Dating Rules | Page 19 | Girls Chase

Dating Rules

Learn the rules of dating.

Image: 
dating rules
Weight: 
-2
URL: 
/pages/dating-rules

Tactics Tuesdays: Giving Gifts and Offering Compliance

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

giving gifts
You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more compliant. But you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.

Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys. At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with it.

If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?
  3. How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:

“When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.

If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).

Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)

Just my theory,
Lawliet”

So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.

In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:

The thing the Airplane! clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.

The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.

Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.

How to Build a Woman Cloud (and Unlock Abundance Mentality)

Daniel Adebayo's picture

By: Daniel Adebayo

woman cloud
Dating is a lot more fun if you have a cloud of women to choose from. To build your woman cloud, you’ll need a slightly different approach to follow-up.

This article revolves around a common question I get asked – about an issue with a particular kind of seduction, with a particular kind of girl. Maybe she’s hotter than the usual… or maybe there was a genuine connection, or the stakes felt pretty high. I’m sure most of the readers have run into similar situations during certain levels of their progress… I’m sure a lot of you can relate.

Maybe you met her at a bookstore, or on the street, or at a bar. You traded phone numbers and tried to set up a date. She’s busy. Or you set up a date, and she flaked. A lot of seducers at the intermediate level and below tend to get quite bothered by this issue. And I certainly did, too.

And what’s the solution? Better texting? Making a stronger impression? Both are valid things to try. However, those aren’t the types of things that address the deeper problem, which is:

Abundance.

An abundance mentality is something that has been discussed on Girls Chase before. And most of us already have an idea of what it looks like… or should look like. To a seducer with abundance mentality, that particular seduction or that particular girl isn’t a cause for concern... because there’s always going to be another girl willing to go to bed.

But you might be curious… how can one cultivate such an attitude?

It usually takes a few years – and heaps of experience – before this starts to take shape. It doesn’t happen overnight. But what if you could develop a higher level of abundance… let’s say, in a few weeks’ effort, or a month, or even… this time next week?

That might sound like a tall order… but it’s something that can definitely be done.

Move Fast, but Don’t Rush Her

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

don't rush her
It’s important to move fast with women. Yet, you can absolutely overshoot – and get into the habit of rushing with girls instead.

In my article on skipping steps with girls who are thirsty for you, an anonymous commenter asked the following question:

“Good read. How do you reconcile your comment that "time is irrelevant to seduction" with Chase's mantra that one must move quickly? Am I misunderstanding the context?”

Perfect question. I struggled with this one for a long time. Before finding GirlsChase, I definitely understood that women love sex, and that long courtships are signs that you want something serious. Hell, I had once slept with a girl thirty seconds after meeting her. I always knew fast is good.

But I still made certain exceptions – girls who were more conservative, girls who were hotter than my usual catch, etc.

Then, when I found GirlsChase, I kept running into Chase’s motto of “move fast.” In almost every article, it was there. It infected my brain and eventually opened my eyes to how many girls I’d lost because I didn’t move fast enough.

I changed that – quickly. And my lay count skyrocketed. Women loved how aggressive I’d become.

Yet I also found that the number of girls I took out on dates was still much higher than the girls I bedded (my date-to-lay ratio, if you want to be a nerd). I would make out with them, exchange oral favors, but intercourse was not as frequent as I’d hoped.

Why were these girls not letting me go all the way?

Because I was rushing.

You see, moving fast and rushing are two different things.

Your Sexual Anxiety and Her Sexual Anxiety: How to Beat Both

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sexual anxiety
You’re gonna need a better strategy than retreat & regroup.

Today we’ll discuss three (3) ways you can make sex more relaxing and pleasing for both you and the girl you’re with, and beat sexual anxiety in both of you.

When it’s your first time to have sex with a new girl, it can often feel a bit awkward. The lack of rapport can make the whole process stiffer (in a bad way).

This, in the long run, can lead to anxiety – she may close herself off sexually, or you might experience erectile dysfunction.

In this article, you’ll get some tools you can use to ease the process of moving toward sex... So you both feel more comfortable, and you’re able to take full pleasure without the binds of sexual anxiety.

Tactics Tuesdays: Early Boyfriend Distinction – She Helps You vs. You Help Her

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

she helps you
You shouldn’t join a girl’s shopping expedition for a date. So why’s it okay to invite her along while YOU shop? The difference is the dynamic.

In my article on The “Help Run Some Errands” Date, Lawliet questions whether having a girl come help you on dates doesn’t set too much of a boyfriend frame.

As we’ve talked about before, you very much do not want to be the early boyfriend. If you act like her boyfriend before you sleep with her, you will almost never sleep with her. We’ve even talked about the misfortune that fell one poor man who decided it’d be a good idea to take a girlfriend of mine shopping and go around holding her bags for her.

So why, then, would I turn around and propose you take girls shopping with you?

Have I flipped my gourd?

Gone stark mad?

No, don’t worry. If this distinction confuses you, it won’t for long.

That’s because in today’s article, we’re going to draw a line between what happens when you help her versus when she helps you.

7 Dating Mistakes that Doom Men’s Love Lives

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

dating mistakes
You’ve hit a plateau and just can’t get results with girls. When this happens, it’s down to at least 1 of the 7 common dating mistakes.

In my article on overcoming loser mentality, a reader named Sub-Zero comments:

“I didn’t mean to confuse you with my comments about not approaching and everything, but I do approach and have practiced stuff from your site.

what I mean about not approaching is mostly day time and night street game.

I just haven’t gone up to girls during the day time and approached them or tried to pick them up.

I do mostly grind on girls at the club, and I talk to them as well, but the grinding part is mostly my approach, I sometimes go into convo and get numbers.

I have used techniques from this site, and have gotten lays from it.

it’s just hard for me to put myself out there to potentially get rejected and wasting my time. I always have felt like think that since I was young.

that is how I feel, but I know I can’t feel like that.

I have been here for years and I should be better than where I am at, I have gotten numbers, deep dived, but i haven’t gotten many dates even though I’ve been here for years.

maybe you see something I don’t.

I didn’t realize I have been on my head so much until you pointed it out.

I do approach, but I don’t really count them because it’s not like day game approach, I feel like that is really cold approaching.”

Sub-Zero’s commented multiple times in the past that what he wants is to have lots of success with women, and in particular he wants to have lots of success with women 10 years his junior.

These things are, of course, achievable.

The problem is that how he goes about achieving these objectives (and how many guys do) is flawed. He makes a number of very key dating mistakes.

I’ve seen time and again guys frustrated with their results making one or more of these same dating mistakes. The mistakes all center around the same error: the guy gets too caught up on doing certain little things, and misses the big picture.

So, to shake you out of any of these mistakes you may be making, today I want to shine a light on the seven (7) biggest dating mistakes men make... And what you need to do to overcome them.

Tactics Tuesdays: Time Management on Dates and in Pickups

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

time management on a date
You hit it off with a girl, or have a wonderful date. Then, suddenly, she has to go. You can avoid this, yet, with better time management.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or train and have a nice little chat, but before you could take her number, she stood up and said, “This is my stop,” and suddenly rushed out the door?

Or you took a girl on a date, with things going swell, only for you to try to take her home but find out she had somewhere she had to be in 45 minutes?

How you manage your time on your dates and in courtships, conversations, and pickups is key. You already know how crucial it is to move faster, hit escalation windows, and get the girl before attraction expires. But at the micro level, you must be able to manage the details of time management, too.

There are two parts of that battle:

  1. The knowledge of how much time you have with her
  2. The strategy around how best to use that time

The stronger you are on each aspect of courtship time management, the more success your courtships will bring you.

Tactics Tuesday: The “Help Run Some Errands” Date

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

errand date
If you’re a busy guy, one of the best productivity hacks out there is to invite girls along with you on errands you otherwise have to run.

I know, how unromantic, right?

Well, not every date is about sweeping her off her feet and being her Prince Charming.

Sometimes, all it’s about is building the most effective path toward getting her into bed with you with as little muss and fuss as possible.

After all, you can charm her all you like once you and her are bedfellows.

Enter the errand date: where a large part of the date is structured around her helping you run some errands you have to run.

This is a super fun date, for a number of reasons... Not the least of which is that it builds in tons of compliance automatically, immediately positions you as the leader, and keeps the two of you moving, which leads to lots of shared experiences in a short amount of time... The very formula of a structured date, one of our three date templates.

But how are you going to get a girl to come run errands with you? And won’t she feel insulted? Or think you’re wasting her time?

Tactics Tuesdays: Flake Handling, Prevention, and Mindsets

Denton Fisher's picture

By: Denton Fisher

flake prevention
A slew of helpful mindsets, prevention tools, and firefighting techniques for handling flakes. What do you do when she cancels on you?

Flakes are an area of dating charged with emotion. A lot of men take flakes personal in a big way. They feel insulted and like their time’s been wasted.

We have a few articles on Girls Chase already on flake-handling. They are:

Today, I want to share with you my views on flakes. Guys at different stages of their journey will give you different takes, and there a lot of different ways to handle flakey acquaintances. At this point, I’ve spent my time in the approach grinder, bedded well over 100 women, and I’ve accepted flakes as a part of the dating game – I’m beyond taking it personal. So my views are going to be different than those of a guy trying to have sex with 100 percent of the women he interacts with.

These mindsets and techniques won’t help you hook up with everything that moves. Not even Hollywood star status, world-class game, or a billion bucks in the bank will do that. And the stage you want to aspire to reach is the one past the stage where you feel the need to hook up with everything that moves. However, along the road to mastering this skill set, men should oscillate between both extremes to ensure proper growth.

With that said, here are my tips on flaking and text game.

Why Not to Talk About Game with Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

content="Lots of guys talk about game with girls. But how does this affect your relationships with them? And is it worthwhile to do?">

talk about game
Lots of guys talk about game with girls. But how does this affect your relationships with them? And is it worthwhile to do?

I’ve noticed a difference over the years between my natural friends and my pick up artist friends. Well, more than one difference, but this one is the topic of this article.

The difference I want to talk about today is that my natural friends never talk about game with girls. My friends who’ve intensively studied dating often do.

This one little difference echoes through their relationships with women. It affects what they talk about with girls on dates. It affects what they talk about in their relationships. And it affects (or is a product of) their thoughts.

I’m going to tell you it’s not good to talk about game with girls in this piece. You might not like that. Maybe you want to be completely open with girlfriends. You’ll see why I recommend this as we go through the article though.

And I think by the end of it, you’ll agree.