How to Become Selfish in Life | Girls Chase

How to Become Selfish in Life

how to be selfishSelfishness has never been a glorified trait among humanity. Caring chiefly about one’s own needs is frequently named as one of the greatest threats to society and causes of degeneration and degradation within it.

After all, a selfish man is supposed to be a guy who offers nothing to society. He’s nothing but some leech that cares about himself, and he’ll go to great lengths just to put down others so he can stay on top.


Au contraire. Used in the wrong capacity, sure, selfishness could certainly hurt others. However, being selfish, in of itself, is not bad. Thinking about it as a negative trait, however, may certainly be introducing a daily dose of cognitive dissonance to your life.

Such dissonance comes to the fore as you finally realize the inevitable fact that everyone has selfish tendencies.

We all aim to promote ourselves first, followed by others. Throw a big steak in front of you while you’re starving, and have the option to leave it there for someone else or die, and you’re eating that steak.

Survival is coded into our biology.

However, society promotes the idea that leaving the steak would be more admirable. Promoting ourselves over others is bad, and we should instead seek to help others over ourselves.

The conflict between society’s vaunted ideal of selflessness versus your biological desire to tend to your own needs mounts and builds, and eventually people are left attempting to help each other become better, but never helping themselves become better, even though they are the only ones who can do so.

And that, my friends, leads us in a perfect circle of solving nothing.

Ross LeonAbout the Author: Ross Leon

Ross Leon is a member of the Girls Chase Forums and an occasional contributor to Girls Chase. His focus is on body building, relationships, and personal self-development.

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G's picture

I like the way this is explained

Ross Leon's picture

Thanks G.

Talking about selfishness rarely gets much positive attention in our culture, but I'm glad readers can look past a word with negative sentiment to understand that things aren't as they seem.

Demo Jones's picture

Hi there,

First of all, awesome article! I think WAY more people should be aware of the true nature of selfishness, the benefits that you've described, and that the supposedly "noble" path of selflessness actually burdens society as a whole nowadays.

I read an article a while back on the same subject, and it explained that the significance of 'selflessness' in society was introduced when we were more communal as a society, the tribe/village/early city kind of set up. In these communal environments if someone was selfish (e.g. hording food or staying out of combat in order to survive) it would be detrimental to the community.

These days most of us don't need to worry about food shortages or the rival tribe trying to take our land and our women. We are living in a society that is increasingly individualistic, most sense of community seems to have gone out the window (especially in the more populated, developed areas). Ultimately the need for selflessness, at least how society portrays it, is no longer truly needed, and as you described above it can actually be harmful in the form of victim mentality and the like.

It makes sense to be selfish (to the point where you don't ruin other people's lives) because we aren't communal, no one can help or save us anymore (even if they knew how), burdens are no longer shared and for good reason; who wants to take on the burden of the personal individual problems of others when they are 'PERSONAL' 'INDIVIDUAL' problems that can only really be solved by the individual person. The problems we face today; depression, social anxiety, lack of motivation etc. these are the responsibility of the person experiencing them.

Popular culture hasn't evolved fast enough to keep up with society.

Ross Leon's picture

Demo Jones,

Yeah, it's good to separate selfishness from downright hoarding. Oftentimes when I think about the scenario of guys being selfish and hoarding resources for themselves, it turns out to be a pretty dumb move on their part, as hoarding resources has the potential to cause them a lot of grief, as those without resources will attempt to get their hands on the edge that a certain group of people may have over them.

I think you're getting at the real meat and bones of how selflessness is rather this ruse, where the word doesn't match up with how it is portrayed. A lot of linguistic errors in our way of speech (dictionary definitions versus street definitions) creates chaos in our lives, because we're so used to hearing words talked about in one way when in reality the definition means and entirely different thing.

The result, someone hears something that's talked about as exceedingly good, such as selflessness, then they try to be more selfless. However, they soon find that their constant attention paid towards other peoples PERSONAL INDIVIDUAL problems as you so blatantly noted that they receive negative feedback. Then society comes right back up and provides positive feedback, causing a cycle of perpetual unhappiness with the entire idea of helping other people, which results in further negative reinforcement... and well, yeah, you get the idea, it leads nowhere anybody wants to be.

I feel that the mix ups in what we're being told and what is actually occurring is the main cause of the mix up between popular culture. It's primarily what I based the article "How Experiences Shape Your Life" off of, which I think you'd greatly enjoy as an explanation piece.

- Ross

Inferno's picture

I was in class yesterday, and I didn't let this fat girl borrow my pencil because she is a jerk, so she wanted to have a tantrum. she kept trying to aggravate me and tried to fight with me, I didn't take her bate because we had a ex nike executive coming to talk to us. She moved her I pad in front of me and refused to move it and would grab it every time I moved it? I'm, starting to think I'm having an issue with women challenging me. This isn't the first girl who tried this because I didn't give her her way. These girls may have too much testosterone or something, but I don't want to go to jail .

Smith's picture

Thanks for the awesome article! that was nicely explained! It reminds me of all those times where I tried to fix someone's problem but not only did it not work, it also burdened my life because I started to think about more of their problems instead of focusing on mine.

Anonymous's picture

Is it me or is the frequency and quality of the articles on this site declining? Like is Chase in jail and can't crank things out as frequently as before?

Chase Amante's picture

Working on bringing on more writers. It is a priority, don’t worry.

As for me, I’m not in jail, though I am spending an inordinate amount of time learning funnel construction, media buying, the upsell/downsell process, and various intricacies of copywriting to satisfy various demands of the business; I’ve been plowing lots of time into building out our new sales funnel; we have a team of people on staff that’s getting somewhere close to 20 different individuals at this point, which can make admin something of a chore, and there are days when I spend 4 to 6 hours on management alone; I’ve been negotiating various contracts for various agreements and JVs we’re involved in; and the past 8 or 9 days I’ve traded probably around 100 messages back and forth with our new hosting provider as we’ve changed servers, and spent endless amounts of time testing GC on Single Hop versus GC on HostGator (we’ve finally got things 99% working on Single Hop, and shouldn’t experience all the downtime we had with HostGator anymore… plus the site now seems to be loading much faster, which is quite good).

Meantime, I’ve been still making sure we’re getting at minimum four new content articles up per week, and I’m still writing at minimum two new 1,500+ word newsletters that go out to the mailing list each week as well.

So sometimes it kinda feels like I’m in jail I guess. I haven’t had a sub-12-hour workday in forever.

Also, I do do SOME stuff other than work on the site ;)

So, yeah, we’re not going anywhere… Alek’s going to be writing an article a week for the site starting in June, and I hope to bring on some additional writers (I had three in the pipeline over the past few months, and none panned out) - it’s just hard finding guys who are talented AND know how to write AND know how to teach in this space. But it IS a priority, even if you can’t see all the stuff I’m doing behind the scenes. I was hoping to have us at a new article daily back in March, and we probably would’ve been there had some of those writer candidates gone through, but we’ll figure it out.


CHAZ's picture

Hello Ross:

I'd like to share with you a link to a conservative blog where they write about conservative values:
The motive for this is because I'd like to know your opinion on Conservatism in general and its moral relation to what is taught here at girlschase. First of all, let me say that I am in fact most grateful to all that I have learned on this site, yet, asuming that your readership are intelligent individuals, then it's impossible to detach from Reality itself and the consequences of our actions derived from what we have learned on this site. In other words, is living a sexually satisfying life with many partners necessarily destructive to society in general?
Chase Amante already wrote an article on the topic but, the link to the article I pasted here trully gives you something to think about from a moral perspective.
I hope you or Chase can write about this topic.
Thank you and best regards!

Anonymous's picture

Hi guys, I already posted this questuion on a couple of other articles but i didn't get any email back. I've been reading your articles for a while and if I started with learning pick up, I finished with learning something useful in life in general. The main question I still have is - how can I find guys like you in this world? I want to have a buddy as willing to explore this world as yoú're but what should I do to make it happen. Now, I study in Boston and if there is any chance that I can meet any of you, I would be very welcomed. Thank you.

With respect,

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