Socializing | Page 27 | Girls Chase

Socializing

Meeting, getting to know, and generally hobnobbing with the people you meet throughout a lifetime of travels and adventures.

How to Answer “What Do You Do?”, No Matter What You Do

Peter Fontes's picture

what do you do‘What do you do?’

Think about how many times you’ve been asked this question in one form or another...

It’s a whole lot, isn’t it?

Behind being asked your name, this is probably the most common question you hear.

Despite its frequency though, a great many people still don’t deal with this question well.

In fact, I commonly see people stumble and answer awkwardly or give such a rote/boring answer that it gives the other conversation participant nothing to move forward with.

... though, how you address this one little question can have large implications for the way people perceive you, positively or negatively, particularly in the early stages of an interaction.

What we’ll discuss here today is how to use ‘What do you do?’ to your advantage, so that you can leverage your answer to this question as a positive source of interest, intrigue, and conversation... in any interaction.

How to Use a Wingwoman to Pick Up Truckloads of Girls

Colt Williams's picture

We’ve all heard of going out with a wingman. That one friend (or two) whom you can always rely on to have your back and give you that extra bit of courage to brave day game or the bars and clubs.

Your wingman evens the playing field and can help you bring home a pair of cute girls. But… not always. In fact, if we want to consider what actually happens, most wingmen won’t even help you some of the time. In most situations you’re much better off going out alone and finding both self-reliance and success that’s suited to you.

However, what’s not talked about enough is supercharging your success… with a wingwoman. This can be a fun and effective way to boost your results with women, and have a great time in the process.

wingwoman

Today we’re going to talk about the wingwoman method: why it works, whom to choose, and how to go about it for the best results.

Social Value and Value Imbalances

Chase Amante's picture

social valueValue's a frequent subject of the articles on this site - we talk about ways to increase your passive value and value and attraction a great deal, while reducing "active value" (trying to talk up your value - if you have to say it, it isn't true), and we also talk about screening women carefully to avoid bringing someone into your life who's going to be a value drain.

Your value to other people - social value - is highly subjective by person, but it's something very worth being attuned to. Value assessments are a crucial part to our daily lives - every person you meet, greet, or so much as lay eyes on you do a quick value assessment of, and likewise everyone who speaks with, interacts with, or gazes upon you, for even the briefest of instants, does a quick value check on you as well.

When we interact with someone else is where these assessments really come into play, and where value imbalances raise their ugly heads - and make things really interesting, from a "what do you want from me, and what do I want from you" point of view.

The 3 Different Kinds of Leaders

Colt Williams's picture

A few weeks ago an anonymous GC reader made a very simple request:

Can you write an article on leadership?

Yes, certainly; I’m very happy to oblige. Leadership is a quality coveted by men the world over. It’s not only the ability to lead individual men and women, but the ability to compel larger groups to work harder and achieve more than they ever would on their own.

how to be a leader

Similar to improving your skill with women, there is a common misconception about leadership that it’s just something people are born with and can never be learned. But today I’m going to break down leadership, and show that it can be learned by anyone... anyone willing to put in the time and effort to learn it, of course.

How to Lift Someone's Spirits

Peter Fontes's picture

lift spiritsIf you're a naturally empathetic person, you probably find yourself in-tune with the emotions of others. Perhaps more often than you'd like.

Even if you aren't, you'll have found yourself in a situation where you would have liked to improve somebody's mood, but may not have known how to.

A reader, Knight, commented in the article on emotional contagion about how a long-time mentor/motivator had seemed down on a recent occasion:

A great female friend of mine who is usually a great motivator for me was down today - something I haven't seen since we were in year 9 - and it really threw me off.

He wanted to know how he could shift her emotions:

I still felt the need to try and cheer her up somewhat... could you perhaps show us all how to shift emotions?I do my best to stay away from downers these days but I realise that some important people in my life are going to feel a bit down some times. It would be great to get them up on par with our happiness again!

This is a common sentiment when met with the advice that you should associate less with people who are negative or who suck energy from you, a la the psychic vampire; that you have important people in your life that you want to be there for.

Disagreeing with Women, Made Fun and Effective

Chase Amante's picture

In "Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink", a reader notes:

Anyways, I've been having problems with something that should be fairly simple for most people, but I fear that it is far more nuanced than it seems: disagreeing with woman. I remember reading an article about addressing women objections, other one about not saying "no", but I can't seem to find one on "How to disagree with women" or "How to show disapproval".

My point is that, as time goes by and your confidence goes up and you become more comfortable leading women, what happens a fair number of times is that she'll do or say something you do not like. And while a "nice guy" would just suppress that thing in his mind and get over it, I do not. But I must be doing something very wrong, because I'm under the impression that every time that I do this, me and the girl end up arguing, or feeling that our connection is somehow weaker, etc.

So, I ask you, is there a "right" way to say/show you *don't* agree with an attitude she had (or any other thing that comes to mind)?

disagree with a woman

The way you'd hear it from most men, disagreeing with women cannot or should not be done, at least not in a way that's anything remotely close to effective at getting your point across or changing her mind.

You've pretty much got to just bite your tongue and let it slide... unless you really want to get your hindquarters handed to you in tatters.

While I used to subscribe to the old advice of "stay unreactive" - basically, sit there like a lump of coal and do nothing and say nothing, no matter how crazed, incorrect, or offensive she becomes - I'm only a (pseudo-)fan of that these days in certain situations.

These days, I'm a big believer in dealing with disagreeable statements swiftly, the moment they come up. How you disagree with women depends on the situation, though - sometimes it's going to entail direct confrontation, but many times you'll take a far subtler approach.

Either way, if being completely unreactive is out, you're going to need another set of tools to deal with disagreements.

And I've got just the tools you need.

Sex with Friends: 3 Kinds of Girl You'll Get

Peter Fontes's picture

sex with friendsSex with friends.

It's something that we've all thought about and that can be relatively easy if one manages it correctly.

It does come with it's own little challenges though.

Today I'm going to introduce you to three (3) of the main flavours of girl you'll run into when you're hooking up with friends, and give you some insights into how to spot them and how to deal with them post hook-up, or beforehand if you are thinking about a hook-up.

It's important to view the demarcations between the archetypes as blurred lines rather than concrete ones. Girls aren't static in terms of their archetype and they can move from one to the other depending on circumstance.

Protecting Yourself from Psychic Vampires (and Not Turning, Either)

Chase Amante's picture

psychic vampireIn yesterday's article on emotional contagion - Part I of this 2-parter on emotional transference - we discussed how the process of transferring emotions from person to person works. Namely, there are two steps:

  1. Empower the other person around you first, then

  2. Emote to the other person who, now empowered, will mirror you

Today's article is about the dark side of emotional contagion - something commonly called "psychic vampirism." That is, it's how some people have learned to use emotional contagion in reverse - rather than transfer energizing emotion to others, building them up and making them feel great, a psychic vampire has learned to use emotional transference to drain emotions the other way - feeding off the emotions of those he comes into contact with, making himself feel better at the expense of his conversation partner's emotional well-being.

Like the vampires of legend, a psychic vampire can "turn" you, too - with enough of your energy drained, you can become an energy drainer yourself, feeding off the positive emotions of others to sustain yourself.

But, just like emotional contagion, this is not some paranormal phenomenon - rather, it's simply down to empowering and emoting, seeing and mirroring.

How Seducers Use Emotional Contagion to Attract

Chase Amante's picture

emotional contagionA potent but under-discussed phenomenon in the fields of socializing and seduction is that of emotional contagion, the tendency for emotions between two or more people to converge.

Emotional contagion is the foundation of frame control, and is of vital importance too in creating sexual tension and social pressure, in remaining in command of yourself and others in high pressure situations, and in effectively leading women (and men, too).

You might say it's a case of "the person with the most solid and catchable emotions wins."

Todays article is the first of a two-part series on emotional transference, with two articles focused on:

  1. How to transfer your emotions to others, and

  2. How to protect yourself from others' negative emotional transfers

Done right, emotional transfer is an outstanding tool for creating the emotions in women that you want them to feel, and improving their experience, your experience, and the outcome of your interactions.

And while "emotional contagion" and "emotional transference" might sound at first like New Age-y touchy-feely mumbo jumbo, it is in fact hard science, and it all has to do with the fascinating little cells in your brain called "mirror neurons."

Granting Social Status; and, Not Getting Thrown Under the Bus

Chase Amante's picture

women statusI recently completed an almost 2-hour interview with Glenn Pierce (formerly just Glenn P), a really sharp and talented guy who taught me a thing or two when I wanted to kick my daytime approaching up a notch back in early '07, for his upcoming interview series. While doing the interview - much of it something of a "how you got your start" type piece - we each shared stories of girls early on in our lives (both in junior high) who liked us, who were otherwise really cool girls, yet who, when we approached in awkward / socially unsavvy ways, threw us each under the bus socially, even as they still liked us.

When it happened to me, I immediately understood why it happened - why a girl who still liked me (she continued to flirt with me and give me hints and invitations for years after) - and same deal for Glenn... his girl still liked him (a friend of hers even told him so) - yet these girls so coolly and seemingly ruthlessly tossed us to the wolves, status-wise.

I think this is a thing a lot of guys don't get. Why would a girl do this? A girl who likes you - maybe she even likes you more than anybody else around her - yet she casts you aside.

Maybe you want to judge her. Maybe you want to say that clearly she's a petty person; she's weak; she cares too much what others think and not enough about what she wants.

Maybe you want to say that if she's not willing to take a risk to be with you, then who needs her?

Except this isn't the right approach. If you want success with women, you must have a mind for status - and you must have a mind for protecting and even enhancing the status of the women around you.