Relationships

I happened upon an article entitled “An Open Letter To My Future Wife: How I Plan To Make You Happy Every Day Of Your Life” earlier today, written without a doubt very sincerely to the author’s imagined future wife – here’s a short excerpt:

“I promise to do my best to make you beam daily, so count on many surprises. Your smile will be my priority. I get weak knees when anybody smiles, so just imagine the effort I will make to be the source of yours.

I promise I will always look at you with the same adoration as I did the moment I realized I loved you.

I promise to try to ignite the same sparkle in your eyes I see when you’re surprised, inspired, motivated or when you are about to lean in to kiss me.

I promise to hold your hand when we’re 80 years old with the same liveliness that I did when I crossed that line to hold yours for the first time. I vow never to let the excitement of dating me die down; I will surprise you with the location, the reason or the activity itself.

I promise to keep you guessing where we’re going next.  I promise to do my best always to interest you. I will keep reinventing myself, gaining new hobbies, new knowledge and new interests to keep you — and myself — entertained.”

... and it goes on like this for quite a bit.

At the bottom of the article are plenty of Facebook comments from girls praising (sort of) the article, of course, saying things like:

There’s even a female commenter saying (jokingly) “Marry me!”

But of course, no one’s actually lining up to marry this guy... despite all he’s promised.

Remember that girl you dated in high school? You know, that really cute one with the seductive laugh who hemmed you all up and then started acting like a complete loony bird?

If you’ve been out of the house much, I’m sure that rings true for many a woman that you’ve dated or maybe even ended up in a relationship with.

A study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry on “Mental Health of College Students and Their Non–College-Attending Peers” found that 1 in 5 young adults have a personality disorder, based on interviews with 5,092 persons aged 19 to 25 in 2001 and 2002.

So, crazy people are everywhere. You’re probably wondering: how do you spot them before you get involved with them? And more importantly, how do know when you’re dating one of these crazy girls?

Well my good friend, wonder no more. What follows this brief introduction will serve you well as a complete guide to detecting those mad as a March hare, no matter how well they think they cover it up.

A new relationship can be a time of great excitement, passion, butterflies, and anticipation of what’s to come. Or… it can be a disaster, and over just as quickly as it started.

I’m sure we’ve all been there. It’s a terrible feeling to get caught up in all of that excitement and emotion one day only to have it all taken away from you the next.

So how do you avoid this unfortunate scenario? I’m going to show you the 8 things you need to do to make sure that your new relationship starts off of on good footing and continues as smoothly as it can.

A topic that surfaces among men of all skill levels is understanding what women are looking to get out of their lives. It seems like women are much more fleeting with their greater desires than men are.

However, there are some general themes that I believe dictate how women act in their daily lives and in the long term. Women expect many things, and they are looking for a lot of fulfillment in their lives.

And one great source of that fulfillment can be a good man. Or more specifically, you. So I want to talk about what women are looking for in general, and then frame the actual top ten list in terms of how women expect men to fit into the overall scheme of their lives.

While growing up, women always meant one thing to me: girlfriend material. Women were always potential lovers; never once did it slip into my mind that I could be friends with them.

It wasn’t until I started racking up lovers that I felt the need to slot women into particular roles in my life. I couldn’t (and didn’t) want to sleep with every woman that came into my life, because some women ended up becoming a bigger headache than they were worth as lovers.

However, I began to realize the importance and utility that a mutual friendship could produce. High status women are excellent for social fulfillment, preselection, and they can help you get a closer look at how women act on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, I ran into quite the conundrum. I would harmlessly flirt with women, only to find myself sleeping with them and having our friendships break down. Women would seek sex from me, and I would give it to them, thinking we could still be friends afterwards.

After all, it was just sex.

As I quickly began to realize, I was ruining potential friendships and potential lovers by flipping in between definite roles. The relationships were in some weird middle of the road status, and things would become awkward in a hurry when neither of us knew how to proceed.

What was the underlying problem for me?

I wasn’t defining our relationships roles from the outset. The perpetual chaos that ensues in this situation works against producing stable relationships and causes them to break down. I lost plenty of women because of my indecisiveness, and you could too if you don’t know where each woman belongs in your life.

In the piece on Dale Carnegie’s advice, a commenter asked about dealing with power struggles:

“Hey Chase this is a great article. Could you do an article about how to handle power struggles in friendships? I find it really has to do with investment. For example, my friend wants me to meet him somewhere, but I want him to meet me. Its like five minutes away, but its a power struggle thing. I get really annoyed when people do this because I’d like to have friends who don’t try to make things a competition like this. But I also have learned from this site that everyone is like this. Can you help me out?”

In the end, power struggles are always about the same thing, whether they’re in your romantic or sexual relationships, or your platonic ones – and I’ll cover all of these and everything else in the scope of this article.

There’s little more frustrating than having to deal with the relationship equivalent of guerilla warfare, but this is exactly what power struggles are – someone using frame control attempts, passive aggression, moral superiority and other forms of social subterfuge to undermine your position and climb the social ladder to a position above you in the hierarchy.

Not fun at all... and frequently quite draining.

So let’s talk about how power struggles come about, and what you can do once you realize you’re in one.

A reader asks:

“Hey Chase, any quick tips on performing oral sex on girls and stimulating the clit specifically? I checked out the other articles but I couldn't get anything specific on the subject.”

We seem to get asked this one a lot... and always on articles that have nothing to do with sex. So let's address it: how to give a girl oral sex.

This is one a lot of men seem to struggle with, but you may be relieved to know it's actually much simpler to learn how to give a girl orgasms through oral sex than it is to learn how to give her orgasms via penetration.

There's no rhythm you must learn to be good.

You needn't exhaust yourself heaving your body back and forth.

You won't even have to learn about the g-spot, the deep spot, the vaginal back wall, or Ricardus's “r-spot” from his article on how to be a good lover.

In fact, all you need to make a girl orgasm from oral is a little patience... and a willing tongue.

And, of course, my 4 simple steps.

WARNING: this one is not safe for work... there is one section below where words do not suffice, and graphics simply are needed. So make sure there's nobody around you can get in trouble with for looking at clitoris pictures before you proceed (and if there is... what are you doing reading an article about oral sex at work, anyway).