Relationships

Ah, threesomes! For many men, having sex with two women at once is the pinnacle of manliness. Ask any man about his sexual fantasies, and if he's man enough to admit he has some, you will almost certainly hear "two chicks at once."

Unfortunately, many men write this off as a possibility, relegating it to the fantasy lands of pornography and science-fiction.

However, I can tell you that not only is it highly realistic, but how to begin having threesomes yourself.

We have a few articles on this site on threesomes already, focusing on meeting two women at once and taking them both home:

• How to Get a Threesome by Cody Lyans

• Threesome How-To: Step-by-Step to Get Two Girls by Alek Rolstad
  

What I want to talk about today is something a little different - today's article is on taking a girl you're already seeing, and having a threesome with her and someone else.

One key thing to understand for this or any threesome is that women have highly intricate, detailed sexual fantasies. They will only discuss them with certain types of men, but when you become that type of man, you will hear several common themes that are repeated over and over again.

One of them is group sex. It is my opinion that nearly every woman on Earth has fantasies that involve two girls and a guy, or a girl and two guys. So that's already in your favor, before we even begin: she's already thought about it.

Further, many women have already experienced threesomes or foursomes. Brave women will act on their fantasies when they feel safe and excited to do so, and that is the purpose of this article: to help her feel safe and exciting to indulge in some of her wildest fantasies.

There's a very powerful factor in both courtship and relationships that has an outsized influence on how "with you" a girl really is... or isn't.

It's something that makes all the difference in the world between her brushing off and deflecting interlopers who come in to try to make you and her break circle when the two of you have just met, or her indifferently engaging in conversation with whomever she finds herself talking to next, with little a care or concern about re-engaging with you.

And it makes a huge, obscene amount of difference in how much of her time a romantic partner of yours is going to spend thinking about you, doing nice little things for you even when you haven't asked her to, and going out of her way for you... and it even makes a very large difference in how much respect she has for you in your relationship, how personally insulting or not she is during arguments, and even how likely she is to cheat on you.

This one single factor is something called "emotional association", and it's a factor that you want to get going for you whenever and wherever possible.

In my recent article 'Scare Tactics and the Illusion of Control', reader Yink wanted to know how he could reconcile not using 'scare tactics' and still have his girl believe that he has options and that he can and will leave her if she doesn't act right:

“Because Chase once wrote that you need to make her feel that you have other options and can leave at anytime if she is not treating you well. So should we use the scare tactic when we feel like she is slipping away in order to make her buckle up? Thanks.”

The solution lies in having the right overall mental attitude instead of relying on individual techniques, thus the title of the article - mindsets vs. techniques.

First off, let's have a look at the definitions of each, as a lot can be gleaned from them (definitions here from TheFreeDictionary.com):

• Mindset: a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations

• Technique: a practical method or art applied to some particular task

One has far-reaching implications for many behaviours and situations, and the other is simply one solitary method to carry out a single function.

So pitting mindset vs. techniques may look as if it's a battle between an over-arching concept of behaviour and single instances of behaviour, but in fact, it's actually a battle between two meta-mindsets: the mentality-seeking mindset and the technique-using mindset.

Note from Chase: Richard is one of our more active members right now on the Girls Chase discussion boards. He recently put a post up on expectations that was quite good, and a number of other members of the boards suggested he submit this to the article side of the site - and I agreed. If you like Richard's writing and would like to see more from him, please let us know in the comment section below.

I give you Richard.

Men new to seduction will frequently fall short of their expectations of what is to come, at first anyway. Chase touched on this concept in his article on lowering your standards. Now, aspiring ladies' men often create, or set very high, expectations for themselves early. Goals like "nail a perfect 10 early on", or "only approach perfect women" (or seemingly perfect, anyway). Most guys hear about the prospects of pick up, hear about the glory, the stories, the seduction of pick up, and hear about how it easy it can be, and immediately set high expectations.

Rather than propel them to the vaunted halls of legendary success in their dating lives, though, these early unrealistic standards can hem in and hobble them.

I fell to this tendency and could not have even begun to have told you about how crippling this truly is until today, now that I’ve moved past it and understand the inner workings of this twisted phenomenon, but that’ll come later.

When you set high expectations for yourself early on without having the proper skill to acquire them, as you start to fall short of your goals, depression sets in, and, oftentimes, you start to work on approaching girls and working to improve with women less and less, and may even quit altogether... like a couple of people I know have.

The remedy for this though, is to step-stone your way up to your expectations. Create smaller goals for yourself, and work your way up that ladder. If you want to nail a 10! Start with 5s, then 6s, then 7s, and so and so forth.

A little while back, in the article on bitter women, JD asked a great question about the proper way to break up:

“[G]irls easily fall in love with me, and I'm not really considerate towards their feelings. Last time I broke up with someone it almost caused everyone to hate me... Obviously that's not something I'd like to happen. So how do you break up? How do you leave women thinking; 'wow, he was awesome, too bad he's moved on'?”

Breaking up is a wrenching affair much of the time, especially for the partner who's trying to hold on while the other lets go. Break ups are rarely mutual... far more often, they're one-sided, with one partner giving the other the boot, while the booted party feels hurt, shocked, injured, and helpless.

Especially if you've had a longer relationship (6+ months or so), you're usually going to be in for a bumpy road, emotionally.

How do you deal with all these emotions, and how do you figure out how to break up with a girl in a way that's fair to both people involved and doesn't leave a lot of smashed, hurt, broken feelings?

In "The Purpose of Life from a Practical Point of View", Zac wanted to know why 'scare tactics' within relationships don't work:

“It will be cool to have an article on "Scare tactics", and why it doesn't work when there is no genuine honest and open communication.”

The question was posed in the context of styles of leadership and how to stop playing games in a relationship – which are actually two topics with a whole lot in common.

In this article, you're going to learn what a scare tactic is, why people use them, why they're ineffective in the long term and what techniques you can use to avoid them to have longer, more fruitful relationships, romantically and platonically.

First though, let's get an understanding of scare tactics.

In my article on sexual awakenings, Wallflower left a comment wanting to know how she could help a guy to drop his Madonna/whore complex:

“Just a question for the ladies ;) How would you get a guy to drop his M/W complex? Is it possible? What would be the strategy here?”

While I touched on the M/W complex briefly, I think the beliefs that frame the current Western feeling on sexual expression, particularly where women are involved, is something that is worth further examination.

To help rid yourself of your sexually limiting beliefs and any vestige of Madonna/Whore complex, a perusal of sexual lore through particular historical examples can be massively beneficial.

Learning about it will bolster your skills with women by helping you to set liberal sexual frames with genuine conviction and an understanding of why they work.

Additionally, gaining a more objective understanding of sexuality can also be of great benefit to any relationships you find yourself in, monogamous or polygamous.

And as stated in my previous article, a relaxed attitude to women's sexuality is something that is crucial to help any girl to a sexual awakening... so that the both of you can have mind-blowing sex.