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Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

How to Be a Lovable Dick, Part 1: Why Being Nice Isn't Always Nice

Hector Castillo's picture

lovable dick
Sometimes if you’re nice to a girl, that isn’t actually what she wants. She may want nice or she may want tough... it depends on where she’s at.

For most of 2015, I took an interesting route with my behavior.

I knew that attainability was a big barrier for most girls. They knew I was a player or heard about me being a player. Plus, I’d already come so far with my curve into becoming a Genuine Man (and you can read my massive 10 article series on that journey).

So, I decided to test the boundaries of niceness. How completely sweet, caring, and doting could I be with a girl and still dominate her, turn her on, and ravage her like a savage animal?

The answer? Very.

An interaction can go from meeting her to sleeping with her with nothing but smiles, sweet words, loving staring contests, and incessant compliments. Even if she has a borefriend, too (always thought you needed to position yourself as a careless asshole to juxtapose against his capitulating and needy behavior).

However, I also went a bit too far in my niceness. I let girls act aloof, sassy, bitchy, and rude, with no consequence whatsoever. I even got friend-zoned a few times because of this, which hasn’t happened in a while (but was very funny to see).

I needed to get some edge back. So I decided to, well, become a bit of a prick again. And now that I consciously did so, from the ground up, I clearly see why dickish behavior works (and when and how it doesn’t).

Tactics Tuesdays: Screening Girls for Same Day Lays

Chase Amante's picture

This should be a fun one.

Slightly advanced. Not too advanced. This should be fine for intermediates on up.

So, this revolves around not boyfriend zoning yourself when screening girls for something quick.

screen same day lay

As you may know if you read this site regularly, it’s good and important to screen girls:

... and after you screen, it’s important to qualify:

Screening and qualifying is important for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is making sure you end up with girls you’ll be happy to be with.

Another reason it’s important though is for making a girl feel like there’s a reason you like her. If she feels like you are trying to sleep with her and she doesn’t understand why, you’re going to end up with attainability problems on your hands (because she’s going to follow Occam’s Razor and assume if you’re interested in her without communicating a good reason for being interested in her, it’s simply because she’s a random piece of ass).

So, you’ve got to screen.

Yet how you screen – particularly when you’re trying to put together something fast – is important.

How Much Should You Invest in Girls?

Chase Amante's picture

Over the years, I’ve urged you to do less for girls and not be so eager to please:

Some of the other writers on this site have urged you to do this as well:

invest in herYet, there is a flip side to this too; and that is that the man who is too stingy with his effort appears petty, tryhard, and socially stunted.

If you’re too much of a compliance miser, girls sense it’s because you fear being too nice. Which can send them into auto-rejection... when they realize you’re deliberately refusing to do for them out of a desire to hold onto power and control (as opposed to, say, not doing for them because you just don’t comply a lot because you’re a free man, outcome independent, and do only what you want to do).

What’s the right balance to strike, then?

How much should you do for girls... as opposed to how much should you not?

That’s what this article is about: how to strike the right balance with your effort.

How to Spike Her Buying Temperature

Denton Fisher's picture

I do not usually like posting about this kind of stuff, because I feel the more advanced things cater to a very small percentage of guys and I know most benefit more from studying more of the basics.

But, I want to keep everyone awake with something fun, so here is a cool technique I have taken and perfected from one of my mentors. Enjoy!

What I call a ‘Buying Temperature Spike Loop’ (it’s a mouthful, I know!) is a grouping of different techniques put together and arranged to cycle (loop) through to bring forth a reaction from a girl that is in your favor.

Because this is comprised of many different concepts I will go down the line on the mechanics of what makes this loop work; explaining buying temperature, breaks in rapport, compliance, and then at the end I will put it all together and show you what it should look like in practice.

buying temperature

Done properly, what should this technique do?

It should:

  • Build Comfort

  • Build Attraction

  • Build Compliance

  • Get Logical Buy-In

  • Force Qualification

Sound better than good? Perfect. Want to learn it? Frothing at the mouth yet? Yes/no. Cool.

Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others

Chase Amante's picture

Several times over the years, both on this site and in our newsletter, I’ve discussed compliments: both how to compliment, as well as when to do it, what compliments work best, and even a few nonverbal tricks to make your compliments more convincing.

Despite that, I notice most guys still don’t compliment much, and I suspect this is largely due to a few common fears around complimenting:

  • “What if my compliment draws attention to my own undesirable traits?”
  • “What if it sounds like I’m just trying to ingratiate myself?”
  • “What if I inflate her ego too much?”

I’m not going to tell you those fears are preposterous, because those things do happen.

However, I will tell you those fears are most likely overblown.

And I’m also going to tell you that if you even have these fears at all, you have little to worry about when it comes to paying compliments.

afraid to compliment

Let’s tackle some of these concerns though, and address what’s behind them.

How to Figure Out Your Standards for Hookups and Flings

Alek Rolstad's picture

Today I will just discuss something that I have been thinking about a lot lately – namely, your hookup standards. By standards I am referring to the different elements or traits in a woman that you enjoy, making you willing to pursue her.

hookup standards

Standards are very personal, meaning that there is a subjective element to them. Remember that at the end of the day, you decide which women you want to put effort into.

This post will just be a reflection over standards and not make any claims about what is right or wrong, but rather what choices will give you the most success in the long run. It is the practical element that I am about to discuss.

The perspective of this post is to discuss how one can either:

Anyway, let us get on with it.

How to Get Laid When You’re Really Busy

William Gupta's picture

This year I’ve been busy; really busy. I perform standup seven nights a week, I’m in law school, and I’m a powerlifter. This shortage of spare time has meant I’ve had to change how I approach getting new women in my life.

get laid busy

I’m sure being busy is something that many of you can relate to. That’s why I’ve written this post, which will tell you the best ways to integrate meeting beautiful women into your busy schedule.

Tactics Tuesday: Pace Her Reality (& Guide Her Emotions)

Chase Amante's picture

You’re with a group of three girls you’ve just met at a nightclub, and you’ve really hit it off with one of the girls, this girl Ava. She’s cute, perky, and a whole lot of fun.

pace her reality

Suddenly, you’re yanked out of an engrossed conversation with Ava by a fracas nearby; one of the other girls in the group, Miria, is shouting at one of the nightclub’s bouncers.

First the other friend jumps in.

Then your girl, Ava, jumps in too.

You hang on the sidelines, unsure what to do.

You could feel it’d been going pretty well with Ava, and you thought you stood a pretty solid chance to pull her home tonight.

The argument between the girls and the bouncer end, with the bouncer telling Ava and the other friend that they need to keep Miria on a leash or he’s going to boot them out.

Ava and the two girls debate among each other, emotionally fraught. Finally, Ava turns back to you and says, “Sorry, I think we’re just going to leave.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” you say calmly. You aren’t sure exactly how to react, but you decide to play it cool and do your best to look unfazed. “Let’s trade cells so we can connect later on.”

“I’m really not in trading-numbers mood right now,” she says, “Sorry. I just want to go home.”

Then, she turns away, and her and her two friends take off.

Them’s the shakes, right?

Could it have gone any differently?

It could have – had you paced her reality, instead of freezing in the headlights.

What Should You Focus on to Get Good With Women Fast?

Denton Fisher's picture

I hear too much garbage in the pickup community from guys who do not know what they are talking about in regards to game; too many beginners with good marketing skills, charlatans who want your money, or guys with good skill but who do not understand what it is they are doing that is actually helping them out and pointing at some obscure technique they think is the one true key to success. Well this is the no bars guide to what will get you good with women in the shortest period of time.

good with women

What I am going to review here is once and for all what will and will not help you. And once we know what is helpful diving into each point, you may better harness your learning curve and make massive gains in regards to your abilities with women.

I have found each of these present in everyone with massive success with women, and if you take them seriously you too can have the same skills as even the most wildly talented seducers.

Are you interested? Are you on the edge of your seat? I hope so. Now, what should you focus on and what will waste your time?

Sexual Dry Spells, Negative Momentum, and the Big Picture

Alek Rolstad's picture

Hi there. I hope everyone is doing well. Today we are focusing more on some theoretical stuff and less on beginner material.

This post is fit for everyone practicing cold approach pick up (the most exciting form of pick up, in my opinion).

dry spell

I have in the past already discussed social momentum quite a few times already. Today we will also discuss momentum, but look at it from a different perspective: from a macro perspective.

Social momentum (micro) - discussed previously - covered how you felt; your emotional state when out meeting women. Positive social momentum could help one get laid, as he will not only feel more like interacting with strangers, but also be more comfortable doing so. When you have (micro) social momentum, you feel like an unbeatable god, as you:

  • Approach more women, feeling on fire

  • Have bigger balls and are bold in your approach, as you don't really care all that much about rejections

  • You will in many cases be more high energy and hook more girls (as you will come across as more exciting) - the pitfall here is that you will have to tone it down when getting into "seduction mode" (unless you want to end up being perceived as a dancing monkey)

  • You will feel more confident

If you have been out in the field a few times, you have probably already reached this type of momentum. I will not cover "how you get there" in this post, as I have covered this aspect already a few times. If you need advice on how to reach social momentum, then check out these post: