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Meeting and attracting members of the opposite sex.

How a Man Meets Women Radically Shapes His View of Them

Chase Amante's picture
man's view of womenMen hold quite various views on women. Why do men’s views diverge so sharply? Much comes down to how they meet, with different avenues leading to differing views.

We just had another conversation on the forum where a guy who does 'sugar dating' (i.e., a type of prostitution previously known as 'girlfriend experience' or GFE) argued the same line I've heard a hundred times from men who frequent prostitutes of all stripes:

You pay for it one way or another, whether the meals you buy her on a date or the house you buy her once she's your wife. At least with prostitution the whole thing's [benefits of prostitution].

This isn't an article about whether you should or shouldn't do prostitution. I've already written that article.

Instead, I want to cover some of the more common ways men meet women, and how the way they meet women colors the interactions they have with them and shapes the way they think about them.

How to Build Simple Compliance Ladders

Chase Amante's picture
simple compliance laddersYou can get a girl you like to follow your lead with a simple compliance ladder. Not only will she follow you smoother and more easily, but it often even speeds up the courtship.

Let's talk about a simple technique with tremendous ability to be ramped up: the compliance ladder.

A compliance ladder is a series of actions you cause someone to make that escalates her compliance with you.

The more she complies, the more she invests, and as she becomes more invested in her relationship with you, it becomes increasingly more difficult for her to pull away, less desirable for her to, and easier for her to continue complying with larger and larger asks.

You can use this simple psychological effect (which all humans have) to do all sorts of things with people... including lead women into bed.

Tactics Tuesdays: The 'Rate Your Night' Gambit

Daniel Adebayo's picture
rate your night gambitWant an easy way to kick off a conversation with a woman, gauge where she’s at, and frame talking to you as a mood-booster? This ‘rate your night’ gambit does the trick.

Nightlife venues attract scads of women each weekend, which gives you plenty of chances to meet them.

Unfortunately, these opportunities don’t usually last for long. You might spot a pretty girl standing in front of a club, then suddenly she decides to keep walking. Or you see a girl ordering a drink at the bar, and then a guy starts talking to her a moment later. You can face challenges that add layers of complexity to your approach, such as a group of girls chatting together with closed-off body language.

Since the openings to meet women are often fleeting or saddled with logistical difficulties, you must act quickly and precisely if you want to make the most of your night game opportunities.

So today, we will look at a simple gambit that anyone can use to get girls hooked. What’s more, is this gambit works just as well with groups as it does when you’re meeting a girl one-on-one. And by the time you’ve finished reading, you’ll feel equipped to start your night game pickups on the right foot.

Neo-Direct Game, Simping, & Women's High Standards

Alek Rolstad's picture
neo-direct gameGuys who try ‘gaming’ women with this new-style “neo-direct” game aren’t gaming girls. They’re simping IRL. Which explains the harsh rejections neo-direct gamers get.

Note: I will be criticizing super-direct (neo-direct) game in this post. However, I want to emphasize that I am not attacking direct game. I have previously been harsh about direct game, but those posts were mostly a criticism of super-neo direct game that I intend to criticize here. I will clarify further in my next two posts. I have a post on direct game coming out soon and will explain how to run it properly to get maximum efficiency and consistency. Stay tuned.

Hey guys.

Today I want to add my take on women and high standards in the era of social media and simping. I want to link this phenomenon with the surge of neo-direct game.

Direct game has become more popular lately.

However, the new form that has become more popular (which Chase calls “neo-direct game”) mostly teaches men to spam-approach on the street, show interest, and hope for the best.

These techniques have done nothing good for men, aside from giving them the balls to approach girls.

Girls with inflated egos from social media, plus the high amount of simping, only leads them to hunt for more validation. With this new form of direct game, you give her exactly what she wants. But now, you are not of much value to her—that is, unless she is looking for sex. Your odds are low since it is more likely that she would just call an F-buddy to satisfy her needs rather than going along with a stranger from the street.

Never have men obtained such bad results as they have using this approach to pick up. I have read reports on forums (some are from our own forum) of guys doing 100 approaches and only getting two lays. Those numbers don’t shock me, considering the style they apply.

What shocks me is that these results are considered normal. They are not. These men have been misled.

Such a ratio is not normal for someone who has made hundreds of approaches. The number of guys sharing these numbers may seem like outliers, but they are not; it is common. They do have one thing in common: they all used this super-direct approach.

Some guys are stubborn and stick to this bad routine because that’s how some of us are. (I have been guilty of this myself). Others just give up. The latter guys come to our forum or post in our comment section that women have too high standards. Chase wrote an amazing piece on the subject. I am not adding anything to his brilliant post.

It makes sense that many men think that women today have high standards. If you opt for super-direct game (neo-direct game), you will often get rejected. From there, it is easy to assume that you are not enough for her and that women’s standards have gone up drastically.

And in all honesty, in some ways, they have gone up. I will add a different perspective to Chase’s theory that doesn’t really conflict.

This “neo” super-direct game is no different than simping on the internet. Women indeed get plenty of attention from hungry, desperate men online. Just look at the surge of “sexual” services on OnlyFans.com, and all the attention-whoring on Instagram. Even Tinder is now used primarily as a tool to gain new followers on Instagram.

What we see coming out of neo-direct game is brutal. It is simping. Most beautiful women are used to such behavior. Even those who are not completely histrionic on social media will get some level of simping from different dating apps or elsewhere.

All this is because the internet facilitates two factors:

  • Male simping

  • Female attention-whoring

The internet motivates simping because this behavior in real life (especially night game) often results in a harsh rejection.


In real life, women have to reject to get rid of such men so they don’t annoy them or follow them around. There is also the danger of some men becoming sexual harassers.

Yet harsh rejections are not needed on the web because everyone is behind a screen. The men who follow a beautiful woman online either live far away or have no way of finding out where she lives. If an online fan goes too far, she block him, report him, and have him banned. So she does not need to reject harshly.

Men can stick around online since it does not pose any danger to her, and it can benefit her social status and validation. Instead of harsh rejections, women may give men a “like” to their comment as a pitiful reward, and if they are lucky, they even get an “Oh, you are so nice :D” comment.

However, once back to real life, women reject a stranger’s approach as a safety measure, especially when he is too pushy and forcing her into a corner. Remember that women have a risk-averse nature. (Read my theoretical post on female state control for more information.) A woman will usually choose the safe option, to reject, even if she considered you cute or interesting. She doesn’t know you and wants to play it safe. Smiling back and playing along will signify that she accepts your approach, which could potentially drag her into something she may later regret.

This fact has always been true. The club served as the main ground for attention-seeking behavior in the past,. (This still happens in clubs today, but the web now outcompetes it.) It’s why women have their shields up in clubs. Constantly dealing with frumpy and bitchy women, leading to plenty of harsh rejections, demotivates many men from using simping-like behavior in clubs. This is the reason why indirect game was revolutionary back in the 2000s. It was the opposite of simping behavior. It was a countermeasure to the harsh rejections men would face in clubs.

What Is the End in Seduction?

Alek Rolstad's picture
end in seductionWhat end must you aim for in a seduction? Is it attraction? Is it stimulation? Is it to impress her so much she chases? In fact, it’s none of these… not if you want the girl, that is.

Hey guys.

I hope you are all doing well.

Let’s get ready for some advanced stuff.

Today, I would like to reflect on how the typical “ends” in pickup and seduction are not what one should strive for (aside from shagging her, of course).

By ends, I am referring to what you want to accomplish, so you get her into bed:

  • Do you impress her?

  • Do you stimulate her?

  • Do you make her attracted? (I prefer the word “compliance”)

Are these ends the correct ones? That’s what we will discuss. I will cover the typical concepts of ends and why they are not real ends or simply just a means to an end.

Then I will cover what the real ends are.

This post should not be confused with “the end game” of seduction and whether your end goal with a woman is a relationship or casual sex. Only you can provide the answer to that question.

So we will discuss which ends to focus on to have the most results. This is a more objective approach than trying to answer the subjective question of what type of relationships you’d like to have with women.

I will start with basic concepts and get into complex stuff later. Let’s dive in.

Tactics Tuesdays: Disarming Women

Chase Amante's picture
disarming womenPeople are becoming pricklier, and women are no exception. To succeed with them, you must at times disarm them first. There are 4 different ways to do that.

Lately I've been dealing with disarming.

The concept sprung to mind most recently as I realized more and more of our readers are men stuck in the 'standards zone' -- a place where they cannot get the women they want because they don't meet those women's standards. Rather than disarm their concerns (because I wasn't really treating them as part of our target audience before), I argued with guys that women's standards are not actually high... which of course just makes guys who are of this mind close up and dig into where they already are.

Now, arguing with people obviously is not an effective way to open up communication lines with them.

Arguing is what you do when you want to bludgeon someone, either to make an example of him, or to win him over by sheer force of argument... which usually won't carry much farther than a single interaction, and tends to burn through good will.

The thing is, people across the board are becoming more argumentative -- and that goes for women.

People are more opinionated right now then I've seen them since I've been alive. I wasn't around during the anti-war protests in the 1970s, so maybe it was worse then, but at least in the years since the 1980s this is the most prickly I've seen it.

Women in particular are being dosed with all this propaganda about a 'battle of the sexes' going on.

Not all women are equally susceptible to this programming. Some are very, some are a little, some aren't really at all.

However, you will encounter women who are.

To succeed with these women (or, as a less ambitious goal, to avoid unpleasant encounters!), you must be able to disarm their prickly defenses.

You must, in other words, be able to take them off their guards.

Advanced Calibration, Pt. 3: Spiking Arousal and Context

Alek Rolstad's picture
spiking arousal and contextJust because it’s the right time during the seduction to arouse her doesn’t mean the context for it is right. You must calibrate to the circumstances you’ll arouse in, too.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Lately, I’ve been exploring how to calibrate emotional spikes (making her laugh, saying, or doing something that excites her) and sexual spikes (arousal).

The idea is to use spikes to create high notes. Emotional spikes offer a boost of compliance that is quite powerful but not long-lasting. You need to use those spikes to move the interaction forward, whether moving her around or setting a frame that will benefit you throughout the interaction. Remember, emotional stimulation is not long-lasting. Frames are more sustainable. If you do not set a frame, you are stimulating her for no reason since once the emotions fade, you are back at square one.

If we assume that stimulation is a tool to facilitate setting frames and moving her around (logistical escalation), the role of arousal is less clear. When should you focus on arousal in the interaction? Are there times where arousing her is more crucial? And is it necessary to focus on arousal? These are the questions I will answer while helping you see how each aspect fits in the seduction process at different moments, given the context, so you can calibrate better.

We have previously discussed how to calibrate to the girl when it comes to spiking—not all girls can be spiked equally. Not all girls can be aroused publicly (in venues); it is not always the best strategy. Remember that all girls are different, and each may act differently from day to day and may feel differently.

This time, we’ll take a contextual and logistical approach.

Advanced Calibration, Pt. 2: Calibrating Spikes to Her

Alek Rolstad's picture
calibrating spikesWhen you spike a woman’s emotions or arousal, you have to get it right. So let’s talk ways to do that: you can meter the spike, stall it, persist with it, and more.

Hey guys. Last week I discussed calibration—knowing how and when to spike her emotions. If you haven’t checked out that post already, do it.

In that post, we learned about the pitfalls of blindly stimulating her without a particular goal in mind. Emotional stimulation provides a quick boost of compliance. However, it does not last long and quickly fades once it peaks.

If you spike her emotions for the sake of spiking her emotions, you will not gain much. But if you spike her emotions to get a boost in compliance so you can hook her in, move her around, or set a frame, you will not come out empty-handed. You will move the interaction forward and progress.

But what about arousal? Well, arousal is riskier because it can generate compliance while triggering resistance. You may find yourself dealing with anti-slut defense, and she blocks your advances, or female state control when she gets cold after peaking, and the arousal fades. However, arousal is potent. It is an insanely strong form of compliance. But it is not always warranted, nor is it always possible to publicly arouse a girl right away.

How to calibrate and when to arouse is today’s subject. We will discuss how to calibrate emotional stimulation to the girl you are interacting with, focusing on arousal.

How & When to Reward a Woman

Chase Amante's picture
rewarding womenRewarding good behavior during courtships and relationships is pivotal to your romantic success. But just how do you go about doing that?

On my article about teasing a girl to her friends, a reader named Warcode asks:

Hi chase could you do an article on ways to generally reward her? Whether verbally or physically etc and on the basis of how does this mechanism change from the beginning of knowledge to a type of relationship? The basic mechanism and then decline it to every situation. Then, for example, I do not understand well in a relationship if giving compliments of a various nature and how to do them maybe a you're beautiful is so anonymous and recurring? And if compliments should be made / convey interest how often and of what types ?. I had also read on the forum that in sex do not pay her physical compliments because she gives her too much

Sure, I'd be glad to oblige.

Today, let's talk about rewarding women: when to do it, how to do it, and the nature of rewarding women both during the initial courtship and in ongoing relationships.

Advanced Calibration: When to Spike Emotion & Arousal, Pt. 1

Alek Rolstad's picture
when to spike emotionEmotion spikes and arousal spikes are potent tools you can use to push seductions forward. But when exactly should you use these with women (and when NOT)?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I will go over some advanced calibration techniques. I’ll discuss how to calibrate arousal and emotional spikes properly. It is advanced because it goes beyond basic calibration theory and practice. You will learn how to:

  • Calibrate according to the vibe of the group (or girl)

  • Calibrate according to her response

  • Calibrate according to the setting

  • Calibrate your timings to hit when the iron is hot and when you hit a high note.

These are the fundamentals. You cannot get good at this game if you do not master these—it just won’t happen.

The above rules of calibration are elements of game that you can never become good enough at. Remember, you can always become more calibrated, sometimes to insane levels where you almost always play your cards right with the right girl at the right time.

Need help on this? Then check out my series on calibration.

Consider this post an expansion pack to that series. This post also builds upon previous posts on advanced seduction. Feel free to check out those, although I would prioritize the calibration series.

Let’s identify when you should spike a girl (create an emotional spike) and when you should not do so. Missing this crucial window could, at best, slow down the process and make things harder for you. At worst, it can cost you the interaction.

So, we will dive into the topic by discussing the pitfalls of overstimulating.