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Hello everyone! Apologies for the delay since my last article; things have been pretty crazy lately. I have been looking through the forums recently and found my favorite thing in the world: a pattern between your sticking points.
The reason I love these so much is that, when I see a lot of people making the exact same mistake, it gives me hope that one small tweak to your perspective and behavior is all it will take for LOTS of you to stop dropping the ball and start getting laid instead.
Today’s article will focus on something that has been coming up a lot lately. When you guys type the sticking point into the forums, it usually sounds something like this...
“She showed me a lot of sexual interest, so I took her on a great date and then afterwards, she rejected me!”
Or
“She told me she wanted to have sex, so we got a drink at a bar and started making out, but then she refused to come home with me afterward!”
I realized that this is not something that I see talked about, almost ever, and am here today to shine some gloriously seductive light upon why this keeps happening to people. It certainly happened to me a lot back in the day, and so I’ve had to put myself back in somewhat of a “beginner’s mindset” in order to really make sense of what is happening here.
Comments
I love you, but I couldn't quite relate
Yo Drexel,
I love your uber-simplistic approach to game. I really, really do. I had already read that LR of yours (and many others) and it always seems like this:
- You look for girls that are DTF
- You find said girl
- You just go to her and propose you have sex
- You have sex
And I'm sure by this point you are elite in screening girls that are DTF. Since I don't posses this skill yet, I just try to fuck ASAP every girl that I get a date with (day game/social circle/online dating).
My logistics are HELL and I depend on getting them out for coffee or some simple shit like that and escalating from there. I do what I can do disqualify as provider: dates are simple, I talk nonchalantly about sex, ask her about sex and always split the bill (or ask them to pay for mine if it's something like $2) and then escalate at the end of the date in my car.
Thing is, I fail in one of these stages:
1) She rejects my kiss, after hearing me tell a sex story or two and telling her some herself as well, posing as or downright stating that she "never does it on the first date" or the likes
2) I reach the stage where you mentioned: ass grabbing and tit sucking in my car. Then I suggest going to a motel so we can finish the job and they give me all kinds of LMR.
You say here that if we manage to reach stage (2), then we're perceived as lovers. Why the fuck do they reject penetrative sex, then?
Is it something that I fail to address during the date? I'm starting to think that I (or anyone) can't get pass through LMR if the girl wasn't DTF to begin with. I had some girls tell me really juicy stories during the date and refuse to get in the car with me and I had shitty dates with really "meh" sexual connotations that resulted in we fucking in a motel.
As far as I can see, I'm not reeeally putting myself into provider territory. So why they refuse my advances?
Thanks for the
Thanks for the compliment!
There is still a layer you are missing.
She may well NOT "fuck on the first date...."
But you only trigger that train of thought by taking her on the date to begin with.
If you can learn to recognize the signs that a girl wants to fuck you, there is NO REASON to bring her out for coffee, a drink or anything else. Just lead her somewhere you two can be alone, and make it happen.
YOU are the limiting factor here, the barriers aren't real...
signs
Any exact signs you can write out or an article tou xould direct me to?
I can understand signs of interest but not too great at dwtermining the various levels.
And if logistics are horrible?
Gotcha.
But which date strategies can I do to overcome shitty logistics for months to come? What if logistics require you to improvise? Is there any way out?
Also -- and this is the reason that I love your approach so much -- how can you explain dudes that stretch the shit out of their interactions to bed women under the pretense that it gives them better odds of fucking the girl?
While I follow your methods and try to move fast with girls, when I fail, I'm often under the impression that I moved too fast and moving a little bit slower might do me good rather than being glad that I screened her out fast because she wasn't interested in sex.
Or do you think that a girl you tried to move things forward since day 1 but only managed to fuck her on "date" #5 would have very likely fucked you on "date" #1 had you pressed her buttons right?
The Gist Of Things.
I will make this easy for you. Once you get to a point where you naturally give project a strong sexual aura, women will pick up on it. They will not waste their time with triffles like dates and getting to know you. They just want you to screw their brains out. You just have to lead them and be sexual. So its not really screening for girls that are dtf, but just that there are more girls willing to sleep with you at a moments notice. Most girls you meet will be dtf.
I see. Thanks for posting
I see.
Thanks for posting that, I was not able to grasp why girls were refusing my advances even if I managed to get to heavy makeout.
But the thing is, I try to project myself as the man who *is* sexual and wants to fuck her and shit. I'm not near that aura though;
What do you think had the greater impact (20/80 rule) in this regard when looking to project that raw, masculine, sexual aura?
What she sees.
The thing about being sexual and acting like you want to fuck her is that you run the risk of coming on too strong. You run the risk of acting like you "really" want to fuck her and she feels like you are chasing because it feels like you want her more than she wants you. See it?
You are this cool, suave alpha guy who all the women are dying to sleep with, yet you are acting like she is the only girl on earth and you have been sex starved for years. Something is off. This results in her denying you the sex you so eagerly crave.
From what you are saying I think that you verbalize your intent a lot, which you need to avoid if you want to come off natural. You dont have to say it, but she will know it. Use body language, touch her sensually but innocently, act sensual ( lightly lean into her to whisper something in her ear), have a sexy voice, flirt, lead her. These are all things that are somewhere on the site, get them down. Experiment and practice until you make them your own, integrate them into your personality and you will find yourself doing these things without realising it. That is half the equation for projecting that sexual arua I was talking about.
At this point start with indicating your sexual interest subtly and toning it down a bit and you should be fine.
You Don't Know Anything About LTR
This article seems like it was written by someone who like myself has had success in the short term game. Good luck with your transition as I think it will be most difficult and you will surely get bored of being a fuckboy.
This article was never meant to be about LTR…
If and when you come face to face with the reality of how women truly feel and think deep down (and the way they don't), you may realize that "fuckboy" is actually the most privileged (and natural) status you can earn with a woman. The fuckboy also cultivates vastly greater masculine potential (read: conqueror), and THAT in my opinion leads to far greater happiness and fulfillment for a man than settling down, feeling your balls shrivel up year by year as the nag of feminine energy wears you out.
Romance and commitment are male contrivances (for the legit furtherance of society) that only tend to get us men hurt in the long run as so many foolishly try to mold women to conform to a state that is not natural for them (monogamy).
For a while, it may look like you have that great girl right at your side where you want/need in your life, but when your time of weakness comes (and it will), she will despise you. I am not saying women are out to get us intentionally—they are just not capable of altruism—it's in their DNA. Thank society for telling you otherwise. Thank people like Drexel for helping to unveil that lie.
Me? I'm done being a hopeless romantic—holding onto a faulty paradigm is the true source of despair. I am ready to be the wildest fuckboy of every woman's dreams and then go our separate ways, so I can lead the life of freedom and sovereignty I deserve.
-M
Drex this is fucking amazing.
Drex this is fucking amazing. This has been happening to me over and over with girls i meet through day game. When I meet them it's easy to have the vibe become sexual but it doesn't stay sexual, perhaps through my conscious thoughts of trying to move things forward even to proposing a date. I've also noticed whenever i tried instantly to have sex with a girl, ie misinterpret something as them inviting me home or whatever they aren't offended. They cool down or don't even respond. I guess i have to keep the sexual vibe t the start throughout the interaction and not get serious. Thanks for helping me realize this!
On another note what about when you can't bring girls home? I usually have to fuck girls in public any tactics you have to meet girl from day game and head straight to her house? Only worked once for me and she was a virgin, didn't happen tho. :/
To answer your second
To answer your second question, she is either not aroused or you did not demonstrate proper Sexual Framing to remove her ASD. Read some of Alek's articles, he is even better at it than I am. If you absorb everything the two of us say, you will have an excellent handle on how Sexual Framing works.
Thank you Drexel! Confirmation I'm on the right track…
Chase picked a great picture for this article! I have been avoiding dates like the plague for the very reasoning you give, Drexel: at best they communicate boyfriend zone (a hybrid status? fuck that) and at worst, provider hell (which, since I have absolutely no money, is equally easy to avoid). Women are such fascinatingly different creatures than most men realize. Ironically, we tend to think they want romance when they really just want to be fulfilled sexually by a dominant man. Romance, in my opinion, is a male contrivance designed for sexually inadequate men. Unfortunately, even the most dominant of men seem susceptible of caving to feminine energy given the right circumstances—it seems we men are doomed to "fall in love" unless we fight it with our last ounce of sovrietnty.
I really must admit I don't have much in the way of game: all my eggs are in the looks/fundamentals department—and being an enigma (read: man of mystery—a.k.a. man who doesn't know what the fuck he wants/needs from women… other than exploring his own potential for masculine dominance, sexually—a responsibility most men either shirk or take for granted) basket for now—plus the mindset of avoiding boyfriend/provider status (too emotionally fragile and cash-depleted).
Have I just painted myself the ultimate loser—or wacko? Ha—consider my writing that of a semi-aware man in a state of drastically shifting mindsets. Crazy insane or insane crazy?!
The cool thing is I do have girls in their mid-twenties asking me on dates, buying me drinks, and occasionally pulling me into one-night stands, which I find all-in-all pretty cool. I am most scared of falling in love—becoming attached to a woman is the one male frailty I fight like the plague itself, so I avoid repeat sex with the same women beyond three nights.
I am grateful to this site and the articles from people like you, Drexel. It has changed my life, and I want to give back somehow—maybe my inane ramblings contain a kernel or two of wisdom that can help others and gratify your teachings.
Thank you,
-M
clarifying the word "date"
Nice article. I was just wondering when you say "stop displaying Provider cues like dates", do you mean date as taking her to dinner, movie or some other more expensive stuff or do you mean something simple like a cup of coffe or a beer in some quiet bar, where you split the bill ofc :D.
If its the second, how do you invite yourself to her house (i live with my parents so i can only bring girls home weekdays from 8am-4pm) if you met her, only spoke few minutes with her, and for some reason you must see her some other day.
Move out of your parents
Move out of your parents house before you worry about this kind of style, or else orchestrate it to go to her house. As far as "date," the only "date" I do, or have ever done, is to "grab a drink" at a bar down the street from my house, after 9pm. They understand the difference between that and "dinner at 6," unless they're stupid, so it will still keep you on the right track. Cheers
How does it work for us Asian
How does it work for us Asian men? I've been reading conflicting material that says because we're generally viewed as feminine and asexual that our best game is to start out as Providers (mainly because Asians have the highest income).
Hey Drex
So how do I get those fast lays like you mentioned. Ive increased my fundamentals like you say. How do you go about. Is it a special thing you wear that makes you sexual. How do you get those 60 second lays. What type of game do you play. Do you play aloof game, or very funny guy, do you play like a dark role? What do you do?
dope
why was this article not written two weeks ago? anyway I know my mistakes now.
One common cause of lover>provider shift
Hi Drexel,
Great article! I just want to add a situation that occurs frequently and relates to the problem you describe. It is when you meet online or when you communicate by texting etc. When you are good at this game, the woman might often be totally wet for you and wanting to shag you just then and there. However, it is usually impossible. If you cannot meet within several days, that energy dissipates. And there is even more - kind of cognitive dissonance between the sex rush she felt for you and the innocent emotionless talk later. The expiration time is over quickly. If you meet two or three weeks later, it will be only a weird talk over coffee.
Cheers, Tomas
@Asian Guy
Hey Drex, awesome Material man! Chapeau .
@ Asian Guy: you already hav insecurities that you are Asian. women are like hound Dogs, they will smell your insecurity as soon you approach them. Just put in mind that you are a man and it's your right to talk to any woman. So long AS you are confident they dont care about your origins. If you feel like you look feminine change your looks, dress to impress, hit the gym, actually navigate this site you'll get tips about every dating Situation
Greetingz from Germany
lover value
Hi,
I have some dilemmas about lover and provider value. Reading a lot of articles, interacting with a lot of woman a seeing other guys doing the same I noticed something. Girls simple don't want to sleep with me because I'm successful at colege and in science, despite my fundamentals and game. So I guess I'm in provider category. On the other hand some other guys do opposite: They ruined their lifes just to be perceived as lovers and women still don't sleep with them.
Now what should I do to be perceived as lover? I normally don't talk about myself but people know me. I don't want to end my carrier just because of selfish women. When they hear about me they are two scenarios: successful women will treat me as a provider or less, and less successful woman will despite me. I can't break that frame. Will date compression work there?
And why that "lover value guys" still don't get laid? I suppose that their game maybe isn't good? Or can it simple be that girls here are too picky?
1. Solid game / understanding
1. Solid game / understanding of female psychology
2. Disqualify Provider, Qualify Lover
3. Sex
God damn Man...., you made me write this comment
i've been waiting for this article for years man.., i am literally researching on how to
pickup girls starting from: "Tao of bad ass", Style, Mistery, Kazia Nobel, BOBBY RIO, The Gambler(richar la ruiena),The PANDORABOX, El_Topo, SINN, JUSTIN WAYNE... you name it (since you're a master you know it all);
In indian conditions the man gets pussys get it all he wants but the man who don't will never get it.
i'm 28 still virgin ( i don't want to fuck prostitutes; also lots of masterbations were going on by watching porn videos until i was 26) you know the feeling. any way one day i will get what i ask for (in a +ve way) or dreamd of.
Your article is very much enlightining, all the best for your future works. Very Thank you..
Hey I love reading articles
Hey I love reading articles from this site and it has really helped me bring up my confidence in approaching women. I approach women a fair amount of times in a single day but i can never close it with a women mnd me I am 15 so these techniques maybe to advance for my age or women at my age don't understand what I'm dong but anyways what I'm trying to ask is can these techniques work for teens or is there a different way I should be approaching girls this age?
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