(1) Beginner

Note from Chase: this is our first article from Cody Lyans, whom you may also know by the handles "The Cost of Success" or, in shorter form, "Cosy." Cody's a very talented and experienced seducer who spends time traveling mainly about Western Europe. His focuses tend to be on deep psychological layers underlying surface dynamics, knowing women inside out, and drawing women in with strong fundamental-based magnetism and a love of empowering and infusing those around him with strong positive energy. I give you Cody.

About me:

As a courageous young man he started approaching suntanned beauties on beaches and girls in shopping malls because he was, ironically, too scared to talk to girls he knew in high school. An unusually shy yet carefree character that compensates with a wild inner fire caused him to push the boundaries of his comfort zones in remarkably unique ways. Coming from a place of limiting beliefs he fought his way into a clarity that helped him to understand the things that kept causing him to make mistakes with girls.

He honed his understanding of women whilst working at nightclubs until he eventually decided to go all in and get into the action for some more hands on experience. An enigmatic yet highly engaging and open individual out to help, he believed that everyone has the right to improve every part of who they are and took understanding women as an important step towards a full and rich life. He not only learnt what allows you to present yourself as a desirable guy but also how to improve how fulfilled you are with your life at the same time.

His writing style is that of a storyteller, and his articles will bring a confident and breezy twist to the reading experience whilst still capturing the brilliant spirit of sharing here at Girls Chase.

In short he is sharp minded, surprisingly wise, and full of experience as a true believer in Seduction as a means to a better life.

We often mention on this site that “just be yourself” is bad advice; that if you really want to see yourself truly improve with women (and in general) you should continually upgrade you: your fundamentals, process, and work past any possible sticking points that you may run into.

However, I’ve noticed that a lot of guys try to reach an idealized version of a man: a man who’s smooth, confident, successful, fit… and, well… perfect, in every way.

Not just good, mind you. But perfect.

Today I want to talk about why trying to be the "perfect man" can actually hurt you… and what you can do to maximize your results with women, while steering clear of the danger of striving for a little too much perfection.

There it is: the Big Decision.

On the one hand, you've got Road #1. And it is a tempting choice. It seems like a great path to go down... maybe everything you want.

Except you're not 100% sure it'll work out.

And if it doesn't, you'll have lost all that time going down it.

Then, on the other hand, you've got Road #2. It's the safer path by far... but maybe - could it be - too safe?

If you pick Road #2, you'll probably be okay, but you might miss out on the amazingly potential upside of Road #1.

Alternately, pick Road #1 and you risk having it not lead anywhere, and then you won't end up enjoying the benefits of Road #1 OR Road #2.

So, you hem and haw, delay and stall, sending your mind into overdrive trying to figure out which choice is the right choice to make.

Only, your mind can't figure this out. There's no new information coming in.

Nothing else to tip the scales in your head to help you to decide, or force you to.

In the end, you sit there, no closer to a decision than you were when first presented with those two choices, despite endless wheel spinning, mental gears clogged with mud and grass, unable to spin any further, you unable to decide.

This article is designed to help you never have to worry about this ugly (and far too common) scenario again; it the complete manual on how to be decisive, and it's how I took myself from someone who kept ending up in these scenarios to someone who never does anymore.

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you'd really like a girl to just go along with what you've got planned, but need a way to get her to do that that she'll agree with?

Wouldn't it be nice if you had a specific technique you could use to just get her to say "yes"?

If you HAD a technique like this, wouldn't you start to use it all KINDS of places in your life to get things to more easily go your way?

Would you like me to give you this technique?

Today we're going to talk about something called the "yes-ladder" - a technique you can use for getting agreement to all kinds of things, provided you know what you're doing and know how to make a semi-compelling argument.

Do I have your interest - and would you like for me to go on?

I've had a few folks write in recently asking about pornography addiction and excessive masturbation. It's not really a subject I've been especially excited about broaching... I mean, who really wants to talk about watching other people do the deed on video while giving himself a hand?

But a few friends who've dealt with this have shared their experiences with me and suggested that I write about it, because they felt it was something that very much negatively affected them when they were in it and they thought this site was one with a wide enough audience that I'd be doing some good talking about it, and could reach a fair number of men.

I even had forwarded along to me by Genaro in customer service an email from a reader who used the contact form to send in what amounted to a full-length sales letter custom written just to urge me to write about this, because it was something he'd gone through and he felt I could really help some people by addressing it on a larger platform.

So, since it seems to be what the people want... let's talk about porn addiction: what causes it, how it sucks you in, why it's bad, and how to break its hold on you.

Something I'm being asked lately is where to find a woman who checks off every box on your list. Where do you meet those truly amazing women who are everything you want and more?

You know - a girl who isn't just good... she's great:

Her hair flows perfectly down her neck in gorgeous locks.

Her eyes sparkle with intelligence and energy.

Her perfume captures your attention and waters your mouth.

Her smile makes your heart beat faster and a flush come rushing to your cheeks.

Her personality oozes warmth, curiosity, and zest for life.

Her mind is sharp, and she knows what she wants (and what you want, too).

You actually feel nervous around her. You! Who never gets nervous around anyone!

Where do you find a woman like this? It's not like she's just out walking around waiting to be plucked off the street... is she?

The other day a reader commented the following on the article about respect in a relationship:

“What I’ve realized is my problem has never been being a closer. Once in a position to close I close. I escalate. Period. It’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s adrenaline inducing! But until a woman starts showing signs of submitting to me or hinting that she likes me, I feel afraid. I feel like I might lose her if I do something stupid to make her upset. I feel like I can't communicate any of this fear to the woman because she will lose attraction for me. And so, it's a catch 22 because I know if I don't make a confident move, she won't do it first, and her attraction will eventually fade, yet if I make a move and she doesn't go for it (rejects me) I immediately will feel as if I like her more than she likes me. And I HATE with a PASSION for a woman to find out that I liked her more than she likes me. My logical mind says I shouldn't care and that I should just laugh it off and say "whatever", but my emotional mind doesn't agree yet.

...

Have you ever closed girls that showed no visual signs at all of liking to be in your presence? What was your mindset in dealing with them? How'd you handle these girls? Was there any difference (whether subtle or more substantial) than girls who showed more signs of wanting to be seduced? How'd you change their minds if they were on the fence by persisting? And did you notice after the fact that initially aloof girls were glad you persisted and showed your emotions first?”

When you want to be liked... that's a curious thing.

In some ways, wanting to be liked is good and necessary to life as a human being:

• It stops you from being a social retard
• It prevents you from creating lots of enemies
• It makes you a more appealing person people will do more to help

But, unchecked, a need to be liked can often be a very destructive thing.

Unchecked, it leads to hesitation, over-deliberation, and, very often, inaction.

It's not even about making your self-esteem dependent on other people or suffering from far too much anxiety. Those are what most advice dispensers hoist up as the reasons to not care too much about being liked... but they're mere child's play compared to the real reasons this mess you up.

Because if you spent too much time trying to be well-liked, you will miss out on the all best things life has to offer you.