Tactics Tuesdays: "She'll Probably Reject Me (So Let's Try)" | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: "She'll Probably Reject Me (So Let's Try)"

Chase Amante

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reject me
An easy way to get your feet moving despite fears of rejection: just tell yourself "She'll likely reject me anyway... so let's go see what happens.

I just talked with one of our senior discussion forum members, who took on the 30 Days Invite a Girl Home Challenge. This is a challenge for advanced guys, where the singular goal is to invite a new girl home each and every day for 30 straight days. She doesn't have to say yes and you don't have to sleep with her, but you do need to invite her home to do it. The goal is to push a guy's comfort zone and open his eyes to what's possible.

In our forum member's case, his first day on the challenge ended up with the girl he invited home saying yes and going home with him. However, he liked this girl a lot, overthought things a bit, and escalated too timidly, despite feeling like the girl was quite into him.

He didn't get the lay (although he did get a nice start to the 30 day challenge!), and the girl left.

He tried to set a date up with her later, and she LJBF'ed him.

His escalation (too unaggressive for her level of horniness) was the immediate cause, he figured... but the root cause was that he liked her too much, which led him to go too slow for this girl's tastes.

Does he just need to convince himself not to like girls too much, he wondered?

That brought to mind a long-time technique I've used to overcome nervous hesitation with women, that might be useful to some guys.

It's this: you simply tell yourself "Well she's probably going to reject me, so let's try anyway and just see what happens."

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

All this time, we have followed the mechanical "ask phone number contact when they're hooked" or "reaching conversation high point", they're laughing, excited and engaged in the conversation, it's flowing easily. And I had been trying to follow this religiously, but usually when I ask, it's when the conversation is high, but not peak, or when it was good and I'm about to leave, I throw up the offer to keep in touch and I usually get a yes.

But It was rarely a SUPER GOOD! Or Emotional Cresting! 

This mechanism works for making new friends or lovers, guys or girls. Come to think of it, it's natural. 

Two new friends hit it up? Let's keep in touch!

Two potential lovers exchanging flirty looks and getting excited? Let's go for some food now or meet again later !

This so called "equation" in "How to get phone numbers, contacts, text guide or whatever" is only defining the natural "what people would do when strangers meet and they hit it up". But I've realized this awhile ago. I thought I fully understood this until...

I personally experienced emotional cresting as a new friend of mine was also emotional cresting.

It was great. When people naturally click and reach a high point, we don't have to ask for their contact, they'll automatically ask for ours! Well for friends... some girls might take the initative if they peak. Anyway, back to the story. It was super good! He came out saying "why didn't we meet a heck lot earlier! We're so alike!" I didn't even have to solidify the connection with anchoring, he did it for me (or maybe he's a GC reader muhahah)

The weird part was I didn't mirror him intentionally. He was relating to what I said and it made me comfortable and I naturally just exposed a little bit more of my passionate topic - momentum in society for Western Hemisphere. And he completely shared the same passion, saying "I would talk to my friends about this but they usually aren't interested".

And that's true. Exactly what I experience. He related to me so well, so I told him more. We dived into LGBT and other things.

But as you can see, these topics are rather polarized and specific into the intellectual area. Philosophy, view of world, how things work... Not necessarily mainstream too. We can get amazing witty conversation or a witch hunt holding pitchforks with our names on it. In this case, we were both hooked into the conversation! It seem endless! It was as if we are long time buddies. I want to be able to reproduce this same "clicking" for more people I meet, not just a rare few who hold the same position as me (it's even rarer in our western society), but people with disparities of interest and walks of life.

I now realize why I rarely experience this. Because my ability to relate to others is limited. Well, not that limited, but I had not personally experience anything like this. Maybe others felt related to but I was just giving lip service as I mirror them (personally not that interested). Those conversations usually still die as there's only so much I can mirror relate to for a topic I don't personally research or spend much time thinking.

So, after knowing what a "conversation high" is like, and a little better idea of how to make others peak interest / hooking, two questions

  1. How can I tailor my relating ability to encompass wide range of people with interest disparities? Sure, I might not feel the same high I felt here, but I want others to feel it, so much that they keep talking more and more and getting excited, and I don't have to say anything about myself (or my personal interests). Essentially is our goal (Law of least effort)
  2. How do I tailor my relating ability when I can't find someone's passion?

Number 2 is a bit weird. There are times I talk with someone and they're just boring as hell. Sure, they have work, they have some social life, but the person has no passion at all (or I can't find it from my questions). And it just goes nowhere because there's nothing that can make them talk non-stop about just like I did with my new friend. The more you ask, the more it feels small talk as they give factual answers. When we dive into why, they don't really know. And searching for all possible things in their life, everything seems mundane and done without much passion...

How would you handle conversations like these? Would you still be able to hook? And eventually get ONS (for girls)

Hope to hear your thoughts... I'm getting closer to something. I know it! And if I am able to figure this out...it should be a breeze to make as many friends I want and also make meeting new girls a lot smoother and easier to hook. I can smell it. The terrain waits for me! Sorry for the long comment, I just can't hold in the joy for this new finding and sharing it with you :)

Best,

Lawliet

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