Socializing | Page 2 | Girls Chase

Socializing

Meeting, getting to know, and generally hobnobbing with the people you meet throughout a lifetime of travels and adventures.

Tactics Tuesdays: Group Invite Dates

group invite dates
Girl won't come out, or isn't sure about you… or you're too busy to meet her 1-on-1? Extend a group invite date to her, and get her doing something social with you.

My normal advice with you for dates is 'get her out alone with you'.

Don't make dates less intimate. Don't do party dates. Don't do things where there are other people around to distract.

In the typical scenario, where you have a girl who's already game to come out with you 1-on-1, this is the best advice for you. There's no need to overcomplicate things for yourself or introduce chaos by involving additional people. Make the date about you and her, and get everything else out of the way.

However... there are a few scenarios in which 'get her out 1-on-1' isn't practical or viable. And sometimes it just makes more sense to do something in a group.

For such cases, it can actually make sense to skip the 1-on-1, and invite a girl to a group event.

Because just like 1-on-1 dates, group invite dates have their upsides, too.

Tactics Tuesdays: Zero Small Talk Flirtation

zero small talk
Don’t get stuck in boring go-nowhere conversations with girls. Ditch the small talk, and flirt with ‘small talk zero’ instead.

This is for any guy who runs into this issue:

You're in a situation, start to talk to a girl, make small talk about the setting/situation, then get trapped in a platonic conversation where you talk about boring situational things that neither you nor the girl care about. She loses interest and slips away.

If this happens to you, there's an easy tactic you can use, and that is to go 'small talk zero'. Instead of make small talk, your entire early conversation consists of flirtatious banter.

Sometimes you can make small talk work perfectly fine, especially if you are confident in how you do it and don't spend too long on it. However, if you're nervous, or don't feel in control of the situation, it's easy to fall into a small talk loop, where small talk leads to more small talk, which leads to boredom, and women leaving.

Since we don't want attractive women leaving, instead of getting trapped in an endless small talk loop, we can use 'zero small talk' flirtation instead.

Meeting Women as a Younger Guy out of College

meeting women
Some guys in their early 20s who are out of college find it harder to meet girls, so they hit a sexual limbo and get frustrated. But fear not, you have many options!

I’m often asked by some of the younger folks who’ve met me and who have coached with me – how do you meet women when you are a younger guy after college?

It’s a great question that’s especially relevant if you’re in the lower 20s age range. This is an odd time for many men as it’s right after the conclusion of college and right at the start of independent adulthood.

Unlike women, whose sex appeal and sexual market value peak at around age 21-23 (then decline steadily afterward), mens’ options with women tend to increase with age and skill. And since women tend to look to date men who are older than them , more successful, and more sexually capable, this leaves some less-experienced men at this age feeling lost when it comes to having options.

Some guys may think they’re out of options after they’ve left college and that social scene. They even lament not being cool enough then or not being able to learn how to be cool later.

These are all incorrect ways of thinking. It’s never too early nor too late to learn game, and there’s no right age to game, date, and have sex with attractive women.

The truth is that the guys who start young and get good can stay good, grow more, and get even better as they get older. And guys who think they missed their opportunity to learn game and have success with women for the remainder of their lives – well, they just have it wrong, and their mentality is the only thing standing in their way.

Inclusiveness vs. Exclusiveness

inclusiveness vs. exclusiveness
To succeed socially, you must make people feel included. But there's a catch: people most want to be included by those they see as EXCLUSIVE.

One of the best feelings in the world is to feel like you are included in an exclusive group.

Humans by nature want to join groups. More specifically, they want to join valuable groups, that they benefit by being members of. One of the primary ways humans determine the value of a group is by how exclusive it is.

Just think of that old Groucho Marx quote:

"I refuse to join any club that would have me."

It's funny, because the humor is self-deprecating ("any club that finds me acceptable as a member can't be a club worth joining"). But it also highlights a subtle truth: the value of the club hinges on how exclusive it is.

Nobody feels good about his inclusion in a broadly inclusive group. People want to be included into exclusive things.

This simple truth has a great deal of weight for your social and romantic interactions, too... because excellence with other people often comes down to how included you make them feel, in your own personal exclusive club.

8 Tips for Building Rapport with Anyone

building rapport
If you want something from someone, whether it’s a raise or to let you play with their boobs, a good way to get it is through building rapport. Here’s how.

Want to get laid? Land a raise at work? Sell your car? For so many things in life, learning how to build rapport like a boss is one of the most useful skills you can develop.

In a way, that’s all “game” is – building up rapport to the point where women want you inside them, men want to be your best friend, and bosses want to give you more responsibility (and money).

There’s also something to be said about the power of “breaking rapport.” But that’s a topic for another article (like this one).

Most pickup advice is based on state-pumping flash game, which is meant to arouse sexual feelings and get a girl in bed quickly. The downside – this style tends to leave women with buyer’s remorse. After sex, they’ll feel a bit cheap and may not become a repeat customer. They’ll feel like you aroused them, but they don’t really “know” you – nor will you know them.

If you become an expert at building rapport, she’ll be more invested and addicted to your personality rather than just your sexual talents.

How to Get Dates with Girls from Groups and Events

get dates from groups and events
How do you meet a girl and get a date from a group or event... without standing around not knowing whom to talk to or what to do?

While I will always recommend you put cold approach (walking up to girls you don't know) first, you can excellently supplement the women you meet this way with girls you meet via groups and events.

If you are active enough socially, it can even be possible to make groups and events your primary channel to meet new women.

There are several benefits to getting your dates via events and group activities. The biggest is that women you meet this way are both more open to socializing, and less guarded. This typically means:

The interactions are also slower paced and less pressured, which means they aren't as 'do or die' as higher pressure street, bar, grocery, etc. approaches (or even class, office, or library approaches).

You have more time to make things happen in group and event situations; you don't need to move quite as fast, and the escalation windows don't close so quick. Attraction sticks around longer before expiring, too.

Below, we'll cover some tips and tactics to make getting dates from groups and events a breeze, and have a lot more fun at these places, too.

How to Get Laid at Parties – The Complete Guide (Video)

Getting laid at parties. This is my speciallttyyyy.

It’s fun and wild and is (usually) a great time filled with laughs, and love, and loads of orgasms.

You can’t get laid at a party, however, if you don’t even GO to the party first.

How do you get to the party?

I’ll tell you.

How do you handle yourself once at the party?

I’ll tell you (and the secret is social status).

And what about sealing the deal and actually getting laid once you’ve done everything you needed to do?

I’ll tell you.

Watch the video and enjoy!

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Force Frame Someone

force frame
You use force frames to make women (or other people) see things the way you see things. Each force frame consists of two parts: the pitch and the ditch.

Frame control is a crucial aspect of achieving your ends with other people.

He who controls the frame, controls how those within that frame perceive events.

Civilizations strive endlessly to control the frame through which the citizenry view the world. Every civilization exerts massive amounts of energy to ensure its population sees things the way it wants it to see things, and to label the way competitor civilizations see things as 'misguided', 'wrong', or even 'evil'. Every time you think another country does things the wrong way, and yours does them right, you think within the frame of your society.

Yet frame control extends to a far more granular level than that of civilizations.

Any time you interact with a group of people, frame control is at play.

Any time you interact with a single other person, frame control is at play.

When you talk to a girl, frame control is at play. Either you'll control the frame, or she will.

When women test, this is in part to see if you'll yield the frame. Women are not attracted to men who yield to their frames, but they will test (over and over) to see if you will. They must discover if you are a man strong of frame or weak of it.

There's a form of frame control you can use called 'force framing'.

Force frames are for when you want to frame something that isn't necessarily true, or the other party may not readily accept. However, you still want to impose the frame regardless.

The force frame is how you impose that frame despite the other party's 'opposition'.

A Man's Legitimacy

man's legitimacy
A man’s legitimacy in the eyes of others determines what he can and cannot do. And as legitimacy falls, it influences how that man reacts.

A few weeks ago, I posted about the concept of increasing complexity in the mating market. In it I talked about some ideas inspired by Joseph Tainter's Collapse.

Today I want to talk about one more idea the book inspired. That's legitimacy.

In Collapse, Tainter discusses a society's need to maintain its legitimacy. That the more a society struggles to prove its legitimacy to the people who live within that society, the more it has to direct resources into displays to uphold its legitimacy (like monumental architecture, or war with neighbors to inspire patriotism) or into efforts to coerce its population to go along with things and to stifle dissent.

In fact, not long before a society enters a collapse, its construction of monumental architecture often reaches its peak. Despite the fact that there are fewer and fewer resources available as societies slump toward collapse, the society throws more and more of its shrinking resources into larger and larger buildings and monuments. Likewise, as societies proceed toward collapse, coercion increases, social trust erodes, and everyone ends up looking over his shoulder for those who might imply he's guilty of doing/thinking the forbidden.

All this is fascinating when you apply it to civilizations.

But as I read Tainter, it occurred to me his work applies to men as well.

Because just like a civilization, a man must also labor to establish legitimacy.

And just like a civilization, as a man's legitimacy crumbles, he struggles, often futilely, to uphold it with increasingly grand, or increasingly draconian, ways.

The 30-Second Rule and Other Night Game Strategies

night game strategies
Guys often get approach anxiety because they don’t have a strategy: something to start and drive the interaction. So here are some proven night-game strategies for ya!

I used to have this fantasy, sort of like that Sonic Youth video where these two teenagers are staring longingly at each other across a mosh pit but the guy is too shy to approach. The mosh pit eventually bounces them serendipitously into each other.

Before I discovered pickup, I only went to bars to drink, see live bands, and hope that fate would push a hot, lonely, hipster girl into my lap. When I stepped into the mosh pit, I’d just get smashed around into some sweaty punk’s armpit. It wasn’t long before I realized the only dudes there getting laid were in the band.

Then I discovered the pickup community and all its politically incorrect but incredibly effective dating advice.

Out of all the concepts like teasing, negging, displaying higher value (DHV), and cold reads – I’d say the most useful advice is the three-second rule.

What’s the three-second rule?

  1. See a hot girl
  2. Approach her within three seconds (before your stupid brain talks you out of it)

The 3-second rule is great for newbies. But it’s not necessary for advanced guys. I prefer sniper-style game – analyzing my target, gathering data, and not moving until the situation provides maximum effectiveness or maximum results for the least amount of energy.

Advanced night gamers don’t have that annoying little voice that the 3-second rule overrides. We know how to shut it up, or at least ignore it.

The little voice sounds like this:

People will see you. You don’t know what to say. She looks like a bitch. Get a drink first. Maybe you should hit the gym for a month first. Check your Tinder. You can try again tomorrow.”