Female Mind

In early 2007, back when I was still trying to figure out how to achieve consistent results picking up women in bars and nightclubs, I took some time to look back over the successful pickups I'd had over the past 6 or 7 months to see what common patterns I could pick out among them.

I noticed a few trends: I'd often had a sociable night early on, talking to different people, before meeting a girl. Sometimes I had social proof.

And almost ALL the time... I had preselection.

It blew my mind when I realized it.

Right after I'd end an interaction with an attractive girl who clearly had a good time talking to me, I'd meet the girl I'd end up picking up. Like clockwork. I even started to think that, had the roles been reversed - say, had I met the girls in the reverse order, maybe I would've picked up the other one instead.

Could it be that all you REALLY needed to get girls was preselection and an emphasis on moving fast?

Even to-date, most of my fastest pickups have come after a smattering of preselection to grease the wheels of the coming seduction.

And if you're not using it in YOUR interactions with women... you are sorely missing out, my friend.

Allow me to explain.

All right, I know I said no more relationship stuff for a while so we could recover from that big relationship series binge, but I'm sitting here after missing my flight (I should be somewhere over the Pacific right now), going through some of the past month or so's posts, and I see I also said I'd try to get some posts up regarding earlier comments, and... well...

Back in early August, Anonymous commented on the post on how to prevent cheating, saying:

“Could you write about what you mentioned, the whole making a girl feel TOO secure?”

Okay - here's one more on relationships for now. Just think of it as an expansion pack to the relationship series!

Having a girl start feeling too secure with you is a BIG problem in any kind of relationship. Big.

It's the reason why girls start treating guys disrespectfully 9 times out of 10.

And, it's the reason why a girl is bored in her relationship 10 times out of 10.

That's right - not just most of the time on that last. But, EVERY time!

But wait, you say - Walt Disney taught me to make women feel safe and secure! Isn't that what they want?

Actually... no. Everyone takes away the message of, "Protect her and make her feel safe!" from the movies most of the time... and they get it all wrong.

Because there's something else happening in those movies too - another reason why girls swoon for Prince Charming, and it isn't his trust fund.

But everybody misses that part... and everybody ends up with his own bored girl as a result.

Well, here's how to get yourself back in line with what women actually want.

My girl looked at me with a devilish smile and said: “I can’t make it on Thursday... I’m already going on a date then… with your best friend.”

She was obviously completely off her rocker.

Like most strippers, if we’re honest.

Seriously… where do I FIND these girls?

The answer, in her case, was probably not what you’d expect… I had met her at the mall, and I had picked her up during the day.

You see, one of the things about day game or transit game or any other form of “any-woman-anywhere-pickup” is that it’s like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re going to get. One girl’s single, one says she has a boyfriend… and the next one just throws you curve balls like this.

During the day, you’ll meet the sexy librarian whom you can have a truly interesting conversation with after sex… the girl that knows what “confabulation” is and never sets foot in a club.

She is off-limits to all the guys who have never built the confidence to approach girls without alcohol… I have those ladies all to myself. (Though the more I keep blogging, the more I’ll have to share them with you! ;) )

But you also meet the crazy, nymphomaniac club girls during the day… and pole dancers that are completely insatiable sexually and that will keep waking you up all night urging you to do it a sixth time please!

I’ll tell you more about this girl in a minute, and why she told me that she was going on a date with my friend… but first, let me introduce you to this new article series, by talking about the kinds of crazy things you’ll run into when you’re out meeting women, and why you shouldn’t put much stock in what women say one way or the other about whether they have a boyfriend or not.

It doesn’t always mean what you think it does… chicks aren’t angels, you know.

Have you ever noticed how women sometimes launch into relationship drama, picking a fight for no logical reason at all… and how even their arguments themselves are completely devoid of logic? Or how women sometimes try to boss you around, just to see how much they can get away with?

And with 80% of guys, a woman can get away with a LOT… until she completely owns him and walks all over his dignity. Yet he’s grateful - hey, at least he has a real girlfriend that is not made of rubber! (Grab one of our programs, of course, and you won’t have that problem).

But why do women do this? What’s the deal with women and drama? We all know they don’t want a weak guy… so why are they undermining his strength and masculinity? And what’s the best way to deal with it?

You may have read on our blog before that women test men because they NEED to make sure their man is strong – so that’s one reason why they put his masculinity to the fire. But if you give a girl too much rope, she’ll hang you with it.

Another reason for drama, however, is one of the more insidious tricks of Mother Nature… women also need to gain a certain amount of relationship control over their men. If she’s not in charge, he might leave once she’s pregnant… she needs to be sure that she can access his resources, both for herself and for their offspring.

If she starts to hold TOO much control in the situation though, she will see that you’re not strong enough and lose all interest in you. On the other hand, if you hold too much control, you will probably lose interest in her – that’s the essence of the passion trap.

The secret is to strike the right balance… and to do that, you will sometimes have to disarm one of her tests.

Let’s pick up where we left off in “How to Build a Relationship” and “How to Make a Girl Fall in Love with You.” As I mentioned previously in our relationship series, no matter how hot she is and how many options she has in guys, and no matter how much of an ice-queen she may appear to be on the surface… the reality of the situation is, it’s never an impossible task to figure out how to romance a girl because she’s likely not happy with her love life.

You cannot imagine how frustrating it is for women that they can’t seem to find a good guy!

If she’s very hot, this is even more frustrating… because now she really starts to question everything: “If I’m as beautiful as everybody always says I am, then where’s my prince? And what’s wrong with ME that I can’t find the right guy?”

I know, it’s outrageous… you’re probably thinking – what are they talking about? I AM a good guy… I’m right here… and I even approach them, what’s the matter with them?

The thing is, a good man, and one that is good enough for that kind of high-caliber girl, really IS exceptionally rare… and if you shape yourself into that kind of man - if you ask the question“ What do girls look for?” and then you go and become that - you will have a LOT of choice and power with women.

But that is exactly her dilemma… not only are these ideal guys one in a million, but they also have so many options that they’re very hard to nail down.

Last week, I talked a good bit about love: if you should say “I love you,” and a post about understanding love; the week before we discussed how to not fall in love.

What we’re going to talk about in this post is how to make a girl fall in love with you.

I probably don’t need to spend much time laying out why this one’s something worth knowing - for obvious reasons, being able to make a girl fall in love with you is a good thing.

However, you’ll find as we discuss below that having her fall in love when you aren’t in love isn’t necessarily an ideal situation, either. Why not, you ask? Well, read on, about the four Perumutations of Love, and how exactly you go about making girls fall in love, to better understand why this is the case when it comes to that most celebrated of emotions.

We’re continuing the theme of relationships on here this week, kicking it off with a post on bonding, and then onto a topic every guy wonders about sooner or later in his relationship: should you say “I love you”?

Now, in relationships, it’s paramount you keep in mind that you can only move FORWARD, to ever higher levels of commitment and intimacy.

You can’t take a girl out for dinner dates every week, and then suddenly try to make her into a pure friend with benefits who only comes over for sex and nothing else.

The other way round - taking a friend-with-benefits and progressing her to dinners and movies - usually works just fine, though.

By the same token, you also can’t demote a girlfriend into a friend with benefits. And again, the other way round usually doesn’t pose much of a problem.

You must make absolute sure you know your outcome, and plan the relationship dynamics accordingly from the get-go... if you want it all to go smoothly and well, that is.