them away?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Chase Amante's picture


With shier girls, the reason these girls are harder for more inexperienced men is that you need tighter control of the emotional flow of the interaction - that is, building tension up, then releasing it; then building it back up further, then releasing it. If you're familiar with push-pull, that's what this is; only, done very consistently throughout the interaction. You need pretty good instincts for when you've pushed her right up to the border of auto-rejection, and then break the tension before she goes over. Then, once everything's calm, you ratchet it back up again.

Done right, you provide an emotional experience for an inexperienced girl that's unlike anything she's experienced before - she's alternating between almost hating you, and then feeling very comfortable around you, and then excited, and then almost hating you, and then comfortable again, and so on.

If you can't manage this (and this is a skill it takes some time to get down), you can always just go for date compression instead - rather than trying to walk the emotional balance tightrope, just build things up with her slowly and gradually (relative to using expert-level push-pull, anyway) over a compressed period of time instead.


Wolf's picture

Hey chase, I've been keeping myself very busy, but I still can't shake these bad memories. It's so serious that these bad memories or making have so many emotions and they give me headaches. I feel like these bad memories are literally killing me. I don't know what to else to do, I feel emotions of anger, hate, and revenge.

I always worry about how people think of me to the extreme. I think what if someone brings up something to make me look bad infront of the new girls and friends in my life? What if they try to say im being a fake and I never use to be so confident and they bring up bad things from the past to make me look worse to other people. I worry about that stuff so much.

1. What can I do about these bad memories before I end up doing something crazy or going crazy? I think about bad memories 24/7 and it's like poison im slowly dying from.

2. I know you can't stop worrying about what others think, but how do you careless?
I worry so much about how Im perceived.

3. How do I handle a situation when there's multiple people in a group and they join up to tear me down with bad things that happened in the past?

thanks brother

Chase Amante's picture


There’s not really anything else I can say any different from what I’ve said before in response to your questions on getting over the past or dealing with people haranguing you. If you didn’t read those comments, or you did but forgot my answers, look them up - you’ll see the same questions from you, and responses from me. That’s all I’ve got.

On coolness and dominance, study “The Law of Least Effort” and “Sprezzatura, Effort, and Investing” until it they click. The moment they do, you won’t need to worry about this anymore.

I’m not really sure how to change a reputation among a select group of people who have a set image of you. Once it’s set, it’s pretty much set… you can change it with enough time and enough dramatic examples, but usually it’s best to just change groups / areas / cities and start fresh. Even today, when I meet people from my past, they still think of me the way they used to know me, even though I’m nothing like that. They mainly want to talk about things you used to do (“Hey man, are you ever going to hit the studio again and finish recording your album? I want to hear you on the radio!”) and are unable to see you as you are now.

There are a million wonderful, incredible, amazing places you can live in the world and do and see all kinds of things, and thousands of fun ways you can make money in any of them (bartender, retail worker, office job, freelance work, online business, etc.)… why are you still hanging out in the same town with the same go-nowhere friends when everything there has grown stale and you’ve finally outgrown the place? A bird can’t stretch its wings inside a tiny cage.


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, how are things going in your end of the world? :)

I`ve got a question regarding a good posture and the walk...

I`ve read almost all your fundamentals articles and am trying to implement them in any way i can...

Anyway, to get to the point, i am, per your instructions, walking slowly, moving my head and arms slowly,
my chest puffed out, head held high, shoulders back - but not overly puffed out chest and overly held head high - i don`t want to seem like a rooster...

The thing i have encountered is that a close relative of mine have noticed it and has jokingly notified me..
Also he told me that some of his friends have noticed that as well and have joked to him about my walk.
They have said something like: "your relative walks like he has just liberated the town" - meaning i have a very confident walk in some peoples eyes ( the way i see it )

Now my question is, if they have noticed it, so i guess the girls have noticed it too..

Now since i live in a town where people are mostly cynical and look to tool others at every possible way, i would say
that my confident walk have intimidated those men and that i am now a thorn in their eyes because of my walk...

Either that or i have overexaggerated with those instructions you have put.

But i have a feeling that i haven`t exaggerated anything regarding my walk...

What are your thoughts on this one Chase ??

Anonymous's picture

I'm not sure I really understand your question. The main objective in learning the sexy walk is so that you turn girls' heads. They will notice your uber confident walk. In fact, it happened to me one time at a banquet. I had just won a raffle and walked up to claim my prize. The emcee, who knew me, joked I'd better hurry or he'll give the prize to someone else, as I was taking my time to get up to where he was. I still took my time, walking towards a girl that the banquet hired to get all dressed up and sell raffle tickets and parade auction items so that the guys can drool. She was a rather attractive woman in my book. As I walked up to get to claim my prize, I could see her checking me out from head to toe!

And if you develop your peripheral vision, you will soon find women checking you out, as I have caught them doing when I walk into the gym. The human eye is very sensitive to motion, so that's why you'd want to use your peripheral vision. If you are staring, it's quite obvious to your target and she will look your way because something caught her attention. That's why you want to use your peripheral vision, so as to avoid biasing the result. You want to know that she is checking you out her on accord.

Anonymous's picture

Exactly my thoughts...

I am very aware of the peripheral vision and i am trying to use it as much as possible..

I almost rarely look at a girl for longer than 2 seconds, for me not to seem like the chaser and also not to seem like i haven`t seen a girl in years...

Now, what i wanted to ask is, are those comments from those men made like they see me a better male then them or just because i went to far with my fundamentals...

Though, ever since i started reading on these fundamental things and implementing them in my own life, i`ve noticed girls checking me out more than they used to.

Thanks on your reply.
It will sure help me narrow down my obvious staring at girls.

Anonymous's picture

I think I know what you are saying.

The best answer I can give you from my own life experiences is to learn to not give a care about what other people think. How's that saying go? People criticize in others what they are too afraid to pursue themselves. Caring about what other people think also sets limiting beliefs for yourself.

When I started trying the sexy walk, I was quite self-conscious that other people will find out what I was up to. Most people didn't and those that did showed they knew non-verbally by looking a bit nervous.

Over time, I realized I was just being self-conscious because I didn't have confidence in my own abilities. So what if they knew? If they had the wherewithal, they would be improving themselves, too. I would also turn the walk into a little game. Whenever I am in the city, I would deliberately walk slowly and in a straight line, just to see how people would react. 99% of the people often moved out of the way. And I am a fairly short guy, so this was very humorous for me. That just reinforces the notion that I am a confident, sexy man.

Ultimately, the walk just provides a biofeedback loop between your mind and body (Feeling down? Walk with you head held high and soon you will start feeling happy.) You are trying to fake it until you make it. I would ignore all those Negative Nellies that are challenging you. After all, I have noticed that most people truly are not into self-improvement so why should I listen to them?

Anonymous's picture


You could not have put it any other way..

I agree 200% with what you said and i thank you for the voice of opinion..

This is exactly the type of mindset i am trying to get myself into..

"How's that saying go? People criticize in others what they are too afraid to pursue themselves. "

Truest saying ever.

I know a similiar saying and it goes like this: "People are happier at others misfortune rather than at their own fortune" ...

Which makes this kind of a thing all the more wanting from my side..

The exact same self-conscious feelings you described, i had it when i first started walking sexy... And i really had doubts...

Reading this makes me even more confident of pushing forward, and having someone say "F*ck what they think" gives an additional boost..

Thanks again mate.
Hope life rewards you the same way you rewarded me.

Wolf's picture

What can I do chase that can make me so cool and dominant that people wouldn't even care about what someone says bad happened to me in the past? How can I be so cool that people just assume that whoever is trying to make me look bad, are lying about what ever they're trying to tell about me?

What can I do to be and look so cool that it doesn't matter what anyone says about Me and that people just ignore what others say that's negative about me and think they're just bull shitting to ladder climb.

I know when I get even better in my life, people will try to bring me down and talk about the old me and make rumors so people can think less of me.

Like they'll say, "I remember you didn't get any girls back in the day, blah blah", when they see me getting girls now. And they'll say I changed from a goody too shoes, to a tough guy. and im being fake. How do handle that situation?

One thing that sticks to me is when these people said, "you will always be who you were in high school and that will never change no matter what".
Is that true at all?

Thanks man, im done with this past stuff

Jimbo's picture

You need to add some social grace to your dominance/confidence and calibrate, otherwise you'll just come off as an asshole and people will react negatively to you (like trying to berate you, remind you how inept you were in high school, etc.)

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, do you have any articles on pressure/tension ??

The last couple of articles on girlschase have opened my eyes a bit and with this last girls comments that made me think about my actions, i have a slight problem that i would try to improve as fast as possible...

I know how to make myself be relaxed, effortless, but it seems i have a hard time easing on the pressure on the girl and making the interaction as relaxed as it can be..

This last girl commented something that she felt pressure by me, upon my failed escalation...

She wanted to get to know me, to build a friendship ( which i am against at any cost - the more time passes the worse it will get )

Anyway, i have remembered my past interactions with other girls as well, and i can note that i made them feel some pressure instead of getting them to relax and enjoy..

They did enjoy our conversations, but they felt the pressure..

And since my eyes got opened, i saw what i did to make the pressure...

I might have been trying to hard, thus making them go to auto-rejection...

I know i made a mistake of calling way to often, insisting way to often instead of calmly and confidently persisted when it mattered..

Summing all that up, i made pressure and tension instead of releasing it..

I haven`t stumbled across such an article, so if you can pin point me to some articles here on girlschase that could help my problem..

or maybe add a few steps on how to deal with this situation and that is: "Building the wrong type of tension and putting pressure on women"..

Thanks again.
Your site, your articles, your teaching have made me look things in seduction and in life in general from a whole new perspective...


Chase Amante's picture


Yes - it's important to not let interactions get too heavy... too laden with pressure and tension that the girl spazzes out and has to get away. The main article on this on GC is this one:

... and the other ones on releasing tension, usually with humor, are here:

It's easiest to think of a seduction as a dance; you take one step forward, pushing her backward, and then you take a step back, bringing her forward. If you just drive forward the whole time, she'll start to feel like she's being pushed back more and more and liable to trip over herself backwards and fall down. Make it fluid, bring her back and forth, while gently guiding her in the overall direction you want her to go, so that it is a fun experience, and one that is rhythmic and smooth.


Anonymous's picture

I've often wondered about this. How can I cum all over her face? It turns me on big-time just thinking about it. I have heard that most girls don't like it so I have been to chicken to even ask.

You mentioned that they have had just about every kind of naughty fantasy you can think of. Should I just dominate her by pounding her roughly then leading to what I want by mentioning that I really want to cum on her face several times, just to set up a frame so she knows what to expect. That way, if she doesn't protest I just go for it?

Flames's picture

I 'found out' recently it's better just to get it out of your system (so to speak) and do it. Most women like a man to do wants he wants to them in bed as it shows dominance. Some might get a bit annoyed but really they are the ones who arnt that into you and/or worth keeping.

I actually did this and had one girl appolagise to me, which left me a bit stunned. :)


Anonymous's picture

How do you transition smoothly though? For example, if I'm doggying her, and I'm about to cum, I want her to get up on her knees. Do I just stop thrusting, lead her by standing her up on her knees, then stand up myself and start jerking off? (At this point, it's should be pretty obvious to her what I want to do to her.) Is it really that simple?

Chase Amante's picture

Like Flames says.

Don't try to build up to it. Just give it to her good, so that she's having a great time, and, when you're ready, pull out and tell her to turn around and put it on her face. Or, have her give you a blow job, and then pull out and finish on her face.

Just make sure you give her great sex the rest of the time, and she's not going to begrudge you a little semen soaking now and then.


Gem's picture

Hey Chase

I wanted to ask about a couple different things that I’ve seen/been wondering about lately.

I’ve seen occasionally throughout the years a few different guys (in and outside of the gym) that will brag a lot about nailing different girls. Some of these guys have stories that are similar to other stories of theirs; their stories are often fairly obscure and conjecturably these guys are being dishonest “about the hot babe they totally banged last night”. I’ve been wondering about this, how you know when guys that are bragging are legit or just making stuff up (just out of curiosity)? And will there be guys that have really solid seduction skills that will still brag a lot about women they get (or do the two things not go together i.e. if a guy is amazing with women he automatically won’t be able to boast about it or be able to eagerly and extensively kiss and tell about it).

The other thing I was wondering about was an older lady I’ve been flirting/bantering with back and forth at my gym (being smooth/ calibrated and all that; all very effortlessly). This lady has a daughter that’s a couple years older than me I found out and I was teasing the lady “introduce me to her” (a lady that I’d been telling to be my sweetheart, and run away with me to Paris and flirting with and all that) ;). She said ‘no you’re bad, you’re trouble” and I said “you should! I’m a very nice boy, I’m a good boy really ;)”.

This was just sort of fun, light stupid bantering (and I am very cognizant always of that divergence between girls that I’m making progress with and girls I’m not and to not spend too much time getting validation and flirting with women who I can’t or won’t end up in bed with. I try to make sure the moments I spend with women who I’m not actively progressing towards are brief but fun and possibly educating; I may learn about women by just being around women more and being playful and inquisitive with them) but it got me thinking about something Zan had written about how “mothers would jokingly (playfully but deliberately) keep their daughters away” from him.

And I got to thinking about why that is (what is the reason for that)?

I thought about it, and hypothesized that if you show yourself as a lover to a mother you sort of impliedly display that you aren’t boyfriend material (just as you do to a girl). And then, if you’re seen as a sexy but untrustworthy trouble maker, then a mother would be attracted to you and think you’re attractive but not a good candidate for long term potential (for her or for a daughter).

Something else I realized here also is that friends’ parents of mine and girlfriends’ parents of mine have always loved me, however, this has been because I’ll be polite, courteous, and charismatic around them (as well as attempt to be calibrated to whatever cultural/religious norms may be there). I’ll be less of a devious, sex-symbol character around them and more charming boyfriend material.

Yes, that’s it I think! (I just had a sort of epiphany as I write this right now) I recall now that my mother’s high school friends visited a while back and they all half-joked about how I should marry their daughters (arranged marriage is big in the culture I’m from) and what a smart, well-mannered, good-looking boy I was. I might have made a joke or two in talking with them and otherwise I was just sort of polite, reserved, calm, well-mannered and nothing particularly special besides that (and had no sexy being overtly radiated from me here either).

Anyway, these thoughts are all sort of scattered, but am I sort of on the right track here would you say? And would it be possible to get a mom to introduce you to her daughter (you’d have to show yourself as not sexy and as a boyfriend type instead of lover type to the mom I would guess)? And in my case what could I do if I wanted to switch targets from mom to daughter (or is it too late in my case).

Let me know what you think



Chase Amante's picture


Yes, there are guys who make up their sex stories (generally they’re guys who lie about lots of things, and do so frequently), though these seem to be a small segment of the population; there are many MORE who exaggerate (sometimes grossly) the hotness of the girls they’re sleeping with. But I know a lot of guys who do get laid a lot (I’ve been with them when they’ve picked up / heard them pounding their girls out in the next room / we’ve picked up together) and who still brag tons, usually because they get their validation from sleeping with women (phallic narcissism, if you care for the DSM), so racking up new notches makes them feel like re-validated as men every time.

You can generally tell the liars because their sex stories will tend to be extravagant, and because you suspect them of lying on other subjects, too - I’ve never met a guy who lied about sex stories and ONLY sex stories. The guys who exaggerate you can best tell by being cautious when guys start talking about how HOT this girl they slept with was… usually they mean “hot” as in “flashy”, and not hot as in “strikingly beautiful.” Generally, if a guy is really excited and talking about how, “Oh man, I just met this HOT girl… she’s REALLY cute,” I find his women aren’t that attractive. The laid back ones who barely talk about it and occasionally say something like, “Yeah, I met this girl recently… she’s pretty cute,” and then drop it, those guys tend to be the guys who are getting the stunners.

Re: mothers and lovers, parents have their children’s long-term objectives in mind, and want children to follow a more conservative path. Because they have less control over the lives their children lead than those children have themselves, but they have every bit as much invested in their children’s lives as the children themselves do (i.e., their genetic and memetic legacies), they will tend to steer them toward conservative influences that will give them a high probability of both genetic success and resource support. So, while a girl herself may find the bad boy exciting because he is emotionally stimulating and there is a chance that maybe she can even tame the bad boy and keep him for herself, the mother view the bad boy from a much more risk-averse perspective, acknowledges that her daughter is unlikely to tame the bad boy, and steers the daughter away from this riskier proposition.

Kind of like how you feel CERTAIN you’ll win big at gambling - because hey, it’s you - but if it’s one of your buddies, you’re going to tell him to take it easy and not get too caught up in throwing his money away… after all, the house almost always wins.

I’ve heard plenty of stories in more conservative cultures of parents introducing prospective mates to their daughters; it used to be how it was done in the United States, pre-industrial revolution, too (girls mostly either met men at a town dance, or through introductions by relatives). The breakdown in Western community structure and the rise in urban anonymity has made this less frequent, but I’ve had women in the past try to introduce me to their daughters too, come to think of it (been a long time since that happened, but back in the day…). The key seems to be coming across as a strong, solid, dependable long-term provider sort - the kind who’s *just* the right mix of attractive lover qualities with staid, reliable provider ones. Enough so that the woman finds you exciting herself, but ALSO a good, low-risk, high-upside option for her daughter. I’m not sure how far along you are with the older woman at your gym, so it might be difficult to build that reputation, but one path you might try is at some point after joking around with her, getting serious and telling her a story that paints you as the dependable provider-type who only ACTS like the saucy lover-type (e.g., the story about how you had this girl you were dead-set on marrying, but you found out only too late that she’d lied about her past and hadn’t been faithful to you, etc.). Something like that can humanize you more and give you a better shot.


Flames's picture

I'm just kidding.

It's absolutely true, one of the things I learned early on is how to embrace the naughtiness I've no idea how I unlocked this talent. Maybe it's a combination of being non judgemental & imaginative with a high sex drive. I've actually had someone say I could write steamy novels, lol

I've got a non related question though, recently I've been noticing quite a fee compliments come my way. Which obviously is quite nice but also I've noticed that the girl will say that she's also good in the same way.

Would I be right in thinking this (and I'm struggling for the right words here) some sort of demonstration of value with a bit of comfort/rapport. Like she's saying I'm high value, but so is she? Does that make sense?


Chase Amante's picture


Yes, sounds like she's trying to force a connection there. When you see girls doing this, they're usually ones who are feeling like you're just not noticing them or are acting like you're not all that connected to them, or they feel like they are losing you and you're drifting away from them a bit. It's intended to serve as a reminder: "You're this way. I'm this way too! Wow, we're so similar, aren't we?" I have girlfriends do this a lot when I'm acting cooler toward them.

This girl probably values having you in her life in some capacity or other, and feels like you're starting to slip away and she might lose you in that capacity, so she's trying to remind you of your connection to one another.


Anonymous's picture

is this why they dont like nice guys? Even those who are genuinly moving relationship forward trying to make something happen? Because they think he would be "nice in bed" too? I am not nice for girls, I am nice and kind to everyone, always smile when I am speaking with someone new and things like that, not because she is a girl.

I have a second question about what I do and other guys do. I just read the article about staying unfazed but it was not it. I never turned around after a girl to look at her ass because I kinda felt like it was not worth it. Or maybe I subconsciously followed the law of least effort. I just never felt like doing so. But it looks like other guys get struck when girls show their boobs a bit or even fix a string of their bras on shoulder or do something "girly". Example from my life would be, a friend of mine got into train and found me there, she went home from an exam and was all dressed up. After sitting down, she made herself conformtable and then was fixing her boobs while still looking me in the eye and talking. She is one of those "friends" that do not really see me as a guy, more like a lamp from a sexual stand point. I was just stone cold, unaffected, I saw what she was doing but kept look into her eyes like I dont see anything. I wanted to ask if I should do this, just ignore that? Or should I try to be funny and say something like "Are you trying to make me nervous? /or seduce me?". And if she was like "what?" I would do that gesture like I was fixing my boobs. I am asking this because it seems to me like if a female friend does it, she thinks she just can, that I will do anything or that I am gay to her or something of that sort. So basically she just can do it and not feel embarrased. Or should I act nervous with new girls I am trying to seduce? Like a bit or just call her out on it? Like a year ago I read some discussion on seduction topic a guy wanted to know what does it mean if girl takes her lipstick in front of him and apply it on her lips, if it means she wants him to kiss her. And the guy responded with "you are overthinking". I am not mentioning this because of the situation but more of... well girly thing they do. Because my assumption would be they try to struck you with their femininity. Like if a girl is taking off her button down sweater. That she leans forward and takes it off her shoulders first and sticks out her boobs, all done slowly, looking at you, maybe while you are talking to see how you react. As I said, I would view it as a test. If a really beautiful girl did something like that, my assumption she wants to see if it has any effect on you. Should you act as if it has no effect on you, but maybe if you called her out on that you would show her that you noticed, while she has your reaction that you were like rock, unaffected?
Have a nice day

Chase Amante's picture


It's more that "nice guys" just aren't attractive to women on a number of different levels - check out these three articles for a better understanding of this:

In the case of the female friend, with something like that, I'd let my eyes wander down to her breasts at about medium speed, leave them there for a half moment, and then bring them back up to look at her seductively, and give her a little knowing smile. Essentially, if she's going to do explicitly sexual things around her, you must give her some response if you don't want to look like, well, that asexual lamp. Don't flip out, but don't act unmoved, either. Women need to know there is a fire of sexual energy that runs through your veins at all times, and that if they get too close, the flames will consume them (this is exciting for them).

Don't call her out on it with anything verbal... sexual men don't get nervous; they get intrigued, and a bit excited, without losing their composure. Give her indications instead that you are beginning mating preparations, and then she can either dial it down, or dial it up, per her interest levels.


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase how can you tell who the alpha female is in the group? Thanks

Chase Amante's picture


Look for the one who does the talking, makes the decisions, and to whom the others keep turning their attention to seek approval from.


Anonymous's picture

What's the process for escalating with a girl who's interested you right from the get go? Do you still need to find out her name or chit chat/deep dive? It would seem like two people would have to talk for at least a little bit before moving forward (especially if you're in some warm approach setting where people know eachother).

Chase Amante's picture


It depends on her interest level, but if she's VERY sexually interested in you immediately, you want to be doing nothing but handling logistics with her while making small talk on your way to somewhere private together. Too much slowing down of the interaction will cause her to think it isn't going anywhere and abandon ship (in search of a man who can better satisfy her desires).

These articles will serve well if you want some supplemental reading:


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase two questions,
1.)Can you have children in an open or semi monogamous relationship with women or do they only want monogamous for that?

2.)Why do normal women or disease free women have boyfriends that are "nice" guys but then cheat on them with bad boys, seems sort of mean, why don't they jsut wait until they have a relationship with those kind of guys or just stay single then sleep with bad boys? Cause they are just taking advantage of those nice guys otherwise.

3.) If you have to end a relationship early(like 3 or 4 months) not because of anything bad but for instance because you are not ready to begin a long relationship, or you want to experience the world and bachelorhood more first then sleep with tons of women, become satisfied with what you have experienced then realize you would like to have a long term relationship with that one girl you cut early with, are there any negative consequences to that, cause I know you said that you have an absolute rule that you will never get back together with the same girl if it was ended before?

Chase Amante's picture


Looks like three questions to me!

  1. Yes - just take a look at the rampant number of swinger / open marriages out there. These are much more prevalent in certain environments though - e.g., you're a lot more likely to have a woman receptive to an open marriage + children in Southern California than you are in the American South (you can still find women open to it in the latter, but environmentally it's a fair bit harder).

  2. This question seems to presume that any of this is a rational, emotionless decision that takes into full account the feelings and future consequences to all parties involved. Typically, cheating is an emotional, selfish decision that might lead to guilty feelings later ("I never should've slept with that guy... now I've given my husband herpes"), but those feelings aren't always enough beforehand to stop something from occuring - the brain rationalizes ("I'm sure this guy is safe" "My husband will never know" "There's not really any risk here"). As for why women don't break up with guys first - see this article: "How to Prevent Cheating by Your Girlfriend"

  3. Not if you're meeting and sleeping with enough women, and racking up quality lovers to boot. If you're not, you may find yourself plagued with "What if?"s, however


Anonymous's picture

Chase, my mother is very domineering and critical of me. I'm pretty sure she's the reason I'm so weak and submissive. I've tried to talk to my parents about changing their behavior but they don't listen. What can I do if I can't change her?

P.s. should I buy your products or subscribe to the articles? What is the difference?

Thank you

Chase Amante's picture


The best thing you can do is not live at home, and reduce contact with her to a bare minimum (occasional phone calls, the odd family get-together, etc.).

At some point after enough time on your own you will probably get strong enough to be able to talk with your mother candidly and make your point in a way that she understands and simply has to accept because she can't get face time with you otherwise. However, you won't build that strength without sufficient time away - kind of like if you're trying to build muscle mass and some big guy keeps coming and knocking the weights out of your hands every time you try, you won't be able to put him in his place until you go to some other gym, spend time lifting there without anyone knocking the weights out of your hands, and then, one day, if you care to, you can go back and stand your ground and establish a new set of rules at that old gym.

Re: products vs. a subscription - I suppose it depends on how you're using the site and what your goals are. If you're going out a lot and are actively working on your success with women, I'd probably recommend going with a product, for a condensed, directed lesson plan that can target you and give you structure. If you're just more casually reviewing the information and aren't in a place where you're ready to start going out and implementing it just yet, you might benefit more from the subscription and just reading a few articles every day or two and taking your time with information, browsing around to learn whatever interests you.


deus's picture

Just wana ask.. If women love raw sex badly. Have you tried letting them have it raw? Did you let them throw aside your condom? If yes how do you handle that and if not is there a safe way to have that?

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, of course, though to be responsible I'd advise you to be smart (and do as I say, not as I do ;).

Typically, the more sexually experienced you get the more gung-ho about protection you become. Not everyone - I know some guys who have pretty high lay counts and are still strict about wearing rubbers with every new girl they take... but most guys get a little lax somewhere along the line. Your ego goes up ("Nah, that'll never happen to ME!") and your experience of having sex with a bunch of girls without your cock falling off removes much of the sense of danger that less experienced guys who've gone through a lot of sex ed tend to feel. I've noticed myself personally that my own sex drive goes up quite a lot and my frequency of taking new girls does too when I give myself permission to eschew protection assuming the next girl doesn't seem TOO slutty, and most of my friends report the same thing. It's just more exciting for everyone all around when you're going in au naturel.

Saying that... you will tend to pick stuff up going raw with girls you don't know, even if you're pretty good about gauging which girls are loose / experienced (and thus likely to have something - so, you should probably wrap it up) and which girls are not (and thus, likely to be clean)... sometimes your read is just off, or you get that girl who's only had two lovers, but was just unlucky and one of them passed her something. So, you are gambling, and there's a large element of chance there... I know guys who've gone raw on hundreds of girls and didn't get anything permanent until girl #200 or 300, and guys who've gone raw on a handful of girls and come down with all kinds of things. Some folks are lucky, some are not. If you want to go raw but limit your exposure to skin-transmitted diseases (which tend to be the more long-lasting ones), I'd suggest picking up a bottle of carrageenan-based lubricant - more on that here: "How to Avoid STDs Even If You Have Lots of Sex."


deus's picture

Thank you for answering.. One last question.
Do you creampie girls? If yes how do u avoid pregnancy?
If not well i guess i should just wait for the right one to give my hot juice..
I know the pill but it makes them less horny right ? I wouldnt want that.
Just want to know if there's a way to maximize the experience safely..
Morning after pill maybe?
I heard they love the feeling of our juice inside them..

Juan Carlos 's picture

I would love a post on making a girl regret losing you.

Chase Amante's picture


Well, that mostly comes down to giving her a reason to rethink her initial dismissal or sidelining of you, and that all boils down to her realizing she either misjudged you as a lover, or misjudged you as a provider.

For the first, you need preselection; for the second, usually lots and lots of financial success. For practical reasons, #1 is usually the easier of the two to accomplish; I talked about setting up situations that'll make a girl rethink her dismissal of you in the article on second dates here: "3 Second Date Strategies to Make Her Flirt and Swoon."


Tico's picture

Hey yo Chase, what are the characteristics of an awkward person, what classifys as awkward cause I get called awkward sometimes but I cant pinpoint why, thanks a bunch man.

Chase Amante's picture


You can basically sum it up as awkward people being bad at communicating - usually, an awkward person thinks or wants to say/do one thing, only to filter him or herself ("Oh, I can't say that - it'll be weird"), without replacing it with anything else, creating an uncomfortable situation where you can tell he wants to say or do something but isn't speaking his mind, so you end up feeling like he's either afraid to, or has ulterior motives. Or, other times he expresses views or makes jokes that don't make sense to the other listeners present or aren't congruent with the situation.

Either way, it prevents you from being able to connect with him, because he seems self-stifled and insincere, or strange and unrelatable.

The only way to fix it is just mounds of socializing, so you can get used to breaking apart how other people socialize, what topics they socialize on, and begin aligning your own thoughts, actions, and behaviors with more usual social dialogue (for whatever groups you socialize with - what's cool with athletes may be awkward with gamers, and vice versa).


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