Mindsets | Page 13 | Girls Chase

Mindsets

Image: 
mindsets
Weight: 
0

How Abstraction Can Help You Connect Better with Women

Darwin Niwrad's picture

abstraction and women
Women can seem hopelessly complicated, but if you check off some basic ideas, you’ll display enough understanding to allow them to bring their walls down for you.

When you learn how to drive a car, you don’t need to know how to put the engine together or memorize the available horsepower at particular RPMs. You don't need to know how the cylinders are operating, or understand the function of the pistons – you just drive.

This is abstraction, the general concept that applies to things of the same nature, or in this example, of how similar machines with four wheels generally operate.

You use abstraction every day in the real world, without even realizing it. This same concept pertains to women and pickup. I’m not saying women are as simple as cars, that’s far from the point, but what I am trying to help you understand is this: there are general rules that are basic to interacting with women that apply to all women. From dating to screwing, there are core rules that can give you better results and get you further in your mission of acquiring pussy or just having women around.

We will use the concept of abstraction to take a relatively complex system like women and try to simplify our efforts to interact sexually with these beautiful creatures.

So how exactly can we apply abstraction to women?

Curb Your Approach Anxiety by Flipping the Script

Cody Lyans's picture

approach anxiety flip the script
When approaching a woman, much of our anxiety comes from not understanding her perspective. This mindset tweak will help unburden your ego and smooth things out for you.

The assumption with approaching a woman is that you want her to become your lover, and because of that assumption, you probably start off approaching girls you think are going to be easier to handle if rejected, or girls you feel are less likely to reject you.

Approaching women is a unique difficulty that usually only men have to face. It is a startling requirement that tips off women so dramatically of your interest in them that it can cause you to feel helpless and very vulnerable.

So how can you start approaching a woman with confidence like the kind of man she would like to be approached by and want to attract? How can you stop overcompensating because of your fear of rejection?

Here are some ideas.

Does an ‘Outcome Independence’ Mindset Really Help Get You Girls?

Alek Rolstad's picture

outcome independence flaws
The term ‘outcome independence’ has become a popular topic in the seduction community. But the concept is flawed, as it can trip you up when it comes to getting results.

Hey, guys. Today I’m discussing a common but tough mindset – outcome independence – the idea that the seducer must become stoic, and not care about his results.

I will play the role of skeptic here, as I have a few concerns about the concept. Mainly that I believe a lot of guys are taking on the mindset but not understanding how to use it properly to get results. Instead, they’re using the mindset as more of a cop out.

Nevertheless, I believe the mindset is well-intended. If the underlying mechanism is understood, it can make you appear cool and not needy.

In this post, I’ll explain why this mindset was popularized, delve into its shortcomings, and propose an alternative that I find superior for actually getting results.

How to Vanquish Sexual Shame (and Free Yourself to Sex)

Chase Amante's picture
sexual shame
Sexual shame can debilitate you in bed, or make you fear intimacy (or feel bad about it after). However, there are 3 effective methods to overcome it.

On an article of Tony Depp's about reasons guys can't get laid, reader Anonym requests a piece on sexual shame:

"Hi,

you wrote "I was surprised how many men were ashamed of their sexuality." I wonder why do you wonder. The question for me is how can someone not to have sexual shame? What is more interesting that although this is a big topic which deserves series of articles, there are almost no articles about it on GC. There are many great detailed articles about huge amount of topics, but not about this sexual (and emotional) shame. There are articles about how to sexually liberate women, but not about how to sexually liberate yourself. I believe this is a big problem for many men, whatever the reason might be (conservative family background, religion, emotional traumas or feminist campaign against sexual violence). Perhaps an idea to consider. I believe I am not the only man who would appreciate it.

Thanks, Anonym"

I liked the topic. So I guess I beat Tony to the punch here.

There are, very roughly, two kinds of shame associated with sex:

  1. There's sex regret, in which an individual has sex, then feels bad about it after. Sex regret is where you do the Walk of Shame after a night with someone you kind of wish you hadn't spent the night with, thinking back.

  2. And then there's true blue sexual shame... in which an individual feels embarrassment often even so much as just thinking about sex, let alone pursuing it/engaging in it.

These two kinds of sexual shame are different sides of the same coin. Some part of the individual believes sex, or at least the sex he's thinking about or engaging in, is wrong.

Because he feels it's wrong, he feels ashamed to have engaged in it... or to have considered engaging in it.

In other words, sexual shame is the guilt or embarrassment an individual feels after engaging in a sex act, or when considering sex or being around something sexual in nature. This shame or guilt traces in most cases to a religious or ideological upbringing that implicitly or explicitly portrayed sex as 'dirty', 'irresponsible', or 'wrong'. Sexual shame, unaddressed, can lead to side effects that range from sexual dysfunction to depression and self-doubt.

If you're reading, I assume you don't want sexual shame.

Today we're going to talk about what causes this shame. We'll talk about the effects it has.

And then we'll discuss what you can do to free yourself of it.

The Death of Approach Anxiety: A 10-Year Reflection (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

I turn 27 years old tomorrow, but I have put multiple lifetimes of work into mastering the art of seduction. I have given it almost every second of my attention for the past 10 years. I have (literally) beat myself up learning the ins and outs of the female mind.

There are still some mysteries that remain for me, but they are few, and so I want to commemorate my 10-year journey with a video on the #1 problem that most men face when finding women they want to sleep with, date, marry, or even have children with.

Approach anxiety.

It is the BIGGEST problem that all men have.

I had it HORRIBLY in my teenage years.

Then, one day, for the most part, it turned off.

Of course, I'm human and still even encounter approach anxiety to this day, but what happened when I "woke up" is that the anxiety was overcome by something greater....

This is an ode to the death of approach anxiety. A death to that which keeps most of you from finding the girl(s) of your dreams.

The Moment That Propelled Me Relentlessly Forward as a Man

Cody Lyans's picture

experience changes a man
Throughout life, we have opportunities to gain experiences that free our minds and build our character, leaving us forever changed. This is the moment that freed me.

Some moments in life change everything. In those moments, you draw back a curtain that reveals more than you ever bargained for, and it changes you forever.

This is my story of that moment, after which my journey to seduction mastery went ahead full speed.

I have understood this story in my own way for many years, but I have never before been able to truly do it justice until now.

I was discussing this with someone casually today, and for some reason, I found the right words to describe how I felt inside. I figured, why not share it with you guys?

How Sexual Hangups Form a Wall Between You and Getting Laid

Tony Depp's picture

sexual hangups and getting laid
Getting laid is a matter of putting out a sexual vibe, getting horny, and getting naked. Those things are much easier when you’re super comfortable having a penis.

Whenever I start with a new coaching client, I ask them this question:

“What do you want?”

Since most of them are incredibly nice guys, they say, “I want to improve my social skills.”

Yeah? What else?”

“I want to be able to be comfortable in social situations, and express myself authentically.”

“Right,” I reply. “How about this question: Do you want to have sex with hot girls?”

They shift uncomfortably, avert eye contact, and eventually agree, that yes, they do; though they have a hard time actually saying it.

“How many?” I ask.

“I don’t know.”

“One? Three? One hundred? Would you like to sleep with one hundred beautiful women?”

They smile and nod. They aren’t sure. They’ve never really thought about it.

“Well,” I continue. “Let’s start with one. Would you like to sleep with one beautiful girl?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes!”

“By when? When do you want to get laid?”

“Ummm, when I have the confidence and…”

I cut them off. “How about today?”

“What?”

“Yeah. Would you like to shag a beautiful girl today?”

A smile spreads across their face. That wouldn’t be so bad. But usually, they’re not sure; they’re unable to say it – that they want to have hot, sweaty, pounding sex with a nymph, and not just improve their social skills.

More Tools to Help Conquer Your Fear of Approaching Women

Tony Depp's picture

fear of approaching women
If you want to get laid, approach lots of girls. Sounds simple, but what if approaching women terrifies you? These tools will help you conquer your fears.

Approach anxiety is the #1 problem every guy thinks he has.

I say “thinks he has” because once you get over your irrational fear of striking up conversations with attractive women, a whole world of dating possibilities bloom. But you can’t even seed that journey if you’re too afraid to approach.

#2 is knowing “what to say” to girls.

The two are connected.

You don’t approach because you don’t know what to say – you don’t know what to say because you don’t approach. It’s a paradox with a very simple and logical solution.

Secrets to Being Fearless as a Man (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Fear.

What a monstrous topic.

What an enemy.

He may be the ultimate enemy.

How do you deal with him? What makes a man truly fearless?

How to be fearless?

Totally fearless? Well, that's a huge undertaking.

Let's start with discovering the reasons behind fear and then work from that foundation to see what it means to be a fearless man?

Tactics Tuesdays: "She'll Probably Reject Me (So Let's Try)"

Chase Amante's picture

reject me
An easy way to get your feet moving despite fears of rejection: just tell yourself "She'll likely reject me anyway... so let's go see what happens.

I just talked with one of our senior discussion forum members, who took on the 30 Days Invite a Girl Home Challenge. This is a challenge for advanced guys, where the singular goal is to invite a new girl home each and every day for 30 straight days. She doesn't have to say yes and you don't have to sleep with her, but you do need to invite her home to do it. The goal is to push a guy's comfort zone and open his eyes to what's possible.

In our forum member's case, his first day on the challenge ended up with the girl he invited home saying yes and going home with him. However, he liked this girl a lot, overthought things a bit, and escalated too timidly, despite feeling like the girl was quite into him.

He didn't get the lay (although he did get a nice start to the 30 day challenge!), and the girl left.

He tried to set a date up with her later, and she LJBF'ed him.

His escalation (too unaggressive for her level of horniness) was the immediate cause, he figured... but the root cause was that he liked her too much, which led him to go too slow for this girl's tastes.

Does he just need to convince himself not to like girls too much, he wondered?

That brought to mind a long-time technique I've used to overcome nervous hesitation with women, that might be useful to some guys.

It's this: you simply tell yourself "Well she's probably going to reject me, so let's try anyway and just see what happens."