Using Intrigue to Get Girls Chasing You

using intrigue with women One big mistake I see a lot of men make when meeting new women is forgetting to allow for some mystery… a little intrigue. And a little bit goes a long way – it fascinates women, gets them thinking about you when you’re not there, gets them frustrated – in a good way! – trying to figure you out.

Chase Amante

Author

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

Comments

so earlier i saw it said that

Posted by pg (not verified) on Monday, 5 September 2011

so earlier i saw it said that you should press harder if a woman is being vague (like "are you just embarassed"). What if she does the same thing to you? or what if you press on a topic too personal that you had no idea about? like "i dont like talking about my dad", would you be like "that's fine, at least youre out of the house now" or "ah i see, yeah, sometimes scars stay but they heal. you still have positives ahead of you, like [reference/joke some topic talked about previously]" "yeah" "so what about [blah]"

actually, maybe that is the way to safeguard responses like that, starting off with positive, future things.

do women and men respond to this kind of intrigue differently? cause i feel like id be annoyed at dodgy answers repeatedly.

Re: Being Dodgy

Posted by Chase Amante on Sunday, 11 September 2011

Hey again, PG-

Well, you certainly don't want to be dodgy! Mysterious is more about offering a little, but suggesting more. Like so:

Her: If you don't work, how do you afford to live and travel?

You: Well, I still have some passive income streams that let me get by. Investments, projects, things like that.

You provide information, but don't go into great detail. Enough so that it sounds and feels like an answer, without spilling all your beans.

If a girl presses you, you have the right to get annoyed. When people press me on things I don't particularly care to go into (e.g., things that won't be productive for moving the interaction forward), I shrug, look off to the side into the distance, and get aloof. That's how you communicate to them that they're in the wrong.

But yeah, generally, don't be dodgy; be intriguing. You should make her want to know more, rather than annoyed at the lack of an answer. Give her some, just not all.

Chase

intrigue

Posted by Taz (not verified) on Wednesday, 21 September 2011

how long do you keep the intrigue?

Girls are normally intrigued but I tend to spell too much by the time we get intimate.
Its cool but i'd always feel that I lost my power...which I probably did.
though normally the relationship isn't affected.I'd always be feeling a lack.
Is it me or did I lose some power?
it just don't feel fulfilling once you start feeling they know all your (details)

Am in a relationship right now where its been 10 days and I feel I made three mistakes:
1- too many details about me
2- too much contact/hang out
3- apparently too much complementing

How can the above be put back on track? ^_^

Thank you Chase,

Re: How long to keep intrigue going?

Posted by Chase Amante on Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Hey Taz,

Well, the thing about intrigue is, the moment it's gone, you lose power forever, yeah.

A lot of intrigue over the long term really has to deal with how you structure your life. Like, part of the reason why I eventually decided that travel was essential for me over the long term was that I didn't think there was a way to maintain intrigue in long term relationships without being an international man of mystery.

You can run relationships without intrigue -- and many, many people do -- but they do discernibly lack something, and whenever I meet women in long term relationships who are dating men they've long since discontinued being intrigued by, there's a very palpable desire that I can feel coming from them when I meet them and begin to wrap them up in the intrigue that I've constructed around myself.

I think the best way around this if you have a relatively ordinary life is to still make sure she finds out little hidden things about you every now and then, and that she discovers sides to you she didn't know existed. It's especially important to be the strong, silent type over the long-term, so that she's gradually finding things out but only by doing the work herself.

The guys who just divulge everything up front eliminate intrigue fast, and with it a lot of the mystery and excitement of their relationships.

Chase

Next thing to say.

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thursday, 8 December 2011

Hey Chase, what if a girl asks this: "Where are you from?"
Me: "Does it matter, lets just enjoy the time right now, together."
Her: "Are you ashamed of where you are from?"
What do you recommend to say after she asks me that?

I'm not Chase, but I think I

Posted by R! (not verified) on Friday, 13 January 2012

I'm not Chase, but I think I can help.

Most likely your body language and tone were telling her something different. Remember that you always have to have a sexy, confident look about you as you say this.

Looking at her out of the corner of your eyes and a little smile before saying, "Does it matter, lets just enjoy the time right now, together," said in a flirtatious voice, makes all the difference.

If it isn't your body language/tone, a proper response would be,
"-chuckle- (Non-answer). Are you?(deflection)"

You could be witty and funny,

Posted by Rufus (not verified) on Friday, 13 January 2012

You could be witty and funny, say something like.

"well.. maybe I'm not sure if you'd visit my family, get in their good graces and be treated to some embarrassing childhood photos."

Funny, and turns the table on her making it seem like she's the one who has enough interest in you to do such a thing.

Next thing to say

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tuesday, 17 July 2012

You coulded have thrown the ball back to her court yard...
Her: where you from?
You: does it matter? Tell me something i dont know... Where you from?
And ask her that last question with a big smile like you already know what shes going to say. " remember, sexy smiles dont show teeths" :)

You could go philosophical.

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wednesday, 14 June 2017

You could go philosophical.
Her: "Are you ashamed of where you're from?"
You, genuinely curious as if analyzing what her question might say about her: "Why would anyone be ashamed of where they're from?"

contradicts!

Posted by Ila (not verified) on Sunday, 15 April 2012

Hello Chase, ive been following you for some while now and ive noticed something about intrigue. what if you say something that contradicts yourself?, like

Girl: you have sex with many girls? (but she knows! by how the confidence and tonality)

guy: Nope

tell me about yourself

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on Monday, 4 August 2014

So how would you intriguingly answer the question "So tell me about yourself?"

She knows I'm being mysterious

Posted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Hi Chase or anybody that could help, I hope you see this in time.
I've been doing what you said, just giving a little info about me, not spilling the beans; directing the conversation towards her. But she is experienced and has called me out saying my answers are vague, she thinks I'm trying to be mysterious and that I'm playing little games. She says I need to be more open with her and she hasnt felt a connection with me. I am split, should I keep the intrigue and stay mysterious? Or just open up with her. I feel like she'd get annoyed if I stayed mysterious and she would go into auto-rejection. By the way she has me in the potential bf category.