Socializing | Girls Chase

Socializing

Meeting, getting to know, and generally hobnobbing with the people you meet throughout a lifetime of travels and adventures.

How Much Should You Care About the Opinions of Others

care about the opinions of others
How much should you care what others think? Everyone cares at least a little. The key is that the reactions of others can tell you what to modify in yourself.

I’ve always seen the opinions of others as a paradox.

We’ve all heard people say they don’t care what anyone thinks of them.

Well, that’s sort of impossible. If you didn’t care what people thought of you, you would never take time to cater your reputation or really even talk to people in general, since their opinion of you is a non-issue.

Obviously the spirit of this mantra of “no fucks given” is meant to combat the neuroticism that leads to the criticism or hate of others keeping you from pursuing what you want to pursue, but there is something to be said about learning from criticism.

Criticism, and even hate, can highlight possible areas of improvement, especially in regards to how you communicate your thoughts and ideas, either verbally or non-verbally.

In other words, if someone dislikes what you say or do, many times it’s how you come off doing it, not necessarily what you actually did.

And if we completely ignore the criticisms of others, we are missing out on possible improvements, no?

For instance, the advice of a mentor or teacher is criticism, but it comes from a place of compassion. He wants you to see how he sees your flaws, because he wants you to fix them, since it’s your desire to become better.

Calibration Series Pt. 2: Calibrating to Social Context

social context
You must calibrate your approaches and interactions to the social context you find yourself in. What’s that include? Exposure, vibe, and appropriateness.

Welcome back to this series on calibration, guys. Last time, we discussed what is, in my opinion, the most important aspect of calibration: calibrating to her level of interest and her overall response to your moves.

This time around, we will discuss another key aspect of calibration. Again, if you manage to understand the concepts and the theories, as well as the techniques covered in my last post, you will do well. I swear. If you also manage to master the ideas of this post, you are already a pretty good seducer, for sure.

But like I mentioned in my previous post, there is no way one can become good at calibration without field experience. By this I mean failing and succeeding. Both give valuable lessons. Do not be afraid to mess up. Instead, jump into it, take a risk. If she doesn’t like it and she loses attraction? Well, as long as you did not cross the line into “overly offensive,” then no big deal, move on, learn from your mistake. And the next time you meet a girl in a similar context, you will be more calibrated.

These posts will serve as guidance to shorten the learning process. It will help you get better at calibration by helping you learn faster from your field experience. These posts will give you an overall idea so that you are not left in the dark, but keep in mind that you can only truly understand the points I am about to cover after having experienced them in real life.

Additionally, when it comes to calibration, there are unlimited nuances (so many that it is literally impossible to cover them all in posts). I can only give you the big picture, as an understanding of the small details are best acquired through in-field training. For example, every girl and every context differs. So many factors play in that dictate the outcome of an interaction:

  • Her personality
  • Her mood
  • The context
  • Your mood

And each of these have almost infinite variations.

However, with experience, you can create a model that has a high success rate.

For real, I have never seen a guy with a 100% success rate, but I know that an average of 1/5 from a club is doable. And let’s be frank, isn’t that more than good enough? It surely is for me.

The Man Who Refused to Learn to Talk to Women

don't learn game
A story about a guy who never bothers to develop his social skill set. How does life unfold for a man who chooses not to learn to socialize and date?

Lucien was always a bit of an outsider. Though he wasn’t one of the nerds in school. Sometimes he joined in on making fun of them, just to prove the point. Mostly he just ignored those kids though. He had his own loose group of friends he rolled with: Elliot among them.

After high school, they mostly went separate ways. One friend went to a community college, and another went to work in his father’s construction business. Elliot and Lucien both went to a state university.

The two friends had heard stories about how easy the women were at Trent State. They anticipated a bountiful stream of willing coeds in school. Their long years of high school dry spells – they thought – were done.

They arrived on campus and looked around. Hot young girls in tight pants and mini skirts everywhere. The girls sat on park benches. Walked down campus sidewalks. Laughed with friends and hung out alone. “Geez,” said Elliot. “This place is a gold mine!” He looked at Lucien. “Come on, we’ve got to talk to these girls!”

Lucien went with Elliot, and Elliot chatted up a pair of girls seated on the grass. The girls seemed to like Elliot – they laughed at his jokes and brushed at their hair. But Lucien didn’t know what to do. Elliot seemed like he suddenly knew all the right things to say; Lucien just felt adrift.

Elliot tried to include Lucien – “This is my best friend Lucien. He’s one of the most awesome people I know” – but all Lucien could do was spit out a few boring lines of conversation and both girls would return their focus to Elliot again. Eventually Lucien gave up his attempts to talk. He watched Elliot for a while, but began to envy him. So he stopped watching, tuned out Elliot and the girls, and stared off into the campus.

The Myth of Bros Before Hoes

bros before hoes
If some guy tells you “bros before hoes”, you should probably put your guard up. It isn’t always a conscious thing when men violate this rule, though.

Whenever I hear a guy say “bros before hoes,” my first thought is “Sure, unless there’s a really hot ho in the room.”

As with most morality, you can rest assured that if someone is espousing it or is enforcing it on others, it is in the service of self-interest. This doesn’t necessarily negate the positive outcome of enforcing the specific ethic, but one should be skeptical of anyone virtue signaling, because despite the possible positive outcomes of the ethic, you might still become a casualty when the espouser doesn’t follow it.

This is the nature of trust, is it not? You expect one to act a certain way, especially since they’ve professed to be a keeper of such virtue, because you will bring them into situations where, if they don’t follow it, they could hurt you.

Unfortunately, almost without exception, every person who earnestly supports an ethic will at some point contradict it.

Thus it is highly advised that you be careful who you give the chance to put one over on you.

Now, I’m not saying that nobody is your friend or that any guy would cross you if it lands him a hot girl; but I am saying that, most of the time, he will, excluding the following conditions.

  1. His chances with the girl are low, even if he does cross you

  2. You provide A LOT for him

In other words, he might be able to tool you or be rude to you for a girl, but he probably won’t if his odds with the gal are low, or if you provide for him, socially or monetarily. That girl’s pussy might feel good, but is it worth losing a connection? This is how sociopaths think twenty-four hours a day.

This may seem like a cynical view, but my experience says otherwise. You can see the dark truths of the world and still be optimistic. You can love life but not walk down Southside Chicago at 2am. It’s unnecessary.

Same with thinking that guys are going to value your friendship over the prospect of pussy. It’s unnecessary and ignores the primal truth of the world – we’re in this for the pussy (and the gals are in it for the cock).

This should be your first assumption with most of your friends, if not all of them.

Don't Compete with Guys on What They're Good At (Instead, Beat Them on What They're Not)

beat them at what they're good at
When you’re head-to-head against another guy over a girl, the last thing you want to do is try to best him at what he’s good at. Beat him on your terms, instead.

Commenting under my article “If a Girl Has Sex with You Fast, is She a Slut?”, Mike asked:

Hey chase, please I have a question to ask. I want to know how to compete with guys more handsome than me. Thanks.

It’s a good question. It echoes similar questions I’ve answered in articles and in the comments before, such as:

I don’t want to spoil the whole article, but the way you win, of course, is by not trying to beat that guy at what he’s good at.

Instead, what you must do to win is change the rules of engagement.

With the right tweaks, you can put a guy on the defensive and emerge victorious for the girl, despite almost any number of on-paper advantages he might seem to have over you.

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 4: The Brolosopher

brolosopher
The brolosopher: smart guy, easygoing diction and delivery. Sharp, savvy, but cool and social. If you want to use that big brain well, it’s time for some brolosophy.

A few years back, I was in a car with my friend. One moment, I was talking about something really deep and profound. I don’t remember what it was, but I do know that the next moment, I made some crass comment about women in some really uneducated language.

My friend, who was driving, laughed hysterically. The juxtaposition of my two stories was pretty strange.

Turning to me, he said in a loving voice, “Hector, you’re the dumbest smart person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

I didn’t know it at the time, but there was something in what he said. It was the secret to being smart but also socially dominant, physically dominant, and relatable.

And that’s the crux of what this series is about. If you haven’t already, you can (and should) read the previous articles here:

If you don’t want to go full dumbass with women and socializing (which might hurt boyfriend potential), here’s how you hybridize intelligence and base behavior.

It’s my favorite personality that this entity called Hector sometimes adopts.

Why Don't Girls Want Intelligent Guys? Part 3: Dumb Down & Get Laid

be dumb and get laid
You know dumb guys get laid. Now it’s time to dumb down yourself – and reap the rewards. Cut the snobbishness out, and get the girl.

For those triggered by the title, go back and read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series carefully. In excruciating detail, I have explained what I mean by “dumb” and why being so works well with women.

Now that the theoretical groundwork has been laid out for any nerds looking to disagree with my points, we can move forward plainly.

I will no longer justify being dumb, but only prescribe and explain why certain behaviors work with women.

My advice mostly revolves around cutting certain behaviors as a method to turn attention away from your intelligence and more toward your sexual value – your physical and social dominance.

Let’s get to it.

Drinking and Meeting Girls, Part 2: Why and How to Drink

how to drink
You don’t want to get too crazy with alcohol when your goal is “girls.” But you can definitely drink a bit. How much? It depends...

Welcome back! Last week, I discussed the implications of drinking alcohol in regards to practicing seduction. The post may have expressed a rather negative and pessimistic view, but again, as mentioned in last post (to be emphasized here), having a few drinks is not harmful. You don’t need to go full-blown sober in order to practice your seduction skills or perform smoothly.

The point is to not drink too much (duh).

In this post, I will point out some benefits of drinking. Additionally, I will present some opinions on how your selection of drink affects the perception women may have of you. I’ll also give you a bunch of simple but cool tips that can really impact the way you will experience the nightlife (for the better).

Let’s get right into it.

Before I get to the pointers, I will briefly mention the obvious: alcohol can relieve anxiety – particularly approach anxiety – and make a person more comfortable in social situations. However, I believe it is a crutch. Do you really want to become dependent on booze in order to score hot ladies? Additionally, if you practice “non-drunk,” your skills will improve more quickly.

Some of you may think that on bad nights (nights where you feel anxious), it may be worth having a few drinks in order to get the ball rolling. Usually that is a bad idea, as booze can reinforce your current mood, whatever it may be (and have the opposite of the desired effect). That said, we all react differently to alcohol.

If you do struggle with anxiety, there are healthier alternatives (with better effects):

  • Teas with high levels of L-theanine (Japanese Gyokuro, and Oolongs)
  • Catuaba
  • Red (Panax) Ginseng
  • Rhodiola Rosea (rose root)
  • Cacao (yes, buy some organic cacao nibs! Not the powdered crap!)

However, note that using any of these is still a crutch, as you are still depending on “substances” to get you going. However, they may come in useful when you have bad nights. That is when I take some catuaba and ginseng. And tea is something I always drink!

Drinking and Meeting Girls, Part 1: Drawbacks to Being Drunk

drinking and meeting girls
If you do nightlife, you probably like to drink. But getting drunk isn’t always a good way to meet girls – in fact, it’s usually counterproductive.

If you go to parties, bars, or clubs, you will often be faced with the question: to drink or not to drink?

More specifically, in our community, the question is asked to determine how drinking affects seduction? Drinking is a critical and central part of modern pairing rituals that we find in the nightlife, and is therefore a question that has to be covered and answered. So I decided to give my thoughts in this 2-part post.

In part 1 (this article), I’ll cover the negative effects drinking may have on your dating life. Part 2 (next week) will cover the benefits. This should provide a balanced and nuanced discussion on the matter.

And don’t worry, I’m not going to preach on the moral implications of drinking, such as its health concerns, the dangers of drinking and driving, etc. This post will focus only on one thing – is alcohol good for meeting women?

Using Social Proof to Get Laid: A Report (with Demonstrations)

how to use social proof to get laid
Alek demonstrates how to build and use social proof to pick up a girl in a nightclub. See loads of social proof building examples and demonstrations on the way to the pickup.

Hey, guys. I’m finishing this year off with a report that will cover an event that took place last weekend. The idea here is to give you a story that will be entertaining, present some techniques, and give you an example of how they are used in real life.

Here at Girls Chase, we cover a lot of techniques, new ideas, new tricks, and solutions to issues you face in your dating life. However, in some cases, reports can be useful in order to demonstrate:

  • The context in which the techniques are used

  • How many techniques are used over the course of a night, and how they contribute

  • Which techniques fit different situations (how to analyze the situation and decide which techniques to use)

  • Which techniques work well with others

  • How it all comes together in a seduction

This can be a great addition to the actual posts covering the original concepts shared on this website. It helps put things into perspective.

For this occasion, I will be using the following techniques and strategies:

These will be the main concepts applied in this report. Things like opening, escalation, and other basics will of course be applied, too.

I know many of you are fans of my sex talk and were hoping for me to give you one of those reports. I will try to make more of those. The reason I chose this subject is because serious verbal seduction requires you to be able to talk without too much interruption. Where I live, the smoking areas tend to allow for that. Unfortunately, during the winter, it is too cold to do this outside, which means I have to stick to indoor club game, which makes sex talk difficult. I also think variation in the content of my reports is a good thing. Previously, we covered sexual tension; before that, we covered a typical verbal seduction night, and so on. Today we will focus on “social game,” although I will use some sexual gambits!

On the night in question, I was wearing black Chelsea boots (must have), a black sweater, a long necklace, a red bomber jacket with some cool “Chinese dragon” prints, and tight black jeans. With my long hair, I looked like a 70s rockstar.

A bit of background on the night: I was in this venue till 2am, and I left as a result of some drama with one of my girls. I had to let her go, which kinda sucked. In other words, my mood was not great. However, when shit like this happens, the best call is to venue change (go somewhere else). This report takes place in the new venue.