Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: The 3-Minute Rule

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By: Chase Amante

3-minute rule
Use the 3-minute rule before you approach a girl. If someone will disrupt you or pull her away in the first 3 minutes of conversation, don't approach her (yet).

A little while back, we covered the 3-second rule. The 3-second rule is a tactic you can use to get yourself to approach women before you lose your nerve. It's a useful rule. You won't always use it, but if you struggle with approach anxiety, it should be your default.

Today we'll talk about a different tactic called the 3-Minute Rule. Although it sounds the same, this is a different rule with a different purpose. The 3-second rule's purpose is to get you to approach. The 3-minute rule is to focus your approaches and get you to avoid time-wasters... so you can zero in on worthwhile women.

As you use this rule more, you'll find your approaches succeed more. Early pickup wildcards will bother you less. And meeting women will grow more relaxed and easier.

Social Acceptability and Sexual Acceptability in Dating

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By: Chase Amante

social and sexual acceptability
The more acceptable a match a woman thinks you are for her, the better your odds with her are. Here's what you must do for her to mark you 'acceptable'.

Since I started this website, we've always stressed the importance of fundamentals. Fundamentals range from your posture, facial expressions, and voice, to how you walk and move, your hairstyle, your facial hair, your clothes, your fitness, and physique. Also included: social fundamentals like sprezzatura, and how well you stick to the Law of Least Effort. All are great, and you will do better with women the better you get on each. But why are they important?

Fundamentals help so much because they make you more attractive. Get your fundamentals good enough, and you can even overcome your disadvantages. Girl doesn't usually like men of your height, weight, race, job type? Get your fundamentals good enough, and it becomes "Wow, you're not like the other [whatever you are]!" Why would this be, though? How do fundamentals overcome deep-seated biases in partner choice?

The way fundamentals do this is by raising either (or both of) your social acceptability or your sexual acceptability. Acceptability is a topic Alek's been discussing in his "Female State Control" series, under the name of 'social frame'. I want to unpack this concept more here, and look at a few of the different ways 'acceptability' can go. Because not all sorts of acceptability are created equal.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Future Project

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By: Chase Amante

future projection
If you can future project, you can lead a woman to imagine you as a part of her future. This is no mythical trick -- it only takes words to do.

One of your prime objectives with a new woman is to have her think of you in a different way from how she thinks of other men. Most men to her are nameless, faceless strangers. Even if they're attractive, if she feels no connection to them, they'll struggle with her.

Yet once a woman feels a connection with you, and envisions the possibilities with you, it changes. She won't dismiss you out of hand. She'll consider what you say to her. She opens up to your suggestions.

One tactic to 'fast track' women envisioning themselves with you is future projection. To project something is to push it out and paint a picture of it. When you future project, you paint a picture of the future.

Paint a good-enough picture, and a gal can start to feel like the two of you are already close to something like boyfriend and girlfriend... even if you've only just met.

Don't Chicken Out with Women; "Next Time" Never Comes

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By: Chase Amante

dating next time

There are many common errors men make in dating. These errors sabotage in small ways or large ways with women. The errors put guys through endless frustrations... usually of their own doing.

We'll talk about an error today in the way guys often think about "next time." Because it's sort of a big one, but it's likely one you won't stop to reconsider too often.

If you sift back through your memories, I bet you will find instances where you thought "I'll do it next time." See a beautiful girl? "I'll talk to her next time." Talk to beautiful girl? "I'll ask her out next time." On a date with beautiful girl? "I'll ask her home next time." Home alone with beautiful girl? "I'll make a move on her next time." As soon as you read these, I know you know the thoughts are counterproductive. If you're like most men, you still have them sometimes anyway though, don't you?

What's not included are the 'next time' thoughts you don't have. Like "That girl rejected me, but I'll get it next time." Or "My approach sucked. Next time will be better." Or "It's all gone tits-up with this girlfriend. But I'll do things right with my next one."

Men have these 'positive next time' thoughts far less often than they should. Yet they are a key to staying sane in the moment, and heading off neediness before it crops up.

6 Ways Online Dating Compares vs. Meeting Women in Real Life

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By: Chase Amante

online dating comparison
Dating apps and online dating are a fast, low effort way to meet loads of partners. But are they a perfect substitute for real life?

Over the last 15 years, the way people use the Internet to date has changed, in some ways.

But in other ways, it's remained exactly the same.

The first time I tried online dating, in 2004, it was still sort of a new, fringe thing. There weren't that many people dating online. There were around 1,000 online dating websites at the time (844, according to Wikipedia). Today, according to Forbes, 1,000 new online dating sites open each year. Match.com and Adult Friend Finder were the big fish then (the founder of AFF, Andrew Conru, invented online dating in 1994). Scammers were already well established; a clever spam message from a gorgeous girl-next-door type with a phone number two digits short claiming she saw me on Match.com, where I'd recently deactivated my account, lured unlucky-in-love 2004 me into paying $50 to for some fake dating site before I'd figured out what happened. Online dating at the time had a reputation of being a place desperate losers and awkward weirdoes went to. If you tried online dating, there was probably a reason, and that reason was likely an unfortunate one.

Since 2004, I've tapped online dating to meet women in various ways. Online is a useful supplement, but it's always taken the back seat to real life for me. Of late though I've seen online dating and dating apps become a lot more prominent among men. Meanwhile the portion of their women guys meet in real life is falling.

This is not a good thing for men, for many reasons. You may not want to hear it, but swiping your way through a dating app and thinking you are doing "game" is often not going to lead you where you want... unless you have a very clear idea about what you want.

But it's not all bad news and gloom. Sometimes, the right dating app can be just what you need.

Today let's compare online dating and dating apps to meeting women in the real world. We'll compare along six (6) dimensions:

  1. Quality

  2. Quantity

  3. Intentions

  4. Effort

  5. Risk

  6. Satisfaction

Let's go.

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Busy When with Women

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By: Chase Amante

busy with women
Busyness can be very attractive to women. But to make it so, you need two things: flirtation and instruction.

Women like busy men. They find them attractive. This is because women like capable men, and busyness implies capability. If you're busy, you must have it going on.

You can't fake busy. Or if you try to, it won't come off well. There's too much nuance to being truly busy to effectively fake it.

However, if you actually are busy, there's a right and a wrong way to use your busyness with women. Use it the wrong way, and women will assume you aren't interested. Use it right, and you can up your attractiveness while making women invest more in you (and commit to the courtship).

Double Standards Are Perfectly Okay

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By: Chase Amante

double standards
Guys get told they’re guilty of horrible double standards all the time. But are double standards actually a bad thing… and are they even real?

There is a strange phenomenon in urban places. Double standards come under attack.

Not all double standards, mind you. But certain ones.

How to Get Somewhere with a Girl: The Floors and Ceilings Method

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By: Chase Amante

how to get somewhere with a girl
It’s simple to get somewhere with a girl when you use the floors and ceilings method. Raise her floor, and raise her ceiling, and she will soon be yours.

I just talked to Alek about his neat new series on Female State Control. If you haven't read it yet, check it out (see the link).

When we talked about that, it brought up a way of thinking about how to get somewhere with a girl I've long had, but not discussed much. I've talked about it here and there, especially with deep diving and connection stuff. It's a sort of basic understanding of how progress with women works.

This understanding is what we might call 'The Floors and Ceilings Method'.

This method is very slightly complicated to understand. But not much. And once you have it, it gives you another dimension to understand male-female courtships with.

The method isn't limited to seduction. It also works with sales. It works with new friendship formation. Any kind of new relationship formation, especially where you want to get someone to do something, uses it. We'll focus on using it with women you like in this article, but it applies everywhere.

This is a simple method. I'll explain how it works, and you'll soon see how it applies to so many things.

Tactics Tuesdays: Leave Her Alone 2 Minutes

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By: Chase Amante

leave her come back
If you run into resistance with a girl, instead of plow through, step away a moment... to let her fix her resistance herself.

Usually when you meet a girl, you don't want to leave her. If you leave her, she might leave herself! Some other guy might dash in to steal her away. Her emotions toward you may cool. There's no telling what could happen.

So, you will tend to be with her straight through. Straight to the point you take her contact info, then say farewell. Or straight to the point you invite her home (then take her there).

Once she's home with you, you'll be at her side the whole time too. You want her to get comfortable with you, after all. She can't get comfortable with you when you're not there.

Thus, this tactic might seem a smidge counterintuitive.

Yet if you want to solidify her commitment to you, and get her to value you more, this one'll do that.

And all you have to do to use it is (at the proper moment) leave her alone for two (2) minutes.

Before You Can Learn, First You Must Deprogram Unhelpful Beliefs

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By: Chase Amante

deprogramming bad beliefs
Before you can put new beliefs in, first you must push past old bad beliefs that conflict. But what if you don’t even know you have them?

There are two sides to learning.

On the one hand, there's learning something new. This side is important. You need to learn new strategies to get what you want. You need new techniques. You must give yourself new mindsets, new behaviors, and new mental models. All this is vital.

There's another side though that's a lot more overlooked. This side is in many ways even more important than the first side (learning), because without it, the first side is tough or impossible. This second side is that of unlearning. It is the art of deprogramming.

Everyone knows when a cult member makes it out of a cult, he has to go through a long period of deprogramming. This is worst for children raised within that cult, where the cult is all they've ever known. People raised in a religion who reject that religion go through it. People raised outside religion who later embrace it go through it too. The unlearning -- the deprogramming -- is as crucial as and in many ways more crucial than the learning. Until a man deprograms himself of old beliefs, he doesn't have the room to take on much in the way of new ones.

Deprogramming lies at the heart of switching from an ineffective way of trying to get what you want to an effective way.

Yet, sometimes, some men are wholly resistant to deprogramming.

And when you can't deprogram a man, you can't reprogram him either.

Which is bad for all sorts of reasons, if his old program is not a good, useful, helpful one for him.