Tactics Tuesdays: Rewarding and Punishing with Phone Calls | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Rewarding and Punishing with Phone Calls

Chase Amante

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rewarding & punishing with phone callsYou can use phone calls (yes, phone calls!) to reward women for good behavior – like good vibes and happy dates… but don't call when she's been naughty…

Phone calls are totally old school and no one ever uses them anymore. Right?

Well, the truth is men have always avoided phone calls as much as and wherever possible.

Back when texting wasn't all that popular and no one had messenger apps on his phone, guys still didn't like to make phone calls. They're nerve-wracking, higher pressure, and you can't sit and think about what you want to say -- it's all happening in real time.

Yet men who learned to use them then discovered phone calls were an almost magical way to bolster good connections with girls, repair frayed ones, and get out onto dates women who wouldn't otherwise have come.

And believe it or not, in the age of furious thumbs tapping out multitudinous messages, they still do.

On the forums, guys have repeatedly noted they tried calling girls (despite thinking it was out-of-date) and were amazed how well it went. Young women whom nobody ever calls, ever, get calls from guys and the calls go great and they lead to dates and hookups.

But this article isn't about whether to use phone calls or not use phone calls.

Instead, it's for that elite subset of men among you who already use them.

And the focus here is on how to reward with phone calls... or punish with their lack.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Robert Clayton's picture

Hi Chase,

I recall reading a few years ago and there was a mention of you writing an article/guide to humour. Hector did one not so long ago but there's clearly a distinct difference in your sense of humours.
Reason I ask, is because a lot of your 'scripts', as in the dialogue you use when writing guy / girl scripts always feature these socially savy, smart and funny comments that I sometimes can do, and other times can't do, for no reason what so ever.
a few examples

Her: [laughs] No, I put makeup on them.

You: I'm sure you're very good at it.

Her: Actually I've only been working there a couple of months.

You: Well then I'm sure you're very bad at it.

=====How'd you come up with things like this?
There was another one where you mention a conversation between a guy and girl at a bar, she's drinking some type of fruity cocktail and the guys comment was something like 'That looks like the healthiest way to get drunk.

If this is on the 'to-write' can we get it sped up, or alternatively could you give some tips on how to create a lifestyle, or tips during a lifestyle that will show how to create these ideas e.g what types of media to consume to get them etc

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, you're right, that's been on my topics list a long time. Since 2012 at least it seems (checking the dates on there).

I'll see if I can get that to the front of my queue. Feels like it'd be fun to right now.

Re: your first quote -- that's a standard thing I do when I give a girl a light compliment that is designed to end that line of conversation so we can move on, but she gets hung up on it and starts qualifying herself or getting overly logical. You just say the inverse of whatever you told her: e.g., she tells you something about her eyebrows, and you want to get off that topic so just give her a little throwaway compliment: "Yeah, I really like your eyebrows, they're nice." Then she starts critiquing her eyebrows, talking about how they're too thick or whatever. So you say, "You're right, I hate your eyebrows."

She will laugh, she'll realize she was being a little unsavvy there, getting hung up on that topic, and you've sort of dunked on her, but in a friendly way. It also chills her out about her insecurity because you joke about it in a harmless way after having previously complimentedher on it.

Re: the healthy comment, I have certain stock themes I like to poke fun at. Usually things women really care about superficially but then cheat on without realizing it / hypocritically. e.g., a lot of women claim/think they really care about health. So pointing out something sort of unhealthy they are doing and remarking on it as if it is still kind of healthy, you are teasing them about a thing they probably normally signal themselves doing ("Look at my heart-healthy salad", etc.). Healthy is an easy one because people don't get sensitive about it so long as they're not overweight or otherwise unhealthy.

A more recent one is the whole 'safety' craze sweeping the Western world: "I like that designer mask. Stylish yet safe."

You just have to be mindful to not sound like you're maybe being critical: "Nice, sitting in a big close group, huh? Glad you guys are staying safe." That works well with girls in a good mood who know/sense you don't take the virus too seriously. But if they're not in a great mood and your delivery isn't on-point, it sounds like you're shaming them for not social distancing.

There's a degree of calibration with all this.

I'll see if I can write something more nuanced on it though.


Armond's picture

Hey Chase,

I was thinking about this lately and thought I'd ask your opinion. What does it mean when a girl sort of "mothers" you - not acting "maternal" towards you as such, but more in the context of making a fuss over you and doing stuff for you? Sort of difficult to describe but hopefully you understand what I mean ahaha. A friend suggested that it means she's expressing interest in you, but I personally suspect there may be some other underlying reason. What's your opinion?

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, there are a few different motivations. Mostly it's either a.) she's romantically interested in you or b.) she really, really likes you as a friend and feels like she needs to take care of you because something in you triggered some sort of "he's a lost little puppy who needs nurturing, encouragement, and support" reaction in her.

Either way, mothering is investment the woman is making in you -- which means she values you highly enough to think you warrant her time and attention.

In my experience even if it's friendly, there's often some element of attraction mixed in. Which the girl herself may or may not be aware of.

I'd take it as a sign of possible/probable interest, and look for ways to escalate things with her a bit, then find ways to get her with me one-on-one or on a date. You can even look for ways to turn 'mothering' into one-on-one time ("Hey, do you think you could help me later with this XYZ thing?").


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