Confidence

Having experienced the power of cold approach and the value of doing it in a rather systematic and calculated way (you will probably hear more about this in the next articles...), I am a bit surprised that I am actually writing this article myself.

I am a big believer in the efficiency of talking to every girl that I find even remotely interesting, because doing so puts me in a good mood. And, when I am in a good mood, talking to hotter girls becomes easier. Those who are not new to seduction advice know this principle very well. It is called state-shifting, and it basically consists in warming yourself up by talking to girls who might not necessarily turn you on, but that still give you that rush of adrenaline (due to the cold approach) that makes it very easy to do the next approach with the hotter girl.

While I still recommend the state-shifting approach for beginners (as a beginner you are still dealing with approach anxiety and a lack of reference experiences, so being too fussy can actually backfire), today I’m going to describe the benefits of being very selective regarding the quality of the girls you are going to talk to.

This article can be of value to beginners as well, but it is especially designed for intermediate/advanced guys who already have at least 500-1000 solid interactions on the street with women through cold approach.

Beginners are more likely in fact to have the problem of too-high standards than too-low ones; if you are a beginner, you should probably read this article first.

Hey everyone.

Today I wanted to discuss a very important form of confidence that is rarely mentioned, yet is a KEY factor in your success with women. We are here talking about sexual confidence.

I will first discuss what it is and how it will affect your success with women, then I will give some suggestions on how you can become sexually confident – i.e., tell you how to get there. So this post will be a mix of theory and practical elements.

“You wannafourfour?”

Around a year and a half ago, this Tinder message buzzes my phone as I drive back to school. I’m returning from a trial shift at a club I hope to work at for the upcoming summer.

Despite my good mood, however, I’m confused. What the hell is “fourfour”?

The girl messaging me is a cute blonde sorority girl who I’d set up a few dates with, but she always flaked. Save for a few run-ins on campus, we didn’t see each other much. Then we matched on Tinder, but it’d been days since I sent a message, with no reply. Now, at the tail-end of a Friday night, she’s messaging me to “fourfour”.

“She must be messing with me,” I think to myself.

As far as I can remember, I’ve always thought that the entire world was playing a prank on me. And women flirting with me and chasing me, well, that was just the cruelest of jokes. I feared that the moment I flirted back or asked them out, everyone around me, including the girl, would turn towards me, point their fingers, and laugh as they tease me “Oh you really thought she’d get with YOU?!” This was the insecurity that caged the seducer in me for far too long.

I have gotten a few more or less beginner questions in the comment sections of my sex talk articles. Now just to make it clear, although I think sex talk is the best way to get women into bed (personal opinion), I still consider it an advanced technique.

Now this doesn’t mean it is a bad thing – if you are an advanced to intermediate player you will benefit a lot from reading advanced posts. I have written in the past about the purpose of advanced techniques, so in case you wonder about whether or not it is worth learning advanced techniques, then I would recommend you dig into that post.

Essentially, when it comes to just getting laid, the basics are all you really need. Now some get creeped out by the word “basics” because they usually associate it with rejecting seduction skills and so on. Truth is: I don’t.

Some basics that come to mind:

• Taking care of your looks and posture

• Knowing how to open

• Knowing how to hook her in and display attractive traits

• Isolation

• Escalation

• Handling logistical issues (her friends)

• Handling resistance with some basic techniques (such as persistence – done the right way of course)

• Sealing the deal

Every day I read questions on different forums saying things like “I love this girl so much, what should I do?” This kind of question irritates me. It irritates me because you can’t love something you aren’t committed to. I don’t care what kind of fantasy you have in your head, if you haven’t made a move on her, you don’t love her. Why? Because if you actually strongly desired her you would have made a move; you would have committed yourself to a certain course of action.

Our culture has become obsessed with thinking and not doing. We obsess over the fantasy of doing something great but rarely commit ourselves to doing great things. Invariably, every guy I’ve met who is good with women knows how to commit. I’m not talking about being exclusive, I’m talking about acting on his desires.

Many guys have passion only in the mind, but their lives are listless. This indecisiveness disgusts women. The higher the quality to the woman, the lower her tolerance will be for listlessness. The indecisiveness that plagues this generation comes from the fact that we have so much information at our disposal. Data that supports both sides of every argument. Many men look for proof before they act, and that may work well in science but it is a horrible way of going about bedding beautiful women.

This post will be part practical advice and part philosophical treatise. I will begin with the practical advice and then move to the more theoretical elements on my philosophy of commitment.

I’ve tried to pin down what separates guys who have success with women and guys who don’t. I’ve come to the conclusion that guys who have good game have better intuition when it comes to women.

They notice the escalation windows, they know when to go for the kiss, and they know how to get her to bed. Naturals act on this intuition naturally. Guys like me had to earn through repeated failure and reading literature on the subject.

This article will break down how to develop a natural’s sexual intuition.

This one’s Part I of a 2-part special request for an old student of mine from Denmark.

We had the opportunity to catch up, about a week ago, after not having spoken in a while. One of the things we discussed was love at first sight; in particular, how frequently we experience it and whether it’s always been that way.

For me, love at first sight began as a spontaneous event that occurred maybe 2 to 4 times per year: I’d go around, most days nothing, but then, one day, some girl would pop out at me from the crowd, and she would be PERFECT. Even her flaws would be perfect. For whatever reason, I’d be crazy for her.

Over time, I’ve trained myself to spot girls I’ll get this feeling for even more readily, and now sometimes I’ll run into multiple girls I’ll get this feeling for in the course of a week. It’s certainly much more common than 2 to 4 times a year for me now. There are other factors involved than training, of course, too (preferring to spend time in big metropolises with lots of beautiful, fashionable women makes this much easier).

For my alumnus, it’s gone in the reverse direction: he used to feel it now and then until he met his high school girlfriend, a love-at-first-sight coupling that ended when she tore his heart out and stomped it underfoot at 17. At 35 and dozens of lays and relationships under his belt, he’s never felt ‘in love’ with a girl since, and never experienced love at first sight again.

I asked him, and do you think she just raised your standards so high no other girl can meet them, or do you think she just hurt you so bad you haven’t let yourself feel anything since?

He told me it was the latter.

I gave him my thoughts on getting some emotional freedom, and on training oneself to experience love at first sight more often. But he asked me if I could write an article on the subject too.

So here, it is, split into two parts: Part I, on stripping yourself of fear of love and romance, and next time, Part II, on finding more of those girls that you are just crazy about.