Female Mind | Girls Chase

Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

The Early Boyfriend: Why It's a Bad Idea

Sometimes, a man will meet a woman he just hits it off with and really likes. He starts spending time with her, doing all kinds of activities with her, just the two of them together, and doing everything a good boyfriend would do – before he’s slept with her.

I call this being an “early boyfriend”, and it’s bad news for all sorts of hideous reasons.

early boyfriend

The Strong, Silent Type

One of the things I always look to guide men out of doing, whether I’m coaching them in-person or advising them via phone or Internet or just writing stuff for them to read, is being the entertainer. I touched on this a bit in Acting With Intent and Faux Pas of the Sociaux Nouveaux, and I really ought to write a proper post devoted mostly to this, but the problem in a nutshell with being the entertainer is that you get a lot of false positives.

Overproviding Good Feelings

This is one of those things that, when I figured it out, kinda made me slap my forehead and go, “Duh.” But even still, it took me five years to figure it out. And I’m going to give it to you in one post.

You’re welcome ;)

I figured it out gradually as I realized a number of things:

  • I did better with women when I told less entertaining stories.
  • I did better with women when I gave them less fun.
  • I did better with women when they knew less about me.

What to Say to "I Love You"

What do you do when she says, “I love you?” Do you run and hide, or say it too?

what to say to i love you

There are two near-universal responses to a woman saying those three little words, and they’re pretty much both absolutely horrible and flat out wrong from the standpoint of achieving anything good and healthy in a relationship. They are:

  • Guy stares at woman speechlessly, face pale and full of dread, with no idea what to say back, feeling trapped and utterly put upon, or

The 2 Year Drop

Ever notice how fairytales and about ninety-nine out of a hundred romance tales you see or read are about how two people first got together? Cinderella meets her prince, against all odds, and he manages to find her again after he's lost her, against all odds, and the two of them ride off together in the carriage, into the dusky sunset. Prince Charming defeats the evil dragon to free Sleeping Beauty from her hundred-year slumber. Belle falls for Beast despite his unsavory appearance.

How come we don't start the story with Cinderella five years into her marriage with the prince? Why not pick up a decade after Sleeping Beauty woke up and Prince Charming and she made castle together? Why do we never see Belle and Beast after they've had their first couple of half-human, half-animal offspring?

It's because there's nothing exciting about that. We don't care about two people that've been together for years; that's old news. We want to know about the new and exciting things that are going on: those two people who might get together – who should get together – but who still may not get together.